That’s right. I wish him dead. It’s the only way my son would be free from pain. But I don’t want to lose my son. I want to cure him but I’m no God to do so nor a doctor. Hell, a doctor is useless as well for he didn’t even save my son.

Finally I gave in, I sobbed and I can’t hide it anymore. I buried my face on my palms for I can’t show them a reason for pity. It hurts so much to dig your past and it’s more painful if there’s someone whose trying to dig more.

I felt someone turn me around and enveloped me in a safe and warm embrace. I believe it’s Minho. But I was wrong.

“Dee”

Dee? I don’t know why my eyes flew to Jiyong after hearing that name. Our eyes met and there he goes, that pity look again. Tears poured more out from my eyes and yet my eyes are glued to his.

“Let go of me! Don’t touch me!!” I pushed him hard but he sticks to me and I hate it and punched his chest with all my might but he just let me which I hate it even more.

How could this happen to us Jiyong? We’re best of friends and soon fell in love but we’re both hurting,.. always. Everytime I see you, I remember Ryujin. I am happy but at the same time I am in pain. I can’t believe you were the father of my son. You deserve to know about him, but the pain drives me to stay away and I’m sorry. I was wrong. It’s all my fault! You deserve the pain Jiyong, but I’m hurting more to see you hurting more than me.

I wish I could say what’s on my mind. I only need to open my mouth right? But I can’t. I just can’t.

I pushed him again with all my might and I succeeded. I went near Minho for protection instead. I saw Jiyong bit his lower lip when I pressed my back on Minho’s chest and his hands rested on my waist. But still Jiyong’s reaching out for me and I trembled and shook my head.

“No!!! Don’t come near her you bastard” Minho yelled and I thank him for understanding my situation. If Jiyong touched me, I might die. His touch is lethal, his voice calling my name is a drug, forbidden yet addictive and gets me excited all the time. Jiyong makes me lose my mind. He always does.

“No!” Jiyong uttered.

I gasped when he suddenly reached for my hand and squeeze it. It was gentle and I bit my lower lips for the emotions running inside of me even without looking at him. I want to slap him yet I don’t want him to let go of my hands.               

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you” He whispered. I heard sincerity but that made me slap his hand off of me and faced him with my swelling eyes, tears still running down.

I don’t know why I hate to hear him saying that but I did. I hate it!!

“That’s great, really! It’s good to know,... ‘cause I don’t even want you to be there” I hissed.

It was a lie! I prayed and wish everyday that I have Jiyong beside me. Those time when my son started to talk, all my son’s firsts, even when I felt so alone and misses him, God knows how I prayed that he was there with me.

The reason why I can’t tell him the truth, is because I’m hurt and I’m angry. Everything sinks in whenever I remember the past, the hurt, the pain, and a lot more. Hell, I got pushed aside by them! And now they want to dig the past once more.

Hell NO!! I’m tired of those s!!

______________________________________________

MINHO’s POV

I hurt to see Dara crying. She’s a natural cry-baby. But whenever she’s crying because of her son, it’s really different. I know she’s hurting too much and even more hurting than how we define the word PAIN.

I also know that her friends deserve to know everything about her son. They were concern of her well being, their just so stupid and always made a wrong move when it comes to Sandara. Time really is precious. There’s always a time for everything.

I bit my inner cheek when I heard Dara’s last words. She was lying! I was there whenever she told me he misses Jiyong and how she wishes him to be there with her after we found out Ryujin has a weak heart 4 weeks after he was born. Jiyong is her drug. He can heal her. The only problem for now is Dara.

She’s in so much pain that everything she hear and she sees will turn out negative. Thank God Bom and CL both shut their mouth. It will help. We always need silence to think.

“Keys?..., please” Dara whispered to me with her swollen eyes. I growned and shook my head left and right. Oh Hell no I can’t let her drive.

“No, I’ll drive you instead” I said. I can’t let her drive with swollen eyes and aching heart. I can’t let her walk out of this place in her state even more. I began to drag her out of the door, didn’t even bother to say goodbye to her friends who fell quiet after the revelation. But before we reach the stairs down, she stopped me.

“Please” she muttered gently with her eyes burning on me.

‘I wanna be alone. Please’

That is what she wants to tell me.

I sighed and kissed her forehead in surrender.  “Don’t do something stupid. Promise me” I added. I know she needed the time to be alone, even if I’m afraid she might do something stupid. Still, I gave her the keys of my car and she left with just a nod. I watched her back slowly fading until she’s gone.

I hurt too. I don’t show her pity because she hates it. Who does? I can only support her and offer her comfort. Truth is, I pity her. She lost the people she love the most. Her parents, her friends, her best friend, and then her son. She’s broken.

 For one last time, I peeked at what’s happening inside the room where her friends are. I sighed when I saw how Jiyong was on his knees while Bom and CL are crying. The others are trying to comfort Jiyong and the girls. Even Seungri was drinking from the whole bottle of vodka.

Their hurting too. I can tell how they love Dara too much. What they did is unforgivable. One mistake can really leave a scar and that happened to Dara. She’s deaf and blinded for she’s broken. It’s difficult for her to trust again.

I turn around and walk away. I don’t want to see how twisted their lifestory is.

I was waiting for the valet when I heard commotions inside the club. Then I saw Jiyong and the girls. They paused for a moment after they saw me before they run towards me.

“Uh-oh!” I whispered to myself.

“Thank God you’re still here, where is she?” It was Jiyong who talk first. But Crap! What to say??

“Let her be Ji” I said and act cool.

“No!! I can’t. So tell me where she is!”

Damn he’s so stubborn.

“There’s nothing more to say Jiyong. You hurt her. Please understand that she’s broken, she’s in pain, so don’t add more salt to her open wound. So please let her be”

They fell silent. And when there’s no more to say, I’m prepared to leave but I got surprised when someone hugged me on my back, petit arms are circled around my waist. I freeze for I felt the owner of this petit arms were trembling.

“Thank you so much for staying with her Minho. Dara is stubborn. We deserve to get punished like this because of what we did to her. I know you knew that we are doing this out of concern. I hope she will understand that as well. But I don’t blame her of anything. We want her to know that we’re here for her. We are still her friends. So please....,” Bom paused and loosened her hold on me just to walk in front and kissed me on the cheek. “We can’t let a friend of ours suffer alone. Please let Jiyong follow her. Even if it’s only Jiyong. He loves her”

I know that. “You don’t understand Bom-” I uttered and leaned my head up and closed my eyes for a bit. Damn it hurts to know Jiyong loves her. They love each other. Yes I know that it’s time for me to let her go, to let Dara find her healer. But let’s put a test on how deep is his love for her. “You don’t know what she went through. So it’s best for all of you to just stay here and behave” I continued.

“Then tell us the details Minho. What do we need to know? Tell us please?” Bom’s teary plead. I didn’t believe Dara when she told me that Bom’s tears could kill. Not until now for Dara is right. This girl can melt you.

But the question is, are they prepared to hear more about her? To know more about Dara’s past? They might get shock and get guilty for the rest of their life. Dara wants her pasts hidden but let’s put psychology on it, she’s using those past to hurt herself because she thinks that she’s the whole reason of everything. She keep the pain to herself and walk outside with a poker face and no one knows that she is a broken girl because she thought she deserve the pain and doesn’t wanna share it.

“You want to know more? How will you digest the things I might reveal if in your state you look like you already lost in a tiring battle?” I challenged. Let’s hear her answer.

“I deserve it. I want to know so that we know what to do next. I love Dara so much, she’s a sister to me” Bom said and I hid a smile behind my poker face and smirk instead.

My eyes flew to Jiyong and glare at him. Yet I saw his tired eyes and eagerness to see Dara. So I stop glaring and sighed once again. I lost to him. I saw how his hands are trembling and how he looks so beat up. Dara is indeed his drug too. Both are medicine for each other. Lovely. I lose!

I walked towards Jiyong and hid my hands inside my pants pockets. I look at CL who looks beat up, then back to Jiyong once again. I shrugged my shoulders and began to talk.

“Bastard” I began.

“Yes. Call me names or whatever. Just please tell me where she went?”

“What for? You shoo her out of your life remember?” Show me how you love her Kwon, Jiyong.

“I know. But I want to make up for the loss, and I could never afford to lose her the second time around. Please allow me to be her strength. She lost a child and I wasn’t there. I love her. I will never hurt her again. I want to be with her, specially at times like this. Please I beg of you. She’s in pain and I want to---”

I anticipate his answer. Say the magic word Jiyong, and I will let you have her.

“I wan’t to..., heal her pain.,” He heaved a deep breath before he continued. “Give me a chance to prove to her that I’m always here. Always waiting, always here to help her and be there for her. Please let me be with her. Right now, tonight, tomorrow, everyday until we can’t breath no more”

It hurts.

“Please Minho”

__________________________________________________________

A/N: Been a long time Pipz. Missed u all. I'm gonna update the next chapter in 2 days. Enjoy the ride. There's few changes from now on. No asking now, Been too busy and my daragon feels lessen. But I will push myself to finish all my fics. We are near the end. You already know the plot and it's end.  

newbie_me   & 132901- Thanks for sharing that sreal life story. (About your comments on chapter 37) It's really hard to be a mother but the happiness that we find watching over our kids is ten times worth it.

tothesky11 - I am trying dear. We're near the end anyway. Thank you for your thoughts.

Miss_Prei - I love u too. You know what? I always search your name at the comments section. I really love how you share your thoughts with me. (I hope eveyone will share their too, but not the violent part where it brokes me./ hahaha) I'm so sorry if I updated this story just now. Please understand. I'm gonna upload the next chap in 2 days. Mark my words.

wenkie0414 & ephrael  - Thank you so much for your comment. I love it. I give you both my heart. Saranghe!!

butterfinger   - I'm so happy you shared  your thoughts. I am always grateful to those who reads my story even if they don't share their thoughts (beloved silent readers). I will always love the people who loves me and my stories... Thank you so much.!! I'm so happy you showed up!! hahaha.

bernie20  - I laughed at you comment even if there's nothing in it!! hahaha.

zendee  & reneelou - *on knees. Mianhe. T^T

polet95 - I know I'm sorry.

jennypish2012  - I hate that girl as well. she stole GD from us!! Arghh!

Thank you.

Keep on smiling

Aeiya-luvs-u