Chapter 8

, of all days I had to be late today would be the day.

My small car tried to makes its way through all the airport traffic but it was no use.  I was stuck in a deadlock.  I looked in the small mirror of my car and readjusted my messy hair that was now tied in a tight bun at the top of my head.  My go-to hair style when I had absolutely no time or patience to deal with my mane of frizz.  Mina’s flight arrived half an hour ago and I was still three gates down from where I told her I would pick her up.  Thankfully, a large van moved out of the way, giving me ample space to pass the line of cars waiting at another loading area.

I laughed to myself as I saw Mina tapping her foot on the ground with her hands on her hips.  She spotted my car and shook her head at me with a small smirk.  I waved towards her and parked my car to help her with her things.

“You,” Mina said pointed with a glare.  “Are late.”

I nodded my head and grabbed her large suitcase to put in the back trunk.  Mina followed me towards the back and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“Aish, I know I’m sorry,” I said while closing my trunk.  “The traffic here is ridiculous.  I don’t think I will ever get used to it.”

Mina laughed and flicked the tight bun on the top of my head.  We both went back to the front of the car and took our seats inside.  I let out a relieved sigh and started to head towards the café I told her I would take her to after she arrived.

“I missed you bestie.”  I heard Mina say.  I turned towards her and she was smiling sweetly at me.  I giggled and pushed her lightly on her shoulder.  “You’re still physically abusing me I see.  You will never change.”

I missed her so much that seeing her now right next to me made me realize how attached I was to her.  Being away from someone so long kind of makes you forget how you felt when you were with them, but having her presence here made me never want to let her leave.

“Thanks for coming by the way,” I said as we hit another stoplight.  “I actually have a favor to ask you.”

I saw Mina’s head perk up in my side vision and I let out a small chuckle.  “My friend is having his birthday party tonight at a club and I---”

“A Korean club?”

I nodded.

“Okay,” Mina said quickly.  “You had me at the word ‘club’.”  We shared a laugh and I saw her adjusting the radio to my car.  “I’ve been working on my Korean on the plane.  I got a couple conversational phrases down, but I don’t even think I am pronouncing it right.  Sorry if I embarrass you tonight.”

I shook my head.  “Its fine.  Just don’t talk.  That will be better.”

Mina came across the car and pulled the tight bun out of my hair.  I gasped and smacked her in the arm while I tried to pull out my hair before it fell in my face.

“I’m so excited to go out tonight!”  Mina said clapping her hands in excitement.  “I want to see the guys you’ve been talking about on the phone.  I Googled them you know, they aren’t bad looking.  Especially one named Taeyang.  He.  Is.  Fine.”

“Stop Googling everyone I know, it makes me feel creepy,” I said as I laughed.

“If you didn’t have me then you wouldn’t know anything about anyone.  You don’t have a Facebook or Twitter, I swear you are a anti-social nomad or something,” Mina said scoffing at me.  “But I am glad you made some friends here.  It made me worry less.”

I nodded my head with a closed mouth smile as we turned into the parking structure of the small café I often visited near my apartment.  Mina and I stepped out together and slammed our doors in unison.  She ran over to the other side to greet me and linked arms with me happily.

“So, tell me about this Jiyong guy.”

“He took you out to dinner on his birthday?  That’s so sweet!”

I rolled my eyes and took another bite of the muffin we decided to share.  Mina intertwined her fingers and rested them under her chin.  I looked up at her and she was sending me a happy smile.  My eyes automatically rolled.

“He didn’t even tell me it was his birthday,” I said chewing loudly.  “There was nothing sweet about it.”

“I think he likes you,” Mina said as she smirked at me across the table.  I looked up and I saw her slightly nodding her head.  “Why else would he call you every night and take you out to dinner on such a special day?”

I shrugged my shoulders.  Jiyong only called me to talk about himself and when he did ask me personal question I would just avoid them.  I knew everything about Jiyong, I knew his mannerisms, his secrets, and his fears.  Though he knew nothing of me, especially my past.  I’d like it better that way though.  I thought to myself though, on some occasion; even though Jiyong didn’t know much about me, he still accepted me with open arms.  He still never turned his back on me even though he knew nothing about me.  He trusted me.  And I, to some extent, felt like I could trust him.  Though, the closer I got with him, the more I felt inclined to tell him I would be leaving soon.  That was something I definitely wanted to avoid as much as possible.

“We’re just friends, Mina,” I said with a sigh.  “Seriously, you’ll see tonight how we are.  We are nothing but close friends.”

Mina nodded and took out something from her purse.  She placed a small book down on the table and started running her fingers through some bookmarked pages.

“So tell me again,” she said as she read from the book.  “How do you say, ‘Do you want to dance with me?’ in Korean?”

“Oppa, you didn’t have to!  Seriously!”

My eyes scanned the extravagant gift basket that was just delivered to my house.  Mina was already picking through it finding all the sweet treats that were inside.  I smacked her hands away and she in return stuck her tongue out at me. 

I heard Psy-oppa laugh from the other line, “Ahh its fine.  I can’t come tonight to meet your friend so I decided to send you both off to have some fun tonight.  My wife picked out the beauty products.  I hope your friend likes them.”

I glanced over at Mina and she was already looking at the array of facemasks that she got from the basket.  She started at the Hangul writing on the package and I heard her trying to sound out each syllable like a child would.

“She likes it already, she’s looking at all the stuff.”

“Thank you oppa!  You’re daebek!” Mina screamed into my ear so Psy-oppa could hear.  I shoved her away and she ran back to the bedroom giggling.  She was still in the middle of getting ready.

“I like that dongsengg already,” Psy-oppa said laughing into the phone.  “Have fun tonight and don’t get into so much trouble!  We have a plane to catch tomorrow!”

I laughed into the phone and hung up the phone with him.  I had almost forgotten about the flight I would have to catch tomorrow afternoon with Psy-oppa and Mina to Los Angeles.  Back home.

“Hurry up and get ready,______!” Mina shouted from the bedroom.

I walked towards my room and leaned on the doorframe.  Mina was sitting on my floor applying some of her face make-up on.  She pointed towards my bed and there was two outfits perfectly laid out on my sheets.  She asked me to pick the best outfit and I only shrugged and chose the one closet to me.

“You didn’t even look at it,” Mina said staring at her reflection in the mirror.  “What are you wearing tonight by the way?”

I walked over to my closet and glanced at the options I had set out the night before.  Mina came from behind me and gave me a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me look.

“What?”

Mina shook her head and ventured deeper into my closet.  I heard her rummaging around until she finally stepped out with a huge smile on her face and a dress in her hands.  “Now this is a dress.”

I shook my head frantically and put up my hands.  “Mina, I can’t wear that in Korea.  They have different standards here.”  I looked at the detailing in the back, or should I say lack-of back.  “I can’t wear that tonight.  Especially in front of my friends.”

Mina rolled her eyes and shoved the dress into my arms.  “Wear it.  It still has the price tag on too!  Its not even that bad, it has long sleeves on it.  Its just the back.”

Mina guided me towards my full-length mirror and we both stood before it as she put the dress up to my body.  She nodded in approval and went back inside my closet to find me some heels to go with my outfit.  I nervously ran a hand through my hair and looked at the dress once more in my reflection.

At least if I embarrass myself tonight, I will be leaving the country tomorrow for a couple days.

Jiyong took another small sip from his cocktail and began greeting the guests that were slowly piling into the VIP section of the small club.  All of his close friends were there to celebrate his 25^th birthday and he felt love and appreciation towards his hyungs that set everything up for him.

“Yah!  Have you seen ________-ah yet?” Seungri yelled over the table towards Jiyong.  Jiyong glared at his dongsengg’s rudeness and shook his head no in response.  “Tell me when she comes, okay?”

Jiyong nodded his head and began talking to a few of his old staff members he had met throughout the years.  Teddy and Kush were busy getting their drinks by the bar, while the other members were scattered around the top level talking to all of their friends.  Jiyong patiently sat and played with the many rings on his fingers.  His teeth instantly gnawed down on his bottom lip as he checked the time on his phone once more.

Where is she?

“So have you talked to her about your debut yet?”

Jiyong shot his head up and saw Teddy sitting next to him with his arm around the couch they sat on.  Jiyong leaned back and furrowed his eyebrows together.  He had completely forgotten to why he wanted to be-friend you in the first place.  He knew of your status and wanted your approval for his debut in the States, though as time went on he found himself attracted to you rather than wanting your approval.  He had tried a couple of times to ask you about things pertaining towards his solo album, but you nearly shrugged it off and said, “It’ll be fine.  Just trust yourself.” 

Jiyong shook his head and began playing with his rings again.  You told him to trust himself, but he barely knew who he was.  Whenever you were near him he felt like a completely different person, the complete opposite of the person that inhabited his body for the past couple of years.  You made him feel different.  Jiyong knew that he had slightly deceived you from the moment they met but he also knew that he actually truly cared for you.  There were parts of Jiyong’s life that he had to act out because of the business he was involved in, but he could never fake his friendship with you.  Every time you picked up his calls on the first ring, Jiyong would instantly find himself talking for hours before realizing the sun was already rising.  Every time you made him food or worried about him, Jiyong couldn’t stop smiling at your sincerity and your pure heart.  Every time you bullied him or argued with him, Jiyong couldn’t help but want to make you frustrated even more just so he could see you all flustered and cute.

Jiyong shook the thoughts out of his head and looked back at his hyung.

“No I haven’t yet,” Jiyong spoke softly.  “I don’t even know what I am doing anymore.”

Jiyong never wanted to end up in this position.  He knew that he wanted to get close enough to you so you could feel comfortable telling him about what things the audiences in the States were looking for.  Though, he never would have guessed that he would become good friends with you.  You never refused anyone when they asked for your help.  You always put everyone before yourself.  You were confident and had a sharp tongue, though when it came down to it, you were naturally shy and sensitive.  You had a kind heart and a great sense of humor that Jiyong appreciated, and you had an addictive smile that would make anyone feel flustered.

What the hell?

You were so different from Kiko.  The differences were so blatantly obvious that even someone that didn’t know both girls could see the differences.  Jiyong shook his head and wondered why he was even comparing both girls.  Kiko was his past and you were just his best friend.

She’s a friend, Jiyong.  Your friend.

“Holy.  .”

Jiyong looked over at Teddy and his eyes were looking ahead of him.  Jiyong raised an eyebrow and grabbed the drink from his hyung’s hands before it dropped on the floor.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Jiyong looked ahead and squinted his eyes.  Ahead he saw two girls making their way onto their part of the balcony.  One of the girls, he had never seen before.  She was definitely pretty with her long flowing black hair.  She wore a tight patterned dress and with a bright smile to match.  She awkwardly bowed towards everyone and looked behind her with a small laugh.  Though, the thing that left Teddy speechless was the person who followed that girl.

There you were.  Nervously pulling at the hem of her dress. You awkwardly followed the girl up the stairs and bowing a couple of times towards some of the people lingering around.  Jiyong took in your form with his wide eyes and noticed that the back of your dress was, well—not even there.  You had on a form fitting black dress that covered your arms as well as down to the middle of your thighs.  A very intricate lace design was noticed on the sides of your dress as you turned around to talk to the girl that was in front of you.  You didn’t curl your hair like you usually did, but instead you made it completely straight as it fell down you back.  Your lips were painted bright red and you seemed to have put on more mascara then usual, making your already large eyes seem even brighter.  Jiyong was left speechless.  And much to his dismay so was every other male in the room.

“Seungri, this is my best friend Mina from back home.”

Seungri grabbed the girl’s hand and kissed the back of it.  You smacked him on the shoulder and your friend only let out a small giggle.  Jiyong carefully watched your mannerisms as you stood on the opposite side of the club from him.  You kept tugging at your hemline and pulling more hair on your back so it would cover the exposed area.

Holy .

“Youngbae-oppa,” you said brightly.  “This is my friend Mina.  She is a huge fan of yours.  She can’t speak Korean very fluently but try and talk to her in English.”  The girl next to you laughed and bowed politely.  Youngbae instantly stood up and adjusted his dress shirt.  Jiyong laughed at his best friends actions, he knew that Youngbae was probably nervous in front of the new girl.

“She looks so hot right now,” Kush whispered into Jiyong’s other ear.  Jiyong turned towards his friend and noticed him scanning you up and down.  Jiyong instantly frowned as he saw his friend’s reaction.  He didn’t like everyone analyzing and staring at you like that.  He knew he didn’t have any right to feel like that but he just did.

“Let’s take shots!”

Those were the last words Jiyong and you heard before the night began become one big mess.

“Youngbae-oppa,” Mina slurred as she bent down to his eye level.  Youngbae laughed and moved her hair away from her face.  “Don’t you think _______ is so pretty?  People used to think we were twins back in high school but everyone knew I was the prettier one.”

“Yah!”  I hit Mina’s arm as I tried to balance my cocktail in the other hand.  “Stop lying to everyone.  It was a privilege to even be compared to my beauty!”

The entire table laughed as the club music began to bump loudly in my eardrums.  I slowly got up from my seat and readjusted my dress.  That’s when it hit me.

Holy , I’m drunk.

I don’t even know how it happened.  One minute Seungri-oppa was pouring us shots and the next minute I saw him dancing on the table with a couple of unknown girls.  Mina was still talking with Youngbae-oppa on the couch and I noticed Teddy and Kush on the other side by the bar.  I walked, well tried to walk, over to both of them and Teddy instantly caught my waist before I toppled down the stairs.

“Are you okay?” Teddy laughed as I held onto his shoulder for more balance.  “I think Seungri gave you too much alcohol.”

I laughed and shook my head at his words.  “Aniyo, I had just enough.”  I hiccupped and covered my mouth quickly before more escaped.  The two men before me laughed as I tried to save whatever dignity I had left.  Leave it to Mina and Seungri to get me drunk in front of my coworkers.  Just then a loud song full of bass started playing in the club, I covered my ears and noticed that the song was actually in English.  I felt a tug on my arm and noticed Mina swaying in front of me.  I threw my head back in laughter and watched as she grabbed my other arm.

“This is how American girls dance!” Mina shouted towards Youngbae-oppa.  He laughed in return and watched the two of us.  “Not like those robots downstairs!”  Mina yelled as she looked down the balcony towards the other club goers.

“Drop it low, !”  Mina screamed in English.  We both shared a drunken laugh and we turned to face one another as we swayed along to the club music.  I dipped low in front of Mina and started swaying my hips to the rhythm of the music.  Mina let out a loud yell as I went lower and she began laughing as grinded up on her hips.  “Get it, get it!

I laughed as she grabbed onto my hips and we playfully gave each other winks as we swayed our hips to the music.  How I missed dancing so much.

As much as I enjoyed dancing up on Mina, I realized that I was not in an American club and the way we were acting made it seem like we were lovers.  I knew I was drunk but I wanted to maintain some sort of dignity before I got anymore drunk tonight.  I slowly pulled away from Mina and I noticed many pairs of eyes on us from the table.  Seungri and Youngbae both had their mouths wide open, as well as the other members of Big Bang.  I shamefully covered my face as Mina grabbed my hips again and made me dance along to the new song.

“Okay, Joon-sshi was not lying when he said she could dance,” Seunghyun whispered to Daesung as he let out a small whistle from under his breath.  “Aish, I feel like I shouldn’t even be watching this.”

“Suit yourself!” Kush said laughing.  “I love American girls!”

“What are you guys talking about?”  Jiyong entered the balcony again with a new drink in his hand.  All of his friends turned to look at him and then slowly nodded towards where Mina and you were dancing.  Jiyong gave a confused look to his friends and slowly turned towards where they were directing their attention.

Again, holy .

Mina and you were currently dancing with one another and getting increasingly lower to ground as your dresses rose slightly.  Youngbae awkwardly turned his head and slapped Seungri so he wouldn’t look as well.  Jiyong looked at you and realized he never saw you act like this before.  You were acting, well…drunk.   You tossed your head back and laughed as your best friend sang along to the song that was currently playing through the club’s stereos.

Jiyong watched as Mina fell to the ground in a laughing fit.  All the boys stood up slightly to help her but her best friend carefully grabbed her hand and led her towards the couch while laughing.  Mina fell besides Youngbae and he gave her a small eye smile before offering some of his water.  Mina happily obliged and leaned in closer towards her new friend.

“Youngbae-oppa, tell me more about Jiyong and ______,” Mina said playfully.  “Does he like her?  Tell me honestly, oppa!”

Youngbae laughed at the girl and helped her cross her legs so she wouldn’t expose any of her undergarments.  Mina giggled at their touch and she leaned in even closer towards him.  “Aniyo, it isn’t like that.  They are just really good friends.”  Mina pouted at Youngbae and he gave her another chuckle.  Mina then grabbed a hold of his hand and yanked him up from his seat.  Youngbae’s usually small eyes were now extremely wide in surprise.

“Oppa, lets dance!”

Youngbae, who was more than happy to dance, nodded his head yes to Mina and they both walked to another part of the balcony so that they could dance in peace.  You watched carefully as Mina got up from the couch with Youngbae in hand.  You laughed at your friend’s boldness and grabbed the nearest water bottle.

Mina’s probably scaring Youngbae-oppa to death right now.

“Hey, you.”

You turned around and saw Jiyong sitting above you on the couch’s back.  You smiled at him and gave a little wave.  Jiyong laughed at your childish gesture and leaned in closer so you could hear him over the loud music.

“You didn’t even say hello to me when you came in, and now you’re drunk because I left you alone with Seungri,” Jiyong said laughing as I pouted.  “This doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Jiyong!”  I said as I swatted his arm away from my shoulder.  “He tricked me!  He said only a couple shots and then BOOM.  Here I am.  Drunk.  As a skunk.”

Jiyong threw his head back with laughter and looked down at his friend.  “Oh my goodness, you really are drunk.”  Jiyong got off his seat and grabbed a hold of your arm.  You let him pick you up off the couch and walk towards the wall of the room.  Jiyong helped you push you dress hemline down your legs and you blushed at the feel of his hands on your legs.  You swatted them away quickly before he saw your change of face color.

“Stop it,” you said softly.  You moved your hair behind your ears and slowly turned away from him.

Why does he smell so good, damn it.

Jiyong looked down at you and noticed you seemed nervous.  Which was a first for him.  He grabbed your chin and tilted it towards him and you moved quickly out of his grasp.  Jiyong laughed at you.  Even drunk, you still didn’t like skinship.

“Jiyong.”

Jiyong leaned forward so he could hear you better.  You moved close to his earyou’re your breath tickled his skin.

Why does she smell so good?  .

“Lets dance.”

Jiyong thought he heard wrong.  He moved back towards the wall and that only made you come closer towards him.  You grabbed his hands and laced your fingers with his.  Jiyong panicked.  He wasn’t in the slightest bit drunk.  He knew that you would regret this in the morning since they were such good friends and you were acting well, rather intimate.  But his body wasn’t listening to what his mind was telling him to do.

You turned around slowly and Jiyong instantly laid his hands on your small waist.  You leaned back and began swaying your hips to the rhythm of the music.  Jiyong closed his eyes momentarily and cursed under his breath for letting his emotions take over his sanity.  Jiyong laced his fingers with yours and you slowly began dipping lower with the sounds of the bass.  Jiyong’s eyes widened as you skillfully snapped back up and began moving again with the same pace you were dancing to before.  Jiyong shook his head.

This is wrong.

You turned to face him and you put your arms cautiously over his shoulder.  You slowly traced your fingers up to his neck and you rested your hands there.  The hairs on Jiyong’s neck stood up as you began running your hands slowly between his locks of hair.  You began swaying your hips again to the music and Jiyong slowly started moving with you as well.  Jiyong leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours.  He felt ashamed that he was sharing such an intimate moment with your when he knew that you wouldn’t remember this in the morning.  But tonight, he felt selfish.

I didn’t know what came over me but the minute I grabbed Jiyong’s hands, my body became a monster of its own.  I don’t remember grinding my hips into his.  I don’t remember dipping low near his manhood.  And I sure don’t remember putting my hands through his hair.  But I sure as hell remember him leaning his forehead against mine and whispering those words to me.

“What are you doing?”

I instantly drew back from Jiyong and released my hold around his neck.  What the hell was I doing?  I was drunk, not an idiot.  I quickly panicked and ran to find Mina.  This wasn’t supposed to happen.  I heard Jiyong call my name a couple times but I never looked back.  What the hell was I doing?  How could I act so carelessly with a friend?  I heard his quick footsteps behind mine but I never stopped running away from him.  I just ruined everything.

Jiyong watched as you grabbed Mina’s hand away from Youngbae and ran down the stairs together.  Jiyong kept screaming your name but you refused to turn around and acknowledge him.  Jiyong met with Youngbae’s confused eyes and he only groaned and ran a hand through his hair, the same hair you had just touched.  Jiyong lifted his head towards the ceiling and replayed those moments that just took place not too long ago.  The way you moved your hips near his and they way you bit down on your lower lip made Jiyong groan again.  Stop it, stop thinking about it.  The way you dipped low and the way you ran your hands through this hair, the feeling was hypnotizing to him.  You ruined it, you ruined everything.  Jiyong kicked the railing on the balcony before thinking back to the words he whispered to you as your foreheads touched.  His insides were tossing and turning and his mind was a clouded mess.  When Jiyong touched you he felt something spark inside of him.  He didn’t know what was going on with these new feelings, so he accidentally opened his mouth and spoke what his mind was asking him.

“What are you doing to me?”

I scared her away. 

Jiyong sat down on the couch and his head fell down towards his lap.  The only real friendship he had with a girl was now completely destroyed because he let his inhibitions get the best of him.  He should have known better not to let you take his hand, or dance with him, or even let you bite down on your lip while you danced with him.  He should have known better.  But the more he scolded himself, the more he realized how confused he was about you.

What are you really doing to me?