Chapter 2

Jiyong was tired.  Not physically, but mentally.  The endless rumors and the worried looks he’d been receiving wasn’t helped his condition either.  He was a perfectionist, a tiresome work-a-holic, an artist.  Debuting with Big Bang was one of the happiest moments of his life, though with success comes a great burden.  The troubles and pressures of being perfect and being great caught up to him over the years.  Music was his passion, though he was slowly losing focus after the release of the Tonight album.  Scandals were released to the public and Jiyong finally broke down.  The nearly perfect G-Dragon was shown to be the very human Kwon Jiyong to the public.  Most appreciated his efforts to make his wrong doings right, though there were some that punished him by disregarding his talent and labeling him as a sinner.
 

After President Yang discussed his possible comeback as a solo artist over the difficult year, Jiyong knew what direction he wanted to take with this album.  He wanted a new clean slate, he wanted to start over.  He wanted this album to be his last love letter to his anti-fans, his one-sided love, and his past.  Jiyong knew that this album was going to be the one that would bring him attention over in the States.  His friends Teddy and Kush, both producers, knew the trades and tricks of the music business overseas.  All three men knew what the people in the States wanted to hear.  Hip-hop was the direction this album would take, with the exceptions of the ballads in the album.  Jiyong instantly began writing the minute his solo comeback was given the green light.  Though the words seemed to fill his mind, they never could make it on the paper in front of him.  The only track he’d written in time for the slotted recording session was titled: One of a Kind.  A boastful song about his popularity and talents.  He didn’t understand how that song came so easily to him when the others didn’t.

“It’s because you wrote One of a Kind as G-Dragon, not Jiyong."

Teddy’s words were right.  Yet, Jiyong was still confused.  He was still lost.  He didn’t even know who Jiyong was anymore.  He lost his sense of self along with his stage persona as G-Dragon.  Over the years he had worked himself to almost nothing, he drank and stayed out too late and started an obsession with a girl that later e-sided.  Jiyong wasn’t himself, but then again, maybe he never knew who he really was before Big Bang.  Presently, to himself, Jiyong was nothing more than a lost soul.

“So, anyone cute in Korea?”

I laughed as I rolled over on my bed.  My cell phone was tucked securely between my shoulder blade and ear as I tried to attempt to multitask while talking to my best friend.  Multitask failure.  I thought to myself as I watched the ball of yarn roll off my bed and into my closet, which was too out of reach.  Why did I take up knitting again?

“First off,” I said as I redirected my full attention to my conversation.  “I don’t even notice things like that.  And second, why don’t you just come down here yourself and be the judge of that.”  I’ve been trying to convince Mina for a month now to visit me in Korea.  The huge apartment that my company rented for me was feeling rather lonely these past few weeks, and her warm personality would definitely make me feel better.

“Ah, stop trying to trick me into coming.  You know I would, but I have to check my schedule for my fall classes.”

The kettle in the kitchen began hissing my name, telling me that my tea was ready to be made.  My heavy feet made its way to the stove as I poured the hot water into the ceramic mug waiting for me on the island counter.  I inhaled a deep breath of green tea before realizing Mina was still talking to me on the phone.

“And did you know that fish can sleep, I didn’t even know that.  Seriously, this zoology class is changing my life.”

“Your life is changed because you now know fish can sleep?”

“I mean, yeah.  Wouldn’t your life feel drastically different after knowing that?”

I laughed at her joke and took another sip of tea.  “Oh, of course.”

I miss being able to feel comfortable around people.  The only ones here that I felt remotely close with are Psy and his family.  My mother called and left me a voicemail the other day saying how she’s worried because I don’t pick up her calls.  Its because I don’t want another reminder of how boring I am and how I work too much.   I really missed my parents and Mina, and her making me laugh so easily wasn’t helping with my homesickness.

“Mina,” I paused and fought tears forming in my eyes.  “I’m lonely.”

That was the first confession I’d made since starting my new job.  I never wanted to admit that I was lonely.  I felt weak, I felt vulnerable.  To be in my position at such a young age was an accomplishment, an honor as well.  To be competitive and to be the best in this industry, companies can’t hire weak people.  The one thing I didn’t want to become was weak.  But right now, listening to my best friends voice, sitting in a cold empty apartment, made me feel more weak then ever.

“Aww _______,” Mina said soothingly.  “Don’t feel like that.  You have me and your family, we’re just one phone call away.  And you have that Psycho guy and his family, you said they were really nice to you!”

Laughter escaped my lips so easily while I was talking to her, “You mean Psy?  Yeah, I know I have them but I just…”

I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore.  Nothing made sense to me.  Maybe I was over-doing myself.  I haven’t felt like myself in years because of the constant traveling and workload placed on me.  I was too young to be feeling this old.

“Hey, I got to go, but I will call you later okay?”  A small frown made its way onto my face as she said those words.  “But I will try and figure something out so I can visit you.  Or maybe you can wire me some of those millions of dollars you make so you can send me up there?”

“You know I would,” I say back quickly.

“Ahh, I was just joking you fool!” Mina laughed on the other line and I heard her make some ruffling noises through the phone.  “Okay, I will see you later ________!  And start watching more American television, your English is getting kind of awkward, not gonna lie.”

The line made a beeping noise, indicating she hung up.  Even thousands of miles away she still was the only one that could make me smile and laugh so effortlessly.  As much as I missed the people back home, I didn’t miss home itself.  Working back in the States was so different compared to the artists here in Asia.  From the few artists I worked with, I have noticed the differences instantly.  The world of celebrity is much different in the States; drugs, , and alcohol surround it like if it were the air they breathe.  I wasn’t fond of the celebrity world in the States, though my job required me to work with all artists from all around the world.  I felt more comfortable with the Asian artists over everything.  They were passionate and hard working, they were respectful to their managers and seniors and they worked hard, really hard.  The strict censorship in Korea also made their songs focus on the lyrics and the melody rather than the revealing costumes or provocative lyrics.  Plus, Asian artists were highly driven by album concepts, which made my job ten times easier and enjoyable.

I was extremely skeptical in letting Psy branch out to the States.  As much as some international artists strive for the exposure, there are repercussions that could take place.  Artists could receive backlash or experience failure when they first debut, the cultural difference might not be as easy of a transition as one would hope it to be.  I didn’t want Psy going through that if all things didn’t work out in the end.  I’ve seen international artists try to debut by not listening to my professional advice, the ending result wasn’t always pretty.  Though I am relieved that the audience back home received Psy humor and talent with open arms.  Psy’s growing overseas popularity was what the Korean industry needed, they needed the exposure to much more talented artists.

How I ended up thinking about work again baffled me.  All I did was work, and now when I was in my own home, I ended up thinking about work again.  Seriously ________, you need to stop.  I sighed and rested my head on the cool island counter.

“Maybe I need a cat.”

“Daesung-hyung hasn’t returned any of my calls lately!  Its irritating!”  Seungri explained to his hyungs as they sat at their usual table in the cafeteria.  Now joining Teddy, Seungri, and Jiyong was Kush and Youngbae.  All the men blatantly ignored the makane as they continued their own conversations with each other.  The youngest member groaned in annoyance, now catching everyone’s attention.

“You’re the irritating one,” Youngbae said truthfully.

Jiyong laughed as he watched his friends continue to bicker with one another.  He threw his arms over his best friend, Youngbae’s, shoulder and started contributing to the roast of the youngest one.

“I wouldn’t answer your calls either if you kept pestering me like that,” Jiyong said as he laughed with the rest of the table.  The makane huffed and pouted his lips in a cute fashion and crossed his arms over his chest.  The dramatic expression earned more laughter from the table before they all continued to eat peacefully.  That was until; a loud voice interrupted their meal.

“Noona!”

All five heads looked up at the loud voice and their eyes all squinted in irritation.

“I swear that trainee is like a mini-Seungri,” Kush whispered to everyone else on the table.  “He even dresses like him too!”

Seungri scoffed and turned back towards his hyungs, “I’m much better looking though.”

Jiyong rolled his eyes and followed his attention to the girl that was standing before the trainee.  She was rolling her eyes at the boy and giving him an irritated expression.  Jiyong laughed at her facial expressions and wondered why he hadn’t seen her around the building before.  Maybe she’s a new employee?

“Hyung, who’s that?” Jiyong asked curiously as Teddy looked towards where he was pointing.  “I’ve never seen her before.”

“She was here last week.” Teddy responded as he slurped up more of his soup.  “She’s helping Psy-hyung with his album.  I think she’s an art director, or something dealing with the international marketing of it.  I don’t know really, its just what I’ve heard.”

“She’s cute,” Seungri said in a whisper to the table.

“We established that,” Teddy shot back sarcastically.

Jiyong watched as the girl threw up her hands in frustration and walked away from the trainee table and towards the lunch ladies.  The trainee that called out her name before began pouting as she walked further away.  He must like her.

“Annyeonghaseyo!  Can I have it to-go please?  Psy-oppa is making me his slave for today since I lost a bet in arm wrestling,” the girl said after bowing to the lunch ladies with a wide smile.

“You’re always so sweet to us,” one of the workers replied.  “Take more side dishes with you!  You’re too skinny!”

The girl laughed and leaned over the counter to see all the side dishes.  She was wearing a fitted skirt and heels, and as she leaned over the counter the table of trainees began hollering at her.  The girl quickly turned around and blushed from the attention, she pulled her skirt back down and shot a glare at the young boys.

“Seungri, shut up!  You’re not 16 years old!” Youngbae scolded as Seungri slowly put his hands down from clapping and admiring the girls’ assets.

“She set herself up for that one,” Kush joked as he noticed the girl trying to pull her skirt down even more.  “A girl with that kind of body shouldn’t wear such fitting clothes.  That should be a crime.”

“And you call me the ert,” Seungri said laughing while his hyung reached over the table and smacked his head.  “Owww!”

Jiyong, still observing the newcomer, watched as she made her way back to the entrance of the cafeteria.  The trainee table began screaming her name before she simply replied, “Shut up, I don’t know you.”  Jiyong laughed at her bluntness and watched the disappointed boys sit back down in their chairs.  She clicked down the hallway and further made her way out of Jiyong’s vision.  He shook himself out of the weird trance and began writing random lines in his notebook, working on the new song that just popped into his head.

Okay, never challenge a man in arm wrestling ________, what the hell were you thinking.  Yeah, lets arm wrestle to see who has to pick up the food today.  You’re just setting yourself up for failure __________.

After mentally scolding myself, I headed towards the cafeteria.  As punishment I was ordered to pick up Psy oppa’s food from the cafeteria and then hand deliver it to him in the conference room.  The shame, ugh I swear I am going to kill him.  Deeply engrossed with my inner monologue, a loud voice broke my train of thought.

“Noona!”

Just, no.

“Noona!”
 

Joon excitedly stood up and waved towards me as I entered the cafeteria.  He was with three boys who looked just as excited to see me as he was.

“Go away.”

I headed towards the lunch ladies who were already smiling at me from a distance.

“Ah, noona stop being like that!  We just wanted to know if you wanted to come with us to the dance studio today,” Joon said sweetly as he motioned towards the other boys.

I stopped in my tracks and slowly the ball of my heel.  My eyes slanted in a glare towards Joon.  “Why would I want to come to the dance studio with you?”

Joon laughed and shook his head, “Ah noona, you’re so cute when you’re mad.  Don’t worry, I already told the guys you like to dance.  They want to see too!  I told them you’re really good and they got all jealous that I was the only one who saw.”

The boys at the table smacked him on the head and began yelling at him.  Joon let out a huff and crossed his arms in embarrassment from the group punishment.  I rolled my eyes and began walking away from the table.  I knew he couldn’t keep his little troll mouth shut.

“Noona, come back!”

“Annyeonghaseyo!  Can I have it to-go please?  Psy-oppa is making me his slave for today since I lost a bet in arm wrestling,” I said to the lunch ladies as I gave them a respectful bow.

“You’re always so sweet to us,” one of the workers said to me.  “Take more side dishes with you!  You’re too skinny!”

I smiled widely and leaned over the counter to get a good look at all the side dishes she had for the day.  As I was picking out my choices I heard voices from behind me hooting and hollering.  Panicked, I turned around and saw them all looking in my direction.  My skirt had risen a bit and I cursed myself for wearing this outfit today.  Stupid skirt, stupid stupid skirt, why of all days did I decide to wear this?  I pulled my skirt down and gave the table a glare.  The lunch ladies in front of me laughed and whispered to me, “You have all the boys in the room looking at you.  I’m so jealous.”

I scoffed and smiled politely at her.  Having anyone’s attention was the last thing on my mind.  After grabbing the meals, I made my way towards the entrance of the cafeteria.  Joon was speaking to me over his friend’s head but I only replied with, “Shut up, I don’t know you.”  I heard a couple “ooohs” from his friends, so I must have hurt his pride a bit.  Good, that’s what he gets for being an idiot.

“You’re coming tonight right?”

I looked up and saw Psy oppa eating his food while looking in my direction.  He pointed at me, showing he was talking to me, and spoke again, “Tonight.  The party for my album, you’re coming right?”

“Ahh, about that…”

Psy rolled his eyes and responded before I could, “If you don’t come then I’m going to hate you forever.”

“Are you five?”

“Are you coming to my party?”

A sigh escaped my lips as I rubbed my temple.  I knew I couldn’t escape this invitation.  I could escape it when the invitation was brought to my mailbox a week ago, but now that the host was asking me personally, I couldn’t refuse.

“Fine.”

Psy smiled proudly and continued eating the food that I served him moments ago.  “Dress nicely, I want you to meet someone.”

My eyebrow raised in confusion as I turned my attention from my laptop to the man in front of me.  “Who?”

Psy smiled mischievously and replied, “Someone.”

I hated his cryptic responses, so I turned back to my work and ignored him.  I swear, if he is trying to set me up with someone I will seriously strangle him in front of his own wife. 

Dressing nicely wasn’t a problem for me; I was actually kind of insulted when Psy oppa said that.  I looked at my reflection and saw myself proudly standing in the mirror.  My hair was curled nicely and my makeup was light and natural.  I opted for a red lace long sleeve dress that fit nicely to my body.  After putting on my black pumps, I made sure all the lights in the apartment were off.  I still need to get that cat.  With the light switch off, I headed towards the club that the party was held at.

“You drink too much!” I grabbed Psy oppa drink out of his hand and instead I took the shot.  Psy gasped and nudged me with his shoulder.

“Get your own!” He called over the hostess and asked for another round of soju, seeing how I stole his last one.  “You drink well, I never knew that.”

I smirked and pulled down the hemline of my dress.  Six shots in and I was only feeling slightly buzzed.  The club that the party was held at was one of the few owned by YG.  I recognized the many faces around the club that helped with Psy oppa’s recent album.  As I sat there uncomfortably, I turned towards Psy to speak, “So where is this person you wanted me to meet?”

Psy clapped his hands together and smiled.  He told me to stay put in my seat before he went off running in another direction.  I sighed and pulled at my hemline again awkwardly.  My phone buzzed and I noticed an incoming text message.

Call me! <3

A smile appeared on my face as I saw my father’s name on my screen.  He must have just learned how to make hearts on his phone.  As I sat there with a smile on my face, someone behind me tapped my shoulder.  I quickly turned my head and saw Psy standing there with another man.  I stood up and brushed down the wrinkles in my dress, I bowed politely and introduced myself.

“________, this is Jay Park-sshi.  He’s interested in working with you for his new album,” Psy said smiling as he grabbed Jay’s hand and lead him closer towards me.  I awkwardly moved to the side as Jay came on my other side.  The man let out an embarrassed laugh and turned towards his hyung.

“Thanks hyung for introducing me,” Jay said politely and turned his attention towards me.  “I was really impressed how you handled all the promotions and even your designs for the album were super well done.”

A blush came on my cheeks by surprise.  It wasn’t the fact that a good looking man was complimenting my work, but he just being good looking in general made me flustered.  Get your together, ________.  Be professional.

After scolding myself, I straightened my posture and looked at Jay.  Psy-oppa had slowly creeped away from us and I noticed him in my peripheral vision, sitting by the bar with his wife looking towards us.  “Thank you so much, that’s very nice of you to say.  Currently, I am still working with Psy-sshi so I have to see how my availability is after this.  I’m not located in Korea that’s why.”

“Ahh,” Jay said in realization.  “You’re American?  I barely even noticed the accent, you speak very fluent Korean.”

I nodded my head, “Kamsahamnida.  I’ve been working on it recently.  But here is my business card.”  I reached into my purse and handed him the small piece of paper.  “Contact me with more details and maybe we can work something out.  Jay, right?”  I pointed at him making sure I got his name right.

He smiled and gave me a little chuckle,  “Yes that’s right.  And I will definitely be calling you sometime.”  A small smirk appeared on his lips as he said those words to me.

Oh, he’s good.

I gave him a little bow and thanked him for his time.  Jay offered to buy me a drink but I refused politely.  I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or Jay, but I was feeling a bit light headed all of a sudden.  You act like you’ve never talked to a boy before, come on _______, get it together!

“Hyung, you drink too much,” Jiyong said as he took the wine bottle away from Seunghyun.  Seunghyun let out a groan of annoyance as he tried to drunkenly reach for the bottle.  “Nice try.”

“I haven’t seen Psy-hyung all night,” Daesung shouted over the loud club music.  “Where is he, we should congratulate him before he gets too belligerent.”

“Speaking of belligerent, where’s makane?” Youngbae asked as the four men glanced around the dimly lit club.  Right on cue, a loud “woohoo” was heard from the upper balcony.  There the makane was, drunkenly dancing with two other unknown females.

“Typical,” Kush said as he sat down with the rest of the group.  “Ahh, Seungri!  Come down, I have to tell you something!”

Seungri stopped dancing and smiled widely at his hyung.  He went down on all fours and lowered his head towards the table, “What did you say?  Should I come down for the secret!?”

The Big Bang members and Kush laughed and the eldest motioned for him to come down and join the rest of them.  Seungri jumped in excitement and left the two confused girls dancing by themselves.  In a matter of seconds Seungri was sitting on the couch with the rest of everyone.

“Tell me the secret now,” Seungri whispered over to Kush.  Jiyong pushed Seungri away from him and flicked his forehead with his finger.  Seungri pouted and rubbed the spot that was just hit.  “Tell me now!”

“So rude,” Kush said as he took a sip of his drink.  “I saw our cutie art director over at the other side of the club earlier.”

Seungri perked up instantly and stood from the table.  He brought his right hand to his forehead and squinted his eyes; he looked like he was searching for a lighthouse in the middle of the sea.

“You’re so obvious!” Youngbae yelled as he tried to bring Seungri back down by pulling on his dress shirt.

“Who’s the cutie?  Who’s cute?” Seunghyun asked confused as he looked back and forth between all the members.  Daesung shrugged and waited for more answers from his hyungs and the makane.

“Ahh, spotted at 2 o’clock near Psy-hyung roger that,” Seungri mumbled as he balanced himself on the couch before collapsing on Jiyong again.  “She looks pretty in red.”

Jiyong glared down at the makane in his lap and shook his head.  Jiyong watched Kush stand up a bit and look towards where Seungri mentioned.  His hyung smiled and nodded towards the same place for the other members.

“Who is she?” Seunghyun asked as he spotted the girl in the red dress.  “Do we know her?”

Jiyong saw the red blur in the corner of his eyes.  He looked up and saw her smiling at her cell phone.  She moved a piece of her hair behind her ears and continued to smile at her phone.  She must have a boyfriend, only girls with boyfriends smile at their phones like that.

“Ugh, that punk Jay.  He’s talking to her now,” Kush said as he sat back down trying to adjust his hat.  “He’s so annoying.”

“Hey, he’s not that bad!  He’s really nice actually,” Youngbae said, defending the fellow artist.

“You’re only saying that cause he’s your number one fan boy,” Jiyong said teasing his best friend.  “Ahh, Seungri stop drooling on my pants!”

“Oh, she’s handing him something!” Daesung shouted as he observed the two from afar.  “Oh, he’s smiling at her!”  Daesung laughed at his commentary and the other men joined in as well.

“So wait,” Seunghyun spoke again.  “How do we know her?”

Kush laughed, “We don’t.  She’s just a new YG employee that we think is cute.”

Jiyong finally got Seungri to sleep on the opposite side of the couch with great effort.  He sighed and made sure his dongsengg was sleeping comfortably before he went back to the table with his friends.  Jiyong noticed just in time what the guys were talking about before he took a seat.  He saw the exchange of business cards with the girl in the red dress and Jay.  Jiyong raised his eyebrow and watched as the girl laughed as Jay smiled playfully.  I never really liked that guy. 

“Ahh there you guys are,” a new voice spoke to the group of guys.  Teddy sat down next to his friends and took a big gulp from his drink.  “I was looking for you Jiyong.”

Jiyong looked at his hyung and moved in closer to hear him better.  Teddy leaned in as well and looked over at the girl in the red dress talking to Jay.

“I found out who she is,” Teddy said.

Jiyong looked confused and followed Teddy’s line of vision towards the girl he was looking at before.  Jiyong, still confused, responded, “What?  What does she have anything to do with me?”

Teddy sighed and spoke, “Remember how I said she was some sort of art director?”

Jiyong nodded.

“Apparently she’s this top international VP of some design company, and she helps the international artists debut into the States by leading their art direction.”

Jiyong looked up at the girl and his mouth slightly opened.

“She helps determine if an artist will debut successfully or not overseas.”

She’s the one who…

“I think she’s the one who said you weren’t ready to debut yet.  I think she’s the President’s professional opinion.”

A.N.

Thank you to the new subbers and silent readers out there!  Remember to leave a comment or sub if you like what you read so far.  I'd love to hear from everyone :D  Have a good day and happy reading!