"Now you don't seem to know the language at all," said Jieun. "What happened during these past years?"

    I could not answer the question. At that time, I was struggling by myself, asking myself if it was better to avoid the question or tell a lie. Telling to truth was obviously not an option, considering it was my life on the line. I was too scared to actually say the wrong thing but I also feared escaping my fate, so I figured that if I told what "really" happened, no lie will be able to hinder me after a while.

"Well, I guess I should tell you," I decided to admit... since she is my friend. "Two years ago... I've..."

    Suddenly, the impulse I had vanished. It was maybe from a lack of trust. I really didn't know what was best to do. But Sanghyun trusts Jieun. That's right. She might help me through this. Furthermore, I can't continue hiding everything from her. She is my friend.

"You ok Sanghyun?" she asked, worried. "What do you want to tell me?"

"I... I've been in a car accident, back in Seoul." Hoping it was the better solution, I put aside all my worries. She did not even seem to understand where I was getting at though. "What I meant to say is... I forgot everything. All I remembered the day I woke up was Dara."

    She didn't react, or maybe she did not know how to react. "Then... that's why you didn't recognize me?"

    I nodded. "But after that night we met next to the bus stop, I remembered your name and the day we met," I explained; my answer was based completely on what I had read a few days ago.

"Do you remember anything other than that? Do you know anyone else?"

    I shook my head hesistantly. Her questions had taken me aback.

"Well, don't worry Sanghyun! Just stick with me, and we'll trace back your memories!" she exclaimed joyfully.

    I nodded. If I believe in Sanghyun, I should believe in her too.

Right?

    After lunch, I went back to class with Jieun. While she seemed happier than ever, I remained perplexed. I didn't bother asking myself why, thinking I would come to realize the cause and regret my past actions. There was probably a good reason as to why she was happy, and maybe I had to be happy as well. Maybe she was happy that I had to rely on her from now on.

     It was history class, and I remembered that, in the journal, Sanghyun disliked that subject. I supposed it was going to be easy being Sanghyun on this one, because I really didn't know much about Korea's history. Little did I know about any subject, actually. I'll have to learn from someone. Dara perhaps? But she's also busy. Her schedule doesn't quite match with mine. Then who?

     That was when, during class, I felt a scene replay in my mind.

"Hey, wanna be partners?" It was a bright voice, I admit, but it wasn't not the one I wanted to hear. At that time, the person I longed for seemed too out of my reach.

"Hey Sanghyun!" Jieun repeated. Her voice, a little annoyed, rang a bell in my head. She sighed. "It reminds of the past when I had to call you twice to pop your bubble... But hey, you want to be partners?"

"Euh... sure, I guess."

"Alright! Maybe if we worked together you would remember the past, right?" she said, as if she was trying to convince me.

"I suppose," I replied.

    Jieun and I seperated the task for the project before class had ended. I knew nothing about the topic so I let Jieun decide on what she wanted to do. I decided to deal with the work I was given.

    That afternoon, I went home walking. The bus seemed so crowded inside that I reasoned it would be better if I walked. I thought of this as a good way to observe my surroundings and to learn a bit more. Luckily, it wasn't too cold.

    As I came home, Dara was there, preparing food. "Hi Sanghyun," she said. "Had a good day?"

"I guess I did," I replied, absent minded. "I'm going to my room. Just call me when you're going to eat."

"Ah, sure," she said, a little confused by the way I was acting.

    I went to the desk, and searched English exercise books. To my surprise, there were many of them written in the language I was looking for. I looked through them, and figured it would be a great opportunity to learn the language.

   I became so engulfed into what I learned that I even took my food and ate in my room. Because of this, I didn't realize how time flew so fast, and I didn't bother looking outside to see the change of light. I was a fast learner, and managed to understand the basic rules that night. I even asked Dara to talk with me; the excuse was that I haven't spoken the language for a long time. It didn't bother her at all - which was a great thing - and she thought of it as some way to rejoice being a family.

"So how was your day today?" she asked. "I mean, it was your first day of school today in Anyang."

"It was fine," I replied. "It wasn't as bad as I thought."

"No? Not too hard?" she chuckled. "I'm just kidding. It was just the first day. It shouldn't be bad from the start!"

"You're right."

"Did you make new friends?" It seemed like a touchy subject from now on.

"Not really..." I said. "But I did met people I already knew."

"Like who?"

    Should I tell her? I remember that time when we talked about Jieun...

"I met... eum... that friend I visited before."

"Who?"

"Yang Seungho."

"Oh... you mean the friend you met instead of Jieun."

"Yeah."

"So he's in the same school?"

"He is." The conversation was pretty awkward since it reminded both of us of the scolding and all.

"Well, it's getting pretty late," said Dara in Korean. "You better sleep early today."

"Okay," I got off the couch and said : "Goodnight Dara."

"Have nice dreams!" she said.

    I was pretty proud of myself, considering I knew nothing of English, but I was more proud of Sanghyun. It was weird. It was as if Sanghyun's habits were still lingering in his body. His own reflexes were maybe almost gone, but some of them were barely living through this. A little too excited by my accomplishment, I had no motive to sleep. I figured I should look through what's on the desk and, who knows? Maybe I would find something useful.

    And I did, in a way. I studied what subjects Sanghyun had learned in the past through the textbooks. Some subjects were boring, some I considered important, and some were just amusing to read. That was basically how I had spent the night. I made a mess on the table, so I decided it was better to organize all of it before I went to sleep. As I reorganized the shelves, I stumbled across the journal and figured that I could read it, lying on my bed while patiently gaining the momentum to sleep. So I closed the main light and opened the smaller one next to the bed. I installed myself comfortably, and opened the book.

Dear journal,

         Today, Jieun told me she hasn't started her part on the history project and there are only two days before the day we have to give it back. I didn't mind though. I promised her I would help her with whatever she needed. ^^ [...]

Huh? This reminded of something... I remained confused, but I decided to read another entry.

Dear journal,

          Jieun and I worked together on the project. It wasn't how I expeced though. But I guess it was fun. Jieun whined a little while working, but it didn't bother me that much. I mean, we still got the work done. It was fun together, the way she smiled, the way she was fine with whatever I did. She encouraged me a lot when we worked. I did much more work than she did, but overall, she kept a bright personality. Maybe if we fooled around less, we would've finished sooner. We probably wouldn't have worked on it last minute. [...]

But doesn't that mean that Jieun had not worked much and still got the grade to pass? Why does Sanghyun tolerate her like that? It slightly bothered me because I will likely have to pass through this too. Trying to escape that thought, I continued reading. I believed that it would change the feeling of doubt I had for Jieun into what Sanghyun truly feels for her. So I read and read. I felt like I had travelled through time, witnessing Sanghyun's evolution through every word. Unfortunately for me, this development did not take the positive turn for my present self. it was far from what I expected.

Dear journal...

            It’s been a month since I met her…

            I think…

            I like her…

            I love her… Should I confess to her?

            How will she react? No… I don’t believe she would… accept?

            How will you react, Jieun?

Dara, if you’re reading this, you are so DEAD!!! D:<

What?! Love? JIEUN?

But then why is Jieun still seeing me as a friend? He probably did not confess yet.

   I closed the book and quickly put it on the floor near the bed.

   Sanghyun, I thought you wanted a friend, now you want a lover? What am I supposed to do?

    I cuddled myself into a ball like the foetus's position I saw in the textbook and tried to hide deeper within the blanket. I was scared. I didn't know what to do. If Sanghyun wishes happiness then... I have to accomplish this? I didn't know what to do.

    I tried to wash away my worries by sleeping, something that was utterly difficult that day. I closed my eyes hoping to escape to dream land.

"Seungho..." I caught myself hearing my voice call his name almost like a breath. His name suddenly came to me, as I thought of how dreary it was to live this mission all alone. I sighed.

    A lonely soul as I...