I was thinking of bursting out laughing because maybe he’s pulling a prank on me but something about the way he’s looking at me made me realize he’s dead serious.

“Are you serious?” I asked him carefully.

Jongin sighed heavily and nodded his head dolefully.

“Wha—How?” I stammered. I stood up from my seat, trying not to freak out but doing a very bad job at it. “A few days ago, you just told me being a performer is the only thing you’ve always wanted to do and now you’re telling me you’re not a trainee anymore?!”

“Don’t yell, okay?” Jongin hissed at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me back towards my seat. “I haven’t told anyone yet but you.”

I raised my brows at him in disbelief. “Oh my God, are you telling me that we’re keeping this as a secret?”

“Not for long.” he said, “Besides, no secret has been safe in this school.”

“You’re actually right.” I agreed rather halfheartedly. Then I turned to him. “Jongin, what happened? Is it…because of your mom?” I asked him hesitantly.

“No.” he said, stretching out his arms, “Like I said, I haven’t told anyone about this but you. Besides, if mom finds out I’m sure she’ll be jumping in delight.” he said tonelessly.

I was about to ask him more when my cell buzzed again. It was Dae Hyun again, of course. I decided to sent him a message, saying something came up and I’ll take rain check for our meeting.

“Is it your mom?” I heard Jongin asking as I pressed the SEND button.

I glanced up to see him looking at me. “No…” I said, pocketing my cell. “I mean, yes.” Why am I lying to him? I thought. “She was just asking if I’m going to visit my Aunt.”

“Do you have to go now?” Jongin asked rather timidly.

“Not yet.” I said because I felt like he doesn’t want me to go yet and because I didn’t want to go yet. “So, tell me what happened. Why aren’t you a trainee anymore?”

Jongin shifted on his seat. “It’s been over two weeks since I dropped out.” he said, ruffling the top of his head. “I’ve had problems about my agency ever since they told me I’ll be debuting soon. They gave me tons of training sessions but that’s not the problem really, I wouldn't mind even if they asked me to dance for hours after hours in the practice room.” he paused for a while.

“Then what is it?” I asked, ignoring my quivering cell inside my pocket.

“When I started attending the preparations of my debut along with my group, I realized I wasn’t up for a life of a celebrity.” Jongin said. “They wanted me to act in a certain way, say certain things and stuff like that. At first, I thought I’d be able to handle it because I’d still be able to do the thing I love the most but as the time passes I realized…I just can’t.” he sighed heavily, he was clenching and unclenching his fists. “I tried to imagine myself in years and see myself being someone I’m not.” he turned and looked at me straight in the eyes. “I just don’t think I can do that.” he said, miserably.

And I fought every fiber in my being to not put my arms around him. He looked so miserable and heartbroken and I knew his decision to leave his company wasn’t an easy one.

“Did you ever tell them how that makes you feel?” I asked instead.

“Yeah.” he said, “But they’re like my mom. They can hear me talking but they’re not really listening to what I’m saying.”

Unconsciously, I scooted towards him, making Jongin stare at me. “But you’re still going to dance, right?” I asked him a little worriedly. “You’re still going to be a performer?”

“Of course.” he said, smiling slowly. “I’ll find a way to make that happen.”

I smiled back at him. “Oh!” I sputtered when I suddenly remembered something. Jongin flinched a little in my reaction.

“What?” he asked, looking at me curiously.

“I just remembered something.” I said, getting on my feet. “And I almost forgot about it!”

“What are you sayi—” Jongin started but he didn’t finish when I grabbed his arm and pulled him off his seat.

“Come on! I’ll show you something!” I said, as I dragged him out of the room.

“Wait!” Jongin said, chuckling. “I’ll get my things first.” he said and then he pulled himself off my grasps and went back to the bench and grabbed his things.

After a few moments, we both went downstairs at the locker area. Jongin stood beside me as I key in my locker combination and opened my locker. I took out a box and handed it to him with a smile.

“What’s this?” he asked me, as he reluctantly took the box from my hand.

“Just open it.” I said.

Jongin opened the box and arched his brows. “A cupcake?”

“A chocolate cupcake.” I corrected him as I closed my locker. “One of the advisors of our school newspaper team was impressed with our recent publication so she gave every staff two boxes of cupcakes.”

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