Hello guys... and sorry for updating so little...

I really don't know what to say, but I should at least say thank you to all the subscribers of this story. You guys truly encourage me to continue this. Actually, I should tell you that this is my first attempt at a love story (lol this story is no where close to that... yet) and your support really pushes me to not give up - giving up being something I do very often although I know it's not a good thing. So thank you :)

Here's a little summary to get back into it :

   Cheondung, still living as Sanghyun, discovers that the latter was in love with Jieun in the past, back in Seoul. Although he truly wishes happiness for Sanghyun, Cheondung realizes that he does not have feelings for the girl. Confused, he is trying to figure out his feelings, while trying to understand how humans love. Seungho thus becomes his only intermediate from his mind to reality. After finally gaining all the courage he thought he needed, Cheondung decides to confess to Jieun...

What are you doing?

   I'm obviously hugging Jieun. It took me time to actually gain all this courage to embrace her. It took me a whole afternoon to be precise. But strangely, I didn't gain enough courage, because I was stuck. I did not know what to do next.

That's not what I meant. You really didn't listen to me, did you?

What? Wait... How come am I hearing a voice?

"Sanghyun..." I heard Jieun say. "What are you doing?"

"I'm hugging you," I bluntly answered.

"Yeah... I noticed that."

"..."

"..."

"I-" We both said at the same time.

    She pushed me away. We both shared eye-contact, staring into each other's eyes. It seemed like a movie-like scene; it was too cheesy to actually be real. I've never quite believed in fairy tales, love stories and such. I could not understand why everything seemed to be too easy in this love story. Maybe I was lucky: no yelling, no laughing, no slaps, and weirdly a plain:

"I love you."

     I didn't say anything. She said it first. I could not believe what I just heard. It was inconceivable that she made the first step. I was afraid of her feelings and finally, they were... I guess I could say mutual?

"You do?" I asked.  

"Yeah," she shyly replied. "You like me too, right?"  

"I-" I wasn't sure about what to say. I averted my eyes for that one instant, and in that short period of time, I managed to spot a person in the sunlight, alone in the street. Suddenly, I was pulled by a pair of hands, forcing my face closer to Jieun's.

:: Seungho's P.O.V. ::

   Did they...? No way! So the girl really had feelings for Sanghyun? Wow, then I really had no reason to worry. I tried to leave with that thought in mind, but a bunch of other thoughts came up. Why wasn't I leaving with a lighter heart? Why am I so focused on the hug? Damn, this is stupid. I should be happy. Then why am I not?  

I walked away anyway, not turning back. I didn't feel like to see what was going to happen afterwards anyway.  

   That evening, I went to eat at the restaurant to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I mean, he followed every advice I said, so shouldn't I be proud? I imagined them, although I didn't know the girl, eating supper right now, probably having fun as a new couple. I sighed. I hated my imagination for a while.  

"Seungho-ssi," the waitress said. I see her often, since, well, she works here. "Why the long face?" she asked.  

"Nothing much I guess. I'm just tired, that's all," I replied. "But how do you know my name?"  

"Well, my younger brother told me about you. You're in the same class as Sanghyun, right?" she said, cleaning up after the mess a customer left on the table.  

"I am," I said.  

"Is Sanghyun doing fine?"  

"I guess he is," with his new girlfriend I almost said.  

"I know you might not know Sanghyun for too long but..." she paused, "could you take care of him?"  

"What?" I almost choked on my food but at least it was subtle or it would've seemed so rude.  She smiled shyly, maybe because she knew her request was a bit strange.

"I know it's weird to say this because we've barely just met, but Sanghyun just came out of the hospital after two years... and he... he hasn't had much friends in the past, so as his older sister, I'm worried for him," she hesitated, as if asking herself if talking to me was a good idea or not. "Since I don't have much time to spend with him, could you do that for me?"  

   I myself was hesitant, but I finally replied, "I will. As class president, I have to take care of the students in our class, so don't worry."  

...

   It was Monday, and the start of the weekdays never felt so tiring. Sleeping was so difficult yesterday night, and I had no motivation to go to school. I kept on thinking about Sanghyun and his new girlfriend, something that I considered had nothing to do with my life, but it was there, a constant thought haunting me. I kept on repeating to myself that there was not a reason for me to keep on thinking about it, but, nevertheless, that's all I do. And still do, lying on a bench in the sunlight outside, in front of the school. Guys were playing soccer and had offered me to play, but, much different from the usual me, I refused, saying that I was not in the mood to play, aka 'I'm tired' kind of thing. They understood and didn't insist, considering my dark circles, but I still said I would play another time, when I'd feel 'better'. 

"Hey you ok?" It was a girl. She looked down over me, but the sunlight blinded my eyes so I only saw her shadow.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled, like I always tried to at school. Things go a lot easier when I smile, so I do. I brought my hand over my face to shade my eyes.

"You don't seem too well. What's bothering you?" she asked.

    Not really your business, and I don't want to talk about it, I refrained myself from saying. This girl was seriously starting to get on my nerves with her insisting.

"No really I'm fine," I replied.

"Did you know Park Sanghyun had a new girlfriend?"

   Yeah I do, but please don't talk about it. That's what's bothering me...

"Oh really? He did?" I asked with much enthousiam and surprise.

"Yeah he did," she said. "I didn't think he was the type to love someone back. It's very surprising."

"I suppose..."

"I wonder if his family knows..."

   I nodded, not too certain of what to reply. But the waitress didn't seem to know yesterday. If she did, I would expect her to see the girlfriend rather than I.

"I don't think his sister would appreciate him having a girlfriend. Anyway, bye!" She left, running away to the school's main doors.

    What a strange meeting. But it truly left me wondering. Would Sanghyun's sister like to know that he has a girlfriend? Or is this like the secret love dramaturgy that I know very little about? I remember Sanghyun said this 'love' was like an arranged marriage. Then could it be that the waitress 'arrange' this couple? I laughed by myself. Who am I kidding? We're not even in that kind of era...

    I thought of the scene once more, the hug and the kiss that drove me insane. I could not point out exactly what bothered me. Was it the skinship? the cheesiness? Why did I feel like I should not have been there? It all made no sense to me. It bothered me to the point I was powerless in front of my imagination. What if I was bothered by the fact that they were together now? What if I'd be happy if they broke up? What if I knew something worng was going to happen to them and to me as well? What if I felt involved in all this? What if I will be the one getting hurt in the end?

    The thought of being entangled in all this was unbelievable. It's the first time ever I've thought of bumping into someone else's business. The waitress and the girl all confused me. It was all frustrating me. I promised to take care a guy who's probably happy as hell with his girlfriend. I don't see why I have to do anything.

"I didn't think he was the type to love someone back..." I remembered the girl say. I recalled how Sanghyun seemed so innocent about love. To have someone like me teach him about life, love and cellphones, he seemed to have an attachment to me, and weirdly, I have a attachment to him as well. I mean, he could have asked his sister, and I could've simply said no to helping him and acted like a complete stranger to him. But I didn't and he didn't. It was almost as if I was the only one he knew. 

   But no. That can't be it. He had a friend, someone whom he knew much longer than I. That friend to whom I don't have much attachment. I felt she was insincere to Sanghyun. But if he likes that kind of person, I can't help it.

   Or can I? When I think of that girl, I can't help but feel she fits the figure I saw Sanghyun was with. I believe it was her. I shook my head. I couldn't believe that Sanghyun would like that kind of girl. I felt angry all of a sudden. I didn't like that girl. Never did when I saw her. Is that the kind of person Sanghyun likes? A cute, lively, little girl... Well, obviously he wouldn't like a guy like me... wait what?

    Damn, what am I thinking? Something is wrong with me. I don't like guys, do I? No! That would be throwing my reputation, my familly, my life all in the thrash... I felt frustrated with myself. There was no way... I've never loved anyone in my life... I'm probably just imagining things.

:: Cheondung's P.O.V. ::

   I went to class early, like I always did. Every school day, I would sneak to my desk and relax while no one is there, when it was very early in the morning for the average student. However, I saw someone sitting down on his desk, his hands supporting his head as he was looking down. A lone figure reflecting the scarce sunlight from outside. I recognized his hair, his shoulders and hands. It was Seungho.

"Seungho-ssi," I said. "Good-"

"What do you want?" he said, lifting his head and staring at me with bloodshot eyes. I remembered those eyes. The memory was inevitable. I remember. It was the same pair of eyes the young lord would have when he was angry and frustrated. They were the eyes that would shake up the whole household and silence the whole family. They were the orbs I never wanted him to ever have again. Something was wrong. But what could I do?

  I advanced to him, and lifted his face for him to look at me straight in the eyes. His eyes were the same as I remebered. He was - there was no other way to put it - worn out. He looked awful, but why? He averted his eyes that were now glimmering because of the sunlight from the window, after having looked  into my worried eyes. I carressed his face and pushed away the hair from his eyes, but he pushed me away.

"What the hell are you doing?" he growled, staring at me.

"I just-" What should I say?

"Sanghyun!" The lights were and Jieun's voice broke the silence.

   Seungho reflexively covered his eyes with his hair.

"Hey, what are you doing here all sneakily?" she asked. She slid her arms to hold my left one and brought her body against me. She then looked at my awkward self and smiled. I awkwardly tried to smile as well. "Mind if I join you guys?" she asked.

"I don't care because I'm leaving," Seungho stated. He stood up and started his leave. His eyes passed my gaze only to avoid it, and he went away.

"Seung-"

"What's wrong with him I wonder?" Jieun said as she held me back. "What were you guys talking about?" she asked as she smiled.

   I looked back at her and slid my arm out of her grasp. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I just held your arm," she said. "Just like we always did in the past as friends."

"We did?"

"Of course we did."

"But that kind of position gives an awkward impression to others."

"Does it?" she said as she haughtily grinned at me. I looked at her with worried eyes. I was worried for Seungho. Seeing this, she stopped smiling. "I don't see why we can't express our friendship."

"But that kind of pose doesn't seem to be for friends. More like... lovers?"

"I already told you my feelings for you didn't I?"

"But..."

Flashback

Jieun brought my face closer to hers. She stopped when our noses touched and leaned forward. But I turned my face to the right, avoiding her. There I saw the figure a lot clearer. It was Seungho, walking away from the sunlight and towards the shadows. I saw him getting farther and farther, not once looking back.

"Jieun, I..." I started. "I'm not sure if I feel the same."

   She remained silent. 

"Maybe I just need the time..." I was cut off by the incoherent voice that I was still hearing in my head. Soon, I felt dizzy. "I'm sorry Jieun... Just give me the time."

"Ok..." she reluctantly said. "You've really changed Sanghyun, haven't you?" she chuckled.

"Don't worry..." she moved away and continued. "But what if making you fall in love with me isn't as easy as I thought?" she laughed and quickly calmed down. 

...

Who's that person?    The voice appeared once more.

"What do you mean who's that person? Who are you?"

    The voice didn't answer back. I lied down on my bed after a long day of school. I was so tired. It's been a while since I've talked to Seungho. He's been avoiding me, and I've been too scared to approach him because I didn't know what to say. I wanted to talk to him, but, being a noob at communication, I thought that that wasn't the greatest solution. I didn't what to do. It was the same situation as my anterior life : I felt useless.

    The point of all this was that I should bring happiness to him. Seeing his eyes once more made me realize that he's been hiding things for himself all this time. He was lonely that day at school, and he didn't have anyone to talk to. How can I help him?

   I looked at the plain ceiling before me. It was dark. I should probably go to sleep now. I too felt lonely. I hid to the darkest place in my mind, hoping to escape to dreamland without encountering weird dreams again. I tried to think of nothing and focus on my breathing. Sinking myself into the fluffy bed, I imagined warmth gathering around me, holding me tight. The nostalgic feeling of his hug came to me. It almost felt too perfect to be true, his arms strongly cuddling me, to a point where I'd be completely engulfed in his scent. Slowly, I fell deeply into obscurity and slept in his arms.

   The next day, I woke up, my body feeling incredibly numb. I hadn't done anything very tiring yesterday, neither did I sleep late. It was all very strange. I looked at the clock. Yikes! I'm going to be late for school!

   So I rushed all throughout the morning. I can't believe I forgot to put my alarm. Or did I sleep through it? Oh well, I just can't afford to be late now! I checked if I forgot anything in Sanghyun's room. All I saw was the journal opened on the desk. I didn't have time to go and put it back properly in its place, so I didn't bother cleaning it up. It doesn't matter really, because Dara will only come back home after me, so she's not going to see what's written. So I left in a rush, and went to school.

    I ran as fast as I could to not miss the bus. I arrived luckily just in time. I boarded it, and sat to recuperate. I was tired and confortably leaned my body against the seat. I breathed heavily and rested for a while.

    I thought of what I could have forgotten at home, but all thought of was the journal. I hoped it wasn't going to get dirty or something when I come back home. But why was it opened? I didn't do anything with it for a week at least. Why was it opened on the desk?