It's weekend so I have lot of time to write. I hope you guys don't get bored with this story. I'm gonna make things right but it's just not the time yet. Enjoy btw :p 

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I feel bad. I feel bad for Sandara, and I feel bad for Bom too. I don't know what should I do. I love Bom, really, my love for her grows more and more. But I can't say I'm not in love with Sandara anymore. She is the love of my life. Everything that happens just confuse me. 

It's been 3 weeks since Sandara moved in, and she is barely sleeping at home, maybe she feels so much uncomfortable to be around me and Bom.  Yeah actually sometimes I make out with Bom on purpose, I just want to hurt Sandara back. 

Some nights I would worry about her because she is not coming home. I wonder where she is sleeping. 

So the point is, I don't know what I want or what I'm truly feeling. Sometimes I hate Sandara and want to hurt her but sometimes I worry about her and still care about her.

I don't have appetite again this morning, I feel sick. Bom gave me a quick massage, "Are you okay? Should we go to the doctor?" she asked with her soft and caring voice. I smiled to her briefly. 

"No. I think I'm not going to work this morning. I'm sorry, Bom. I have been burdening you recently." 

Bom kissed me lightly on the cheek, "You're not burden for me. I'm glad helping you with work. Like old days, Chaerin. I'm the best secretary you can ever have." 

"Yeah, you're the best, that's why I like you." I her cheek and kissed her on the lips, deeper and deeper. But then I pushed her away, "I don't want you to get sick too." 

She smiled and kissed me again, "Don't worry, If I get sick too, we could just lay on bed all day long, does that sound good?" 

I chuckled, "That sounds worth to try." I kissed her again. 

"Mom!" 

We both are startled. Chaera is standing by the threshold and looking at us with furious eyes. Oh, this little girl. I'm afraid she's gonna hate Bom and I hope it isn't because of Sandara. She always interrupt us on purpose and she always begs for me to talk often to Sandara because she looks so lonely.

Chaera also once told me that she heard Sandara cried at night when she is sending her to sleep but she never asked what's wrong. She said Sandara looks so hurt and cried so hard that she didn't even want to bother her. What a humble girl.

I went to Chaera, "You're awake. This is your last day going to school, how are you feeling?" 

She shook her head, "Mom, why should I stop going to school?" 

I watched her face, she looks paler and paler and she lost weight. Also, I hate to hear her crying about the shots she has to get every time we go to the hospital. This is hurting but this is the only way. We can't just let her not getting medication and watch her die. No way. I want this girl to be alive forever. I want to see her growing up and I want to take care of her and I will do everything for her. Everything, to keep her alive.

"Because that school is terrible, I will find a better school for you. Okay?" I kissed her forehead and hugged her.

She doesn't hug me back, I feel bad about this. Does she hate me now? I feel like she has been so close to Sandara lately that she barely goes for me. 

"I want you to take me to school." She said. 

I nodded, "Okay, I will." 

She went to the toilet for a pee. I looked at Bom, who is usually taking Chaera to school and pick her up when I'm busy with work.

"I think she dislikes me now." she said bitterly.

I hold her hand and ask her to look at me, "No. She doesn't dislike you. She is just being clingy to Sandara, that's all. She liked you and she still does." 

Bom is starring at me weirdly but then she smile, "I would try to believe what you're saying." she grabbed her bag and kissed me for the last time, "If you feel unwell or you need anything, just call me." she said before leaving for work. I smile to her and kiss her backhand for the last time. She left with a grin. 

Okay I'm so sure I'm sick. 

I've been sweating and my stomach is killing me. After hardly sending Chaera to school. I drive back home with my weak strength. I really try not to hit anything and try to keep my eyes wide awake and try to hang on. I don't want to throw up in my precious car. 

As I reached my home, I can't hold it anymore, I throw up in the yard, and leaving dirts on Sandara's favorite plants. She is gonna kill me. 

"Hey are you alright?" 

I turned around and see Sandara behind me. She seems worried, and I'm wondering what she is doing here while she is supposed to go to work. And oh yeah, she didn't come home last night. I'm curious about her life now, how she is doing, what she's up to, but I never get a chance to ask or never have the guts.

"Let me help you." she put my arm around her neck and placed her hand on my waist. My knees feel so weak and I let her help me get up, and she brought me into the house.

"Thank you." I said as she leaned me on the couch. She looked at me worriedly, "What happened? Should I call a doctor?"