I still remember the moment I met her. I met her in a very wrong place, wrong time, and the most importantly, I met the wrong person and stupidly fall in love with her.

The picture is still so vivid inside my head, or I should say that now I’m repeating the same exact situation from that night when I first saw her.

I’m drinking at the bar, nearly drunk. My heart ached a lot. My ex girlfriend is dead. She is dead, and it’s me who caused that. I ruined her life, and now, my life is also ed. My boyfriend is going to marry me. My parents are crazy about him. I’m definitely going to spend the rest of my life with him.

I glanced up at this girl, a rare blonde girl to whom I can tell has been watching me for at least 10 minutes. I wasn’t surprised much when she approached me and started talking to me. She looked bloody interested in me since the first time she saw me, I guess.

I was drunk enough to be seduced by her. She took me to her apartment. She kissed me, she caressed me, she held me, she me, she bit me, she me and I was enjoying the moment.

Only when she threw me to bed, she was on the top of me, smiling to me, and… she started pouting, and her lips are cracked. Her eyes turned red and then it also cracked. Her blonde hair started to fall out one by one. Her face started to crack into pieces. She vanished in a blink. I out.

God, where am I? Am I dreaming? Or… am I still alive or not? Is this death? Is this heaven?

Everything is white, and blank. What I could hear is sound of people whispering around me, their voices are echoing. I can’t feel my heartbeat. Those voices are getting louder and louder. I still can’t see anything in front of me. I don’t even know if this is reality or dream. I don’t even know my eyes are shutting or closing. I don’t know what this is.

I feel numb. I can’t feel my body exist anymore. Those voices are still remaining, getting closer and louder and louder. I see a face, a very familiar and beautiful face. The face of the person I can’t even define how much I love her.

Chaerin is right there, crying. She cries my name. She looks so devastated. Where am I, God? What am I doing? I’m dreaming, and I’m definitely dying.

Those voices are getting so close to me. Now I could hear what they’re saying and as I heard the first word, my body is falling to somewhere and… I hear my heartbeat, so loud, pumping so hard.

“Thank God.” Chanted the person I never heard the voice before. My body is swaying gradually. Now the white and blank page has broken into pieces, turned into another page, a blurry, colorful and moving page.

I’m alive.

I opened my eyes slowly and blinked once. I see a doctor with mask on his face. I see his eye smile. He is waving his hand in front of my face and showed me his thumb as I breathe heavily.

“Good.” He muttered.

I can’t open my eyes no more. I feel tired and tired and I out in a second.

Lee Chaerin. I could never define this girl. I could never imagine my life without her. I couldn’t live without her. I need her for the rest of my life. I ing love her and always craving for her love.

I love almost everything about her. I love her smile. I love her touch. I love her silliness. I love her smartness. I love her. So much.

I couldn’t understand myself when I cheated on her. Imagine how stupid I was. How ungrateful I was. That was the biggest mistake I’ve ever done. One mistake, one little lie, that one makes me almost lose her like forever.

Maybe I’m still losing her now or I could also say, I’ve lost her.

I think I’m now conscious. I can hear sound around me, the sound of machine beeping, the sound of air conditioner, the sound of ticking clock, the sound of someone breathing, the sound of myself breathing as well. I trailed my hand to where its’ at. It’s soft and cool, it’s definitely a bed, and from the smell, this is obviously a hospital.

I opened my eyes slowly. Yeah I’m right, I’m in the hospital. I’m not dead. Once again, I fail to kill myself. From this I conclude, I’m not yet supposed to leave this world. I turned left and found someone snoring constantly on the sofa right beside my bed. Jiyoung.

Maybe I’m watching him too long that he finally wakes up by his own. He blinked his eyes, looking at me, like he can’t believe what he is seeing. When he gets closer to me and finally realized that I’m actually real. I’m awake. I’m alive, he grinned. He clutched my hand and squeezed it gently, “You’re awake.” He murmured.

I managed to smile at him. I don’t know for how long I’ve been unconscious. It feels like forever. My body aches a lot, and I feel bloody exhausted, and I’m starving.

I’m glad I see him but still there’s something missing. Chaerin. Where is she? Is she still mad at me? God, those thoughts about her really make my head hurts. Jiyoung went outside to call the doctor to check my condition and when he got back, Chaerin’s mom appeared with a relieved smile. No sign of her daughter, though.

“Wher… where is Chaerin?”

“Don’t talk first, okay? You still need to rest. ” Chaerin’s mom caressed my forehead and she looked so happy. Her eyes are sparkling, she is gonna cry. Cry of happiness. I never know I was that precious for this family. I never know, until now. When I look into Chaerin’s mom eyes, I know she loves me like her own daughter. And when I see Jiyoung’s acts toward me, I know he loves me like his sister. We’re family. That facts somehow ease my pain from not seeing Chaerin the first time I opened my eyes.

Jiyoung came in, “You know you’re a hardcore sick person. You nearly killed yourself, your blood pressure is damn low, you had not been eating for days before we found you, you had anemia, you had high fever as well, and the other thing I couldn’t remember because the doctor was talking in a very genius way. , Sandara, I’m shocked that you’re still alive.”

He makes me smile and I wanna laugh, but it causes my chest bone hurt so I held it.

Jiyoung sat next to his mom on a spinning chair, “Don’t think of her for now. She will show up, that stubborn little brat.” He mumbled.

“Chaerin is fine. She j