Siwon wobbled into his house with a blank expression. His hand couldn’t seem to lay off of the part of his cheek where Kyuhyun had landed a kiss on. Wait, no. It was so light it wasn’t even a kiss. It was just a tiny peck. But why? Why was Siwon’s heart banging out from inside his chest, as if demanding a way to get out out his ribcage.

His other hand was then rested on his chest where his heart was. He dragged his heavy feet up to his bedroom on the second floor. He went straight to the bathroom. There, he statued in front of the mirror, watching the slight rose color that was still visible around his cheeks. And his hand had started to caress Kyuhyun’s invisible mark. He couldn’t describe the feeling he had, he could easily swear that he had never experienced anything close to that.

What’s happening with me? The question went through his head over and over and over again.

Choi Siwon was a perfectly healthy boy. And like boys around his age, he too had experiences in the field of infatuation. He enjoyed watching pretty girls, particularly ones with slender body to match his height and wavy long hair because it made them look more feminine. He had kissed, or been kissed, before. Some were far more passionate than the other. But none of those kisses brought such a big effect for Siwon.

Then the realization dawned on him.

Is.... Is that it? He thought. Is that why I was interested in him in the first place? Is that why I always thought he’s beautiful? Is that why my heart flips everytime I see him?

Siwon tried to find reasons to deny the feelings. He thought maybe what he felt was merely a fascination. He had never been kissed by a guy before. Maybe that was just shock, nothing else. But then again, he had been feeling the twirls in his stomach way before the kiss, it had started the moment he met Kyuhyun. So he tried other reasons, but no, nothing seemed to overrule the conclusions that was already in his head quite some time ago.

“I am in love,” he finally accepted the fact and said it outloud, “and I’m in trouble.”

~*~

The night after the kiss on his cheeks, Siwon had nightmare, a very scary nightmare. There were his father, his mother, his sister, his friends, all sneering and looking angry at him. His parents kept saying how disappointed they were in him, his sister said that he was embarassing her and her friends bullied her because of him, and his friends were talking down on him, saying how he was such a disgrace to the race of men.

It made him more confused. He didn’t want to disappoint and embarass the people that he cared about. But the feeling won’t go away. He wanted Kyuhyun, he wanted to feel his kiss again, more and more with each passing day.

So he put up his walls of defenses. He pulled away from Kyuhyun and tried to concentrate on thinking and studying for final exams that came faster that the express train to Busan. For a week or so, it seemed to work for Siwon. He told Kyuhyun that they should study hard for their exams, he even challenged Kyuhyun to get the best grades in his school as Siwon would definitely aim to be the highest too. So Kyuhyun agreed and they took time separately.

Siwon nailed all his exams, of course, and he was relieved about it. But then again, with the exams done, he had lost his sole excuse to stay away from Kyuhyun. So when the boy called and asked him out to have some hotdogs, he couldn’t find the reason to deny such a simple request.

And they went out together. They walked silently side by side, the younger was busy ravishing his hotdog, while the older was busy pretending to act normal. They didn’t talk much all the while, until Kyuhyun tripped and bumped into Siwon, causing his hotdog sauce to spill over Siwon’s soft yellow shirt. Kyuhyun hurrily tried to wipe the red sauce off of Siwon’s shirt.

Kyuhyun’s hands roamed on Siwon’s abs and chest frantically. Although it wasn’t skin to skin, Kyuhyun’s panic touch still managed to make Siwon’s body tense up and he blushed.

“N-nevermind, Kyu. I’ll just wash it on the restroom.” Siwon stuttered and ran away, leaving a confused Kyuhyun behind.

Siwon repeatedly hit his head once he reached the restroom. Thankfully, no one else was there. Then he carelessly pulled his shirt over his head. Again, he found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror mindlessly because of Kyuhyun.

What the hell was that? He thought as he splashed water over his face, cold against warm, flushed, heated skin.

“Are you avoiding me?”

Siwon snapped at the voice. He turned around and found Kyuhun standing by the door, hands in his pockets. His face was casual, but the tone of his voice told Siwon that this boy was serious. But Siwon didn’t know what to answer the boy. So in panic, all he managed to come out was a stupid “What?!?”

“Care to tell me why?” Kyuhyun asked again.

“Why what?”

“Why you are avoiding me.” Kyuhyun said sternly.

That exact moments, Siwon was at a lost for words.

“I.....” he paused, “I- I don’t know.”

Kyuhyun sighed.

“You don’t know?” He asked rhetorically as he took several steps forward towards the bare chest Siwon, “You don’t know why you’re avoiding me? Or you don’t know that you’re avoiding me?”

Kyuhyun sighed again. They were only two long steps apart from each other.

“Don’t be like this, Siwon... At least tell me what I did wrong. You have been ignoring me for more than a week now, And I honestly don’t know what happened, or what to do, or what to___”

“I like you, okay?!” Siwon suddenly blurted out.

Kyuhyun choked.

“Pardon me?”

Siwon took a turn to sigh.

“I said I like you, Kyu... I think- I think I have fallen in love with you...”

~4~