DARA’s POV

“Ryu, my baby. I missed you so much, please come back to me”

It was the last word I remembered whispering on my dream. I squished my eyes and slowly opened it. Though it hurts but I blinked it all away. I heared birds singing and the sound of the river caught my attention. I blinked once more and felt the warmth of the person lying beside me, then reality brought me back and pain strikes once again.

All that happened last night projected on my memories. But it highlights more on Jiyong’s confession and that made me feel totally lost. I don’t know what to feel anymore. Do I have to be happy and start all over again knowing he loves me and I feel the same way? Or to hate him even more for telling me all that when disaster already strikes and currently waiting for the aftermath to subside which I know it will take forever to subside?

I leaned my head up a little and stared at the man lying beside me. He have his eyes closed but I can feel his lips on my forehead before I leaned back to stare at him. His right arm served as my pillow and his other hand’s on my waist above the two coats he used to cover me from the coldness while he has nothing but an inner polo, pants, and his shoes. He must be cold.

I watched how his eyes somehow trembles, his perfect and beautiful nose, his lips that breath air in and out, and his cheeks that got bruises from what I did last night, and that made some tear escaped my eyes once again. It’s amazing how I still have enough tears on my eyes. I bet I look totally wasted and with black circles around my eyes. But I don’t care how I look right now, because I know one thing for sure that matters most right now, this man beside me...., he loves me. Yet tears escaped my eyes once more.

I want to be happy knowing he loves me, not just love me but truly loves me beause all this time I thought his confession recently that he loves me was due to his guilt for sending me away for 7 years now. I thought I’m the only one who’s in love.

But damn it! Why now Jiyong?

I want to hate him more as well because the damage has been done, but I understand how he feels. He was right when he told me that I confessed at the wrong time and it was the biggest mistake I did. I blamed him for everything that happened to me, when in fact it’s my fault too. All I think about was him hurting me when he too, is in pain. I hurt him, that’s fo sure. God, why am I being so selfish when it comes to Jiyong? How did we end up hurting each other? So who am I to hate him? It’s hard to confess because we’re bestfriends. I chose love over friendship but ended up screwing everything we have, while he chose friendship over love because he cares for me. I know that feeling yet I became so selfish and thought he’ll love me back.

But damn you Jiyong, Why now?

I felt his hand on my waist move and saw him opening his eyes. Our eyes met and we said nothing but stare in each other’s eyes. Pity, it was the emotion I felt looking at his beautiful brown eyes. I released yet again another river of tears but I am not crying loudly.

I was the one who broke the eye contact because guilt is slowly eating my heart. I know what he thinks, and that he pities me for losing my son which I should be thinking right now, but he’s wrong. I can’t stop the tears fom falling because I,... I don’t know how to tell him that,... that,.....

He was the father of my dead son. Oh God.

“Dara, please, please stop crying now.., I don’t want to see you like this please. Come on, I’ll take you home”

I heared him uttered and felt him wanting to lift my head up to face him but I pushed him a little bit. He paused and I know he’s hurt after all this time that he stayed with me, even in this cold and open place, yet I still wanted him to go away. I really wanted him to go away, maybe for now. We’re just hurting each other if he stay beside me and I might lose my mind thinking I took away something precious from him. My guilt might eat me up.

All I need to do is to spill everything right? But we’re both in pain, I’ve had enough. I just wanted to be alone. For now.

Jiyong began to sit and I know he’s trying to ease the pain in his heart fom the way he’s looking at the morning sky, trying to hold the tears as he let go a deep sigh. See? We’re hurting each other, but I don’t have a face to show him.

I then felt the coldness when he’s not lying beside me now. I teared up. I need to shoo him away for now. I promise to tell him everything but now is not the right time and I have no face to show him as well. I need to be alone yet I don’t want him to go. Just for now, I need to think and reflect on my actions.

I ed up big time! I’m sorry Jiyong.

“I know you want me to leave you behind, but I’m not going anywhere Dara. Come on let me get you something to eat” he said softly and he then helped me on my feet.

He’s so stubborn really, he’s just making it hard on me and I have no strength to push him anymore. I was already on my feet when my head aches and my knees can’t hold my weight. But it thanks to Jiyong for catching me before I fell on the floor. I was about to whisper my gratitude for helping me and then shoo him away once again but then I felt him leaning his forehead on my forehead while his hands lightly tap my neck.

“You’re burning with fever Dee. Come on let me get you out of here, and I’m not going anywhere Dara. Curse me all you want but I will not leave you.” he once again muttered and damn it Jiyong, damn it! damn it! Don’t show me this side of you when I’m being weak.

Yet, it’s funny how I stopped crying and heeded all his orders before I passed out in his arms.

******

I woke up with pain in my head and with a blurred vision, but one thing is for sure, I am alone in a nice and neat looking room, in a softest bed but with a tube from an IV was inserted on my left hand. Am I at a hospital?

No, I think this isn’t a hospital for I can hear soothing noises of the ocean outside. My eyes went to stare on a, I think it’s the balcony and there I got the picture of a perfect ocean before my eyes as its curtain’s being blown by a gentle wind. I want to go and watch the sceneries but when I tried to sit, volt of pain stops me. Even the surrounding looks like it’s circling.

Where am I? Where’s Jiyong? What day is it today? What happened? God I have so many questions right now but my headache is being a pain in my .

My eyes then followed the voices outside the room, on the slightly open door to hear what they are talking about.

“She’ll be okay. I bet she’ll wake up anytime now. Just remember to do what I ordered you to do Jiyong-ah. I’ll send a nurse later when the IV fluids needs to be replaced and call me if you need my help”

Then not long I heard a door closing with footsteps outside. Though I can’t see him but I know it’s Jiyong. His footstep’s getting closer to the slightly open door. I want to see his face, I want to know that Jiyong’s here with me. I want to be sure if he really stayed beside me. And finally, I saw him holding the door but I think he didn’t realize that my eyes on his every moves. Yet, I smiled knowing he really stayed with me.

He goes directly to the closet near the footpart of the bed and removed his top. My heart thumps loudly at the sight of his y back with his tattoo ‘too fast to live too young to die’ and his other tattoos. But that tattoo imprinted on his back, it was a saying I wrote after my parents death as I love writing quotes and sayings. Jiyong loves it and I was so shocked that he made those as his tattoo. I was fluttered but I don’t like him having a tattoo. But it’s different now, I love how those tattoos sticking on his skin.

God knows how I want to run my fingers on his back, on those markings on his skin. But damn it Jiyong!, why the hell are we in this mess?

Suddenly I felt drowsy again. So I close my eyes before I met his eyes. I heared him walking towads my direction until I felt move and heared it creak. I know for sure he’s sitting on my bed and felt him squeezed my hand gently. My heart thump fast once again as he brought my hands to his lips and held it there.

“You’re so beautiful Dee, God knows how I want you” he whispered so softly that gave tingles on my belly.

Then I felt his hand reached for my cheek and his thumb caressed my lower lip. I want to open my eyes but chose to close it and act asleep. The emotion running inside me is too much that’s why.

But thank you Jiyong. Thank you for staying with me just as what you promised last night. Thank you but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did. Soon, I promise to tell you, but now is not the right time.

I’m really sorry.

*****

JIYONG’S POV

I let out a sigh as I am now relieved that her fever’s subsiding. Thank God. It’s almost 7:00 in the evening and yet she isn’t waking up. I removed the white cloth from her forehead and gently wipe her sweat due to the effect of the drug induced to her IVF just a little while ago as I sat right next to her.

I reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Shhhhh” I shushed as she’s having a nightmare. She’s been whispering her son’s name, tearing, and sometimes she trembles. I really am sorry for her. She suffered a lot and the fact that I added wound from her already wounded heart. I’m such a bastard.

I wiped the tears that escaped in her closed eyes as she whispered her sons name once again. It makes my heart aches seeing her like this and I hate it that I can’t do anything to ease her pain. But I hope staying with her will help her somehow.

“I’m here Dara, I’m always waiting” I whispered softly and brought her hand to my lips, hold it there even if it takes forever. “Everything will be alright now. I promise you that I will be there for you. Let me heal you please. I love you Dara, my baby ssanttoki. Please stop crying now. Please”

“I love you so much” I added and kissed her hand and closed my eyes, praying.

Finally, my prayers has been heared as I felt her hand tightly squeezed mine. My eyes flew directly on he face and I saw how she let out a deep sigh as if she let out all the pain inside her. I held her hand the way she hold it and my other hand reached for her cheeks, caressing it gently with my thumb.

Slowly her eyes finally opened, letting me have a good stare on her beautiful brown eyes. She stared directly to my eyes and I was surprised but thankful that she did.

“Thank God you’re awake now” I said but failed to get a reaction from her, she just stare into my eyes. I gave her an everything’s-gonna-be-okay smile. At least she’s looking at me.

Then I felt it again, her hand that is locked with mine, she squeezed it tightly as if there’s something she needs to say. But what is it? Then finally she spoke.

“I’m so sorry-” she uttered with her crack voice after she tore her gaze out but didn’t let go of my hand. “-I really am”.

___________________________________________

A/N: Hows everyone? I know I disappoint you for updating the story sooooooo late. Please forgive me. But I promise, I won't abandon any of my fics. Please stay with me 'till the end for it's reaching near the end. 

For now, please I get more courage to write whenever I read all your comments, so please leave one. See you on my next update. I'm free this week so I can write and soon I'll update this again. Saranghae.

Thanks for the up-votes, subscribing, reading, commenting, and many more to thanks. THANK YOU.

Keep on Smiling,

Aeiya-luvs-u

___________________________________________

A/N: Hows everyone? I know I dissappoint you for updating the story sooooooo late. Please forgive me. But I prromise, I w

___________________________________________

A/N: Hows everyone? I know I dissappoint you for updating the story sooooooo late. Please forgive me. But I prromise, I w