“Can’t.” I said flatly as I turned my back on her. “I’m busy. Exams are coming.” I added, gripping my pen harder.

“Fine.” she sighed. I heard her footsteps approaching and then she placed an envelope on top of my stacked books. “I’ll reschedule it.”

I shifted my gaze from the envelope she placed on top of my table to her face. “What?” I croaked.

“You must see your dad.” mom insisted, looking at me rather firmly. She patted the envelope on my table which I took a quick glance at. “This is your last tuition for your senior year. You must thank him personally. Young Soo and I will go with you.”

“I’m not going to meet him, mom.” I sputtered, holding back my growing frustration. “I’ll just give him a call or something.”

In a split moment, mom slammed her palm on top my table so hard, making me flinch. “We will go and meet your dad whether you like or not!” she roared at me, her eyes glinting furiously at me. “If I have to drag you out of this house, I will!” she fixed me a stern look for a brief moment and then she heaved a deep sigh. “I’ll send your dad a message and we’ll meet him after your exams.” she said and then she gave me one last look and left my bedroom.

I was left glaring at the envelop she left on top of my table. I grabbed it and crossly stuffed it inside my desk drawer. “I’m not going to meet him.” I muttered feverishly.

After a few days, I still have no desire to talk to mom after what happened. Exams week had finally arrived and I was feeling extremely anxious. I haven’t been able to concentrate on studying. If it wasn’t for Jongin, I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to finish reviewing our notes. He’s been very helpful in making me focus my attention and not let my head wander around. I had this impression that he’s been noticing me thinking hard these past few days so I try, as much as possible, especially when I’m with him, to put on an “okay” face. The last thing I want him to do is to worry about me.

A few days before the end of exams week, I walked past mom’s bedroom and overheard her conversation with dad. She was confirming our dinner with him and she was telling dad how eager Young Soo and I to meet him again. When I went back to my bedroom, I realized that mom has been raising her hopes again in having dad come back to us. But that’s not going to happen. If dad really wants to go back, he would’ve done that a long time ago. If he truly cares about us, he wouldn’t leave us in the first place. Why can’t mom see that?!

I walked across my room and picked up the envelope mom gave me a few days ago. I need to stop this. I knew I had to, otherwise, this will just end really badly for all of us. I came up with an idea on how to do just that. I hated to see him but I have to and I promised myself that it’s going to be the last time I’ll see him.

At school the next day, we were all hanging out by the courtyard after the grueling exams. Most of the students were now buzzing on how relieving it was that exams week is finally over. Baekhyun, Yixing and Sehun were one of them. They broke into their stories on how horrendously difficult their exams. Meanwhile, Jongin, who’s sitting beside me, nudged my shoulder.

“How were your exams?” he asked me quietly as he peered into my eyes.

“Okay, I guess.” I answered and I had no idea why were whispering. But I find it cute so I went with the flow. “You?”

“My practical exams were all right.” he said. Obliviously, he reached forward and softly brush the stray hair out of my face. “But written exams? Just an okay. But I think that History essay killed my hopes.”

“You’ll be fine.” I said, chuckling.

Jongin laughed a little, too. He took quick glance at our friends who’re still busy sharing their horrifying experiences during the exam. Sehun was now sharing the story on how he and his classmates exchanged their test papers to memorize each other’s answers and how impressed he was with himself.

“I was going to ask you out on a date after school today because we haven’t had out first date yet.” Jongin whispered to me. I thought about what he said and he was actually correct. “But I can’t today because my dance teacher asked me to stay after school.” he said, looking at me apologetically. “I asked him to help me with my audition piece. Is it okay if we have our first date some other time?”

“Of course.” I said and smiling at him genuinely. “I was actually going…somewhere.”

Jongin arched his brows. “Somewhere?” he echoed. “You’re not going to find a proxy date, are you?” he joked.

“Don’t be silly.” I chortled, pushing him off lightly. “I’m going to accompany aunt Sora for her check up.”

He smiled at me, then. The kind that reaches his eyes and almost making me want to smile back at him. And I did. “I miss that.” he said softly.

“What is?”

“Your smile.” he said, glancing at my lips. “You haven’t been smiling for the past few days.”

I was a bit surprised and moved that he noticed even that. “It’s because exam week had effectively drained my spirits.” I said, hoping he’d buy it.

“I know something that will lift your spirits up.” Jongin said, his eyes lighting up. “I’ll show it to you one of these days.”

“Okay.” I said, finding him so charming when he’s excited.

After school, Jongin and I were not able to meet. After our meeting at the courtyard, I reminded him to not push himself too hard during his practice. I was also able to share what’s been happening at home with Min Jee. I told her about my plan and she offered to come with me. I know she have a lot on her plate lately so I told her I’ll be fine and that I’ll call if anything happens.

After forty five minutes, the bus finally halted to stop. I got off the bus and checked the mini map I drew a few days ago. After walking around for five minutes and asking strangers where exactly the building I was looking for, I finally spotted it. It was a tall, glass building, almost like a duplicate of those posh corporate buildings in the movies.

I took a deep breath as I clutched my skirt’s pocket where I stuffed the envelope. I walked inside and headed straight to the elevator, I punched in the floor where I’m headed and hope that my dad’s office was still located there. It felt a bit foreign for me being here even though when I was a kid, I used to go here. Dad used to bring me here when mom was pregnant with Young Soo. I had no idea their marriage was slowly falling apart during those times.

The elevator doors opened and, hesitantly, I stepped outside. I looked around and spotted a desk adjacent to a mahogany double doors. That’s the door, I thought. I remembered it so well.

I took another deep breath and walked towards the desk where a petite but pretty woman was busy typing on her computer. She wasn’t my dad’s secretary as far as I could remember. Maybe the secretary I’ve known resigned or got slacked. This secretary, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to notice me so I cleared my throat.