DARA's POV

It's been what?.., almost a month now away from everyone. One month of being alone, crying, and still in pain. I thought I can deal with the sadness on my own but still why can't I move on?? Why can't I forget him. How do I live with this pain?? How??

This is so unfair!! Why did I fall in love if I am not going to be loved back? Why do I go through all of this when all I wanted is to be happy, to be loved, to be taken care of. It's me right?! It's me who wanted this. It's me who wanted everything even the pain.

I missed all of them, my parents, my friends, my brother, and my best friend.

"Everyone, please be safe, be healthy, and continue to live, I'm sorry everyone"

Just that last thought, I then felt my lids closed as I embraced another painful night of being alone with teardrops on my pillow.

______________________________________

"Sandara??"

She heard voices outside her little- small ugly dorm. As much as she doesn't want to wake up, as in forever but she needs to. She need to work just to pay for all her expenses while staying in the Philippines.

She sat up on her bed and quickly went to her own bathroom. She brushed her teeth that lasted for a minute and put on her uniform.

She stopped going to school now. After quitting the semester, she never wanted to study anymore. And now that she's too far from everyone, she has to work so that she can manage to live and pay all her bills while staying in a foreign country even though she has the black card with her. But thinking that she needs to start anew, she has to keep the card and just use her hands to make money not even asking for help. Well, how could she ask for help if she's miles away from her family and friends. Right?

"Wait a moment Jor's" She shouted, walking here and there, grabbing her things here and there for she is already late.

Dara's living just at the attic of her work place. She's working as a waitress on a small chinese food chain somewhere in Tondo Manila. Even though her salary for a month was like her money for snacks back then but still she managed to live with it and it's enough for her expenses.

They were only four helpers on that specific food chain she is working. 1 guy and 3 girls. The first day she arrived at the country, she stayed at a hotel but the hotel room just gave her much much more time to cry alone and so she walked and walked around the place (Manila) not knowing where she'll go but ended up meeting an old chinese lady and offer her a job. The old lady saw the sadness in her eyes and without words she bluntly told Dara that she needed the job if she wants to start anew even though she doesn't even know what Dara went through these past few months.

Now that she's trying to live all by herself she accepted the job but it's like she was a robot with no owner. Everything that was asked for her to do she'll do it. Even some bastards who asked for her time and body she would always say yes. Everytime their y customers treat her something like a trash still she'll apologize to things she didn't even do, ended up being laughed at by those morons. Everytime it happens, she's always doing it with a smile. It's like her body doesn't even know what to feel anymore. If she needed to laugh she'll cry, If she needed to apologize she'll walked out, if she needed to cry she'll laugh, if she needed to move on still she can't. Everything is in a mess now. Thanks to her 3 friends who was always there for her, helping her if someone's bullying her for being such a stupid alien in that country, punching those disgusting bastards whom was harassing her. All of them stayed by Dara's side even though Dara don't even know how to thank them.

She has difficulties working as a waitress, but of course, she doesn't even know how to wash her own plate. Everything was too difficult for her but as time goes by, shes learning even more.

She's now trying to move on. It's been 2 months already and it's as if a new Dara arrived. There are still difficulty communicating with people for the country has a different language but at least the people understand english, so does she.

She now opened her door and went downstairs with a smile.

"Good morning everyone" Dara clapped her hand and went to the counter and get the order list and a pen.

"Good morning Sandara, Looks like you got a good sleep huh?? Hugry?" Joross who called her a while ago smiled back at her.

"Yeah, thanks for the green mangoes you brought last night for me" she winked and hugged him briefly.

"No need, it's your favorite anyway and I just passed a lady selling those. You just have to pay for it, it's not free you know" The guy chuckled. The two girls laughed at Dara.

"Awww, I thought you gave that for free, you're so mean" Dara began to slapped his arms.

"Don't mind her Sandy, he really bought that to earn a points to your heart" Roxanne from one of the girls rolled her eyes and put on a pen on her shirt pocket.

"Yeah right" Michelle whose standing in front of the mirror while combing her hair and put it in a messy but cute bun chuckled and gave Dara a wink.

Didn't even know what they are talking, Dara laughed as well. "Ohh fine, I'll buy green mangoes as well for my payment. kkkkkk" Dara chuckled and the two girls joined her.

"That's right, don't pay him money, pay him with mangoes as well hahaha" Roxanne laughed out loud and began to unlock the door of that little resto.

"I don't need mangoes.. I need your love" he said with a serious face. Dara then placed her palm on his face and pushed him back that he tumbled and laughed. "fine I'm joking alright!!"

"Serves him right" Michelle went to the counter and checked everything.

Dara went to the locker area and open her locker. When the lid flew open and a mirror was on it, she saw her face with a smile on her lips. Seeing it, a tear escaped her eyes without even removing the smile from . How could she smile and laughed with her new friends when all her mind is set at the different country. Asking herself if her friends happy as well without her there? Is GD marrying Kiko now? Is Bom thinking of her? Are they smiling like her? but it's not as if shes smiling because she's happy, she's smiling because she needs to.

"Sandy, What takes you so long? we have our first customer now" Roxanne shouted from outside the locker room that made Dara blinked the tears away, wiping the leak of her tears on her cheeks and chin.

She faced the mirror once again and smiled. This is another day living this ty world.

She walked her way towards the first customer and got his order with a smile. trying to look as if she's happier than she looks like but inside of her she's crying so much in loneliness, missing everyone, missing this specific guy she wanted to forget but his name still roams around her brain.

Jiyong, are you happy now?

____________________________________

A week had past and of course she's drowning herself with tons of work to do. A waiter from 10am- 7pm, and work as a cashier on a 24 hour store from 8pm- 3am, and working as a translator of a manga online from 3am-5am early in the morning and sleeps at 6am just to wake up at 9:30am. She's doing everything she can just to earn money and found out that it's so hard to earn money but the way she lived her life before she ended up like this, she's just wasting money for she has lots of it.

Dara never even felt tired in fact, she's loving the way shes living her life right now. But no matter how she busied herself with those tiring work still she can't totally forget those things and people she really wanted to forget.

She shoud be moving on now right? The people she left in her own country must be forgotten slowly right? But everyday she wakes up, their faces and their names were still on her mind. Missing them more and more and much much more. She's so stupid for not moving on until now.

It's already 6 pm and it's time for her to finished her work for that small resto in about an hour but something happened.

She accidentally spilled a milk green tea on a sophisticated trying hard lady wearing a white sun dress even though it's raining outside.

"Ang putang ina naman ohh!! sira ulo ka ba??" (ohh mother er!! are you crazy?). The lady hissed and stood up in anger while flapping her fingers as if she was disgusted with the green fluid draining on her dress.

"I-I'm sorry ma'am, I-I'm really sorry" Dara bowed down but the lady grasp the collar of her uniform and pushed her down on the floor.

"So your english huh? What will your sorry do, can your sorry clean my dress huh?" The lady hissed in anger while Dara stood up and still bowed down and apologized.

"Why are you here in our country anyway you stupid alien!! you should go back to Korea where you belong to!! or are you running away from an unfinished business there and now your invading our country?? We don't need a stupid like you here!! get lost, or some boys out there to make a living if you cannot even work properly as a waitress here.. " the lady stomped her feet and pointed a finger on Dara's temples while pushing her tons of times.

Dara trembled in sadness. This girl is right. How could she invade other country and still make others life miserable? How could she let other people be a victim of her stupidness? She wanted to make a perfect life from now on but everytime she wanted to step forward, other people are affected.

Am I cursed? While loving my bestfriend I lost my friends as well. When I lost Jiyong, I lost everything. When I'm trying to be happy but still it's like there's someone pulling me out from that happiness and pulling me to sadness. What must I do to balance everything??

A tear wanted to escape her eyes but she won't let it fall. She just bowed down her head and offer her a towel.

"Hey it's you who tripped Sandy because your boyfriend's been glancing at her from the time you stepped in this place!" Joross, held Dara's shoulder to stop her from bowing.

"Joross, stop it!" Dara elbowed Joross softly but the guy tightened his hold on her shoulder.

"What?? I-I am not like that!!" The girl gave a guilty glance on her date in front of her and the guy gave her a glare.

"Is that tue?" The guy seating on the side asked.

"N-No!!... Well fine!! so what? it's because you're looking at her when I am talking to you.. You are my date you should look at me you..you.!!" the lady admits. Dara gasped and looked at the guy.

"What the hell??" The guy rolled his eyes and stood up with haste. "How could you do that to the poor girl? You know what?, she's worthy to be looked at rather than me looking at you. I've been dying to tell you this but.., let's break up. It's because you're like this everytime and I'm tired of it" The guy walked out while the girl held his arms but the guy shoved her hands away.

"Blen!! BLENNNN!!" The girl screamed but the guy didn't return. The lady looked at Dara intensely. Glaring with tears on her eyes, smudging her thick mascara and now was crying with black tears. "It's all because of you... You !! just get out of our country you stupid korean!" (a/n: I apologize about the term, but it's just a fanfic alright)

"Hey watch your mouth. You are the here not my friend. It's because of you that's why he broke up with you. Don't blame others!" Joross in and Dara trembled and bent down her head.

"I- I'm sorry ma'am. It's all my fault" Dara said and ignored Joross whose stopping Dara from apologizing more.

"!!" The girl left a bill on the top of her untouched soup and let the paper bill soaked there and ran away while crying loudly.

"Hey!!" Michelle ran to get the girl but Roxanne stopped her.

Dara on the other hand lost and another volt of pain rushed through her veins. He shoved Joross hand away from her shoulders.

"Sandy are you alright?" Without having any idea what was happening with her, he still smiled at her. He walked near her but to only receive a slap from Dara.

All the people gasped and looked at her even Roxanne went beside Joross while michelle went beside Dara.

"Sandy, what's going on??" Michelle asked Dara while patting her shoulders but Dara didn't even heard her. She was panting so hard in anger.

"What was that for?" Joross calmly said while placing his left palm on his swollen cheeks.

"How could you say that to the girl?? How could you in my own business?" She yelled.

"What did I say?? I just want to help you alright" Joross still calmly said.

"I don't need your help!! Damn you!! And now that couple broke up because of me, because you help me!! how should I react then?? Should I say thank you when those couple's relationship broken because of me??" Dara cannot control her tears anymore. Tears then escaped her eyes and it's the first time for all of them to see her tears. She was trying her best to keep her sadness for herself only but right now she can't keep it. It's too much for her to bare.

"I wanted to help you alright, and besides what I said are the truth. She's mean and so she tripped you. I just--"

"So what? I can handle it! you don't need to tell everything so bluntly without thinking the outcome. Damn you!!" She's sobbing already that made her friends realized that she's acting like this because of her past even though they do not have any idea what had happened to her. "Their relationship ended because of me. It's all about me!!!" Dara pushed Joross again but thanks to Roxanne whose standing beside Joross who helped him so that he won't fall.

"Wait Sandy!" Joross called out and was about to tail Dara after she walked away and went to the locker area but Michelle stopped him.

"Stop Jors" Michelle blocked his way and Joross stopped after he understand what is happening right now.

"I just want to help her, Was it wrong??" Joross bent his head and caressed his swollen cheeks.

"No Jors, it's the right thing to do. Maybe something happened in the past that's why Sandy's acting like that" Michelle whispered while looking at Roxanne who's eyes was on the locker door where Dara entered.

"I'll try talking to her" Being the eldest among the group. She went inside the room just to see Dara removing her uniform and grabbing her bag.

"Sandy, I know it's not the right time to ask this but I know something happened in the past. I'm willing to listen Dara. Joross just wanted to help you you know, but the way you acted it's as if somethings bothering you. The three of us are waiting for you to open up to us. I know this isn't the right time Sandy, but what happened??"

Dara suddenly frozen on her spot. Doesn't even know what to do and what to say. It's because everything that had happened a while ago felt so familiar to her. She should be calm now that it's been 2 months already but why is she crying? and worst why did all her painful memories returned.

Dara closed her locker and placed her sling bag hanging on the side of her body. She can't even looked at her friend's eyes.

Everything that happened was so familiar to her. It's like the girl from awhile ago was herself back then. She was like that back then. Whenever she saw Jiyong glancing on a girl he don't know, she'll secretly bully the girl until she'll quit school. She was being too possesive and ended up broken hearted, and it's because she became a . Acting so possesive when in fact their relationship is just bestrfriend to bestfriend. Maybe that is why all of this happened to her because she's mean, she's bad, she's a just like the girl a while ago. Her bestfriend left her because she's like that. The guy left the girl because she's like that.

I deserve this.. I know right!!

Dara walked backwards until she hit her back on the wall while tears continously flowing down her cheeks.

"T-The reason why I'm here in your country is because I wanted to be away from my friends, my family, and especially to the guy I dearly love just to forget everything that had happened. The girl from a while ago reminds me of what I am back there. I am like that girl, doing crazy deeds when we are jealous, doing y things so that we can earn our love ones attention. But then, I slowly lost him until such time that I totally lost him while I still try to in in his life again, not wanting to let go. Still I lost him, and my punishment for being so mean..., was loosing my friends as well.

"I want to move on Rox, that's why I left my country just to forget. I want to start a new life. I'm moving on now, but Joross in and now I'm --" Dara stopped after she recieved a hard slapped from the eldest, Roxanne.

"How could you Sandy?? How could you do that to the guy you love? why are you so mean to him? You should be punished Dara..., but not anymore now. I don't know what really happened but on what you just said, well, you are right, you are not far from the girl from a while ago. But Dara you are not like that anymore. You recieved enough punishment already, you don't need to punish yourself even more. The slap I gave you it's meant to wake you up. Girl, you are not moving on!! you are trying to make your life more miserable day by day" Roxanne placed his her hands on her waist while scolding Dara.

"What do you mean? I can smile now, I can laugh now, I can joke with you guys. How could you say that I wasn't moving on? I am moving on now" She can only mutter.

"If you really are moving on then how can you apologize to that girl from a while ago.. What Joross did was right. You yourself know the outcome of that bad deed but still you apologized even though the girl did a bad thing. If you really want to move on then start doing the right thing Dara. What would the guy felt if his girlfriend is always acting like that? Who would want a y girlfriend Sandy?? What you did in the past was really wrong but don't make another mistakes even if it's not about you but other people" Roxanne walked near her and placed her hand on her shoulder.

Yeah right?, what did Jiyong felt everytime I'm being a ??

She wiped the tears through the back of her hand and faced Roxanne. Everything that Roxanne had said was true. She's still not moving on. No matter how she wiped every tears that flowed on her cheeks, it's still there, she's still crying.

"I don't want to be a part of that familiar situation Rox, but it's me who broke that couples relationship. It's because of Joross. You don't understand what I went through Rox. You just don't know" She slapped Roxannes hand away from her shoulder and hid her face from the girl.

"Fine! I don't know Dara. But I know what is right from wrong. I know that you can distinguish the right and the wrong, the good and bad. But your past is stopping you. You are still blaming yourself Dara. Please stop blaming yourself and move on"

Move on? Dara asked herself. How can she moved on when every pain returned.

"No!! I can't, I can't now! I can't do it anymore Rox. It's still me... It's me!??"

"STOP it Dara!!" Roxanne shook her through her shoulders. A tear escaped Roxanne's eyes now that she's seeing Dara in so much pain. She doesn't know what to say anymore for Dara can't think properly right now. The pain in her heart overruled her mind now and it's difficult to heal.

"No!! you don't understand!!" She cried so loud almost screaming to let out the pain, clenching her fist that turned her knuckles to white.

Roxanne began to hug Dara, calming her and easing the trembles from Dara's body. "God, how can I help you?" Roxanne whispered near her ears.

She gasped and another thunder of pain strikes her dying heart.

"Help?? I don't need your help.. !! I don't need help forever!!" Dara pushed Roxanne away.

Everytime something happens like this, someone would reach for her and offer help. She should thank them but how can she help herself then? It must be herself, dealing this kind of problem. though She can't deal with it but she doesn't need any help from the others for she must find a way to help herself, all by herself.

She must end everything now. She's tired. It's the only way.

"Sandy!" Roxanne somehow began to have bad thoughts in her mind after what Dara had said.

"It really hurts Rox. So damn hurt. I can tolerate the bullying from that poor girl a while ago but Joross in." She sighed so deep and stood straight. "I don't want that girl to end up just like me, can't you understand that?"

Dara run away with her sling bag on her hand. She run so fast away from everyone. Bumping her shoulders to some random people on the street.

She have to end it. She wanted to be free from pain.

"Sandy wait!" Roxanne ran behind her but to her disappointment, Dara already went inside a cab and drove away.

"What happened??" Michelle asked Roxanne behind.

"You're right Mich, Something happened in the past that made Dara lost her control.. I'm afraid of what she'll do right now" Roxanne trembled and waited for another cab to pass by but sadly there was none.

"What do you mean?" Joross in.

"I don't know if what I have in mind is..uhmmm.. Oh god!! I think Dara's thinking of killing herself"

____________________________________________

DARA's POV

'How is she doc? Is she going to be fine?'

'Hey can you hear me?, Please wake up'

'I brought you some fruits, wake up now so that you can eat these delicious fruts I bought for you'

'Are you in pain? please wake up'

'I've been busy the whole day. I'm sorry if I'm visiting you this late'

'Who are you really?'

'Why did you do that to yourself? Please wake up'

'You are crying right? What are you thinking? You have tears in your eyes'

'Please wake up now'

'Everything will be alright. I promise you'

'Thank god it's friday. I can stay here with you all day long tomorrow. Please wake up'

'Who made you cry? Who made you like this?'

'Wake up already, please'

'Why did you commit suicide? Are you in so much pain as to why you want to end your life?'

'If you wake up I can show you how beautiful our world and our life is'

'It's been almost weeks past aready, and you are still sleeping? Are you really that tired? but you must wake up now'

'Please wake up soon, Please'

Voices? Why am I hearing voices?? Am I dead already?? Looks like I'm in hell. I can see nothing but darkness. I can hear voices but who's the owner of it? I could feel someone holding my hands but I see no one. I could hear ticking of a clock but there is none. Am I in hell but where's the fire??

Where am I?

'Another day has come. Good morning to you.'

Again that voice. I even felt someone hold my hand tightly. It felt so comfortable. I never felt this good before I drunk tons of sleeping pi---.

Wait!! I should be dead, but I can feel the warmth of the hands locked with mine.

What happened to me? Don't tell me... I'm still alive??

Damn it...!! NOOOOO!!!

I opened my eyes that instant. Bright lights blinded me for a second then for a minute I can see everything, I can see my hands with a tube line connected to a bottle with fluids. Wait is that an IVF??

I looked at my other hand where I can still feel the warmth as if someone's holding it but there was none.

I looked elsewhere and I see a door, flowers, a sofa bed, an oxygen tank a mon---. NO!!! This is the hospital!!?

I smirked. So I am still alive huh..God you are so mean to me. How could you.

I bit my lower lip and a tear escaped my eyes even though I don't want to cry. I tried sitting up. With a little sore on my body, I still sat and bended my head while drop of tears soaked the white sheet covering me.

I heard a door creaked and I heard footstep.

"I'm here agai-. OMO!" I heard a man's voice but I didn't looked at him. He was talking in pure Korean.

"You're awake now.. Wait let me call a doctor" I heard him whispered softly and heard a door closed. I didn't even make a single move. But crying silently.

After some few minutes I wiped my tears and I heard footsteps outside. I felt someone checked me out. There are 3 doctors who checked me out, I know it even though I don't even dare try looking at them.

"I'm glad you're awake now. You should lie first or you'll get dizzy if you stay like that" I heard someone talking and helped me lie on my back once again. Someone even pointed a pen light on both of my eyes and I was just staring at the ceiling. I don't want to look at them. Why would!??

"Miss, what's you're name?"

Someone asked.. I didn't even bother answering them.

"Do you know where you are right now?"

Silence.

"Do you know what date is today"

Silence.

"Did you remember what happened?"

Silence.

"Looks like you're still not fully awake miss. You should rest some more okay. We'll be back later" I heard someone uttered.

Me not fully awake?? How stupid can they be??.

"Is she going to be fine? Is everything alright?" the voice of the man suddenly in.

"Yes, she's fine now. She only needs some rest"

"Thank God. Thank you"

Who is this moron?? Is he the one who brought me in this hell?? I then closed my eyes and sleep, erasing all the voices, and only wanted darkness.

*******

I again opened my eyes after some time past. I saw a guy holding a bowl of something in his hand and blowing it. trying to cool the thing inside that bowl.

"Ohh it's lunch time already. I know you wanted to eat. It's been almost 2 weeks that you are asleep. Can you sit?"

I saw the guy placed the bowl on a table and went towards my bed just to adjust the level of my bed to 45 degrees. After adjusting it, he went to fetch the bowl and sat near me.

"You can open your mouth now" The guy scoop and blew the steam away from the spoon to cool it up. He then slowly brought the spoon to my mouth and I was just looking at him. What I hate the most is seeing him smiling so warmly. "Say Aaaa"

"Are you the one who helped me?" I muttered.

"Deh" He answered. He brought back the spoon on the bowl and he then flashed me a very warm smile. Pisses me more. "I am Minho by the way. Lee Minho"

He once again scoop a spoonfull of soup and blew the steam. He brought that thing to my mouth while I was just looking at him, looking at the smile on his lips.. Damn it!! Why is he smiling like that!!!?

I slapped the spoon away in anger together with the bowl and they ended up broken to pieces on the floor.

" you!! I don't need help!! How I wish you help me die rather than living this ed up life!!"

___________________________________________________

An UPDATE!!! kkkkkkkkkk.. Gonna update SM next and soon.

"If you have a friend who is a bad one, with a personality you hate, but is really nice to you,.. What method are you going to use to deal with her? or are you going rip the word friendship between the two of you, or hurt her because you secretly hate her ?``

chenchen- we all have a dark side in us we are not perfect.i always stay to my friend side even if i dont agree to her decision i cant judge her cause im not in the position to choose what she wants to be ill stay with her through thick and thin

kits21- so for me i would stay to our friendship even i dont like her attitude, because shes my friend and from the start i know whom she is? so through thick and thin we will stay together.

DaraGonINSANE- if i have a friend like that.. i wont tolerate it.. i will confront her about this and tell her my concerns.. i wont just sit around and pretend to kiss ___ about her attitude.. coz 1, i care for her.. and 2, i wont let others do that for me.. it will be of much hell if she wud hear it to other people instead of mine.. coz i believe that FRIENDS sees your worst self.. and they wont let you be eaten by it.. of course, i wud also explain my POV about it and make her understand what im pointing..

browneyes- we do have different personalities, i accepted her as a friend including all of her ....so why rip the friendship? scolding and advices i think should be enough, since its a part of your friendship. ending it is not a way for her to change since its a part of who she is but being there for her, scolding or giving advices might be a way for her to realize those things that thereare somethings that she did wrong.

mimi_chan18- a friend who has a bad personality i'll try to talk to that person about this,its his/ her choice if he/ she will listen to me or do something about it but i will never leave that person unless he/she push me away. 

amership- when you consider one person as your friend, its not only her good side that you accepted but her bad side as well, what I am trying to say here, all of us composed of both sides, its just sometimes we let the other side more...

I'm not actually the kind of person who tolerate when I know its no longer good, specially if its already ruining herself...you see whatever your actions to other shows what kind of person are you, I love all my friends w/ no conditions asks may they be good or bad...and if they're on that bad side I actually make sure that we would have some alone time to bond..just the two of us..I always actually ask..if hows her day..the past weeks..just anything to make sure that she's ok...I don't usually do the talking I let her talk coz I know that she needs it, no matter how happy she would show me, the day won't end that she will show what she really feels and why she's becoming the bad person when I know that she's not and that's the time that I will tell her things she needs to hear as a real friend...that's just me..I always go on a gentle way..I don't wanna lose real friends so I makes sure to let them know I can be a friend they could be certain of and not just a certain friend

ekakuncung- i think i will rip the word "friendship" but just use the word "friend" , its better than to hurt her cause i secretly hate her.. for what the word "friendship" but actually i hurt her with my lies?? so i can be her friend but no for her friendship

132901- a friend who is nice to me but i hate his/her personality?!Oh! ok! I might not hate her whole personality BUT we might not agree on something’s. So based from my own personality. I will tell her/him. I will let my anger pass then confront him/her. And if he or she is my friend will move on.

gd_ume- Id still stick w/ my friend…I always believe that we do things because of our experiences in life.. we act a certain way consciously, at times subconsciously because as human we try to protect ourselves from pain..disappointments..from being hurt…we are but human. you might think me pretentious or a goody two shoes but out of my experiences in life, accepting who a person is and always giving him/her the benefit of the doubt is best. It doesn’t mean i tolerate them but i speak up at the right time. opportunity will always crop up when the proper time to do so arrives. everything happens for a reason, and it might be difficult to accept or understand at THAT TIME, but everything will be revealed as planned and that's when you realize, yes it does need to happen...

HappyBlue- Actually, this case had happened to me.. what I did was to talk to her and yeah, I frankly said to her what my problems with her.. but before I start I said something that I have a confession to tell her that would maybe break our bonds but I can't help it if i need to tell.. i wanna be true and honest to her, i can't keep on being friends to her if I hate her. But I did it in a calm way and unfortunately we ended up with awkward situation but i'm glad we're still friends but not close.. BUT HEY, AT LEAST I'M BEING HONEST TO HER. ^_^V

eamzkirei- I also have friends that i love but hate some of their guts as well.they are my childhood friends and the fact that ive known them for so long makes me accept some of their bad personalities.. I dont really hesitate on telling them that i dont like the way they are handling on things or the way they act. We should be honest and frank rather than go on and backstabing our friends.. Our friendship's still strong now because we accept each others flaw..

Lakeland- if I had a bad friend I would try to make her listen to me. If she didn't I wouldnt cut all ties with her because if I did then she won't get any better and would just hurt other people around her. Every

Time she would do a bad decision I would be there and try to stops her and in the end if she doesn't get any better I would then cut ties with her to show her that if she continues than we can't be friends even if it hurts me to leave her.

For my 8th question:

"Did you happen to commit a suicide attempt? If you are, then what did you feel after doing it. Were you happy that you're still alive or been angry all along?"---To those who didn't, I have other question for you. "Have you ever thought of ending your life just because you felt worthless? How did you deal with it?"

- I committed suicide once but I was really stupid because I used a very funny technique. I sliced my wrist with a blade and it hurts so much!!! I did it once then I went to my friends and asked for some advices, but actually I just want someone to talk with, to know their own opinion of my problem or the situation I am in. I am a very sensitve human being and just a little word can hurt me so much. I have tons of suicide ideation but I know I won't go to heaven if I murder my own life right. So I now useanother technique on how to deal with my own problem. I bought  a notebook and I used it as my diary. But it's not really a diary where I write all my pains, sadness in it, but I wrote a poem. Writing a poem gave me time to think, how to solve, and how to end my suffering. Sometimes i wrote a lyrics and make it a song. It really helped me clm down. And I'm glad I'm still alive.

                                                                                                                                                       -aeiya-luvs-u

TRIVIA!!!!

Did you know??... 90% of female have cases of commiting a suicide attempt??

But did you know that 90% of males died of suicide?

Thanks you all for subscribing!! keep leaving a comment... I have a twitter account now, but hey, don't expect too much because i have empty twits kkkkk..I'll teach myself for now. Mianhe for being a twitter illiterate. kkkk

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Keep on smiling

Aeiya-luvs-u