Amber POV

Today is the date when we first becoming together..

I was dragging myself to the park..  I sat on the bench that we used to spent time together.. enjoying the cold night starring at the beautiful scenery.. looking out for each others warmth.. you circling your arm around my waist and burying your head on my chest.. I was playing with your hair and hugging you protectively.. we just sat there and enjoying the view until you got fall asleep.. we always do that once in a month.. on a specific date.. which is today.. how can I forget about you Krys? Teach me..

I closed my eyes.. leaned my back on the hard surface of the bench.. reminiscing the memories we have.. when suddenly I felt my heart pounding like crazy.. when I always with you.. I opened my eyes slowly.. and saw the most beautiful person I’ve ever imagine I had, standing right in front of me..

“umm.. hello Am..” she greet me with her cold tone but gave me weak smile.. “can I sit here?” as much as I wanted to get out from here.. my body react different from my head.. the longing feelings I’ve always suppress..  it hurt me at the same time.. knowing that she’s not mine anymore..

“sure..” I just simply said that.. avoiding any conversation with her.. or I might ended up shed in tears in front of her.. I move a bit from her side.. to make some space..

“it’s been a while.. and today is the date..” she leaned her back on the hard surface of the bench.. how I wish I could circling my arm around you.. makes my hand and body to be your pillow so you wouldn’t have to feel the hard surface of the bench.. but I just simply can’t.. this is just so frustrating.. please don’t torture me anymore Krys.. why can’t you just go back to my arm and we can start it again from the very beginning?

“yeah..” I really wants to avoid having a conversation with her.. I don’t want my nearly explodes emotion making me do foolish things..

“how have you been? During these 3 years.. after our broke up.. I haven’t heard a news from you since the last time we had a conversation..” why she has to mention about broke up? It makes my head replying the day that you said you can’t be with me anymore.. because your love for me was already gone.. without any particular reason you left me behind with those hurting feelings..

And I've been meaning to say this to you,
My heart isn't black and blue anymore,
And your words don't mean a thing,
When they're sung in vain,

“I’m doing fine..” I shift uncomfortably from my position and try not to look at her.. I avoid her gaze and stare deeply to the night sky… Krys… you just don’t know how I missed you..

“oh.. that’s good than.. you’re already move on right?” she said and smile genuinely to me.. how can I move on? You know that my heart only beats for you..

“yeah…” I gave her a fake smile and lied to her.. stare deeply into the sky as I played with my hands..

“I missed telling all of my story to you.. having a conversation with you.. can we just be as friend again Am?” she just asked the most hurtful question.. I don’t want to be your friend.. I want to be more than just your friend..

“uhmm.. sure..” I just replied with my monotone and I felt a pair of arms hugging me tightly from my left side.. the electricity I felt.. my heart is pounding like crazy.. my stomach feels strange.. this only occurs when she was around me.. her touch is driving me crazy.. she was smiling at me and hugged me tightly.. I froze on the spot.. there is a tingling feelings inside my heart.. the longing feelings of mine are being touch by her.. and it gradually getting stronger.. I have to break the hug before you gave me more insane thought to make you be with me again.. “um.. Krys.. would you mind..” I said slowly.. not wanting she misunderstood.. and she broke the hug immediately and stare at me with her apologetic look.. as soon as she broke the hug.. I felt the emptiness urge out again.. and the lonely feelings coming back to me... pang inside my heart is indescribable..

“sorry Am.. I’m just too happy to have you as my friend again..” she smiled widely.. those smiles that I’ve been missing.. those soft pink lips that I want to remember how it taste like.. the soft milky skin of yours that I’ve been missing to touch.. those fragile figure that I’ve missing to protect..

“for the start.. I want to tell you some good news.. Minho courted me a few weeks ago and I agreed.. you already saw us few times at your café and you know that your coffee still the best coffee I’ve ever taste..” she began to tell her story in so much sparkle eyes.. I stare at her blankly.. noticing that all she was talking about is Minho.. I spacing out.. trying to soothe my hurting heart..

Maybe I was wrong,
I only remember feeling so alone,

I thought my heart is already died out.. why is this hurt so badly?

“good for you then..” I smile to her and patted her head gently.. I said like all of your words.. all of your story.. has no effect on me.. but I was wrong.. no.. I was never right about it.. my heart still can feel the hurt.. it’s not died out.. but it’s gradually getting died out..

This isn't where I meant to lay down,
But you dug this grave - fits me perfectly,
And if you're asking if I'm over love,
You're a fool to believe that you gave me some,

“so how is yours? Did you find anyone?” she asked in excitement.. how can I find anyone when the perfect one already in front of me? But no.. you’re not mine anymore.. you make a deep hole that really fits me perfectly to fall to it and couldn’t get out.. only you can get me out of there deep sorrowful hole of love..

“I was looking on someone..” I lied to her.. if you want the truth answer, no.. I haven’t move on.. I still love you.. no matter how much it hurts.. I will always love you.. it’s stupid.. but I guess.. my love for you is too great till I sometimes can’t figure it out what is right and what is wrong..

“whoaaa!! That’s a great thing!! Can I know her?” yeah.. I’m a les.. she knows it.. that’s why she asked can I know her..

“maybe some other time later… if I can confirm my own feelings on her..” I smile to her with my foolish smile.. I can smile like this because I see her attitude.. the childish attitude that makes me wanna pinch her cheeks and kissed her forehead..

“aaw.. I bet she’s great till you can fall for her..” she smiled and circling her arms around my arm… and she leaned her head on my shoulder.. ugh.. how can I survive this skinship without tears after that?

 

It's been raining here like it never should,
And I can't help believe it's because you're coming,
And if a child wants to run away and a child wants to hide,
Oh, don't come following your fantasy,
Cause you might be surprised