“I’m sorry..”

Niel stops on what he is doing right now. But he has no feeling to look at the voice’s owner. He returns back to packing her things.

“I’m truly sorry..” she whispered again.

“Don’t say any such other thing like that. It’s not your fault after all. “Said Niel in low tune. Heard she said sorry make him feel hurt. Last event happened between her and L.joe suddenly flashback in his memory.

He’s trembling.

“Thank you for come back safety, noona...” Niel raised up his face and looking at Ayuni, smiled sweetly like nothing happened. Ayuni stare back at him softly, find something lost at his calm face.

This old friend is too precious to her. After she got remember everything back then, she realized this person in front her right now is the last person that she want to hurt if she could. It’s not Byunghun.

“I’m really sorry, Niel-ah.” her tears fall again.

“Please don’t cry…” slowly Niel wipes her tears using his thumb. “I don’t like it. It feels like you want to leave me again…same like last time…”

His thumb stopped at her lips. Touch it. Feel it.

*Just.please…*

Taste it.

“Stop crying. You look so ugly.” Said a little boy and held out his handkerchief. The crying girl suddenly stops crying but looking at him in confused.

She takes the handkerchief and slowly wipes her own tears but the tears suddenly raining again. It’s not because she feel sad as before, just she feel so touched. A stranger that she never meet before, not knowing about her but appear from no where to comfort her.

“I said don’t cry!” his voice changed to little high. She can hear the boy hissed in annoying.

“I try...” she sobbed hard. “But it doesn’t want to stop…”

He glared to her and sighed. “Let me help you…” he take back his handkerchief from her hand and help to wipe her tears. His eyes then catch the new wound at her lips. His eyes widen because of shocked and he stares at her lips before slowly touch it with his thumb.

“Is it hurt?”

She ducked her head down, not dare to meet eyes with the boy. “No...”

“Who did this to you?”

“No one. I felt by myself.” she shook her head.

The boy frowned and then his sharp eyes catch other old scars at her small arms. Its look like terrible.

“You got hit, did you?” His voice cracked. His expression becomes more soft then before. He thinks this girl just crying because of sulking. Its normal things for him. It’s usually happened to his sister if got angry by their mom after doing something bad. But seeing the small body in front of him right now had too many scars and wounds, make him think something different.

She shook her head again. Act like nothings.

“Did your parents…”

“No!”

“They’re abusing you, right...” he still with his mind. He said it.

“I said no…” her voice sound too low, but he can manage to hear it. She starts to cry again. “I said no...” she’s crying. Try to wipe her tears using back hand. “I said no…” and she keep said the same thing.

He stare at her, who crying hard. She looks so lonely and hurt.

“I’m sorry..” he said.

She looks at him. She doesn’t understand why him do apologize to her for suddenly.

“It must be hurt. I’m sorry… please do not cry again. I will protect you after this.” He come closely and hugged her with no hesitant.

She stops crying but blinking in more confused. This boy has small body compared to her but his hug feel more warm and comfortable. The feeling that she never felt again since years ago.

“But why? I don’t know you…”

“Because just.. I want to see your smile.”

“Daniel!!!” someone screams calling one name and standing not far from them. The boy releases her and patted her head. Send a beautiful smile.

 “My mom called. I need to go now but I will find you again later. Promised me to give your smile when we meet again” he waved to her and bid a goodbye, running to a lady who ready waits at next road.

She looks at him, hugging his mom happily. For far, she can hear their warm conversations make her feel some jealously.

“You already flirt to new girl, huh? Such a little playboy!” his mom , rubbing his hair.

“Am not!” he pouted.

“Yes, you are...” she sang.

“Mom!”

Both of them give a look at her, smiled and waved their hands. “If have time, please give visit to our home, agasshi. My son sure loves it. I’m glad if you can be his first friend because he’s so picky! Nice to meet you, agasshi!” the lady sweetly said and welcome her. Just then, the two disappeared to their home.

“Thank you..” she whispered. She glanced at the handkerchief and without she knowing, she smiled. The sudden and quick meeting with them make her forgot about the hurt. Hurt that she got from her own parents. Blood related parents. Her parents who always abuse her small body, to release their anger. Her parents who always gambling, who always make debt from loan shark. Her parents who always leave her alone.

“I wish I can get back my own parents…who always love me.”

“Noona!” Niel called, look around searching for Ayuni. “Noona! Where are you?”

“Coming! Coming!” a girl run to him and holding something with her hands. A kitten.

Niel’s eyes widened in shock. “Where are you colleting this kitten, noona?”

“At the back there. She’s cute right?” said Ayuni with a wide smile on her face. The smiles that Niel really like it. The smiles that he always miss.

Silent, he smiled back but acts like angry when Ayuni looks at him. He hissed. Fake it.” You..such a kid!” he blurted.

“Yah!” Ayuni slapped his arm, before let out a laugh because she knows Niel just joking. “Are you jealous, do you?”

“Me? Hell no!” Niel shouts. “It’s just a kitten for your information, why should I?”

Ayuni laugh again. Ignore Niel and walk away. Niel stood at his place and stared at her back. The crying girl that he met four years ago when he first time moved at this neighborhood was exactly changed to be different person. Became more beautiful. More tough. Full with smiles. Sweet charming.

She grew up to be a warm person. Even in her broken family. He knew that she hide everything of her saddness and painful behind her smiles.

“Keep smiling, noona.” He whispered with his smiles. * And I will make you live in happily..*

“Niel-ah! You’re late!” she shouts from far.

“You’re so loud!” Niel complaint and run to catch up with her. Under the sunset, both walk together to going back home. For Ayuni, even though her walking home like going to hell but because of Niel always stayed by her side, she feels like heaven. The boy who came approached her four years ago, after she got hit from her father was changed her life. Only after three days, she knew that Niel is two years younger than her.

“You become taller than before. Last I’m checking, you just below my shoulder” stated Ayuni.

“Because I’m grew healthy!” Niel laugh. “But don’t worry, noona. It’s more easy to protect you with my height!” said Niel proudly.

Ayuni make a face. Annoyed. “I hate when you’re saying like that! Don’t tease my height, okay!”

“But.. I like you too…” Niel peck a kiss on her check before run away.

“Yah! Daniel! You’re so bad!” shouts Ayuni with blushing face.

“Hey, noona! You’re late again. My legs so hurt waiting for you. Where are you going?” Niel blew a raspberry.

Seeing glooming face of her never makes him feel sick even for once but today is different. Ayuni become more gorgeous.

“Sorry… just something happened.” Said her while try to hide her smile.

Niel’s eyebrows suddenly rose as he can smell something fishy. He feels curious. “Dare to share?”

Ayuni shook her head but her smiles turn to giggle. She tugged into Niel’s arm and pushes him to walk.

“Yah!” Niel start to protest.

“I met someone..back there.” After long silent and Niel keep argue, Ayuni confessed.

Niel become uncomfortable with her confessing.

“He’s too cute make me to adore him...”Ayuni said again with blushing face.

“He?” Niel stopped and his face changed to unreadable expression.

Ayuni smiled and nodded happily especially when she remembers the boy that she just met before. The boy who got bullied by other students until hurt him. Maybe for other people, chubby boy like him has no interesting to hit on but she feels different.

“He remind me about myself so I want to protect him! ”

Niel’s smiles gone. He never seeing Ayuni becomes more alive like this. Her smiles more brighter. Her eyes more shining with happiness.

*Did you fall in love, noona? Who’s the guy? Who is the guy dare to stole you from me.*

“W-what are you doing?” asked Ayuni when Niel release her lips from his.  

“Am not sorry…”

“Ahn Daniel!”

“Because I always love you. Not as noona but as a girl.” Confessed Niel, sound whispering.

*I know I can’t but it’s too hurt.*

“I’m just sorry because can’t control my feeling anymore. For many years, when your eyes only looking at Byunghun, I told myself it was okay to me as long as I can see your happy face. When you introduce him to me, I told myself that it would not hurt me if I can be his friend too as long as you keep smiling. When you spent more time with him than me, I told myself it was nothing as long as you can laugh sweetly. I lied to myself but I’m the one who hurt you. I was left you when you need someone beside. I’m too blind. I thought I was done everything to protect you but reality is not.”

“No..it’s not true. You have done everything for me. You’re the one who save my life before. You also important to me. I knew your feeling since years ago...”

L.joe stopped from pull the doorknob. His smiles suddenly varnished from his face. His excitement to meet with the girl he loved was gone.

“No..it’s not true. You have done everything for me. You’re the one who save my life before. You also important to me. I knew your feeling since years ago..”

L.joe frowned. *What’s happened to noona before?*

The conversation between Ayuni and Niel make him become blank. Confused. He tries to remember if there is anything that he doesn’t know about both of them. He knew that Niel is her old friend but when recall back, Ayuni never once tells him about her life’s story. Ayuni never tell him who is Niel towards her except the day when she introduces him as precious friend.

Niel also never tries to open story about Ayuni and he also never tried to ask.

He…that old day only cares about spending time with Ayuni. Take care by her. He that time…so selfish when recall again.

*I don’t know anything about noona… how could I dare I said I love her.*

Slowly, L.joe stepped back. Leaving the hospital room where Ayuni stayed.

“I knew you love me. But I can’t let you love me more than best friend. Our relationship more precious and I want to protect it. Since earlier, I’m a girl who forbidden to be love. When I knew I fell in love with Byunghun, it was too late. That time, I almost destroy his life…”

Niel suddenly chuckled, shook his head. “You rather destroy your life because of him, right? You fallen too deep, noona. I hope the person is me but until now, it’s impossible, right?”

“I’m sorry, Niel-ah... You deserved to get better.”

“Just for you. Don’t worry about me, please keep in happy life so I will not regret to release my precious first love. Don’t try to end your life again. You got it?” Niel sound threaten to her hearing.

Ayuni smiled and give small nodded.”Thank you..for everything.”