A:N/ I so hate life right now... I have an assessment in 2 days which is just.....a complete mess right now.....and I'm getting bored fo my essay and I'm feeling cold! But another chpater of this story will make everything better, right guys? Oh and just so you know, I'm 100% convicned that every single "clumsy" thing L. JOe does in this story is possible in real life, because I did just about all of them in a span of like 3 weeks. Yeah I'm THAT awesome!

- -

Byunghun drummed his fingers on the table anxiously, trying to pretend that he wasn't checking the door every 5 seconds, to see what would happen today. It was exactly a week ago since he'd first spoken with one of his idols. Ever since, whenever Chanhee had seen him in a lecture or around campus he'd give him a nod or a wave, although Byunghun still wasn't completely convinced that they were intended for himself.

Today would be the day he found out once and for all, whether the previous week had a been a monumental occasion, or a fluke. He wasn't sure which prospect scared him more.

Realistically he told himself that he should expect to be ignored. Those boys were the coolest boys in the whole university, in his eyes. What could he possibly have to offer; what could he have demonstrated in that last conversation that could possibly make him worthy of a second acknowledgement?

Nothing.

Chanhee had probably forgotten all about him, the moment he'd walked through the classroom door, last week. He had probably only vaguely recalled that he'd even met Byunghun, and even then, he probably only remembered him in order to laugh at his gracelessness.

Still, he found himself anxiously eyeing the doorway, just waiting for the moment when the familiar forms belonging to Chanhee and CAP would pass through the door. Despite the fact that he knew his gaze would fall straight to the table, the moment he spotted them.

He didn't want them to feel as though he was trying to obligate them to talk to him. He didn't want them to know just how much he admired them, or how much he wanted them to speak to him again. He didn't want to risk catching the cold look in Chanhee's eyes when he realised that Byunghun was looking at him, like he expected them to become friends or something. He didn't want to have to open himself up to rejection from people he admired so much.

Particularly, when he knew, that realistically, the only thing that would happen, was likely to be, his rejection.

Sure enough the door opened, and the moment Byunghun locked eyes with Chanhee, he tensed, gaze falling to the table before he could see any hint of recognition or reaction from the other boy. He clenched his eyes closed tightly, his heart pounding, as he tried to cross his arms, and drape himself over his desk, leisurely, though he had a feeling the movement looked awkward.

The moment dragged, and he found his lungs burning, the first indication that he'd even stopped breathing, in anticipation of what would happen. More than anything, he'd been hoping, despite himself, that Chanhee would sit down beside him. But his stomach lurched painfully when he eyed the room, half-heartedly, only to see that Chanhee had sat down beside CAP several rows behind him. They probably hadn't even seen him.

He felt the colour that he just knew had to be racing across his face, by the heat in his cheeks. He felt kind of embarrassed, as though he thought that everyone else in the room could read his thoughts; had been able to see his expectations written plainly across his face. He mentally chided himself with reminders of his earlier thoughts, that he shouldn't expect anything from the other boy.

People talked to other people randomly in tutorial classrooms all the time. Only ever speaking once, and then moving on; ignoring the other person's existence for the rest of the semester. It was perfectly normal behaviour. He'd thought the cool, pretty boy Chanhee would behave differently? Would introduce him to all his friends or something? From a single, relatively one-sided conversation in class? Just how pathetic was he?

He should just be grateful that Chanhee's talk with him last week, had told the teacher just how much he'd understood of the week's reading. For a change, he might get a good participation mark. He should be grateful that he was getting something useful out of that single conversation. The thought that he'd get anything else, like an introduction to the coolest guy on campus, just showed how stupid he really was.

But still his eyes glistened, with unshed tears of disappointment, he was hopeful no one else would see or understand. He felt like he'd already been publicly humiliated enough, without someone attempting to comfort him. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his eyes, before class started, lest the teacher look at him weirdly, or worse, ask him if he was okay.

L. Joe sighed to himself, almost unable to believe how worked up he'd gotten about something so insignificant. He really needed to make some friends at this university already. He'd been there for an entire year and he'd yet to make friends with a single person there. About the only people he thought actually knew he existed were... Well actually, it was probably only Chanhee. Everyone else treated him as though he were non-existent, and he didn't have the guts to try and draw attention to himself, as much as he wished that he did.

No wonder he was so excited by the thought that Chanhee might talk to him again today.

Still, understanding the reasoning behind his own feelings, only made him feel more pathetic. And, unfortunately, the worse he felt about himself, the more he admired Chanhee and CAP and their friends. They were like a shining beacon to him, of what life would be like on the other side. And admiring them more, only made him get more emotional about the idea that Chanhee had spoken to him, and made him long for the other's company even more than he already did.

He tried to dislodge his depressing thoughts by shaking his head, but the action only sent his hair flying so that it tickled his ear, giving him shivers up and down his spine. Again his face flushed, half-convinced that everyone else in the class had seen him. He had no idea how he managed to do such stupid, clumsy things all the time, and yet, it seemed to be the only thing he could trust himself to do without fail.

Two humiliations within a span of 10 minutes. Byunghun just wanted the class to hurry up. Unfortunately, there was no chance that the class could end shortly, and put an end to his humiliation for the day, since they had yet to even start their lesson. He just wanted to escape the room, without humiliating himself again, unsure how he'd be able to handle a third humiliation in such a short span of time. He vaguely wondered if his heightened embarrassment was because he knew that Chanhee and CAP were in the room.

The last thing he wanted them to think of when they saw him, was one of his clumsy episodes. But, in direct correlation to that, desire to remain invisible, he always seemed to become more clumsy when one of them was around.

But of course, just when L. Joe wanted to sink into the ground, and pretend that he didn't exist, like this was any other class, the teacher just had to go and require them to do group work again. This time in pairs. His face heated in shame, as he looked down at his desk, trying to distract himself from the sound of everyone else's chairs scraping as they started moving around the room.

He always hated when this sort of thing happened. He'd have to turn around and tell the teacher that he had no partner sooner or later, he knew full well, but the knowledge didn't make the situation any easier to deal with. He'd rather wait here, for someone else to announce they had no partner, and then he could put his hand up. He felt less vulnerable and exposed when he remained sitting in his seat.

Why did teachers insist on working in pairs? Did they not understand how awkward the experience was for someone like Byunghun? Wasn't this some sort of discrimination or something? He could never get his mouth to work, his words freezing on his tongue. He felt awkward and strange, and the sight of someone else's eyes boring into his own, demandingly, or roaming around the room disinterestedly, only made them harder to express. It just made him want to close in on himself more, his heart racing with his nerves, at speaking to someone new, only to get rejected a few minutes later.

The cycle always repeated itself, each time he did this, and it seemed to sort of justify his feelings of being rejected, before the actual rejection even occurred.

He heard the scraping sound of the chair, next to him, and the soft slap of the other person's notebook onto the desk. The person had caught him off guard, and so he jolted, eyes shooting up to take in the appearance of the person he'd be working with for only a second, before he planned to return his gaze to his desk. But in his shock, his shyness was forgotten in favour of gawking at the boy beside him.

Chanhee grinned at him, a short wave of greeting accompanying the gesture. “Hey Byunghun. How's your week been?”

“Fine.” Byunghun gulped, confusion plastered across his face, no doubt judging by Chanhee's amused look.

“Ah good. I was a little worried about you.” Chanhee, confessed easily. Byunghun suspected that his look of confusion was visible to the other boy, judging by his light laugh. “You just didn't look overly happy when I saw you around campus this past week. I waved to you, did you see me?” he continued, brightly.

Byunghun nodded, a little dazed by the other boy's exuberance after the cold shoulder he'd given Byunghun when he'd entered the classroom barely 5 minutes earlier. “I'm glad. I wasn't sure whether I should chalk it up to your shyness, because you didn't see me, or because you were ignoring me.”

“Not at all.” Byunghun whispered, his worry that Chanhee might misunderstand him, forcing his mouth into action. It took him a moment to realise that he'd spoken, the realisation only sinking in when he saw the way Chanhee's eyes twinkled in glee, at having received a response from him. The fact that the sound of his voice, was in some way pleasing to the other boy stirred something within him, making him smile in return.

“Good. But I'm afraid that this means, you've put me in quite a difficult position.” Chanhee informed the other boy, softly clicking his tongue, with disappointment. “See, even though we know one another now, you try and ignore me everytime we see one another. So tell me, how are we going to get to know one another better, with you acting this way?”

“You want to get to know one another better?” Byunghun asked, flustered. His heart was racing at the prospect. He'd forgotten just how exciting it felt when he was making a friend. Still, his words were sluggish, and his speech halting. He was so worried about what he should say; not wanting to make a bad impression, that he found every phrase being checked and rechecked before it could pass from his lips. He wanted to say so much, but he had no words with which to do it; no voice.

“Well how else are we going to become friends?” Chanhee questioned, eyeing Byunghun like he thought he was insane. Byunghun ignored the look, Chanhee's words, sending his mind spinning. If he wasn't careful, he might start hyperventilating, and yet at the moment, he wasn't even sure he was still breathing.

He was used to rejection, and the numbness of never trying, but the thrill of excitement and joy at finding acceptance so quickly and easily, was not something Byunghun could say he was used to. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to a comment like that, but the only words that he said, were not the ones he wished he would. “The teacher's coming around. Maybe we should start discussing the readings?”

The moment they passed through his lips, he wished he could take them back. He felt like he'd ruined something special. Like the moment was an important one, but also a fragile one. Something that he could never reclaim, once it was broken. Something that seemed almost inevitable given his grounded, and probably unfriendly words.

But if that meaning was imbued in his words, Chanhee ignored it, waving in the teacher's direction distractedly. “We've got ages. I'd rather talk about you. I want to get to know you more. Talk to me.”

Byunghun stared at Chanhee, mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to the other boy, he had no idea what “talk to me” meant he should say.

Chanhee cringed, slightly, like he was ashamed of himself, smacking himself in the forehead, lightly. “Right. Sorry. Shy guy means pointed questions, right?” questioning Byunghun lightly, as though he didn't really need an answer. “Okay, um..... Do you have any other names you like to be called, other than Byunghun?”

Byunghun shook his head, “Hmm, well I don't think we can keep things like that. Byunghun is a bit of a mouthful, don't you think?” Chanhee, questioned, amused. “What you mean like... You'd give me a nickname?” Byunghun questioned doubtfully. “Uh huh.” Chanhee responded brightly. “All of our friends have nicknames. You need one too.” Chanhee explained.

“All of you...?” Byunghun asked, sounding doubtful, of who Chunji was referring to, though he had a hypothesis. “My friends. You didn't think CAP was his real name did you?” Chanhee questioned teasing. Byunghun shook his head quickly, “N-no of course not.” he denied. “I just... don't understand why you'd want to give me a nickname. It sounds like it's something special between you and your friends.” he explained, shyly.

“It is. But you'd need one to be able to become friends with my friends. It's like an unwritten prerequisite or something.” Chanhee explained, with a shrug. “Meet your friends? Isn't that a bit sudden?” he questioned, alarmed. Everything seemed to move so quickly with Chanhee. He doubted he could keep up with him, if he insisted on moving at such a fast pace through their relationship.

Chanhee actually laughed at the comment, eyeing Byunghun as though he didn't know if he were being serious or not. “I'm not going to introduce you to them yet. They'd tear you to pieces!” he chuckled. Byunghun gulped, slightly at the thought, not altogether disagreeing with Chanhee's comment, as much as he would like to defend himself. They were so confident and cool, they probably could trample him into the ground, without even trying.

Byunghun considered Chanhee's earlier words, and he found himself, asking, before he could really stop himself. “So then, what's your nickname?” Again, his words seemed to raise mirth in Chanhee's gaze, and a cheeky grin to his lips. “Ah, already dying to know all about me, I see!” he teased, acting as though he weren't sure whether he should tell the other boy or not, before finally, almost begrudgingly confessing, “They all call me Chunji. But now, what to call you...” tapping his finger against his chin, as he stared at the other boy thoughtfully across the table.

“Where are you from?” he continued, as though he didn't know that the teacher was only a few pairs over from them, and they hadn't even started discussing the texts. “I'm from here, same as you. But I spent sometime studying abroad for the last couple of years.” Byunghun answered, his fear of the teacher, prompting him to answer Chunji briskly in the hopes that the other boy would start a discussion about the texts sooner, if he did so.

“Where were you?” Chunji enquired, intrigued, completely unfazed by Byunghun's concern. “America. Now can we please discuss the text.” Byunghun hissed, pleadingly. Chunji vaguely wondered if Byunghun would pout if he continued to withhold the required conversational topic, but he could always try that another day. “Okay, okay.” he agreed, displeased.

- -

Class ended, and the two boys started packing up their stuff. “I'll get back to you about the nickname next week. Promise.” Chunji commented with a grin. “See ya.” he cheerily stated, rushing out of the classroom chasing after CAP.

Byunghun's hands immediately went up to feel his cheeks, certain that he'd feel the familiar warmth telling him that he was blushing, thanks to his nerves. His heart had been thumping, and his stomach churning all class, in his excitement. He'd been so nervous and yet he'd really enjoyed that.

He couldn't believe how much he'd spoken, given that it was only his second time speaking with Chunji. Normally it'd take him ages to be able to speak to someone else. That's why he hadn't really made any friends; no one was prepared to take the time it'd require to get him to open up. But there was something about Chunji's energetic friendliness that just prompted him to respond to him. He was still nervous about it, and yet there was just something about the other boy that drew his words from him; that almost forced him to speak.

He felt almost giddy with his joy, as he stood, even if his knees shook slightly, as he attempted to stand. He'd even managed not to do anything clumsy for a change, while they were talking.

And Chunji said that he wanted to introduce him to his friends! That meant Chunji was going to introduce him to the one and only CAP! He'd never thought something like that would happen to him. But, no, in the course of a week, he'd apparently been befriended by someone he admired, who was planning on introducing him to his beloved idol, when he felt the timing was right.

He felt like the luckiest guy in the world right now.