PART III

 

 

 

Jiyeon’s protest was the first thing that came to Jessica’s ear one early morning day when she saw both Jessica and Tiffany walks along the hallway together and to their class that was far from starting. Jessica had to deal with all Jiyeon’s whines about stealing her crush without telling her first that Jessica also has the same feeling like Jiyeon did to Tiffany.

Jessica denied it. She said she was only helping Tiffany until the left hand fully healed but Jiyeon didn’t buy it. Whine after whine and then Jiyeon finally settle down. The girl heaved tiredly as she crossed her arms and pouted cutely, said that was okay if they liked each other and she decided to find another crush and left Tiffany behind. The younger girl left the two of them madly blush.

Day after day, hours after hours, minutes after minutes and seconds after seconds, Jessica spends every tickling of clock together with Tiffany and the same thing goes to the other girl. Jessica waits for Tiffany in front of their university gate every morning, walks together on the hallway if they had the same class and if they weren’t, Jessica had to walks Tiffany to her class before she herself rushed to her own. Tiffany said walked her to her class was unnecessary but like always, Jessica insist.

Tiffany was like becoming Jessica’s part before she went home. They eats at the same table with Yoona, Yuri, Sooyoung, Sunny and sometimes Jiyeon ― the girl has different time of break since she’s their junior, they talks and laughs and do stupid things together and etc etc etc. People said Tiffany became more friendly and cheerful since that day Jessica decided to be her left hand and Jessica, well, she became more cheerful than she already is.

They loved the socializing Tiffany.

Sooyoung said they got that charm. Tiffany and Jessica didn’t know what that means but Sooyoung said it was in a good way. And when Yoona and Yuri agreed about how great Tiffany and Jessica when they’re together, the two girls had to changes the topic and hide their flushing face.

They might argue much.

But at least they have the same way of thinking when Sunny asked them

“Are you two lovers?”

“We are not!!”

And blushed again after that.

Their group of friends had to hide their amused smile when the two girl’s faces became red every time they answered the same questions.

 

But when everything just became so cute in everyone’s eyes, they day when Tiffany’s left hand fully healed came. Jessica said she only became Tiffany’s left hand until it healed and now since it does, she didn’t have any reason to keep on sticking to the other girl. And in the other hand, Tiffany has the same thoughts about it. She also didn’t have any reason to keep on sticking with Jessica and made the girl do things for her again.

This is the time for her to stand on her own feet again. Right?

Both of them feel unsure but once Tiffany walks to the building without Jessica waiting for her in front of the gate that one day, she made up her mind to revert to her old self.

There at the other side of the hallway, Jessica stood in front of her locker with Yuri. She watched when Tiffany grabbed some books from her locker and closed it before she walks away and vanished when she stepped in her class. Yuri saw that hurt look on her friend’s face but choose to let it away when Jessica walks first to their class.

***

 

Tiffany pulled out her sketch book and placed it on her lap. She opened it and stared at the drawing she drew for the past two years. Tiffany traced her fingers to the hard surface and smiled to herself. It’s been a while since she talks to the girl she draw on her sketch book. She cannot deny the growing lump on her chest that screams missing really bothered her.

She might promise herself to not let anyone in into her life again but who’s she to control feelings. God?

She sighed heavily as she leaned onto the tree and she closed her eyes. Let every expression and smiles and pouts and stares or even glares of the certain girl pouring into her vision once again. That girl was really annoying and demanding at first, but her presences gave Tiffany comforts more than anything she’s been through.

Tiffany hugged her sketched book.

“Jessica…..”

***

 

“Don’t you miss her?”

Yoona propped her head with her palm as she looks at the direction Jessica’s been looking at since couple minutes ago. The older girl looked back at her.

“Tiffany. Don’t you miss her?”

Jessica sighs, never let her eyes looking at somewhere else as if afraid if she took a slight look at Yoona, Tiffany will vanished to thin air. Jessica bit her lips as she answered the question softly. Her fingers play with the hem of her tee.

“I am.”

Startled, Yoona, Yuri, Sooyoung and Jiyeon changing glances to one another. It was a rare moment when Jessica honest with her true feelings especially when she missed someone aside her family member. The other four girls looked back at Jessica as they straightened their sit. This might be a serious problem.

Sooyoung cleared . “Then why don’t you talk to her? Or at least… say hi?”

“I’m afraid it’ll annoy her.”

Jessica’s head lifted up as Tiffany stood up from her seat and when the brown head started to walks away, Jessica’s head follow suit the other girl. She sighed when Tiffany turned and vanished from her sight. Jessica looks down her feet.

“Are you… okay?” Yuri asked carefully.

“I don’t know.”

“You missed her that bad, aren’t you? You missed her that’s hurt.” Jiyeon now speaks as she touch Jessica’s arm and squeeze it lightly.

Jessica sighed again before she turned around to face her friends.

“I’m so screwed, yes?”

Four of them shook their heads fast, Yoona waved her hands and Jiyeon even messed her hair ― Sooyoung helped her fixed it. Yuri titled her head when she gets a hold of Jessica’s hand.

“No you’re not. It’s okay to miss someone real bad. All you need is just talk to her and make everything like it used to.”

“We used to be like this.”

Jessica frowned by the image of her old self with Tiffany, acted like they didn’t know each other. That somehow hurts her. She clutched her chest and gulped down the lump of bitter feeling.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

***

 

It went for another week and the distance between Jessica and Tiffany was unbearable. It’s not like both of them like it becoming like that, they were just having the same thoughts if one of them approached the other one, it might annoyed either one of them. But the truth is, nor Jessica and Tiffany can went through the day without glancing to one another for every several seconds.

So that rainy day Jessica decided to beg Jiyeon to make the younger girl approached Tiffany once more and studied how the brown head reacted to it ― it’s not like Jiyeon gonna refused it but Jessica came with that hopeful and pouty lips and that puppy eyes the younger girl didn’t even have a heart to refuse.

When jiyeon make her move, Jessica, Yoona, Yuri and Sooyoung hide behind the wall not far from the locker and stood there stiff ― as stiff as a beam ― and keep their mouth shut. For once in eternity, they ― finally ― manage to become quiet, quiet as in really really quiet.

Jessica gulped when Jiyeon started to speak.

“It’s been a while! How are you doing? Are you doing great?” There Jiyeon with sparkling eyes which almost blinded Tiffany.

“Yeah yeah Jiyeon, doing just great.” Come the bored answer.

“How’s classes? I heard you got highest score in your drawing class. That’s awesome! Can I see your drawing?”

“No.”

“Aww~ why? What did you draw then?”

There’s a silent for a moment. Only a ruffling sound on the background and Jiyeon’s breathing ― probably Jiyeon’s breathing, it could be anything else.

“Elephant.”

Jessica doesn’t know why but her heart skipped a beat after hearing the answer. Sooyoung spare a knowing glance at her.

“Elephant? Why elephant?”

“Because… I like elephant.”

There Jessica’s breath stopped. Her head spinning and her eyes cannot focus on anything even when Yuri had to pull her a little so Tiffany cannot see them when the girl walked away or even Jiyeon’s face when the girl giving her ‘information’, all of it was in a complete blur.

Tiffany’s smiling and laughing face suddenly comes to her mind and she remember how she loved it when the eyes curved into crescent moon and maybe Tiffany’s stare, maybe she loved the girl’s stare also. How can a Tiffany Hwang bothered her this much?

“So it was nothing as in really nothing?”

“Yeah nothing. She was just being her I guess.”

“Maybe you don’t see it ye― Hey Jessica where are you going??”

Even without explanation or maybe without letting her brain working a little bit longer to tell her why she’s running outside the building just now, Jessica doesn’t care. All she had in mind were Tiffany’s face and the feeling of how hurt her heart will became if she didn’t do this.

Jessica run as fast as she can though she’s not really a fast runner she still manage to move her oh-so-wobbly legs until its maximum. She still realized a little boy run pass by her though but― OH WHO CARES JUST RUN ALREADY!

She sees Tiffany’s back when the other girl walked her way through the street with her right hand tucked onto her jean’s pocket and the once fractured left hand holding her duffle bag strap lazily. A smile managed its way to Jessica’s face.

“Tiffany! Wait!”

The said girl stops and looked to behind her shoulder and lifted her eyebrows when she saw Jessica running after her. She turned around completely and watched the panting girl in front of her. Jessica wiped the sweat on her temple.

“Jessica?” Tiffany titled her head. “Is everything… okay? I guess?”

Jessica exhale a heavy breath and she looked at Tiffany’s confused face. She founds it adorable so she steps forward. She felt excited.

“Uh… yeah. I mean no. No no I mean yes.”

A tentative nods. “O..kay…”

So Jessica was thinking once again; why does she run and called Tiffany? Which make the other girl stops and turns around and questioned her with a question she didn’t know what the answer. Jessica bit her lips.

“S-so… your left hand is okay?”

Tiffany looked at her left hand that holding the bag strap and nodded. It healed completely.

“Yes.”

“T-that’s… that’s good.” Jessica nodded.

Both fell silent and…

 

Awkward.

 

Tiffany cleared when she guess’ Jessica wouldn’t say anything else, which ― maybe ― she hopped Jessica will say any other thing.

“So… anything else?”

“Uh… no, I think.”

“Okay then… See you.”

With a wave on her hand, Tiffany turned around and walks away from Jessica. There when Jessica saw Tiffany’s back facing her as the girl walks further away from her, something hit her. She realized something very important, the reason why she run after Tiffany and called the girl.

 

Her heart ached without the brown head girl.

 

“Tiffany wait!”

Tiffany stops again and turns to look at Jessica.

The brunette haired girl gulped and exhaled a good amount of air as she gathered all the courage she had in herself.

“Don’t you miss me?”

Tiffany eyed her confusedly. This time really really confuse.

“Huh?”

“We stop talking to each other and you don’t miss me?”

Tiffany opened and about to speak when Jessica continued.

“Because I miss you.”

The other girl was a loss of words as she eyed the girl in front of her. This crazy bossy girl came from nowhere and tells her that she missed her.

It was like a cat just got her tongue when she find it hard to even utter an ‘a’ or even an ‘oh’. Did tiffany losing again? Even when they’re not arguing?

 “Listen, I don’t know what they’re called ― the spaces between seconds ― but I think of you always in those intervals.”

The wind greets them both, it sends chills but the two girl that staring at each other doesn’t seem feeling it. Even the people pass by, they don’t seeing them. It was only Tiffany’s eyes that Jessica sees and it was only Jessica’s awaiting and hopefully one that Tiffany sees.

And the girl with leather jacket straightened her position and gained her composure. Tiffany looked up to the sky before she looked back to the girl in front of her. She walks closer to Jessica and took a fallen old leave on Jessica’s hair.

“Okay.”

The look on Jessica’s face was priceless when she titled her head to one side.

“If you’re just confessing then my answer is okay.”

***

 

Jiyeon’s jealousy was the thing that Yuri sure cannot count as describable. It’s been one month since Jessica and Tiffany dating each other. Though tiffany might look cool with anything intimacy Jessica did to her, the look on her eyes when the brown head looking at Jessica was beyond anything perfect. It was like pouring every little pieces of sweetness into the eyes and gave it to Jessica alone.

How was that possible to Jiyeon to not whine?

But the younger girl however doesn’t seem mind it since she promised herself and Jessica to let her feeling for Tiffany go away completely and let the older girl to peacefully being extremely close to Jessica. Jessica is a nice girl ― though she’s a little bit bossy ― but she’s okay, and Jiyeon look at Jessica like she’s her own sister.

The young girl may be a little bit whiney when Jessica and Tiffany staring at each other like a newlywed couple or even doing all lovey dovey and Jessica clinging onto Tiffany every time, but Tiffany picking up Jessica every morning and walked the brunette girl home was another story. Jiyeon was so much envy and she was like

“GRAHH!! I SHOULDN’T LET BOTH OF YOU DATING!! TIFFANY IS SO ROMANTIC I CANNOT!!!!”

And some moments later when she sees how gentle Tiffany became when she takes care of Jessica, she’ll be like

“Oh my god they’re so good together I’ll not make them apart even just a slight bit second.”

And Yoona had to protested

“You’re such a moron bipolar.”

Or

“Do you know why it’s sounds so psycho? It’s you.”

So later that afternoon after Jessica finished her last class ― Tiffany waits for her for almost four hours ― they both decided to go home since Tiffany says she has some homework to finished tonight. Jessica cling onto Tiffany’s arm when the brown haired girl walks her home like usual.

“Tiff.”

Tiffany answered it with nuzzling on Jessica’s hair. The other girl smiles when her face flushing pink and her holds on Tiffany’s hand tightened.

“It’s been seven months, don’t you feel like we’re kind of special in some kind of way already?”

“Aren’t we already special from the beginning?”

“We are?”

“Yeah! Bet there are few girls met their soul mates at night fighting with the thugs. Didn’t I charming much that night?”

“Oh my god so much! I fall for you at that very moment!” Jessica said with such twinkling dreamy eyes and bright smile and oh-so-fangirl like voice.

Tiffany showed her girlfriend a goofy grin as she looking at Jessica happily.

“Really? You fall for me from that night?”

“Yeah! Especially if you ride white Pegasus with armor and sword on your waist. Oh god, can you imagine how snow white I became?”

Jessica’s dreamy face dropped to a face palmed one. She can’t believe herself at why Tiffany can’t seem to at least be serious even just a little. She once thought that Tiffany is a deep thinker, do everything in a very cool way ― since her face is very supporting. But this brown head moron with her finally-washed-every-two-days leather jacket is just a… a total silly not so charming girlfriend.

She slapped Tiffany’s arm. “I am being serious, Tiff!”

“Ouch! okay okay I’m sorry.” Tiffany chuckled and she ruffled Jessica’s hair. “What about it again hm?”

“Whatever, we’re here already.” Jessica said as she looked up to her shared condo with Yoona and Yuri.

“Do you wanna come in?”

Tiffany tucked one hand onto her pocket and the other holding her bag strap. She smiled at Jessica.

“Not today.”

Jessica nodded. She walks closer to Tiffany and wrapped her arms around the brown head’s waist, her face on Tiffany’s neck.

It went for a little while when Jessica finally pulled away and kissed Tiffany on the cheek. Jessica feels like a five grades for the kiss, but she can’t force Tiffany more when the other girl said ‘a kiss on the lips may trouble you.”.

It was a bit hurting her feeling but it was okay. Maybe Tiffany needs some times since she was a loner before and she may not open up yet to anyone. Everything needs time, yes?

Jessica caresses the face of her girlfriend and she smile sweetly.

“Go home safely.”

“Yes ma’am. See you tomorrow.”

With that, the girl walked down the street as she waved and smiles at Jessica for once in a while.

***

 

“You’re my favorite in my class, Tiffany. I expect the best from you.”

With the last bow, Tiffany heaved heavily as she watched Mr. Yoo walked further the hallway. She scratches her head and lowered her head when Jessica’s hand slipped to hold hers. The other girl titled her head at Tiffany as she sighed.

“Let’s go eat first.”

They sat at their usual table with Yoona and Yuri while Jiyeon has no class today and Sooyoung has to go home earlier because Sunny needs her help for the guests they have at their home.

Jessica patted Tiffany’s head worriedly when the girl buried her face onto her arms on the table like what she did during Mr. Yoo’s class. She massage the brown head as she pouted and placed her chin on Tiffany’s shoulder, her other hand holding on to her girlfriend’s leather jacket.

“Is she alright?” Yuri concerned from across the table. “I have aspirin if you want.”

Tiffany waved her hand for an answer which made the tanned girl looked at Jessica worriedly. Jessica straightened her sit with one hand still massaging Tiffany’s head.

“She said it was just insomnia. She even sleeps during Mr. Yoo’s class, how bad is that?”

“Maybe you should take her home.” Yoona commented.

“I have additional class ‘till 8 this afternoon.” Jessica said frowned.

“Oh that’s bad. Excuse me, I have yet another class now. Are you coming, baby?”

Yoona nodded and reached to Yuri’s awaiting hand as she stood up. Both walked away with the last get well soon and sleep early for Tiffany before they walked out from the cafeteria. There, Jessica only looked at Tiffany when steady breathing greeted her again.

How long had it been? One or two weeks since Tiffany becoming a sleepy head like this. Sleeps during classes mostly and if she didn’t sleeps, it’s a big possibility for the brown head to dozed off all day long. It irks Jessica to no end but also she pitied her girlfriend.

“Tiffany.”

“…..”

“Hey.”

“.....”

Jessica sighed. “You go home first, don’t wait for me today.”

Tiffany peeks from behind her arms with her red eyes.

“You really are lack of sleeps do you?”

A wide yawn, a nod and a stretch before Tiffany finally fixate her sleepy gaze on Jessica. She rubbed her eyes sometimes and she mumbled.

Jessica sighed again as she fixed Tiffany’s messy hair. “Did something happen?”

Tiffany shook her head. “Insomnia? Yes.”

“You look more tired than sleepy.”

“Insomnia tiring me, Jess.” This time Tiffany’s turn to sighed. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Then sleep more when you don’t have morning classes, don’t pick me up in the morning.”

“No.” Tiffany yawned. “It’s okay.”

“Look at you now, Tiff. I can go by myself.”

“What’s that means?”

“Means you have to sleep properly.” Jessica said looking at Tiffany’s eyes worriedly. “You could get sick you know that?”

Tiffany fell quiet for a moments, she stared at Jessica with unreadable eyes and Jessica feel uncomfortable because of it.

“What am I to you?”

Jessica lifted her eyebrow. “What?”

“Just answer, what am I to you?”

Jessica cleared , groggy all of sudden.

“Y-you’re my girlfriend. Why asking?”

“Well, you’re spring season for my winter. Winter is never been my favorite so count spring as my favorite,” Tiffany flicks Jessica’s nose bridge. “I’ll pick you up every morning.”

***

 

Jessica finished her class only to find Tiffany sleeping soundly on the bench on the hallway. The girl had her face covered with her bag and her legs crossing in an uncomfortable way. Jessica smiled at the view and squatted to Tiffany’s eye level. She grabbed the duffle bag and poke Tiffany’s nose. The girl stirred in her sleep.

Jessica chuckled.

“Hey wake up, don’t you wanna go home?”

Hearing Jessica’s voice, the sleeping girl peels open her eyes and smiled at her girlfriend when her vision becoming clear. Jessica helped her stood up and nuzzled their noses.

“I love you.”

Tiffany gulped but smiled tenderly when Jessica whispered but doesn’t say it back to the other girl. She holds onto Jessica’s hand and squeezed it instead.

“Let’s go home.”

***

 

Jessica is not sure herself since when she’s becoming very attracted to Tiffany, she doesn’t sure why her heart hurting when Tiffany didn’t say it back ― every time Tiffany didn’t say it back. She didn’t get any proper sleep last night. Every time she closed her eyes, the image of Tiffany walking away from her became even clearer than it should be.

Does she take it too fast?

Should she take it slower?

She shook her head. Whatever they’re right now, whatever relationship they were in, doesn’t kissing only on the cheek counted as child-like? Doesn’t saying ‘I love you’ is a must? Well, it was at least what Jessica was thinking.

It’s been seven months and four days but Tiffany never says anything that makes Jessica feel secure ― feels like she’s having Tiffany or vise versa.

Doesn’t Tiffany only hers?

Didn’t she want her also that’s why she was agreeing?

 

Unless…

 

“Feels sorry…?”

It chokes her breathing. It feels like she finally came to a realization that never crossed her mind before. Tiffany was agreeing because she’s feeling sorry for her? No less no more?

Jessica take a deep breath when her heart become heavy, she closed her eyes and bit her lips.

Tiffany was a good girl, right? She wouldn’t do such thing to her.

“But it’s been seven fcukin months.” Jessica growled to herself. “Seven months with nothing. Who are you kidding, Jessica Jung.”

She looked at her phone, the light glimmered on the bed beside her, another messages from Tiffany after she ignores the other twenty five. She has to convince her own self before she speaks to the girl again. That moment earlier at the campus might be an unimportant thing but it does left more pain than it should be.

Jessica rammed her head on the wooden headboard as finally warm tears escaped from her eyes.

 

The thought of break up fill her mind.

 

 

 

TBC

 

 

a/n: it's gonna be 4 parts LOL!! sorry if it takes too long, i'm on my mid term weeks > <
how's the 3rd part? Comment allowed guuuuuys :DDDD
oh and the 4th part is.... 85% in progress :D hope it wouldn't take too long heheh
sorry for the errors >////<