Not Good Enough
Jessica/Tiffany
requested by Angela

 

 

 

13 years ago…

Pink unicorn alarm clock was ringing madly at the little sleeping girl on the bed with baby pink colored blanket covered the little body. A hand reached over to the wooden nightstand and with a soft touch of a finger, the alarm went off. It was another movement from the inside of the blanket until a head with a messy brown hair peep out.

She heard someone walked towards her bedroom from the other side of the white colored door and the girl sat up when it opens. She rubbed her eyes sleepily as she yawned. Another girl stood smiling with her hand on the door knob.

“Hi Jessi!” she chirps. “You wake up already!”

The cheerful voice of her friends filled her once quiet room. Jessica yawned once again as she stepped out from her comfy bed to the smiling girl on the door frame. She huffed towards the slightly shorter girl.

“Why are you here?” Jessica asked flatly.

“You promised to play with me yesterday.” The girl smiles more, now with her eyes.

Jessica looked at the crescent moon eyes; it never fails her to not staring at it for several seconds since she decided to make a friend few days ago. This girl happened to be her first friend ever in the neighborhood.

“It’s six in the morning.” She said annoyed. “Mom won’t―”

“I already ask for your mom permission and she said we can play for the whole day!”

Jessica face palmed.

“C’mon Jessi! It’ll be exciting! Nana said she has the brain new pair of Barbie and Ken and we could play it together!”

“I don’t play Barbie.”

“I know! So I’ll let you play Ken and I’ll be the Barbie!”

***

 

Tiffany was lying flat on her stomach when Jooyeon slammed the door open. Tiffany jumped in shocked and almost fell onto the floor. She eyed the older girl questioningly as she spare glances with Nana. The two girls waited until Jooyeon’s breath steady from the panting.

“Yongguk makes Jessica cry.”

Jooyeon doesn’t remember when Tiffany ran past by her when she only saw Nana who eyed the now empty bed in disbelieve. She looks at Jooyeon as she stood up.

“Where’s Tiffany?”

***

 

Jessica was in the middle of the six boys throwing her Ken from one another. The little girl tried to reach for the doll but she still can’t get the poor doll Nana borrowed her.

“Give me back the doll!”

One of the boys laughed mockingly.

“Get it yourself cry baby!”

And the other boys laughed.

Jessica was really pissed off at the time the throwing become really fast and higher which make it harder for her to catch the doll. She stops and glared to each of them. She balled her hands. Daehyun was the one who noticed the girl was stopping so he stops the throwing and looked at Jessica with a smirk. The other boys walked towards him.

“Tired now, cry baby?”

“I’m not a cry baby!”

“You’re about to cry. Look at you!” the boys laughed at her.

Jessica bit her inner cheeks when she felt her eyes got warmer. She wasn’t the type to spat to the other when she got really mad or annoyed. She will cry instead, but she hated to be called as a cry baby. Jessica thinks she cry for reasons.

“I’m not crying! And I’m not a cry baby!” her body started to trembling. “Give me the doll!!”

Daehyun stick his hand to Jessica and when Jessica about to grab the doll, the sly boy dropped the doll to the ground. Jessica eyed him heatedly when he made a fake shocked face. She gritted her teeth and bent down to grabbed the doll but another hand snatch it from the ground.

“What’s so good with this doll anyway.”

Yongguk chuckled as he watched a tear escaped Jessica’s watery eye. He pointed to the girl’s face as he announced the obvious scene in front of him to his group of friends.

“Look! She’s crying!!”

And they laughed.

Jessica can’t hold it any longer so she cupped her face on her hands and started crying. She thinks she shouldn’t let Tiffany dragged her to Nana’s home if it’s end up like this. She could just lie down on her bed playing with Krystal rather than being here and got tease by these stupid boys. Jessica thinks she shouldn’t agreed Tiffany being her friend because she thinks it doesn’t means anything if Jessica hated her for not being―

“Jessi!!”

Jessica snapped her head for the nickname and the familiar annoying laud voice. Tiffany ran towards her direction. Jessica can see how the girl forced her little feet to run more when she stumbled and fell down the hard asphalt and hide her pained expression. Yongguk and the other boys laughed real hard at the falling girl. Jessica glared at the boys before darted her eyes back to Tiffany worriedly.

The younger girl stood right in front of her ― shielding her ― and when Jessica about to stand next to the girl, Tiffany’s hand blocked her, signaled her to stay on her place. Jessica gulped and grabbed on Tiffany’s pink unicorn t-shirt. Jessica wiped her tears with the other hand.

“Give her the doll, Yongguk!”

It was all silent. Jessica peeked from behind Tiffany’s thin frame that barely hides her.

“I’ll tell daddy―”

“No! Stop telling your dad about anything!”

“Then give her the doll! It wasn’t yours!”

“It wasn’t yours either, Fany!”

Tiffany fell silent for awhile.

“I’m gonna―”

“God, fine! Here! Have the doll! Why are you so mean to me when it comes to her.” Yongguk mumbled.

Tiffany grabbed the doll before she spoke.

“Because Jessi is my favorite!”

Little Jessica blushed by the comment even she wasn’t sure herself at why the temperature of her face increased by the other girl’s words.

“But I’m your cousin!”

“You’re not my favorite!”

***

 

Present time…

King sized bed with unicorn printed pink blanket and a roaring digital alarm clock was all at the same set just like 13 years ago. The only difference was the once only pink colored blanket now has a unicorn printed on it and the once unicorn alarm clock now replaced by a digital clock with some mixture of soft colors. All the unicorn stuffs were from her best friend.

Tiffany closed the door slowly behind her ― makes sure to not making even a little noise. Tip toed towards the king sized bed, she press the button of the alarm clock to shut it off as she titled her head to get a better view of the sleeping face that hid half faced under the blanket. Tiffany smiled brightly at the view and she jumped onto the bed and hugged the sleeping figure tightly.

“Wake up! Wake up wake up!”

The girl under her grips rolled to her back which made Tiffany lay atop her on the bed still hugging her forever-best-favorite person. Jessica groans lazily as she snuggled closer to Tiffany’s shoulder blade instead of waking up. Tiffany giggled and lean her face to the other girl’s.

“Wake up will you? Class gonna start in… 15 minutes.” She said softly as she took a glance to her watch.

Since Jessica doesn’t even make any movement from her current position ― get too comfy by Tiffany’s warmth ― the younger girl pulled away from hugging Jessica. She eyed the now looked so annoyed girl below her start opened her eyes a little only to glare at Tiffany.

Tiffany flashed a bright smile along with her eyes.

“Good morning, Jess!” She kissed the other girl’s cheek.

Jessica smiled softly at the morning routine Tiffany always gave her and sat up on the bed as she combed her hair with her hands. Tiffany watched how the brown locks slipped on every space between her fingers. She wondered how soft Jessica’s hair would be under her touch.

She cleared and darted her eyes everywhere but Jessica. It’s weird really. She has been friend with Jessica for the entire whole of her life but she still has this tingling feeling every time she got close with her best friend or got lost on the other girl’s clear brown eyes. Tiffany always asked herself at how come Jessica’s eyes became so inviting to be sees. Krystal said it was just her because she said Jessica’s eyes are as boring as it always been.

Tiffany got up from the bed and pulled Jessica from her current sitting, she knows the older girl would fall asleep again even in a so uncomfortable position. Jessica got on her feet lazily as she rubbed her eyes. Tiffany patted her head and about to turned around when Jessica wrap her arms around Tiffany’s waist. She has her head on the other girl’s shoulder and one hand covered when she was yawning. Tiffany felt her face heated but she hugged Jessica close.

“Jess, we’re gonna be late―”

“I’m tired.”

“But―”

“Your hug doesn’t help me awake.”

“Oh sorry!”

Tiffany pulled away immediately and hung her face low. She doesn’t want Jessica notice how red her face became. She clears again as she turned around and opened the door of Jessica’s room.

“I-I’ll wait outside.”

 

Jessica chuckles.

 

Proud much at herself at making Tiffany nervous.

***

 

Tiffany closed Jessica’s white BMW door as she slung her bag on her shoulder. She holds onto her thick books and bit her lower lip. She looks at Jessica who’s now smiling at her as she pushed the car alarm. The younger girl smiled back at her with her eyes when Jessica made her way towards Tiffany. She wrapped her hand on Jessica’s arm.

They walked together hand in hand. Tiffany has that big smile on her face. She likes the feel of being near Jessica; she likes it when Jessica squeezed her hand when they walked together towards their school building. Tiffany loved how Jessica’s hand felt so warm and how the other girl seems to never wanted to letting Tiffany’s hand go when her group of famous kids eyed her best friend mockingly.

Jessica stopped in front of her bunch of friends. Tiffany shifted uncomfortably as the grips on her book tightened. She doesn’t bother to look at those evil eyes. Jessica turned her head and looked at Tiffany. She knows exactly her so called friend hated the other girl; they seem to hate anyone who has thick books on their hugs anyway. And since Tiffany was a smart girl, that doesn’t make it any easier for her.

Tiffany clears in discomfort and she lets go of Jessica’s hand. The other girl eyed her in worries. Jessica knitted her eyebrows. The other girl gave her a small smile as she backed away.

“See you later.”

Biting her lips, Jessica felt a little bit guilty when she turned around to her friends who’s now looking everywhere but her eyes. She never understands at why her friends hated Tiffany so much even though they didn’t know her personality. Like seriously, why are they judging?

 

She glared at her friends.

 

“Don’t look at us like that.”

***

 

“Hey Fany, are you even listening?”

The said girl heaved out a sighed as she smiled apologetically at Soyeon, she straightened her sit and saw Minho scoffed. Tiffany lowered her head when the boy gave her a look and apologized once again when Seohyun shook her head before continued her reading.

“If you keep dozing out, it would be wise to kicked you out from the group.” Soyeon said sharply.

“I’m sorry.” Tiffany said meekly.

“Tsk you’re a joke,” Minho got up from his chair before he walks away. “We can do the paper without her you know that.”

 Tiffany bit her lips hard and still had her head down, looking at her untouched lunch on the table. Surely, they can do the paper without her. That was the think they always said when Tiffany did a mistake, even just a very little one. They seem hated her in some kind of hate Tiffany can’t figured out what, but in some reason Tiffany still likes them. She thinks they’re still nice because they didn’t kick her from the group even once. Soyeon, Minho and Seohyun are the best she can get.

Soyeon looked at her annoyed as she breathed out her thoughts.

“Minho was right. We can still make it without yo―”

“No! I’m sorry, okay?” she cut. “Sorry really, just don’t kicked me from the group. I’m… I’m gonna working on it by myself.”

Soyeon rise her eyebrow. “So you can get the score youself?”

“Wh-what? No! That’s not what I mean! I mean… I mean I’ll do it for our group.”

Seohyun exhale softly and closed her book. She put it on the table and sipped on her iced tea. She leaned back on her chair and eyed both girls expressionless. She shifted her gaze to Soyeon as she talked.

“I’ll help her.” She said.

“Just shut up Juhyun. Let her do it herself, she was the one offering it anyway.”

“That’s a group paper. She did it herself doesn’t make it like one.”

Soyeon rolled her eyes. She grabbed her belongings and stood up before walked away with can of cola on her hand.

“Whatever.”

Tiffany watched as Soyeon the hallway before she darted her eyes to Seoyeon who’s now standing up. Tiffany gave her a small smile and the other girl smiled at her back before she also walks away and vanished in the bunch of people on the canteen. She huffed. Seohyun would be the only good person she had meet after Jessica. Why is her life like this?

***

 

“So don’t forget about the task and gave it to me. The due date is 7 days from tomorrow. Good luck and… have a nice day.”

Mr. Henry dismissed the class and walks away from the packed room. Tiffany closed her book and started putting her notes and books onto her bag before she sat up and turned around to check on Jessica who’s still sleeping on her place. She smiled at the sight as she walks towards the older girl. Some of the brunette’s friends were still there and eyed her disgustingly.

“Look who’s here.” One of them said.

Tiffany ignored him and squatted to the table. She poked the girl’s cheek.

“Hey wake up,” She said softly. “Class is over already.”

Tiffany heard a chuckled from behind her. Definitely know it was the voice of Jessica’s annoying friend.

“Who are you, Hwang? Her mother? Her wife?”

Tiffany rolled her eyes.

“Mind your own business.”

The boy behind her laughed mockingly, his other friend followed along.

“Wow you’re a brave one are you?”

Tiffany ignores him once more and continued waking up Jessica. She poked the soft cheek once again as she smiled.

“C’mon Jessi, it’s almost 6 now, you promise to dinner at my home.”

“Sica doesn’t seem to likes your daddy’s cooking, Hwang. It may contains some book pages and other nerdy―”

Tiffany gritted her teeth as she turned around, about to walk closer to the boy and punched him right on his ugly face when a hand on her wrist stopped her. She looked at behind her back when Jessica rubbed her eyes in a very cute way Tiffany swear she could just jumped at her and squeeze her hard. The older girl stepped in front of her and eyed her boy friend coldly. The boy gulped as he backed away slightly.

“I’ve been usually having dinner at her home when I barely 10. I don’t really understand your motivation to talk like that to my best friend. But I’ll make sure if you talked like that again I’ll have your head hung on the school gate for Halloween,” she stressed on the ‘my best friend’ part.

Jessica grabbed her bag and walks away with Tiffany’s hand on hers.

“I don’t like you since the day you talked to me.”

Without looking back at the stunned boy, Jessica dragged Tiffany out from the class to the parking lot with a steady pace. Tiffany’s heart was still racing at the thought of Jessica saving her ― stopping her ― and when she looked down at their hands, the thumped in her heart became more rapid than it already does.

She looks at Jessica and saw how that straight face never changed even a slightly bit since she scolded her friend at their class only to defend her. Tiffany felt special. And she likes it. So she tightened her grip on Jessica’s hand and smiled brightly when the other girl looked at her.

“Thanks.”

Tiffany said as she wrapped her hands around Jessica and snuggled closer to her best friend. Tiffany rested her head on Jessica’s shoulder as she fixed her eyes to the ground. She holds Jessica’s left arms with both of her hands as they walked together to the parking lot.

 

She missed how red Jessica’s face had become.

***

 

“She did that?”

“Yes she did! She’s very awesome right, daddy?”

Tiffany chirped from across Jessica on the dining table when she told her dad how cool it was when Jessica wakes up at the exact time Tiffany about to punch the boy on his face. The older Hwang however, looks happy at her daughter’s excited face rather than the story. It wasn’t the first time Jessica did that to defended his daughter and he understands why Tiffany always this excited when she told him anything about Jessica. He thinks his daughter has a very special feeling for the older girl.

“But hung his head on the school gate is a little bit scary.”

Jessica bit her lip as she smile shyly. It does really scary tough but it was the only thing that came out from at the time and she seemed gonna doing it at any cost when her friend ever mocked Tiffany like that again in front of her.

Tiffany chuckled as she shoved her steak to , eying Jessica with her crescent eyes.

“I like it.”

Jessica titled her head and smiled back at her. She sends Tiffany ‘I know you do’ look.

Mr. Hwang chuckled at the girls before he stood up and excuses himself to continue working on his room. Tiffany and Jessica left alone in the dining room as they both cleaned they table and washed the dishes. Tiffany does the washing and Jessica does the wiping. It will always like that ever since Jessica’s first dinner at the Hwang’s place years ago.

Jessica wiped the last plate with the napkin when Tiffany spun around and sat up on the edge of the sink. She placed both of her hands on the either side of her body as she eyed Jessica with smile on her face. Jessica glanced at her as she put the place on the cabinet. She turned to Tiffany and crossed her arms.

“Yes?”

Jessica risen her eyebrows and Tiffany jumped from the sink, she grabbed Jessica’s wrist and make her way towards her room. Jessica followed behind her like a puppy followed its mother. Tiffany lets go of Jessica’s wrist and slumped onto her bed. Jessica closed the door behind her and sat right beside Tiffany that lay on the bed. Once the younger girl felt the bed sink by Jessica’s weight, she shifted and placed her head to rest on the other girl’s thigh. Jessica the brown locks.

“Jessi?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for always be there for me.”

Jessica smiles as she touched the bridge of Tiffany’s nose with her finger.

“No problem.”

Tiffany turned her head until her eyes met with the picture on her desk. It was the picture of her and Jessica when they’re on school trip during their elementary year and Tiffany remembered how many friends they both have. Every friend Tiffany had is also Jessica’s and every single awesome friends Jessica had is also Tiffany’s. They would hate the same person, the same group, the same teacher and any other kind of people and things.

Tiffany darted her eyes to the other frame where a picture of she and Jessica taken not a long time ago with a very different story and background they had now. Tiffany wore her casual pastel cardigan with floral skirt and her soft pink converse, her favorite book on her hands while Jessica has black tank top with that cheerleading jacket and red skinny jeans and her black colored flat shoes with her phone on her hand. Tiffany smiled brightly when Jessica smiled with her simple sweet smile.

“Jessi?”

“Hmm?”

“Why things change?”

Jessica stops from texting on her phone and looked down to Tiffany. She put her phone on the night stand as she tapped her knuckles on the younger girl’s forehead. Tiffany turned her head, looking at her right in the eyes.

“Why are we different now?”

Jessica titled her head.

“What do you mean?”

Tiffany turned her head to the two frames on her desk and Jessica follows the younger girl’s. Jessica smiled warmly at Tiffany when their eyes met again.

“We’re still what we used to.”

“But―”

“I don’t like my friend as much as I liked you.”

Tiffany blushed at it and the red on Tiffany’s cheeks doesn’t get unnoticed by Jessica. She caressed her best friend’s face as she talked slowly and clearly.

“Am I still your favorite person?”

Tiffany nodded. Jessica smiled until it reached her eyes.

“Then you’ll be always mine’s.”

 

Mine…

***

 

“Are you hungry?”

Tiffany looked at the girl who had her head on the table when her stomach made a funny voice. Jessica nodded her head with a little pout on her lips. Tiffany chuckled at her childish act; the only thing she knows Jessica’s other friends didn’t know about how clingy and how spoiled child she could be. She stood up but a hand stopped her.

“I’m going to the canteen. Your tummy is craving for food. Wait here, I’ll be back soon.”

Jessica only nodded and watched quietly when Tiffany walks out from the now empty class. She decided to wait Tiffany finished her supposedly group paper today before she handed it to Seohyun the next day. She hates it when Tiffany did such thing, it will make both Soyeon and Minho enslave her even more by their stupid threats.

Jessica huffed in annoyance, she should be the one who helped Tiffany get rid of her so called friend not the one that chose to be with another friends who supposed to be no one to her. She slapped herself hard on her mind. She was a stupid didn’t she?

“I hope chicken burrito and cola would be okay for you?”

Jessica snapped her head and smiled to the voice. She was hungry ― starving ― but Tiffany’s voice excited her more than the food on the other girl’s hands. Jessica straightened her sit when Tiffany handed her the burrito and placed the cola on the table. The younger girl smiled at her best friend as she opened the book and started scribed again.

Jessica chewed on her food as she folded her legs on the chair. She watched when Tiffany’s eyebrows knitted when she think at what words she should write. Se swallowed the burrito and poked Tiffany by her shoulder. She stick her hand towards Tiffany’s mouth, waited the other girl to had a bite of the food. Tiffany’s face blushed and she opened and bit the food.

“Thanks.” She said going back to the paper.

Jessica flashed a bright smile until her eyes disappears imitating Tiffany’s eyes smile.

She eyed the chicken burrito on her hands and the cola on the table. Her taste bud seems like liking the taste very much. She looks over to Tiffany as she chews more. The burrito from their canteen has never been on her list of favorite foods at school but right now ― not because she’s really hungry ― the burrito taste disturbingly delicious.

***

 

Tiffany has never been so sure for her entire life that loving someone more than anything was how she described her feels for Jessica.

Her best friend

Her childhood friend

Her forever favorite person

It was happened when Jooyeon ― her elementary and junior high friend ― told her that there’s something about how her eyes twinkled when she looked at Jessica. Jooyeon said it was lovely but Tiffany never forgot how red Jessica’s face had become when Jooyeon said that. Nana had to tease them for the entire week.

And now the feeling for asking Jessica’s out is coming again and it was bigger than before. She wanted to ask Jessica out, for a date and not a friendly date. She wanted a real date, a real one with her crush. Tiffany shook her head tried to erase the thought of it. But it doesn’t make any better since Jessica’s face was the only thing she sees at the time she opened her eyes.

She can’t do this right?

Jessica is her best friend and maybe Jessica only looked at her as a best friend all this time. She can’t ask for more anyway. They were best friend and that counted all those skinship Jessica made with her for the whole year. That doesn’t make her special in Jessica’s eyes right? Jessica can do skinship with everyone if she wanted.

 

But Tiffany never saw it.

 

“Darn it Tiff! What are you thinking?”

She hits her head for countless time and stops when she feels dizzy. She blinked her eyes and looked at her phone. She touched the screen and it glows in her dark room. Jessica’s picture was her wallpaper since god knows how long. Tiffany bit her lip.

“I am such a creepy stalker.”

She grabbed her phone and the urge to call Jessica is unbearable. She wants to just listen to the voice of her best friend and nothing more. The thought of asking Jessica out is really bothered her and she doesn’t know why.

Tiffany was thinking.

Going somewhere alone with Jessica is not something new. But why she’s so nervous now?

“Just ask her, you idiot!” Tiffany huffed. “But what if she didn’t want to?”

A frustrated groan escaped and she fell on her back to the bed.

“Oh rejection why are you exist!?”

 

Tiffany didn’t realize Jessica never refused any of her allurement.

***

 

Tiffany had made up her mind last night before she goes to sleep. She has to ask Jessica to go on a special date with her and tell the older girl everything about her feeling. She didn’t care if Jessica gonna hate her after this ― she hopes it wouldn’t happen ― all she knows is just to confess. Since it has been more than five years, she didn’t think Jessica can give her a cold treatment for more than two hours.

It’s now or never. It’s now when she finally get her braveness or she’ll just as quiet as herself for the past years. She nodded to her reflection in the mirror.

***

 

Tiffany handed the paper from her bag to Seohyun. The other girl looked at her as she smiled a little. They really can rely on Tiffany, she thought. Seohyun nodded her head and put the paper on her bag before she walked to the canteen. Tiffany in the other hand has her hand sweating and her heart thumped madly. She groans and walks away from her classroom.

She looks everywhere and to every possible direction but still no sign of Jessica. The older girl excuses herself to the bathroom before the class ended and hasn’t comeback until now. It was usual for Jessica to skipped the class at several minutes before dismiss but it wasn’t the reason Tiffany was looking for her.

She wanted to ask Jessica out. She has planned to watch movie and having dinner tonight with Jessica and Tiffany was beyond excited at the image. She smiles to herself when she walks through the other students.

 

Maybe she’s in the back yard…

 

Tiffany thought and without any hesitation, she walked to the back yard with nothing but her courage. The ‘now or never’ is on repeat on her mind. It helps her a little bit. She spotted some of Jessica’s friends on the bench and she assumed that Jessica must be around. The looks of Jessica’s friend when they seeing her were never changing but she doesn’t care even a bit. All she need is Jessica and not them.

She walks further to the back yard and there she heard Jessica’s voice. The huge smile plastered on her face and she jogged lightly to the source. When she was about to call Jessica, a voice of someone else stopped her. Tiffany hid behind a wall and listed to what they were saying.

“My mom just going back from America yesterday and she bought some chocolates. I heard you loved chocolate so I brought you one.” The boy said. Shyly was visible on his voice.

“Thanks.” Jessica said, smile on her voice.

“So um… I heard the restaurant near my dad’s building has a very delicious foods and I’ve been thinking to have a taste there. Do you… by any change―”

The rest was never come to Tiffany’s ears as the girl ran away and held back her growing anger inside. She doesn’t want to hear anything else. She doesn’t wanted to know what was Donghae said because she already knows it. The boy was asking Jessica out and Tiffany knows Jessica has always been liked the boy even it was just a little. Donghae was cute, he is famous amongst all girls and for plus point, he was smart. There’s no way Jessica would rejected the offer.

The girl stepped in the class only to grab her bag and headed out to the classroom but her teacher was stood on the doorway. He looked at Tiffany questioningly. She saw Jessica stood behind the teacher.

Tiffany only eyed her for a mere second.

“Tiffany? Are you going somewhere?” Her Teacher asked.

Tiffany smiled at him weakly.

“I’m sorry Mr. Choi, but I think catch a cold. I don’t really feel well. Can I go home?”

“Oh… okay. Take care of yourself okay. Get well soon Tiffany.”

“Thank you, Mr. Choi.”

“Do you want Jessica―”

“I’m just goona take a cab.”

Tiffany walked past Mr. Choi when the old man bid her good bye. She doesn’t spare a glance to the girl behind the old man but she spotted Jessica looking at her worried and confused. She doesn’t give Jessica any change to ask her why and what happened to her when all she did was ignore her completely.

She doesn’t care. And for the first time, she wants to ignore Jessica forever.

***

 

Tiffany doesn’t sure what was it escaped ; a mock for herself or more to a series of sobs. She clutch onto her blanket and hide herself under it as she keeps on repeating what was happening earlier at the back yard. Does the pain in her heart was the clue that she loves Jessica more than a best friend?

She thinks it was really stupid for her to think that Jessica also feels the same as her. That the older girl would just said okay and they both can had a relationship like she always imagine since years ago. She doesn’t even know either Jessica likes girl or not. Tiffany scoffed and balled her hand, she closed her eyes and a tear escaped her eyes.

“How stupid.” She mumbled.

A soft knock from the door and Tiffany doesn’t shift on her current position, pretend as if she was sleeping. She bit her thumb when another tears run down through her face and she muffled her sobs onto the pillow when the door creaked open and closed moment latter. Tiffany doesn’t move a bit.

The bed slumped by another weight and a heave of breath coming from beside her. She knows the person was not her dad. And she somehow hated the present of the person. A hand pulled the blanket until Tiffany’s face was visible and Jessica looked at her more than worried. Tiffany’s puffy eyes met hers but it sends shiver down to the older girl’s body.

“Hey,” She said. “Are you okay?”

Instead of answering the question, Tiffany turned her back to Jessica as she hugged the pillow on her embrace tightly and buried her face onto it. The younger girl covered her whole body with the blanket once more.

Jessica sighed.

“I texted you more than ten times.”

Jessica watched Tiffany’s back as she bit her lip. Tiffany never ignores her until now.

“Tiffany…” Jessica breathed out.

The said girl doesn’t even shift on her position and Jessica swear she could just cry and asked forgiveness even she doesn’t know what was it that makes Tiffany ignored her.

Jessica tugged the blanket but Tiffany still had her back facing her. She frowned deeply and scooted closer to the pretend-to-sleep girl. Jessica shook the shoulder twice but the girl doesn’t move. Impatient, Jessica groaned and jumped from the bed as she throws a pillow hard to Tiffany. The younger girl ― finally ― get up and glared at Jessica. The older girl had her eyes watered by tears.

“What do you want!?” Tiffany spat.

“Why are you ignoring me??” Jessica spat back.

“I’m not ignoring you!”

“You are! You wouldn’t wake up if I don’t throw you pillow!”

“I don’t feel well! What do you want me to do with that!? I can’t sleep when I don’t feel well??”

Jessica bit her lip and her vision become blur by the tears. She gulped and talked with a calmer voice.

“I was just worried. I texts you but you gave me no reply. How am I supposed to be calm with that? You never ignore my texts, Tiff.”

Tiffany bit her inner cheek and she stood up about to go outside and left Jessica in her room. She walked past the older girl and about to open the door when Jessica’s hand pulled her away from going out. She closed the door and leaned on it as she looked at Tiffany.

The younger girl sighed.

“What do you want?”

“No, what do you want?” Tiffany fell silent once again and look away from the girl.

“What’s with the sudden change, Tiff? Did I do something wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me, why are you like this? I know it’s not the cold. You’re not even catch a cold.”

Tiffany wants to tell Jessica that her heart is currently in pain because of Donghae asked her out. Tiffany wants to know why Jessica agreed to the offer. Even though she didn’t really hear what was the older girl answer for the boy’s offer. Tiffany already knows the answer, she wants to spill everything.

“I― you…” She groaned. “Forget it.”

Jessica watched as Tiffany walks away from her and sat on her bed hugging her unicorn plushie. Jessica wants to tell Tiffany about Donghae but she’s not sure now since Tiffany’s mood seems like at the edge of falling down and she doesn’t sure Tiffany wanted to know it.

But she tells her anyway.

“Tiffany…” Jessica waited for a respond but Tiffany gives none, so she continued talking.

“Earlier… Do you know Donghae…?”

Tiffany’s anger that once forgotten now build up again, the girl snapped her head to Jessica and bore a death glare at her and she stood up. Her hands in either side of her body and balled into fists. Her body even trembled. Jessica doesn’t sure what makes Tiffany reacted like this but the older girl felt tiny by the hated glare Tiffany sends to her.

“Don’t mention his name ever again! I don’t like him! And do you know what?? I know he asked you out!”

Jessica’s eyebrows lifted.

“You do?”

Tiffany scoffed as she turned around and bit one of her finger to calm herself down.

“I know! And I also know you’re beyond happy for that.” She faked a laugh.

“What? But―”

“I know you’ve been liked him since long time ago!”

The anger was still there but her low and hurt voice was clear for Jessica to hear. Jessica frowned and walked closer to Tiffany. She spun Tiffany’s body and made the younger girl facing her. Tiffany looks away from the searching eyes to hide her watery ones. Tiffany bites her lip and Jessica watched her closely.

“I heard it.”

It was more to a whisper but Jessica hugged her when the younger girl shed a tear. She Tiffany’s hair and the other girl cried on Jessica’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Jessica said near her ear. “I can refuse his offer if you don’t like it.”

Tiffany shook her head.

“It’s okay, Jess.” Please, don’t go with him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” No.

“Is this why you’re ignoring me?”

Jessica pulled away softly only to look at Tiffany’s eyes. She wiped the remaining tears on Tiffany’s face and cupped her face. Jessica eyes were unreadable. Tiffany wasn’t sure if it was bitter or honest or disappointed and it made Tiffany felt guilty by some reason.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Honestly?”

Tiffany looked away as she sighs. She really can’t lie to this girl.

“It is.”

Jessica bit her lip and she asked her softly.

“Why?”

“I’m not―”

“Please?”

Another sighs and Tiffany decided to tell her the truth. She looks at Jessica’s eyes when she spoke.

“I think… I love you.”

Jessica fell silent for a while.

Tiffany frowned deeply and about to say sorry when Jessica speaks.

“Me too.”

Her eyes meet the older girl’s again.

“I mean more than… a friend.”

Jessica doesn’t fell silent this time, instead a bright smile flashed on her now cheery face.

“Me too.”

And a hug was the last thing Tiffany knows before she delivers what was actually happening.

“I know it.” Jessica said as she pulled away. Tiffany eyed her questioningly.

“Y-you what?”

“You’re quiet obvious.”

“Really?”

Jessica circled her arms around Tiffany’s neck and she nuzzled their noses together. A very sweet smile appeared on Jessica’s face when she felt Tiffany’s breath tickled her face. She leaned in closer and kissed the lips even so softly.

“I’ve been love you before I even know Donghae.”

Tiffany returned the kiss and smiles. Her eyes twinkled in excitement. Jessica kissed her once more.

“I’m yours now.”

***

 

Tiffany watched Jessica sleeps several hours later and smile real bright at the serene face of her now girlfriend. She kissed the sleeping girl’s forehead before she reached to the nightstand to grab on her phone. There was one new message and when she opened it, it was from Jessica. She looks at her side again when Jessica securely wrapped her arm on the younger girl’s waist. Her phone is on her other side. She must’ve be send it when Tiffany asleep. Tiffany opened the message and smile warmly when she reads the text.

 

From: Jess ♥
message :
She wants to know if I love her,
that’s all anyone wants to know from anyone else,
not love itself but the knowledge that love is there,
like new batteries in the flash light in the emergency kit in the hall closet.


I love you, Tiffany

***

 

 

 

 

 

a/n: the story is kinda slow yeah? anyways, this is a req by Angela (i'm sorry i forgot ur uname > <) and it turns out so long. i'm sorry if this is not what you were expecting because i'm kinda lost with all school stuffs i'm currently working on. i hope you'll still liked it.
so... how is it? it'll be awesome if i know what's in your thoughts :D