“You BIG DUMB HORSE!” Heechul’s shrieking.

“That wasn’t what I told you to do!” Hyukjae’s angry protest.

“We are just friends, we all start on equal footing.” Sungmin’s sneering.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH………why don’t all of you shut up already!!!!

“Siwon………why…..” Kyuhyun’s pleads echoed sadly.

Kyuhyun? Kyu? Kyu!

“Siwon-sshi! Siwon-sshi!”

“Siwon-sshi! Wake up! Siwon-sshi!” 

“KYU!” Siwon heard himself screamed even before his eyes snapped open. Everything is swimming, his throat felt constricted to the point of pain, a wave of nausea swept over him and he moaned, dropping his head into his hands against his will. 

‘Siwon-sshi.” 

Siwon raised his head in a hurry and the room spun so much that he fell back into bed weakly. Kyuhyun is sitting by his side looking ill with worry. It is only then that he realized that he is lying on a high white bed and Kyuhyun is holding one of his hands. 

"Where am I?” He swallowed with difficulty before asking. His voice is hoarse and his throat dry. Unconsciously he wriggled his hand free from Kyuhyun’s warm grasp, afraid to touch the younger man. There is a pang of regret when he saw a trace of disappointment graced the other’s pale face. 

“Hospital. You passed out at the swimming pool. The doctor said it’s heatstroke and exhaustion.” 

“How long was I out?” 

“A couple of hours.” Kyuhyun replied ruefully. “I don’t really know exactly, time became a blur after we found you out cold.” 

Siwon did not reply. His mood is still very much affected by the dream he been through in his unconscious state. He is frankly beyond relieved that nothing he dreamt was real. If he had indeed his most precious person, he knows that he will most likely end his life out of guilt. But it is still very disturbing that those thoughts are active in his subconsciousness. That meant there is an ever present danger of him acting them out one day. How long can he keep them in reign, how much longer is Kyuhyun safe from him? 

“Siwon-sshi?” He realized that Kyuhyun is calling him. 

‘Y-yes?” 

“Were you in pain while you were unconscious?” Kyuhyun’s face is still very pale and pinched with anxiety. 

“Why do you ask that?” 

“Because you were crying non-stop. The doctor had to sedate you even though you were asleep.” 

“I ~” Siwon wanted to lie. But as his eyes met Kyuhyun’s and he found himself melting into the soft brownness that was his, he couldn’t utter another untrue word. 

“Baby, I~” 

“We can talk later. You look exhausted, you should get some rest.” Kyuhyun interrupts. 

‘No, no, I don’t want to rest.’ Siwon’s forceful reply stunned the younger man. “I have procrastinated so much since we met. Because I hesitated time and again, we lost so much between us. I don’t want to waste another bit!” 

"Siwon ~” 

“I am going to tell you something that will probably make you very uneasy. I want you to know that I understand and will stand by any of your decisions.” 

Kyuhyun is taken aback but he kept quiet, only nodding in response. 

Siwon proceeded to relay his dream in detail and Kyuhyun’s face became paler with every word. And when he is finally finished, Kyuhyun is as still as stiff as pale as a marble statue. 

“I didn’t know I was causing you so much grief.” Kyuhyun mutters with a sad sigh. He looked at his hands without saying another word. Outwardly Siwon maintained a look of calm but inside him, his heart is racing and his guts are heaving. He awaits Kyuhyun’s decision but at the same time he is afraid of what he will hear. 

Kyuhyun his wrist out and Siwon saw the raised outline of an old scar. It is narrow and it covers the width of the inner wrist. At first glance he knows what it was and his eyes widened in grief and shock.

“You ~” Their eyes met and he saw only serenity in the other’s eyes. 

“I attempted to end it all after Mi left. He gave me so much pain, that’s why I will never want him back into my life again.” Kyuhyun said with a mirthless smirk while Siwon’s heart clenched with sorrow. “I told myself I can never trust another human being, not just him.” 

“Baby ~” 

“But you have been there for me right from the beginning. I came to trust you so much sometimes I wonder if I will ever doubt you even if you lie to me one day.” Kyuhyun mused quietly. “ I believe that you will never lie to me, never hurt me.” 

Siwon winced inwardly. He felt strongly his own betrayal towards Kyuhyun. Even if it was just a dream, just a fantasy, but it was still thoughts borne out of his own mind. 

“I’m sorry….” Siwon started to apologise. 

“No, the fault is mine.” Kyuhyun argues with resolution. “Don’t blame yourself. You returned to me a sense of purpose, a sense of security. You have done nothing wrong. 

“But I……I toyed with your feelings.” Kyuhyun’s voice faltered shakily. “It’s unfair to you but I just can't ~” 

Before Kyuhyun can go further, Siwon sat up hurriedly and pull the smaller man into his arms, crushing him in a bear hug and pushing his head down so his face is buried in his shoulder. That effectively prevented him from continuing with his speech. 

“Baby, I am a wuss….I’ve decided that I don’t want to hear what you have decided.” Siwon whispers into Kyuhyun’s ear. “If you tell me we are through, I know I will die. Even if others may laugh at how dumb I am to choose obliviousness, I rather choose to stay by your side, even if it is only for a day.” 

The next few moments is complete silence. Then he felt the slight trembling begin. The man he is holding began to cry, his tears seeped into the thin material covering his shoulder. They remained in the same position; Siwon listening to the muffled sobs by his ear that died down after a while. Kyuhyun pushes apart slightly and Siwon let go reluctantly. 

“Don’t leave me.” Was all Kyuhyun need to say.  Siwon’s heart soared as he press the smaller man into his chest again. 

“Thank you, baby, for believing in me.” He whispered sincerely. 

@ 

“And the moral of the story is?” Heechul demands to know. 

“Huh?” Siwon is confused. 

“The point to your lovely narration being ~?” 

“I am a psychopath in the making?” Siwon takes a stab at his own humor and Heechul rolled his eyes impatiently. 

“The point being that you are ually frustrated even if you deny till you are red in the face.” Heechul points out. 

“I’m not going to force myself on him, Chullie.” Siwon warned. 

“And I am not even suggesting that.” Heechul glared. “But it’s time to get things going. I hate to see you two still like this 10 years down the road.” 

“You think we will drag this on for the next 10 years?” 

“Knowing you, yes.” Heechul glared again. “What I am trying to say is this. Beauty had a really bad time back then and you should not be sitting here hoping that he will suddenly forget all that and jump into bed with you. Things don’t work like that. But that doesn’t mean you should just keep it friends and go with the flow.” 

“Huh?” 

“Oh jeez!!!!” Heechul shrieked completely out of patience. “SEDUCE HIM YOU IDIOT!”