I was lying on my bed – when a knock on the door knocked me out of my musings. Not leaving my bed, I lazily called out, “What?”

There was a hint of silence that didn’t settle down with me. I slowly raised myself up on the bed and stared at the door. I called again, “What? Who is it?”

Silence…

This is seriously unsettling. I decided to walk up and open the door. When the door creaked open, there was no one there. My eyes widened. Is this some kind of practical joke? What’s going on? I popped my head out, looking at one end of the hall from the door before turning my head to the other end and then…

“HYUNG~!” Chanyeol’s face came rushing in straight at mine and he pushed me, my head hitting my door frame with a loud thud.

“Cha – Oof!” I said, groaning in pain as I began seeing stars… or… wait… that’s confetti. Wait. What? “HUH-!?”

There were loud pops and laughing as I got a good look at a small crowd of other male students behind Chanyeol. Chanyeol pulled his head back from his little surprise hug and grinned wide at me.

“Chanyeol, what--”

He took a deep breath before exploding with his cheery grin, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!”

My eyes widened as I froze, my arms keeping him in place as he laughed with the rest of the guys. Some were talking about how great my face looked at the surprise they did; others were clapping their hands in congratulations… but right now… I was just looking at Chanyeol’s face and couldn’t suppress a smile.

Ah, right. November 6. My birthday.

I opened my eyes slowly and sighed. Some dream I had. I rolled to my side and felt like vomiting. Why did I have to dream of my birthday last year? I got up, shaking my head as I looked at the calendar then at my clock. It was 1:00 in the morning of my birthday this year – November 6 – and Chanyeol and I hadn’t made up from our fight a few days ago.

Standing up because I didn’t feel like going back to bed, fearing that I would dream of that dream again and feel sick about it, I took a scarf from the closet and got out of my room silently. I turned my head to the side to see the closed door of my lover.

After our fight, I had tried to get back inside – but every time I tried to, he was either out or he wouldn’t open his door for me. As I looked at it, I contemplated about knocking and hoping for the best – but then again, it’s 1 AM. Surely the giraffe would be asleep.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I sluggishly walked out of the dorms and out into the cold chilly November night. How sad is this? I get to spend my birthday with my first legit lover but a stupid fight decided to in between the idea.

I walked along, not really noticing where my legs were taking me. I just wanted to walk. When I blinked my eyes seeing a corner nearby, I realized that I was heading to the back part of the school – where I would usually take pictures of the environment… and where Chanyeol and I often spent our time together.

Thinking about that now… I must seriously want to make myself cry. I mentally chuckled at the idea and stopped in my tracks, quickly hiding back to the corner as I gazed at the bench. There was someone there – and not just anyone – it was Chanyeol.

He was only wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. Is he an idiot? He’s only wearing that in this cold weather? He doesn’t even have a scarf on, what if he gets sick?

I scratched the back of my head in frustration. I can’t believe it. Here I am, worrying about it. That’s all I’ve ever done anyway – worry over him. Does he not like that? Does he feel bothered by it? What does he want then? I’m older than him… I have the right to worry over him…

I took a peek again and watched as he sighed, rubbing his hands together. What is he thinking right now? Has he been thinking about our fight? I pursed my lips, wanting nothing more than to give this giraffe the scarf that I’m wearing right now. I’d wrap it around his neck and embrace him in a tight hug, apologizing and begging him to tell me what he wants.

For him, I would be willing to beg.

I took a step forward but stopped, watching him look away to one side. He looked tired. His breathing was slow.

I took a step back, running a pathetic hand over my face – before retreating back to the dorms.

“Yifan, you’ve been awfully quiet lately.” I heard my mother’s voice as I nearly cut my finger while (badly) unpeeling one orange for her. I had decided to stop by the hospital again, even though today’s my birthday. I think spending it with my parents would be better than spending it by myself. My dad went outside to buy cake so I was left with my mom.

I shook my head. “Uh, sorry. I had a pretty bad dream earlier this morning.” I said, forcing a smile – but nothing could escape a mother fretting over her son.

She frowned at me, “Is something bothering you?”

I smiled. “No, nothing is bothering me.”

She stayed silent for a few seconds before she looked past me at the door. “I thought you would come over with Chanyeol-ah. Does he have class?”

“No.” I looked down at the orange. “I just… He just couldn’t come. That’s all.”

She nodded her head and reached out to touch my hand. “So it’s about Chanyeol-ah, huh?”

I blinked. “Wha-?” Damn , how do mothers do that?

She giggled, pulling her hand back as I placed the orange on the table and rubbed my hands together. “You and Chanyeol-ah… you’ve gotten closer these past few years.”

I tried to fight back a blush. Oh, if only you knew mom. “Yeah…”

“What happened? Did you two fight?”

“… You could say.”

She giggled again. “You two would always fight over little things as kids. What makes this any different?”

I laughed with her, thinking that a lot of things were totally different compared to those petty fights we had over rocks, action hero figures and the remote control as kids. This was on a totally different emotional level. Especially since we’re now lovers… but I couldn’t say that.

Sensing that I couldn’t seem to answer her question, she simply nodded her head slowly. “Well, times have changed. You two are definitely more mature now.”

“Are we talking about the same Chanyeol here?” I asked, with a hint of joy in my voice.

She laughed. “Don’t be rude. He’s definitely changed. I can tell. When you were out with your dad buying our tea, he talked about the University Festival week like a totally different person. Sure, he had that smile of his on but he was talking to me like he was being interviewed.”

I chuckled. What the hell, Chanyeol? He must’ve been nervous at the time.

When the laughter died down, my mother asked again, “So you two fought?” When I nodded as an answer, she continued. “Didn’t you talk it over? Didn’t you apologize to each other?”

“…” I looked away, rubbing my hands again. For some reason, I find it hard to do just that. I mean, it’s already hard to get inside his room but because we have different schedules and with the finals approaching…

“You know,” My mother suddenly started. “I remember when you and Chanyeol-ah fought over this action figure back in grade school. You had hit him on the head with a toy truck and Chanyeol-ah wouldn’t stop crying. In the end, you handed him the action figure just so he would quiet down.”

“Yeah well…” I mumbled, not really wanting to remember that memory. “I’m older… so…”

“So you feel the need to be responsible around him?”

My eyes widened as I looked back at my mother. There it is again! Mothers! I stammered, “I – uh – it’s just…”

My mother tilted her head and gave a knowing smile. For that, I felt my cheeks unconsciously turn hot. She can’t see through me, can she? I ran my hand on my face and bent down.

“I… may have hurt his feelings.” I add