Part 8

This wasn’t the first time Jessica waited for Sunny to finish her practice, nor Tiffany, and she still didn’t know why on earth waiting for Sunny became her almost-everydays-routine (because the cheerleader need to practice almost every  afternoon for the sake of anything they had in mind).

Maybe it was because of Tiffany, Jessica thought. Or Sunny, because she wouldn’t risk to let em be alone and lets Sunny being all clingy to Tiffany and she didn’t want to find hickeys on Tiffany’s skin the next day. Though, Jessica knew very well they wouldn’t do that.

But it was okay to be suspicious over Sunny, right.

The petite girl jogged her way to her friends  direction, her small hand waved in a cute way that only her could do, her eyes disappeared into crescents ― not as pretty as Tiffany’s but still it was very adorable  ― and smiled widely it almost made Jessica blind.

Sunny sat in front of them on the bleacher then propped her chin, her elbow on Tiffany’s knee.

“Sorry, did you wait long?”

“Kinda, but nevermind, I enjoyed seeing you practicing. You seem so happy whenever you doing it.”

Jessica saw Sunny slapped Tiffany’s head ― was that necessary!? ― and laughed lowly. “You’re just being a ert! You’re totally enjoying me and other girls in this uniform.”

“Bunny please, I don’t have dirty minds like you.” She rubbed her head as she laughed and pushed a cold bottle to Sunny’s cheek. “Clear up your ert mind with this. Your favorite drink.”

The petite one squealed, made that annoying sound that Jessica surely irked at.

“Thanks!” and Kissed Tiffany’s cheek.

“Eww Sunny… you’re full of sweats and uh… smell…” the taller girl wiped off her cheek where Sunny had kissed her and wrinkled her nose.

The girl smiled apologetically then stood up as she drank her favorite drink from Tiffany. And after some minutes sat in silence just watching the duo interacted with all sweetness which made her heart crushed a little, Sunny finally noticed her and smiled at Jessica.

“I’m gonna wash up for a moment wait patiently here okay? You two, don’t’ go anywhere without me.”

Tiffany nodded but Jessica hoped that she could drag Tiffany out from there and have a quality time with the older girl. She rolled her eyes at the small girl who jogged across the field to the locker room.

A creak and Jessica turned her head to looked at Tiffany stood up from the bleacher. Jessica straightened her body, still looking at Tiffany.

“Where are you going?”

“Killing time. Wait here.” She said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

Tiffany took a ball from the basket after choosing which one she will use then started to bounce it to the floor. The sound of ball hitting floor echoed through the empty field.

Jessica couldn’t dart her eyes anywhere else but Tiffany Hwang who was shooting ball to the ring. The older girl never failed to amaze her by the way she became one with the orange ball. She missed seeing Tiffany playing again.

Unbeknowst to her, a frown made it to her face.

How long had it been? 1? 2 years? How could she survived that long by not seeing the girl playing anymore made her taken aback. Tiffany and basketball was something Jessica couldn’t put in words because, well, maybe it was too good, too addictive?

Jessica remembered how Tiffany held the ball, how the girl threw it and made it through the ring and she cheered for that simple moment. Maybe if it wasn’t her nor Yuri back then in high school, the ball might be Tiffany’s best friend for a reason. She loved the way Tiffany handle the ball on her hand when the opponents tried to steal it from her.

It was like protecting something very precious.

The ball was hitting the ring when Sunny took a seat on the bleacher beside Jessica. The girl looked fresh from shower, she smelled nice, didn’t smell like a dead rat anymore.

“She was always this good in high school?”

Jessica smiled to herself, savoring the gushing memories during her high school year. She then hugged her knees.

“She always been. Sometimes I think she was born with it, you know, a gift.”

The girl beside her gave a simple nod as she ran her hand through her short hair. Tiffany made a shot from the three point line when Jessica opened again to ask Sunny.

“I thought she would join the basketball team once she gets here. Then I found out that she doesn’t, do you know why?”

The look on Sunny’s face when Jessica turned to look at her was totally a complete blank look mixed with hesitation in the same time. Jessica wondered why but when Sunny sighed and opened , Jessica fell silent.

***

1 year ago…

She was curious for certain girl that always played alone on the field. She always saw her whenever she finished her practice, over there, on the field, alone with a ball in hand. The girl wasn’t in the club of basketball team she noticed, because she knew everyone in the club and she never saw her before because the girl didn’t look like a senior that means the girl supposed to be in the same year with her.

At first night, she just went home, let the girl played on the flied until God knows how long without looking back at her. But the more she saw the girl, the more she got curious. So one day, she decided to sit on the bleacher and watched the girl play.

So much for her surprise, the girl was really good, she was doing well in shooting, definitely had control on the ball, it was like the ball is part of her body and that was everything a basketball player needed.

Then she decided to watch more and stayed a little longer.

She wanted to know her name and asked whether she was a person from a other club or not, it was impossible for someone that played so great like that didn’t play for any club at all.

The girl stood behind the line and moments later she started to shoot the ball even without aimed first, and the ball made its smooth way through the ring with a swoosh sound. She saw the girl walked to grabbed the ball and hold it on her hand for awhile before she dribbled it started to walked a little bit fast.

Jogged at first…
 

A little bit faster…

And when she started to run, a grunt slipped through and she fell. The ball bounced to the other side of the field.

The girl on the bleacher was about to helped the other girl, but sat back down once she saw the black haired girl stood up with limped feet and grabbed the ball on the ground harshly. She could see the jaw clenched, the harsh huff, the gripped on the ball.

The black head bounced the ball very hard to the ground with a groan until the ball hit the ring and made its way through it. The blonde sigh, no matter how amusing and interesting to watch someone mad over something, it still left unpleasant feeling. So she walked down the bleacher, grabbed a towel from her bag and handed it to the girl.

The latter startled, didn’t expect someone to come over her to give her towel, or more likely, didn’t expect someone to see her like this. She grabbed the towel without saying anything not even a thanks and started to wipe the sweats on her face.

“You okay?” The girl didn’t reply her. She didn’t care because she wanted to know more then she just asked casually.

“Why don’t you join the team?”

The black haired girl stopped mid way from wiping the sweats on her face and the shorter one cursed under her breath when she saw the girl’s face darkened, hurt pasted all over the face. The girl then sighed as she sat on the ground, her eyes was dull when she spoke.

She spilled everything that made her worry, that made her unsecure and longing and hurt. Most likely the pain when certain someone didn’t came to her last game, the day when she injured her foot, the day when she left and never looked back. Everything, she told the stranger everything and it didn’t felt wrong, it felt right and she thought it was a good sign.

Maybe.

And when she finished a hand made its way to her face, wiping the tears that she didn’t know when it fell. The girl beside her smiled understandingly, so warm and so kind.

“It’s Sunny Lee.  Nice to meet you…”

“Hwang, Tiffany Hwang.”

When Sunny pulled her closer for a hug, Tiffany decided to trust the girl more than to trust her own self.

From that moment and on, they became a close friend, a best friend to the point they hang out together doing anything together and everything they could gave to each other. Sunny promised to herself to not made Tiffany look back to her past or even bring it up again.

Ever.

***

"It'll be a lie if I said I’ve never had any special feelings for her, she's so kind and she’s willing to understand me, she makes me feel special. She was my crush for quite long, but then I realized she has someone on her heart ― that girl who didn't show up on her last game, no matter how hard she tried to forget I guess she'll never be able to, especially not when she's right here right now to claim her back. Am I right Jessica?"

Sunny face was unreadable thus makes Jessica uneasy, guilty but most of all, she was mad at herself. Jessica wanted to know about at why Tiffany didn’t play anymore but when she knew the truth, just like everyone said, truth hurts. She didn’t know how to tolerate it (or herself) she hated herself.

Tiffany couldn’t play because she didn’t came, because the girl couldn’t concentrate and kept on looking for her, thus it was her mistake, totally her mistake. And when she thought about the reason why she didn’t came, she hated herself even more, Jessica felt like a bundle of crap, a living mess. Her breath almost choked at the time she spoke.

"I was a fool I know, I regret it so much. I'm trying to fix things that I'm not even sure how to fix it, a year without her made me realized things, I wasn’t even sure if I'll get a second chance, when I saw you and her at the first time, I thought she's with you, the way she looked at you at that time, it was full of affection, the one that was only for me, and me only.”

Sunny didn’t make any sound nor movements, she was just sat there watching Tiffany put the ball on the basket and made her way towards them. For the first time, Sunny had the urge to hate Jessica. But instead, she patted the girl’s back and stood up, walked away from her.  She didn’t have any rights to hate the girl, not when Tiffany couldn’t bring herself to hate the girl who crushed her heart and almost her whole world.

***

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

They were walking through the empty hallway to Jessica’s room. No words exchanged between them, Jessica didn’t speak too much to Tiffany surprise and Tiffany thought asking the other girl what happened wasn’t an appropirate thing to do, privacy she thought.

Jessica kept her eyes to the ground, her minds kept replaying of what Sunny said to her and Tiffany kept stealing glances at Jessica every other seconds. She couldn’t help but worried, that was all, nothing more.

Or so she thought.

The younger girl stopped when Tiffany stopped abruptly, looking at the girl questioningly. Tiffany nodded her head and Jessica looked back at her room’s door. They were already there.

Jessica opened the door and Tiffany closed it behind her once they were inside.

“Are you okay? You’re surprisingly very quiet.”

Jessica looked away, sighing, a frown made its way to her face and she bit her lips, questions were hanging on the tip of her tongue.

“Tiffany…”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?”

There was hesitation in Jessica’s voice and it mirrored on the older girl’s face. Jessica never asked for permission to ask a question. She didn’t wait for Tiffany’s reply but looked at the black haired girl with hurt and disappointed eyes.

“Why can’t you be honest to me? For what happened in the past. Everything, anything.”

“Jessica I don’t―”

“I want to hear it from you! I want to know, Tiff. Why did you want me to come that night, why did you leave without saying goodbye? Anything?”

Tiffany’s jaw hardened, she gulped the lumped on then looked away from Jessica’s pleading eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But―”

“Everything in the past, stay in the past.”

Her voice was cold, definitely not ‘Tiffany’. But Jessica couldn’t just let it pass easily. She wanted to know whether what Sunny said was true, that Tiffany couldn’t forget her. She wanted Tiffany to just said it to her face, so she’ll know that she still had chance to get the girl back, to get Tiffany back as hers.

 Why was it so hard? Why did she hold back everything?

She made her mind, she knew exactly what she was feeling, Jessica was clearly in love with her, she loved the girl and she didn’t want to lose her, not anymore. She lost her once and she didn’t want it to happen ever again. She wanted Tiffany but if the girl kept on acting like this, she wasn’t sure whether Tiffany still wanted her or not.

“Does it mean everything has change? That I’m not precious to you anymore?”

Tiffany looked away

“Or at least… the one that matter? Even just a bit, Tiff?”

The older girl cleared then turned away from her.

“It’s already late, I have to go back, sorry.”

Tiffany’s hand was on the handle but Jessica was quicker than her, she pulled Tiffany and pushed her to the nearest wall, Jessica’s hand fisted on the other girl’s sleeve, her face already wet from tears. She was mad, and hopeless.

“Why can’t you tell me? Why can’t you tell me anymore!?” she repeated, Tiffany stayed still.

“Why can’t you confess your feelings for me anymore!? I just wanted to know! Why did you leave me?”

Jessica dropped her hands to wipe her tears harshly to the point it almost bruised her skin. Despite the way she cried, Jessica still had her eyes fixated at Tiffany, she was waiting for an answer, desperately need to hear one.

“You forget that easily?? What am I to you!? Am I no one!? Am I―”

“ARE YOU DENSE OR WHAT? YOU DON’T KNOW WHY DID I LEAVE U THAT TIME? FINE LEMME TELL YOU!”

Jessica startled at Tiffany’s voice that screamed at her, Tiffany never scream especially to her. She stepped back few steps, she wanted to snap back at her but the look on the older girl’s face was told her not to.

Tiffany gritted her teeth, ran her hand through her hair frustratingly, her eyes focused on Jessica when she spoke.

“I was going to confess again for you that night for the last time! I would stay if you accepted me but if you don’t then I’ll choose to study here and learn to move on form you! And the fact that you didn’t come, and the fact that I know you weren’t sick, there was only one thing that I had in mind; Taeyeon. It must be because of Taeyeon, nothing else.”

***

Back to that night…

From: Taeyeon
I heard what happened from Yuri, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask Jessica to help me.

Tiffany knew that night Jessica had chose. She chose Taeyeon over her. It was clear, she didn’t need any further proof. She was hurt, physically and mentally.

To: Taeyeon
It's ok it's not your fault, you just helped me to realize thing better, thanks
 and I'll see you again one day I guess
 I wish all d best for you and Yuri J

***

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Was all Jessica could say ― chanted ― at the moment Tiffany told her everything. She wanted this and why she was crying because of it?

“Sorry…” She sobbed. “I’m sorry that I’m the reason why you can’t play anymore. I’m sorry that I killed your passion,”

Tiffany froze for a second but she collected herself.  How could she knew. Was the thing she had in mind when she said;

“It wasn’t your fault, it was my fault that I couldn’t concentrate, I guess I loved you a bit too much that time.” She chuckled lowly her eyes looking down to the floor. “I didn’t even realize how much I love you till that night.”

“It was painful, I didn’t think actually I will be able to face you again without being hurt, but then you came here and… I don’t even know what to feel or what to think anymore.”

Jessica’s hand was on her forehead, her head hurted so much because everything that just happened , because she had to think at such a short time like this and accepted the fact that she made a very much bad decision in the past, for both herself and Tiffany.

"Do you even know how hard for me when you leave me for a damn year? Do you ever think why I choose to chase you all the way here? Do you actually ever consider my feelings too since I'm here?" she looked at Tiffany, the black haired girl didn’t say anything.

"I'm hurting too since I got here, the way you treated Sunny, I wanted to hate her but at the end I can't, she's just too lovable to be hate, I hate myself for losing you, I'm here for second chance if I'm able to get it... After you left. I know that I like you more than a best friend do, I need you, I want to be someone's world, someone's special person again.”

“I want to be yours again, your princess, your weakling, your everything. If there's a time machine I'll definitely gonna back to that time and make everything works between me and you. But we both know that kind of thing doesn't exist, so here I am trying to fix my mistake, letting you know thing that I should tell you since the first time, I like you, I love you, I really do."

She walked her way to Tiffany then wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist, buried her face on the older girl’s neck. They stayed like that for a while before Tiffany pulled away first, she looked at Jessica in the eyes and leaned in, closing the gap between them, brushing their lips together.

They pulled away when their lung screamed for oxygen but none of them dared to look away from each other. The older one breathed out apologize before she leaned in and captured Jessica’s lips for the second time, and the third time when she shushed Jessica for her attempt to talk.

“Don’t, don’t say anything anymore. It’s been a tough night for us, let’s just get some sleep, you and me, okay?”

The moment Jessica looked into deep brown pool; she was lost, drowned, so deep. It would be the first time in a long time since Tiffany looked at her like this. With all her love and feelings and with everything the older girl couldn’t put in words. She poured everything into that, just like the old time.

Jessica smiled at her lovingly. Who was she to reject the one she loved the most. After being apart from each other they finally found themselves in each other arms that night, both were sleeping peacefully with smile plastered on their face, no more sadness, no more painfull feelings, only warmth and contented feelings remained.

They finally found the missing piece of their heart.

***

a/n: how? is this one good enough? guys? you bluepinkz? and no, this wont be the last chap. i still have 1 more chapter to go and it wont be too soon since i have to prepare things for new year lol. but i think i should make it before jan 2014 yes? and also, as always, do forgive any errors that i still have there. that bluepinkz help me with everything i feel like a total lazy azz OTL