It’s been 5 years and 3 months since the last time Tiffany saw the older girl. That day when Tiffany barged in the wedding, yelled something sounded like ‘please don’t marry him!’ still glued tightly on her mind. The memory was clear in her mind, never once she tried to forget the face of Jessica looking at her with so much hate, with so much disappoint. 

 

Tiffany hope she can going back to that day and never slam the church’s door hard just to had all the disapproving looks mixed disgusted thrown over her. No, Jessica never chose her, she never been Jessica’s first priority every since they’re in middle school. She still can hear the voice of the other girl hushed her with harsh words like ‘Go away. I never want you,’. Tiffany hope she can buried all the feelings she had for the brunette girl and hate her forever. But stupidly, she cannot.

 

She is just being herself; being someone who likes the same gender relationship than being one with boys. She is 25 and she knows which is good and which is not. Although she knows being a gay is a wrong way, she never once regret for being one of them. Not when she is comfortable enough, not when she knows the right person to understand girl’s feeling is also a girl.

 

“I’m sorry but I have a friendly dinner at Seunghyun’s. Maybe… next time?” 

 

Tiffany sends the spike haired boy an apologetic smile as she patted the boy’s shoulder. It would be another boy, another famous good lucking boy at the university that asked the red head out for another dinner, another date and another bulls. Tiffany knows exactly where things like this go; they went to a dinner together and exchanges number before in the end they agreed to keep in touch to one another which is lead to a more complicated thing called ‘relationship’. Tiffany never wanted to be a helpless crying girl that getting dumped after . 

 

This boy in front of her was no different.

 

“Oh… I see. So... next time, yes?”

 

“Yes next time,” if there’s any. Tiffany smiled upon seeing the boy’s bitter face.

 

“Kay… See you around,”

 

The red head waved at the boy who’s back facing her, going back to his football group and earned mocks from his group mates. Tiffany wanted to scoff, to shout at them that they’re just a bunch of stupid rich kids with their parent’s money flying over their lives. A little did she knows, those boys never even once know how hard life is which is Tiffany experienced every day.

 

“Another one,”

 

Tiffany nodded at the voice and started walking inside the building. The tall good looking boy followed her closely behind with his duffle bag on his right shoulder. He had  his hand tucked on his jean’s pocket before he put it on Tiffany’s shoulder.

 

“I never invited you to a friendly dinner at my place tonight. I mean c’mon… friendly? I wanted it to be more like a date,”

 

Tiffany laughed at her friend’s lame joke. A date with Seunghyun? Wow she will never ever denied it if she’s straight. Seunghyun is hot, every girl’s wants. He is a perfect figure of a prince riding horse and kissed you on the lips just to wake you up from a deep slumber. But Tiffany surely has conditions here; she’s not into boys and Seunghyun is her best buddy since high school.

 

“We are dating just now. Look at those stares, the girls is more than ready to skin me,” She said without looking at Seunghyun.

 

The tall boy scoffed as he tightened his gripped on Tiffany and kissed her head. The action made a huge attention when girls with cheerleader outfit shouted something like ‘You cheap get away from Seunghyun!’. 

 

Both Tiffany and Seunghyun laughed all the way to their English class.

 

***

 

 

The baggage car slammed close when the taxi driver put the pink luggage and a sport duffle bag onto it. He then opened the passenger’s door for the brunette girl to get in to the yellow cab. Once the taxi driver inside, he took a look to the girl on the passenger’s seat through the rear view mirror. 

 

“Where to go, Miss?”

 

The girl with a leopard printed coat handed him an address and the cab goes to the said address.

 

I hope you never hate me.

 

The girl bites her lips.

 

***

 

 

Tiffany throws punch to Seunghyun’s arms when the boy laughing at her when she stumbled on the sidewalk. Yoona that happened to be another passenger on the red car kindheartedly stepped out from the car and helped Tiffany stood properly on the ground. The younger girl laughed silently when Tiffany sends her death glare which is obviously useless since her glare only made Yoona’s body shook by holding back her laughter.

 

“Just go home you guys. Really Yoong you can just stay inside rather than laughing at me here,”

 

“I’m just trying to help okay?” She said still laughing as she get in the car and closed the door. “See you tomorrow. And please watch your steps,”

 

With that, the red car drove to the busy road and Tiffany waved until the vehicle vanished at the second turn. She fished out her phone from her hand bag and walked into her apartment building. 

 

Everything was just all the same. Her nights are as sleepless as ever ― if it’s not her clubbing or even for a night jogged ― it was just that, when she’s sleep – or even when she had one – the dream from five years ago adorn her gloomy night and made her waking up yet again, made her unable to sleep for the rest of the night.

 

How can she still remember a bitter thing clearly as if it was just yesterday? 

 

The more she wanted to forget it, the more she remembered it. Just like now.

 

“Miss Hwang,” Tiffany stopped on her track and walked closer to the receptionist. “You have a visitor. But I’m not sure you ever mentioned the name before so I let her waited in the lobby,”

 

Tiffany raised her eyebrows. The last visitor she had was Yoona and it was three days ago when she asked Tiffany to help her with her English paper and the other would be Seunghyun, but she can’t remember when exactly the last time the good looking boy visited her. Or even if it’s possible, Sunny? Her sister? But Sunny is studying in England and her break will be seven more months. So no, it won’t be Sunny.

 

“Visitor? Who?”

 

“She said her name is Jessica Jung. Do you know her, Miss?”

 

As in a cue, Tiffany’s body turned stiff and her skin look paler than it already does. Her brain stopped from working and the gear of her brain seems like broken and temporarily out of service. She doesn’t want to run to the lobby and never want to face the older girl she tried to forget all this time. But her feet led her to the lobby and her body stops responding to what she commanded. 

 

Tiffany felt herself kneeled beside the grey cushion. She wanted to scream to not touch the other girl but she can’t stop. She was eager to touch the white skin again, to feel how soft it was under her fingers. And she let her body led her this way. The tip of her finger touched the older girl’s face and soon she caressed it with the back of her hand.

 

Her vision became blurred at the time the sleeping girl opened her eyes and looked at her sleepily. The older girl smiled at her and her hand hold Tiffany’s hand on her face. Tiffany bit her lower lip and she immediately hugged the girl tight in her arms, smelling her scent, feeling the warmth she never once forget how comfortable it was.

 

“I missed you, Jessi,”

 

 

Jessica answered it with a kiss on her temple.

 

***

 

 

She watched when Jessica sipped her hot chocolate Tiffany made several minutes ago. How her fingers hold onto the only white cup Tiffany had in her apartment ― because the idea of getting a visitor never crossed her mind before. The red head eyed Jessica carefully as if she started too deep would make the older girl vanished. Jessica’s nails are well manicured just like she remembers ― the brunette like it looks pretty and all.

 

All the feelings inside her growing and Tiffany sure enough she would throw up butterfly if she failed to control herself at this very moment. The pain, the hurt and all the disappointment she felt all these years vanished like it never exist. Seeing Jessica in flesh excited her more than when Yoona brought her a pink unicorn plushie several months ago. 

 

Jessica cleared and their eyes met for a mere minute ― Tiffany can’t help but blushed and look everywhere but Jessica. Tiffany bit her lip as she looking at her velvet pink slipper.

 

“So… you do have a good amount to stay here, yes?” Jessica started. The voice was still as soft as Tiffany ever heard and her heart skipped a bit just by listening to it.

 

“M- My dad bought it for me,” She shuttered. Jessica nodded.

 

“How’s school?”

 

“Fine, I guess,”

 

There were silent. They used to talk to each other not like this. They talked about anything, everything. From what happened to the day until all the nonsense and they gonna ended up laughing for anything without a proper reason. Tiffany take a look at Jessica and found the older girl looking at her with a small smile on her face, she cannot help it when she flash a smile. She missed Jessica so much.

 

She was curious though for the reason at why Jessica suddenly appear in the apartment lobby from nowhere. It was five years that they almost stop talking to each other, that Jessica chose to move from Korea to America to live with her husband and left Tiffany alone with nothing but disappointment. Tiffany never once being her priority for anything but why Jessica is here now? With her luggage and her stuffs in her apartment? 

 

“Did something… happened?” 

 

There was silent from Jessica as the other girl look away. Tiffany gulped considering either she asked for more or not. She was curious and she wanted to know the answer.

 

“Are you… in any case, running―”

 

“I am divorced,”

 

***

 

 

Yoona plopped her head on the wooden table as soon as Tiffany told both Yoona and Seunghyun that Jessica is currently stayed at her place. The other two know how bad it was to not supported Tiffany but letting Jessica stayed at the red head place was just a plain… stupid. 

 

It’s not that they hated Jessica to what had happened on the past, well, past stayed in the past, but running away after a divorce and stayed with Tiffany is just really crazy. Well, Jessica had to admit that Tiffany ― at anyway ― is counted as her ex. So running away after a divorce to her ex’s place was just really a crazy idea both Yoona and Seunghyun ever heard. 

 

They don’t like the idea but neither can blame Tiffany for all this. The feeling for Jessica is still as huge as they know and there will be no way Tiffany can refuse Jessica. There would be two possibility; one, Jessica is using Tiffany because she knows Tiffany won’t rejected her, or two ― which has a very tiny changes ― Jessica finally knows that Tiffany means the world for her and regretted leaving the red head five years ago.

 

But Tiffany is not 17 which means she know that love is not only butterflies and rainbow. She thinks straight forwards and also thinking like that her two buddies thinks. It might be true that Jessica just ran away from her husband and family and used her for a rabbit before she went back to the states to her family ― and maybe reconciled with her husband ― and leave Tiffany with all the sorrow yet again. And the second possibility? Does she needs to even thinking of it?

 

“Just be careful. You know how things going on back then,” Yoona held her hand.

 

 

Tiffany nodded.

 

 

But I sense something different this time.

 

***

 

“Oh hi! You’re home already? I cook you dinner,”

 

 

Since when Jessica cook?

 

 

“It’s your favorite,”

 

Tiffany chuckled as she watched Jessica beamed when the older girl put the dinner on the table. Jessica sat there beside her after scooping her rise. Tiffany gulped nervously but excited at the same time. If she can coming home and greeted by Jessica like this, she will and probably would do anything for that. 

 

“Hm this taste good! Since when you started cooking?” Tiffany chewed to another mouthful rise and the side dish.

 

“Daniel thought me,”

 

 

Of course.

 

 

After the dinner, both Tiffany and Jessica sat there on the couch, watching the shows Tiffany barely watched. She glanced at Jessica every sixty seconds and blushed after realizing what she is doing. How much she wanted to erase her conversation with Yoona and Seunghyun at the café, the more curious she get. What exactly Jessica doing here in the first place. 

 

But not now, not when Jessica leaned to her shoulder, her arms circling Tiffany’s left arms and the warmth Jessica emitted is the only thing that can make Tiffany relaxed from all these years. They barely talked to each other like they used to, but Tiffany doesn’t mind it, at all. 

 

Because as long as Jessica was there with her, she feels safe. 

 

***

 

 

Tiffany stepped into her apartment and greeted with nothing but silent. When wondered where Jessica is since for the past nine days Jessica’s voice will be the one who greeted her. The red head look around and she didn’t find Jessica anywhere. She rushed into her room only to find Jessica’s luggage and duffle bag are still there. 

 

“Jess?”

 

Nothing answered her.

 

Tiffany walked to the kitchen and about to grab some water when she spotted a green post-in on it. She read Jessica’s well-handwriting.

 

 

 

If it’s 8 and I’m not home yet

that means Daniel forced me to stay at his place.

He came today.

help…?

 

 

Tiffany looked at the clock on the living room’s wall.

“!”

 

***

 

 

“Can I have a last kiss?”

 

“Okay…”

 

***

 

 

Tiffany scoffed. Yes she has expected this kind of thing happening when she decided to going out from her apartment and asked Seunghyun to take her to Daniel’s hotel. There she saw them, what else besides kissing they shared. Tiffany can’t help but broken hearted yet again. Seunghyun sighed and patted her back, tried to soothe the red head girl by the view they shared. The tall boy loosened his grip when he felt Tiffany walked away.

 

“Tiffany,” was the only voice that can stopped Tiffany from walking away.

 

Seunghyun watched when Jessica looking at them shocked but as soon as she realized it was Tiffany coming for her, she started to walked fast to the younger girl ― almost running Seunghyun can say. The white collar man walked slowly towards Seunghyun and tapped his shoulder. Daniel smiled.

 

“Let’s have some coffee first,”

 

***

 

 

All Jessica knows is just hugging Tiffany as tight as she can to prevent the younger girl to walk away even further. Jessica buried her face on Tiffany’s hair as she desperately holding as much as Tiffany body onto her. 

 

“Why…?”

 

She felt the red head’s voice shaking and she pulled away softly. The only thing Jessica wanted to avoid is the view of Tiffany crying. The image that glued on her mind from five years ago already sank her heart for the past years until she decided to go back for the girl again. And now, Jessica will not let that happened, she will stay instead of going away and left Tiffany all alone.

 

Jessica wiped the tears and frowned when there’s some other that streaming down Tiffany’s face. She wiped it again and again and again until she frustrated enough and started to gripped on the red head’s arms tightly. She closed her eyes. She never wanted to see Tiffany cry. 

 

 

It scared her.

 

 

It reminds her for five years ago.

 

 

“Please stop crying,” Jessica sobs. “Please stop crying,”

 

Jessica gripped onto the arms desperately as if her life depended on it. She ducked her head, her eyes close tightly and her tears dropped onto the ground, leaving a dark spots on the asphalt. 

 

“Don’t cry, Tiff. Please don’t cry,” she repeated.

 

***

 

 

Seunghyun prepared his self for everything Daniel will say for the next moment they sat facing each other on the hotel’s restaurant; a cup of coffee for Daniel and a can of cola for Seunghyun. He prepared for the worst, he prepared for beating Daniel but this, their conversation, he doesn’t expect. It even never crossed his mind. 

 

“We’ve been married for three years. It was our three years anniversary actually when she asked me to divorce her,” Daniel sipped her coffee, his finger playing with the cup’s lip. “I know it was Tiffany all this time. I still can hear her pleading to bring Tiffany to her when we first move to the states. If you’re thinking that Jessica is a careless , then you’re wrong

 

“I thought it was impossible for me to stop her from the misery at first and dragging her out from the room is another story. But as time goes by, I think she can finally move on even it’s not the fact for forgetting Tiffany fully.

 

“I have no choice but to divorce her, right?” Daniel chuckled but soon he frowned. “Though I love her so much, I think I still have to let her go. Her love’s for Tiffany, not me. Being with her for three years is enough for me and another two years after is the hardest pasts of my life.

 

“As soon as I’m agreed, she move out and live for away from my place. We still keep in touch but just by looking at her, I realized how hard it was for me and I never even once talked to her again ever since. But here I am now, just to make sure she made everything right. Just to check her up,”

 

“And the kiss?”

 

Daniel let out a bitter laughed as he sighed and stood up.

 

“It’s a goodbye kiss,”

 

Seunghyun watched as the man walked away from the restaurant. He doesn’t know how he feels right now, it was all mixed; happy, relieve, shock, everything. He wouldn’t believe everything if it’s not Daniel his self that told him so. All the sincerity on his face explained everything.

 

The brown haired boy put the phone one the table to her ear.

 

“So we have it clear now, Yoong,”

 

Yoona was another witness that night.

 

***

 

Jessica ran after Tiffany when the younger girl pushed her hands that gripped onto her arms and walked away from her. If there were things she hates but if she did it, it will give her everything in the end, it would be running. And if running can get her Tiffany back, she will do it.

 

“Tiffany wait!” she shouted as she wiped away her tears, still running.

 

Tiffany stops and turned back at her, facing her. Jessica can’t describe what look is it on Tiffany’s face. Is it hate or disappoint, or hurt or what? She can’t describe it. Looking at Tiffany right now is more confusing than solving Krystal’s math homework.

 

“Did what I see earlier doesn’t answered my question?” Tiffany asked sharply but her voice was just too soft for a girl who is really mad.

 

“No,” Jessica replied. “You might get it wrong!”

 

“So tell me,” Tiffany crossed her arms.

 

“It was a goodbye kiss,” she said slowly, Tiffany’s stare hasn’t changes. “I thought he gonna dragged me back to the states but he is not.”

 

Jessica let out a heavy sighs and she walked closer to Tiffany. She grabbed the younger girl’s arm yet again and looking at the red head’s eyes. Just to make sure that Tiffany can get her right, just to make sure Tiffany saw all the sincere in her eyes.

 

“Daniel wanted to make sure I’m doing well,” Jessica waited for Tiffany’s question but there’s none, so she continued. “I left him two years ago when I asked him to divorce me and he never wanted to see me again after our second meeting after divorce. He was a very understanding men I ever known for the rest of my life and I really thanked him for it,”

 

Tiffany eyed the brunette girl in front of her. She doesn’t have any idea at what Jessica’s talking is about. She was asking for an explanation for the kiss and here she is explained for another thing and praise her Daniel Henney. Jessica continued anyway.

 

“But it’s not the point,” 

 

Jessica scooted closer to Tiffany, hugging her slowly just to make sure Tiffany won’t reject the hug. Tiffany stay still, she let Jessica hug her and the warmth Jessica body gave her once again make her relaxed. Tiffany exhaled, fighting the urge to not hug the older girl back.

 

“Don’t you curious why I asked him to divorce me?” Jessica pulled away s little and looking at the brown wondering orbs. She cupped Tiffany’s cheek and smiled warmly.

 

“You. It was you all this time,”

 

***

 

 

Yoona sat on the green grass when Seunghyun throwing stones to the Han river. Seunghyun narrow his eyes when he glanced up to the sun that’s almost disappear. He looked up to the orange sky before he turned around and sat beside the deer eyed girl. 

 

“He is a nice man,” Yoona said. “It’ll be very hard for him to accept that Jessica is a gay,”

 

“Yes he is,” The boy looked at Yoona with a smile. “Do you feel lighter without all the responsibility on our shoulder? I mean, we can finally see Tiffany happy from now on,”

 

Yoona chuckled. “So you’re tired to cheer her up? That was mean,”

 

Both of them laughed. A beautiful smile adorned the girl’s face which made her more beautiful then she already does.

 

“We’re really happy for you,”

 

***

 

 

Tiffany peeled her eyes when the sunrays hit her eyes blindly. She looked around, the windows that she barely opened was now wide open with its soft blue curtain dancing along the wind, the alarm clock that dimmed the time softly wasn’t the thing she used to wake up to. The red head smiled and looked at her right side. 

 

The smile on her face grew wider at the time Jessica opened her eyes and rubbed it cutely. Tiffany leaned closer and touched their noses together. The older girl smiled and placed her arms on Tiffany’s neck.

 

“Good morning,” Jessica greet with a kiss on Tiffany’s lips.

 

 

The serene face of each other’s sleeping figures will be one things from many that they gonna shared for more than five years ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n: so how is it? a comment? it's a faster update this time heheh. oh hey, please drop all the formalities. just call me Meg :D