A/N : I am so sorry for not updating!!! I tried to make time to write this though it's kinda hard but I made it! hahahahah!!!! comment and support would be so needed :) ENJOY!!

I'm listening to : There are many of us - Aska Matsumiya. Thanks to the song I got the mood of writing this :D

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I must admit I ing still love Sandara. I still love her and I still need her but I don't want her anymore. I don't miss her at all. Thinking of her is just truly killing me. It's true that she was part of me, she was inside me. But it's the truth that she is only hurting me. Maybe our relationship shouldn't have started in the first place.

. I was so stupid.

One week. One month. Two months. Three months.

It's been two months since we separated. We only see each other on Sunday, for Chaera's sake. She still doesn't know that their parents are separating and going to divorce, well, even if we tell her, I don't think she would understand. Well, maybe she does, because as I remember, she once asked me if me and Sandara are not going to be together forever anymore. I didn't answer her, I bribed her with lollipop and she forgot about it right away.

She has been hanging with Park Bom, even more often than she is hanging with me. The other fact and news, Park Bom is living in my house. Three of us are living together now. She helps me a lot. She helps me in everything. She takes care of both of us and I'm so glad that she's  back and here for me.

Park Bom, I'm so sorry for not choosing you. I think I've made the biggest mistake in my life by marrying…. Sandara.

Today is not Sunday, but today I need to meet Sandara and gonna spend the rest of the day with her.

Chaera has a school trip which required the parents to go. I don't wanna go and asked Chaera if it's okay if Sandara is the only one accompany her, she ended up crying and hating me so… I have to go.

Have I mentioned that me and Sandara have really nothing to talk with each other, or when we start having heavy conversation, we would end up arguing and yelling at each other and that scares Chaera and that would end up -> Sandara leaving with crying face.

Bom kissed Chaera's forehead to say goodbye. I need to say they get along so well, Chaera loves Bom and it's obvious that Bom loves children and she looks like a real mom, like she is the one who gave birth to Chaera. Even Sandara and me don't have the vibe of that. We .

As Sandara's car arrived in front of the house, Bom smiled bitterly to me. I kissed her quick and watched her worriedly, "We don't have to do this anymore if you…." She kissed me again and my hair.

"No. You need to do this. It's for Chaera, remember?"

I kissed her again, playfully, and pushed her against the kitchen table, her purse slid down her shoulder and she laughed, "Hey, she is here." She whispered to me. I turned my head, Sandara is entering the porch already. I sighed, "My hell starts here." I said. Bom giggled. She took her jacket and kissed me for the last time, "See you tonight!"

I pulled her hand and not letting her go. I make a sad face, begging her not to leave and telling them how I'm suffering to spend time together with Sandara. Bom shook her head lightly and smiled gently, gah I like it when she does that. It comforts me. "Let me go, or I won't sleep in your bed tonight." She said.

I pouted. "That's a very unacceptable threat."

Sandara saw us giggling at each other and she stunned on her spot. Bom greeted her like an old friend. Sandara faked a smile for her, well, that's too obvious, Dara. Bom left the house and now… my -soon to be- ex wife is standing before me, with her fabulous light pink dress and her brown wavy hair leaning on her thin and pretty shoulder. Looking at her like this just remind me how I fell in love with her. She is so beautiful.

Sometimes I wonder how come I get to marry this goddess-like woman. I wonder how come she loves me. How come she becomes part of my life. How come I love her so much. How come God let us meet, struggle, but still end up drifting in our confusion and sin.

fairytale. Happy Ending. them all. They are BULL.

"Pretty mom!!!"

Chaera rushed and put her tiny arms around Sandara's thighs because she is too short to reach her. Sandara squatted in front of her and talking with small voices, I don't know what she is whispering about but that makes Chaera laughs and I'm relieved.

"Have you had breakfast?" She asked me all of sudden.

I nodded, "Yeah. I had." I said, handing Sandara Chaera's backpack, "Should I really go?"

Chaera turned her head and starred at me with her sad eyes, she is going to pretend crying and not wanting to go. I smiled and mess with her hair, "I'm going, honey. Let's go." I said, holding her hand but she refused and sticking with Sandara.

"Mom, hold my hand." She looked at Sandara. Sandara looked at me for a sec before holding her daughter's hand tightly, "I miss you, pretty mom. Can't you just go back living here?" Chaera asked.

I walked ahead first, really don't wanna hear those conversations. I might end up mad or sad or cry. This is just too frustrating to deal with.

So we join the school trip. They're going to the…… place I wanna go the least, Zoo. I just can't stand the smell and noises. Even I hate going here when I was a child, that's why my parents used to think I'm a weird kid.

As I expected, people; parents are paying attention on us. I used to deal with it quite well but this time, we spend the time longer and that makes me has to interact with them even though Sandara doe