Ever since that day, Seunghyun and I haven't spoken much. If he wasn't awake for breakfast, I'd keep some food for him, leave him a note and go back to my room. Because his wedding day was approaching so quickly, he didn't have time for the guys or me. I preferred it that way...but I couldn't help but feel dismal as I thought of the day we all promised to always stay together. None of us had the intention of breaking that promise. Not the guys, not me, and definitely not the awfully sentimental Seunghyun. But we all know some things couldn't be helped. We hoped for Seunghyun and Hwayoung's wedding to be perfect. So when Seunghyun left early and returned awfully late day after day, we didn't blame, or even question.

But one of those days, as I sat in the backyard, Daesung came up to me, his face filled with an expression I've never seen him carry. Sorrow.

"Noona, I just realized...that death and physical separation are not the only things that can break people apart..." he said, "So can love."

I remembered what Daesung said that very day as we sat together, watching the sun set.

"AISH. Why are you guys saying these stuff?! It's not like we're dying or separating or anything! We're living in the same house!!!"

He was so sure then, that we would never change. My heart started hurting. Not for myself, but for us. I kept telling myself that this was only temporary. But that one sentence in the back of my mind kept tugging and tugging until tears made their way out of that limitless bottle inside of me. 'Meetings and partings repeat and repeat....'

So I pulled Daesung into a hug and his back the way Taeyang mine when he last told me everything was going to be okay. Except that I wasn't going to tell that to Daesung. Because we both knew very well...that that would be lying to ourselves.

Eventually, it came to the day before the wedding. Seunghyun didn't come home, and so we decided to keep our mind solely on what to wear for the big day.

"Are you sure this is okay? I really think this one's much better!" Jiyong asked for the hundredth time.

"There isn't much of a difference, Ji! You're wearing your blazer over it!" I exclaimed, amused and irritated at the same time. And when Jiyong finally decided to
listen to me, another commotion started next door.

"She'll look better in this!"

"NO this one is ier, Dae!"

I raced to my room, only to find my clothes all laid out on my bed in a pile.

"YA!" I yelled, "I can decide on my own!"

"No, you can't, Noona!" Daesung and Seungri in chorused. I let out a loud sigh, rubbing my temples in defeat.

"Stop stressing Haerin out, you rascals! I'm sure she can pick her own dress." Taeyang reprimanded, coming to my rescue.

"Thanks, oppa." I let out a cry of gratitude.

The kids pouted, retreating from my room as Taeyang signaled them to. But before Taeyang left, he added,

"But Haerin, Seungri's kinda right. y is good."

He smirked, shutting the door before I could yell at him. I rolled my eyes, substituting my urge to scream with an exasperated sigh. One by one, I hung my clothes back into the closet. When I was finally done, I let myself sink into the comfort of my bed. And unknowingly, my eyes drifted to the little brown paper bag under my desk.

A few days back, Seunghyun came knocking on my bedroom door in the middle of the night.

"Haerin..." he whispered in his low pitched voice, sending a wave of warmth down to my stomach. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to open the door. I was afraid I'd lose myself and give in to those feeble eyes again. As if Seunghyun knew exactly what I was thinking, he spoke once more, ever so gently.

"I'll leave this outside. Don't forget to take it in."

I didn't answer. And after a pause, he so affectionately muttered...

"Goodnight, Haerin."

I shut my eyes as tightly as I could, trying hard not to let his voice break me. When I was sure he was gone, I opened the door slightly, peeking out. On the ground was that brown paper bag, and his wedding invitation.

The invitation was sweet and simple. Cream colored texture paper with fine gold prints...

'Lee Haerin,
You are cordially invited to join
in the joyous celebration of
the beginning of a new life together
with the soulful exchange of their marriage vows
Mr. Choi Seunghyun and Miss Shin Hwayoung'

I smiled softly as I noticed the familiar handwriting of my name. I carefully reached into the bag, not wanting to crumple it. All I felt was parcel paper around a soft and light object. I pulled it out, analyzing it from every angle before finally tearing open the parcel paper. There, sitting gracefully in the middle of the torn mess I just created was a tube black dress. I nervously put it on, afraid it might not fit. But my heart started racing as I noticed how beautiful it was. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, it wasn't even close to reaching my knees. It boldly showed off the back of my shoulders and my legs. Yet from the way it hung softly and freely down my torso, hugging on my thighs, it wasn't provocative...it was lovely. Simple, yet elegant.

I took another look in the bag, realizing there was a rectangular box in it too. I opened the lid of the box, revealing a classy pair of smokey silver heels with a trail of diamonds down the front. Not only were they the most beautiful pair of shoes I have ever laid eyes on, I didn't think I would ever wear something so...elite.

Seunghyun had amazed me once again, with his thoughtfulness. And not to mention his taste in clothes and shoes.

Throughout the night, I debated if I should accept his gifts and attend the church wedding with what he so earnestly prepared for me, or if I should cold-heartedly draw the line between us. In the end, I decided to comply with his wishes. It was his wedding day, after all. I didn't want to see one second of sadness or hurt on that handsome face. Not tomorrow, not ever.


-


"Seunghyun!! My shoe tore!" I exclaimed, pointing out the huge hole in the front of my right shoe.

"Omo! How did it happen?" he asked.

"I don't know, it just happened. Now I have to walk home like this." I huffed.

"Well...d-do you...maybe... want my shoe?" Seunghyun stammered, not knowing how to help.

"No, I don't want your shoe, pabo!" I laughed at his ridiculous question, "I'll just walk with one shoe."

Seunghyun looked up at me, shocked.

"But it's dangerous! What if you cut your feet?"

He bent down, untying one side of his shoelace.

"What are you doing?! I said I don't want your shoe!"

"Well then I don't want it either." he muttered.

I sighed in disbelief as he held his left shoe in his hand and started walking.

"You're really crazy, Seunghyun..." I mumbled. He just ignored me, keeping his eyes on the ground in case there was anything sharp in our way. I rolled my eyes at what a worrisome old man he was behaving like.

"Race you to our hideout, Seunghyun!!" I yelled, running off at full speed.

"YA! That's unfair!" I heard him call out behind me.

I laughed, racing against the wind. He eventually caught up. But I still ended up winning.

Somehow, I always won.


-


"Are you done, Haerin? You've been in there for 45 minutes now!" Taeyang's voice sounded from outside my bedroom door.

"I'll be out in awhile..." I whined. I could hear the grumbling of the guys as I stood infront of the mirror, looking at my reflection. I had spent the day dolling up, in hope that I wouldn't look like a pathetic fool on Seunghyun's big day. I wanted to look perfectly okay. Then perhaps Seunghyun wouldn't have to worry about letting me go. Looking at the mirror, I wasn't sure if the girl in the reflection was me. But I hoped with all my heart it was, and that I wasn't dreaming.

"Haerin, we have to leave RIGHT NOW." Jiyong yelled, getting impatient.

Taking a deep breath, I swung the door open, ready to put up my brightest smile for Seunghyun, even though he wasn't there to witness it yet. I had expected to be dragged out of the house as soon as my door opened, but instead, I got total silence. The four guys had their eyes at me, looking stunned.

"What is it? Is there something wrong?" I asked, checking if there was anything wrong the way I looked. When I glanced up again, Taeyang cleared his throat, looking away. Jiyong blinked hard and shook his head, waking himself from his daze while Daesung and Seungri still had a blank look on their faces, their mouths slightly agape.

"You're so gorgeous, Haerin noona." Seungri muttered. I was embarrassed by that comment, but hid my smile.

"Ok, we gotta go. We're gonna be late." Taeyang hastily said, shoving us down the stairs and out the door.

A black car waited outside our door, rented to take us to the church directly. Jiyong got in on the driver's seat while Taeyang held the door open for the kids to get in first. When it came to me, Taeyang's eyes curved into perfect crescents.

"If you looked this good everyday, we wouldn't mind eating anything you cook for us." he said.

"YA!" I yelled, pouting as I gave him a glare. I quickly got into the car, and immediately my nerves started building. I was anxious, yet infected by the guys' positive attitudes. I wasn't sure what I was feeling. But as the guys started their usual ruckus, I calmed down. Us sitting in a car together like this reminded me of our little family day. And even though Seunghyun wasn't with us, I felt contented knowing that at least we had that piece of memory.

"Nan neorul saranghae! Ee saesangeun neo ppuniya!" they sang in chorus though it didn't exactly sound like singing. More like yelling. Even so, I couldn't help but sway along with that tuneful melody. Whether there will ever be another chance of family day, none of us were certain. And none of us wanted a definite answer either. It was as if we could read one anothers' minds, and all we wanted was to cherish the moments we had left together...even if we no longer felt complete.

Eventually, we arrived at the church. And just one look at it, I knew it was going to be the most beautiful wedding ever.
Our initial plan was to arrive before the guests came so we could help out. We did arrive early...but judging from the way the guys so enthusiastically barged into Seunghyun's dressing room upon arrival, I knew we weren't going to help much. Being the only girl of the group, I instinctively headed towards Hwayoung's dressing room instead.

I knocked lightly. And instantly, Hwayoung's sweet voice called out.

"Who is it?"

"It's Haerin, unnie." I replied. And within a second, the door swung open, revealing Hwayoung in her long, puffy wedding dress.

"Haerin!" she squealed, pulling me into a hug. I laughed at how hyper she was.

"Sit down, unnie. What if you tear your dress?!"

"Don't worry, Hearin. Just a few hours in this dress and I've learnt how to maneuver around it." she proudly declared, messing up her dress as she swung her hand around freely. I giggled, brushing my hand across the satin, smoothing it for her. She beamed as she watched.

"You look really pretty today, Hearin." she whispered.

"Not as pretty as you, unnie. Are you excited? It's your big day." I spoke, sitting myself down on an armchair. Her smile faded as she waddled over and plopped herself on the armchair across from me.

"What's wrong? Where are your parents?"

"They're downstairs, directing the food caterers." she lifelessly replied.

It was the first time I was helping out at a wedding. And thus my first time seeing the bride before she walked down the aisle. But I knew well enough that this wasn't what it was supposed to look like. Anxiety was normal. But that glum look on Hwayoung's face was more than just that.

"Why that look, unnie?" I asked again.

"I'm afraid, Hearin." she sighed, "What if after we get married, Top realizes that he can't live with someone like me? What is he gets tired of me and regrets this marriage?"

"It's not going to happen, unnie." I sighed, rolling my eyes at her ridiculous worries.

"How do you know?" she frowned.

"Because I know Seunghyun. And so I know that he loves you. And Seunghyun's love is the purest and most precious love you can ever get from a man."


Soon, it was time for the guests to arrive. I headed downstairs, at the entrance of the church to help with the handing out of the souvenirs. As I held them out one by one to each guest that entered, I could see that they were all excited. The smiles on their faces carried such sincere blessings. I, too, wanted to be able to give Seunghyun such blessings.

Eventually, it was time to close the church doors. I stealthily headed for the front row where the rest of the guys were sat.

"Eyy, Haerin!' Jiyong greeted with a wide smile, attracting the attention of everyone around us, including Seunghyun, who stood awkwardly before the podium.
The nervous expression he had just a moment ago as he awaited the arrival of his bride changed immediately upon seeing me. His eyes traveled from my head to my toes, and back up, eventually landing on my eyes. And in that split second our eyes met, my heart stung. Not wanting our relationship to be awkward, I gave him a soft smile, in which he returned.

All of a sudden, the piano started playing and the chattering of the guests died down. Some gasps could be heard from the back rows as they noticed the shadows of the bride from the gap between the sturdy church doors and the stone floor. Aside from the gentle keys of the piano, there was not a sound made until the creaking of the doors sounded and every single person turned their heads to the bride that so elegantly strolled in. Jiyong turned to me with a huge grin, sharing the excitement.

Hwayoung's beauty was breathtaking. Though my reassuring words just before had given her some confidence, I could tell she was still incredibly nervous from the way she held onto her father's arm like a baby koala bear, afraid to let go.

As the sweet, gentle melody of Pachelbel's Canon played, Hwayong took slow, graceful steps towards Seunghyun. There was a sort of anticipation that every single person in the church hall shared. I looked over the the row on the other side, where Seunghyun's parents and Hwayoung's mother sat, eyes darting between the couple with proud eyes.

Seunghyun was ridiculously handsome. Though I used to find him handsome even when he woke up with eye boogers and his bed hair, I had to say the way he so lovingly watched his bride approach made the fluttering inside of me unbearable. I wasn't sure if it was in a good way, or if it was another form of pain I had never experienced. But I mechanically clapped along as Hwayoung's father handed his precious daughter to Seunghyun. And when they exchanged their marriage vows with such sincerity in their voices. Not to forget when they kissed infront of all their relatives and friends, bringing tears to some of their eyes. I'm not ashamed to admit that it brought tears to my eyes as well...though I'm not sure it was for the same reasons.

With the ceremony officially coming to an end, there was an uproar of murmuring. Most guests were leaving, while some remained to personally give their blessings to the newly wedded couple. The whole time, I had my eyes on Seunghyun. And as his eyes wandered from face to face, it somehow landed on me once more. And as if being reminded of a sad memory, his gaze faltered. He knew he had hurt me. He knew me best. It wasn't difficult for him to see through my smiles. But still, I kept it plastered to my face. Who was I to spoil the day of the happiest man on earth?

As the guys stood up and approached the man, I tagged along behind.

"You're a married man now, Top!" Jiyong exclaimed in envy and in joy. And as the rest of the guys continued to , he constantly glanced my way. It was only a few minutes more before he decided he was done with their endless pestering and brought himself out of the crowd. Dreadful to say, he was heading my way.

I kept rooted to the ground where I stood, not knowing what to do as he stood before me as if none of the others existed.

"Annyeong." he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. I smiled, feigning ignorance to how unnatural he was behaving.

"Congratulations." I simply said. There was a moment of silence between us before he laughed compromisingly.

"Thanks." he paused, "You look beautiful, Haerin."

I felt a gush of heat flush to my cheeks as he said that.

"Thanks." I uttered.

Though I had heard similar compliments throughout the day, none had that same effect as Seunghyun's. Perhaps it was the truthfulness in his voice, or simply the use of words. Either way, it made my heart flutter. Instead of forcing myself to hate how it felt, I decided to let myself enjoy that warmth for the last time before it all ended.

I took a peek behind him, where the guests surrounded Hwayoung, chatting and laughing. Why couldn't Seunghyun and I be like that? I looked back at Seunghyun to find him staring at me with an expression I couldn't read. He took a breath, as if about to say something, only to hold back time and time again.

"Haerin...I hope you find happiness." he finally said, almost in a pleading voice. The sincerity stung, leaving me breathless. Even so, I didn't let the courage I mustered dissolve into nothing.

"Neh...I wish you happiness too, Top oppa." I managed to whisper, giving him my best smile for the very last time.


-


"Seunghyun, what is happiness?" I questioned with a little smile as I watched Seunghyun think. We were at our hideout, sitting side by side with our backs against the tree.

"Happiness...Happiness is..." Seunghyun struggled, unable to give a definite answer.

"Seunghyun, let's list it down. All the things you think defines happiness." I reached for a paper from my bag, handing it to Seunghyun. He clumsily took it from me. His fingers left crease marks all over it as he fidgeted into a comfortable position to write. And as we both wrecked out brains for ideas, I constantly peeked at Seunghyun. That focused look he had on his face...it was something I'd like to keep forever.

At the end of our little brainstorming session, this was what he had...Happiness is...

1. Eating chocolate icecream on a hot day.
2. Skipping class.
3. Reading a good book.
4. Seeing the people around me happy.
5. Taking care of people around me.
6. Randomly finding things I thought I had lost.
7. Discovering new things/places everyday.
8. Staying up all night with Rin.
9. Eating.
10. Taking strolls.
11. The sound of the wind.
12. Sleeping all day.
I held the piece of paper closer, squinting in on the last line written slightly smaller and with it's letters narrow and squiggly...
13. Rin.


And this was all I had...Happiness is...

1. Everyday with Seunghyun.