Chapter 46

Never Let Me Go
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I felt like I was on auto pilot. I had spent the bus ride staring blankly outside the window—breathing in, breathing out. My heart beat managed to slow down to its normal rhythm but I felt like a part of my brain was left from the moment happened almost an hour ago. I stopped by at Spines to get Young Soo who launched on his story about his classmate accidentally swallowing a glue. I acknowledged him with a smile and a nod every once in a while as we took the trip home.

When we arrived, I got distracted from my thoughts when we found mom lying on the kitchen floor. She said she’s been having a bad backache and cramps the whole day. Young Soo looked anxious when mom started to wail in pain, clutching the small of her back. I was trying to remain calm because I knew panicking wouldn’t help the situation but I didn’t know what to do. From the way mom was howling, I don’t think any medicine from our medicine cabinet could help her so in instinct, I helped her up. I supported mom as we walked out of the house. Meanwhile, Young Soo was already outside, he opened the backseat’s door.

Is he expecting me to drive? I thought as I made my way, along with mom, towards the car tentatively.

I glanced at mom, she was still and her face was all scrunched up from pain. After giving it a thought, I convinced myself that maybe driving was really required tonight. I settled mom on the back seat with Young Soo. Then, I climbed to the driver’s seat, my palms were already starting to get sweat as I gripped the steering wheel.

“You know how to drive, right?” Young Soo asked, from the back seat.

I looked at the rearview mirror and caught his gaze. “Yes.” I answered him, apprehensively. I knew how to drive, thanks to Daehyun’s older brother. When we’re still going out, he taught me the basics of driving and actually let me drive his car. I got the hang of it pretty quick and find it really fun until Daehyun told me to not get behind the wheel anymore.

I looked back at Young Soo. “But I don’t have a license.” I told him. Young Soo shrugged his small shoulders as if to say, ‘So what?’. “Don’t say a word.” I added to him firmly.

Young Soo nodded his head earnestly and I gunned the engine, somehow drowning mom’s seemingly never-ending wailing.

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The emergency room was quite busy when we arrived, nonetheless, there were nurses who attended my mom. Mom was quite embarrassing, though. She kept on wailing as though she’s in labor or something. Young Soo and I waited by the sitting area while the nurses did some physical examination on mom. After a couple of minutes, one of the nurses called me, so I went behind one of those stalls divided by curtains.

Mom was lying on a bed with a doctor asking her some questions. When the doctor saw me, she directed her questions at me because mom wasn’t fully cooperative. I told her what happened and occasionally, mom filled in. She said she’s been having back aches recently and bad cramps. The doctor inspected her back, took notes on her clipboard and then she mumbled something to the nurse standing beside her. The nurse nodded and left the room. Then, the doctor turned to me and told me that they will run further tests on mom to figure out what exactly is going on with her after that the doctor left, leaving me and mom, who’s still wincing from pain.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I asked her. Mom didn’t respond and sobbed silently. I heaved a deep sigh and sat on the edge of the bed. “Mom, please talk to me.” I pleaded.

For a brief moment, I thought mom’s going to push me away again but she held my hand. “I’m so sorry, Hana.” she murmured in between her sobs. “I just…I just feel so useless…”

“You’re not.” I hushed her, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “You just have to pull yourself together. Young Soo and I will help you out. Does your back still hurt?”

Mom nodded her head silently as she wiped away her tears.

“What happened?” I asked, worriedly. “Did you fall or something?”

“I’m…not sure…” mom said rather distantly, as though she’s trying to remember.

“Do you want to talk to me…about something?” I was hoping she’d open up something about how she’s been doing or what’s going through her mind lately. We haven’t had a decent conversation or exchanged words since we had the fight. I felt guilty because I didn’t push myself to make up with her.

Mom shook her head as she sniffed. “Just go and rest.” she hiccupped, patting my hand gently. “You and Young Soo. I want to stay here tonight. Is that okay?” she asked me, her bloodshot eyes staring at me.

“Of course.” I said softly. “I’ll be back tomorrow. After school. You take a rest, okay?”

Mom nodded again and I kissed the top of her head just in time for the nurse to arrive. I told her that my mom wants to be admitted and then after taking my mom’s vital signs for the second time, she led me out to process my mom’s admission to the hospital.

I explained to Young Soo that mom will be spending the night at the hospital so the doctors could take good care of her. We ate dinner, he helped me out with the dishes and then I tucked him into his bed. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I felt like my head was spinning and pounding against my skull. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. Then, I went to my room and washed my face in the bathroom sink. Jongin’s voice rang in my ears and his expression burned a hole inside my mind.

“He’s just…” I started, staring at my reflection on the mirror. “Jongin got carried away. Yes. That’s it. He got carried away that’s why he said those three words.” I reassured

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missribbons
12/06: Yay! You guys got this featured! Thank you so much sweethearts ♡

Comments

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Baekhyunsoul
#1
Chapter 4: Welll….. does Min Jee have a drinking problem?
Baekhyunsoul
#2
Chapter 3: I’m so curious to find out what’s next- and I’m lowkey worried for Min Jee. What a bum that guy is
AiiSoo #3
Chapter 55: I just recently found out about this story and I am very grateful that someone recommended this. This is a really good read. I love your writing here. I just wish that I read this sooner. Well, better late than never
dreamshun
1813 streak #4
Chapter 4: hana almost had them for a moment shsjsk
dreamshun
1813 streak #5
Chapter 3: Jino is such a jerk
dreamshun
1813 streak #6
Chapter 1: Baekhyun is a nice friend hehe
Also, jongin is such a heartthrob!
JeMerald #7
Chapter 55: I was looking for the story about a bookworm and Kai, and realized in like the first five chapters that this wasn't the one, BUT i couldn't skip rereading this story TT. I can't believe i read this story at different moments/phases in my life and it always always always drowns me in so much emotions.
Pxnellyxq #8
Chapter 47: Communication is the key
KimHyeJoo #9
Chapter 55: Aw this is so gold!!
I keep crying at the chapters near the last tho, that’s so depressing i can’t help it

Thanks for sharing this story!! :)