a/n: oh look who's here again lol. this is not my best fic, no i dont put many effort when writing this one. it was happened when i open word and idek when i was started typing things ._. so i'm sorry if this is not that good and you're not satisfied :/ well, the ending is not like what i wanted and it didn't supposed to end like that. i mean... i dont even know why i wrote the ending like that OTL fail me sorry. and... the title... i think is not suited the story... LMAO i'm just so sorry with this failed update but i hope you still can enjoy it >////<

It was Yuri – the cheerleader captain everybody wanted to be friend with or even to be a girlfriend with, a perfect girlfriend, a perfect mother to your child, a perfect wife to take care of you. Who doesn’t want her? No one was the perfect answer for that, even gay would turns their life upside down for her. Yes, she’s that perfect, that alluring and all. But as people said, there’s nothing perfect in this world. Physically, every girl wanted her perfect curved body, her toned abs, her long legs, her slender fingers, or even her jet black hair that exactly suited her tanned skin.

That’s not the way I looked at her though. Not that perfect, not that national-daughter-in-law image that everyone said. She’s different and Yuri hates it. The tanned girl doesn’t like boys for some case, not really fond of the creature they said man. No, Yuri prefers to be the dominance. In some point, I respect her.

It was okay and going all fine until one day, Tiffany happened. My all time crush was dating Kwon Yuri, the everyone ideal type. No one is brave enough to be against her. She has everything; money, authority, all as in everything. What do you think I can do when they started dating each other? Nothing, right?

So I just sat there on the bench with Taeyeon who had her arm circling my shoulder, her other hand supported her body on the back. I crossed my legs as I watched Yuri and Tiffany from afar, doing that lovey dovey with Tiffany’s laughter as the back sound. Sooyoung inhaling her cigarette as she tucked her hand on her jacket’s pocket.

“Disgusting, isn’t it? The perfect human being is actually a gay,” She scoffed, blowing the smoke and whirled her cigarette in between her fingers.

Taeyeon shifted on her seat as she looked at the taller girl. “It’s not like she chose to be like that. We talked about this all the time and I’m getting sick of it,”

Sooyoung sighed and looking up to Yuri and Tiffany again who happened to feeding each other cotton candy. I gulped down my jealousy as I stared deep onto my feet, finding it more interesting than the couple on the soccer field. If I talked to her or even make a move faster than Yuri did, would she be mine now? Sat her with me holding my hand?

“And here I thought she will never showing it, that she’s gay and so in love with that Hwang,” Sooyoung groaned.

We are best pal, four of us. Me, Yuri, Taeyeon and Sooyoung. Everybody wanted to be friend us but they said it’s hard enough to be close to even one of us. Everybody know us, everybody adored us, but as you see now, Yuri has the best shine amongst all of us, it will be always Yuri this, Yuri that. It’s not like we mind it, we are happy for what it is that’s also made her happy. But maybe Sooyoung always look at Yuri in a more special way, in a more… better way than this, than what she is right now. Sooyoung never liked it in the first place not like Taeyeon who always be the open minded one, Sooyoung always complained at how Yuri express her love for her girlfriend.

“She deserve better than this,” Sooyoung stepped on her cigarette.

“Enough, Soo. It’s her life, she chose it and you can do nothing but watch. You’re the passenger not the driver of her life,” Taeyeon stood up and leave both of us in an awkward silence for the next 30 minutes until Yuri and Tiffany walked towards us hand in hand.

My heart hurt at the view.

***

“Hi,” Tiffany waved at me with a simple smile on her face. I smiled back at her and stood beside her sitting figure.

“Waiting for Yul?” Tiffany nodded her head. “She’ll be out soon,”

I watched her fingers playing with her wristband. It was from Yuri. The pink unicorn wristband was the one I chose when Yuri asked me which one she should buy for Tiffany a week ago. The younger girl seems liked it at the way she keep on looking at it and the way her lips curled upwards to a beautiful smile.

“Yuri told me you helped her chose the wristband,” She looked up at me, her simple smile took away my breath little by little. I like the smile, I like her smile. I like her, I just love her.

“Yea,” I nodded a little, drifting away my gaze from her just in case I fall for the same hole I tried to cover 7 months ago when Yuri and Tiffany started dating.

“I liked it. Thank you,”

She tapped my hand before she stood up when Yuri appeared from the changing room. If a little skinship can kill, maybe I would be dead just now. I can even feel her soft skin when our skin made a slight contact or how her manicured nails scratch the skin of my hands slightly. All of it sends me an electric shocked through my body.

I cannot be like this, she’s my best friend’s girlfriend after all.

“See you around, Jess,”

Jess

***

It took 1 year and 4 months until Tiffany decided that Yuri’s friends are also her friends, well best friends in this case. Sooyoung never liked her in the first place but I swore she tried hard enough to not mad at Tiffany whenever she tried to be all friendly with her. I felt a little bit guilty when I looked at Sooyoung’s face at the time she tried to get along well with everything Yuri set up to. It was crazy for her, it was hard for her even though it’s not her life that ruined but Yuri’s. Yuri will plead to Soyoung when the younger girl about to quits everything and stay away from her if she is still with Tiffany, if she’s still like this.

“I can’t! it’s not like I don’t understand her, it’s more about they doing lovey dovey, all touchy, clingy, stuffs! I cannot handle it, I’m not into girls and watching girl dating with other girl is disgust me!”

Well it’s not her fault, nor Yuri’s.

I thought it will never turned out like this before, Sooyoung leave the group and choose to hang out with me and Taeyeon without Yuri. And I never thought Sooyoung’s leaving with distracted Yuri more when she had fight with Tiffany. It’s all messed up, everything is messed up.

It was one day when I and Taeyeon decided to ditching class when we saw a very confusing view in the art class. It was Yuri and Sooyoung kissing, it was never this confusing before everything turns clicked when Taeyeon whispered her sane words.

“Soo, you ,”

I shocked by the view when Taeyeon pushed me back and dragged me to the roof. All I can see in my view is just them kissing before it changed to the face of Tiffany.

Tiffany.

Does she know this?

***

I was never felt so bothered watching Yuri and Tiffany holding hands and giggling nonsense before. It’s not like the first time I seeing it, I watched them like this for the last 1 year and I never felt like punched Yuri on her face before. It was beyond mad, Yuri is a mad girl with a mad teenager’s hormones and I don’t like it. The next thing I realize is Taeyeon calling my name when I leave the roof top and slammed the door as hard as I can.

Tiffany…

***

“And here I think you’re a straight ,”

“What?”

“Does kissing a girl in the art room consider as a straight?”

“Sica-yah…”

“Excuse me?”

“So kissing Yuri is considered as straight, yes?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh you know what I’m talking about Choi Sooyoung. You, you were kissing Yuri in the art room. She has girlfriend and she is your ing friend! Why did you do that!?”

There’s no answer from the taller girl, she was just sit there, hands balled into fists without even looking at me. Taeyeon patted me on my shoulder and turned me around, led me to leave the tense room but I remained still.

“All the bulls you told us that you’re pretty sick of Yuri being gay is just a plain jealousy am I right? You’re a fake coward Choi Sooyoung. You’re fake and you hide that spoiled ulcer behind your stupid acting like we wouldn’t know it anytime soon,”

Taeyeon patted my shoulder and nodded in understanding once again as she turned me around, led me to leave the room which I follow gratefully. I was about to stepped out from the room fully when Sooyoung finally spoke.

“And I believe it’s not the reason for your anger. It’s Tiffany isn’t it? You always had a crush on that nerd,”

I stopped. Taeyeon sighed beside me and secretly waited for my answer. So I turned around slightly before answer the question with a smirk.

“No, I don’t have a crush on her. I loved her,”

With that I leave the shocked Sooyoung in the room and the smiling Taeyeon.

***

It has been more than 6 years I know the tanned girl but I never saw her this miserable. Her leather jacket that draped on her body doesn’t look as good as usual despite her face that’s clutter in confusion. All the misery drawn on her face emitted a gloomy aura not as usual and I’m sorry for it. I tossed her a soft drink can as I sat beside her at the lonely bench of the park near my apartment.

I didn’t take a look at her since she called me 10 minutes ago nor talked to her back on the phone. It’s not like I hated her for cheating from Tiffany, but it’s really made me sick. She and Sooyoung were no different, both of them are fakes and I hate the fact that I stopped talking to her since the day I had an argument with Sooyoung two weeks ago.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t-“

“Save it. Said it to Tiffany, not me,”

“She won’t listen to me anymore,”

There’s a cold awkward silent as I tossed the empty can to the trash bin and ended up landing on the ground instead.

“I tried to call her but she won’t pick up. Maybe… maybe if you can help me to call her she can-“

“It’s your problem, not me,”

“I’ll send you her address,”

And I leave Yuri with all the misery she has.

For the first time of my life, I don’t respect Yuri as I used to anymore.

***

I looked up to the clock that hanging on the brown wall. The house looks fancy and cozy with all the expensive furniture. Leather couch sat lonely in front of a 30 inch television on the second floor and a bookshelf stood boringly beside the big television. I knocked the door again but still nothing – no one – answering me from the other side of the room.

“Will you open the door please? It’s Jessica,” I said softly. “It’s creepy here. Your house is big and your parents and siblings just going out 45 minutes ago,”

45 minutes and 38 seconds I’ve been standing and knocking the door of Tiffany’s room waiting for the owner to at least yell at me from the inside. But none of it heard. My legs are hurt for stood up for so long so I just slid down the wall and sat on the door with my legs crossed, eyes wandering the huge house.

“Your house is nice. Not really boring, but the single couch is,” I chuckled a bit. “Hey do you mind if I borrow you a book or two? It’s dusty and I think you’re not as nerd as everyone said you are,”

I stood up and walked to the bookshelf. Good books she has, most of them are romance and some are fictions. Twilight saga books are in the front line which made it so noticeable. Harry Potter series and other like Sherlock Holmes were sat at the top of the shelf. There are some Meg Cabot’s books and some oth-

“If there are things I do besides doing all Yuri’s chemistry homework it would be Twilight Saga,”

I turned around and smile to the girl standing not far behind me. Her puffy red eyes were so visible which make me walked closer towards the frowning girl and lifted her chin with my finger. Tiffany looking at me in the eyes and I can’t help but caress her cheek with my thumb as I smiled softly at her. If there’s thing that’s deserves a good cost of make me leaving Yuri and Sooyoung as my best friends, it would be this girl. The girl I crushed on since the first day I transferred to the university.

Her eyes are nothing but hurtful, betrayal and disappointment. I opened my arms and let her hugged me there, lend her my shoulders to cry on and gave her the warmth of my body to ease every pain that she felt just now.

And she sobs there without letting me go home until the next morning.

***

Taeyeon is the only friend I got when I deciding to leave Yuri and Sooyoung that day. Well this Taeyeon is more than enough than to have two stupid fake friends like the other two tall girls. I can’t ask more for a good friend but Hyoyeon and Yoona would be a very good combination to fill in the empty slot. I had two more friends and losing the other two fakes was all worth it. They’re all open minded not to mention too glad for every happy thing that happened.

“So guys, I have this ridiculous physics’ class and I think I don’t want to have another F for this class for the umpteenth time, so see you!”

“Hyo, wait for me! See you after classes Unnies!”

“What? You are in the same class as me!? YOU’RE JOKING RIGHT!?”

Taeyeon chuckled when the two troublemakers vanished behind the glasses door. She stepped on her cigarette and fixed her blonde hair before stood up. The short girl grinned at me and Tiffany, English dictionary in one hand while the other holding her phone.

“English class,” she shrugged. “I’m pretty much improving there. See ya Sica! See ya Ppany!” Taeyeon Jogged and waved her hand before she pushed the glass door and made her way to the building.

“And she said she improving in English,”

I looked at Tiffany and the other girl laughed with her eyes disappeared into crescents. I turned around completely at her and sipped my mango juice.

“So, tell me,” I shifted on my seat as I eyed her. “The pink unicorn wristband is still there. You’re that in love with her or something?”

Tiffany looked at her wrist and then she smiled bitter. The red head combed her hair with her hand, a smile made its way to her lips.

“I told you to stop talking about her,”

I shrugged. Well, how come I not when I still can found the wristband Yuri gave her two years ago was still neatly beautifully placed there on her wrist. The color even faded a little bit signaling that she didn’t even take it off when she takes shower I can tell. So why is it? Why is it so hard for her to forget Yuri?

“It’s hard to not with that thing on your wrist,”

Tiffany didn’t make any comment so I decided to stand up and walked away from her to the back of the building. I heard her footsteps behind me, telling that she’s tailing me again. I took out my cigarette from my jacket pocket and flicked the lighter as I inhaling it and blow the smoke soon after.

“I told you to stop smoking,”

I rolled my eyes as I keep on walking, ignoring her. I was about to take my second smoke when suddenly a hand snapped up my last cigarette and threw it on the ground. I looked at the girl who stepped on it like about to blowing her head by the look in my eyes. Instead of afraid of my glare Tiffany looking at me challenging.

“What the hell is your problem!? That’s my last cigarette!”

“I told you to stop smoking!”

“That’s not your business! It’s my life and you don’t have rights to control it!”

“It is my business!”

“O yea? Who are you to me then? Huh? You’re no one. Just some random girl who can’t even move on from her ex that happened cheating behind your back with her best friend,”

As soon as I said it, as soon I regretted saying it. The look on Tiffany’s face make my heart sank so deep. I can’t tell if it hurt or shock or disappointment or the mixed of all of it but it sure make me felt guilty all over my body. I bit my lips as I looked away; saving my pride to say sorry to her. Tiffany frowned deeply before she looked down her feet. I next thing I heard was her sobs and I really cursed my stupid blabbering for it.

“No one, huh?”

Moron Jessica Jung!!!

I groaned and I looked at her. She was looking away as her tears flowing down her face. She bit her lower lip to muffle the sobs which is failed. I walked closer and I hold her hand but she jerked it away.

“I- I’m sorry, I- didn’t mean to. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’m really-“

“It’s not always about Yuri,” She said between her sobs. Wiping away her tears and finally looking at me. I gulped.

“I’m not that weak,” She pushed me with her index finger. “Why are you always bring Yuri and ended up us fighting about that nonsense?”

I keep quiet, looking anywhere but her.

“I hate Yuri and you should know that. We’ve been together for 10 months and you still had that stupid jealousy! I love you and you know that! Look at me Jessica Jung!”

I looked at her frowning, feeling all guilty. Yes, we’ve been dating for the past 10 months but I just can’t take it with the wristband Yu-

“I still wear this wristband because it reminds me of you. You were the one chose it for me two years ago. You know my favorite color and you even know I liked unicorn that much,” She paused for awhile as she hold onto my hand, dragging me closer to her. She bit her lip again. “I wear it because it’s you who chose it for me. Not Yuri,”

I closed my eyes as I frowned even deeply and I grasped her tightly before pulled her into a tight protective hug. I place my hand on her waist and the other on her head and I kissed her head repeatedly.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry,”

“I’ve been liking you even before I met Yuri but you never notice it don’t you?”

I snapped my eyes open and I pushed her in shock. I look into her eyes and I can’t find the teasing Tiffany, I can’t find the playful Tiffany, I can only find a sincere eyes that’s staring right onto my soul and I can’t help but feel those butterflies on my stomach.

“Y- You what?”

“I like you even before you notice I’m there,”

“So why are you dating Yuri?? Geez why don’t you let me know?? Stupid! Stupid Tiffany!”

“What? Why me? You’re the one wearing pants in our relationship and you should be noticing it first you silly!”

“Wearing what?? Since when I agree to that??”

“Since I said yes 10 months ago,”

“You didn’t tell me it’s including that agreement!”

Tiffany shrugged. “Wearing pants or not you’re still my favorite,”

She kissed my nose and her hand patted my head. She stared at me lovingly before kissed me deeply on the lips.

“Wait, did you said not wearing pants?”

“ert!”

And from that very moment, I decided to let my girlfriend do the job to taking care of me and my jealousy. I’m her favorite, and I’ll always be her favorite that always keeps on jealous whenever anyone hitting on her.

***

And I find a way back to you
A way back to you,
I once fall in love with you
And I fall again for the second time
With a stronger feeling
With more passion to loving you

-Jessi

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