'Rin, where are you? You woke up even before my morning call. Why didn't you tell me you had something on?'


I stared at the text I just got from Seunghyun. I initially decided to ignore it...but then I found no reason to avoid him. We were, after all, living in the same house.
I didn't want things to turn out awkward between us. So I replied after some inner struggle.


'I had some things to settle. Forgot to inform you guys. Sorry!'


I put away my cellphone and continued gazing out the windows of the bus I was on.

Honestly, I had no idea where I was going. I didn't have a destination...I had no plans. All I knew was that I shouldn't be receiving Seunghyun's morning calls anymore. And the only way was to wake up before he does. So here I was, on the bus to town at 8am in the morning.

After several minutes, my cellphone buzzed again.


'Ok...stay safe, Rin!'


I exited that page. And all of a sudden, it hit me. I saw the date. It was almost a week more to Seunghyun's wedding. My heart sank, despite the amount of energy put into trying not to care. All along, the phrase 'a month' hung by our lips. It was the simplest estimation for the big day. A month. But then in a blink of an eye, three weeks passed. And still, we used that phrase. This sudden realization startled me. Because I didn't want an estimation. I wanted exact calculation. 8 days more to their wedding. Eight more days to my lingering hopes being completely dashed. A part of me dreaded that. Yet a part of me felt rather relieved.
Out of nowhere, I heard someone call out my name.

"Lee Haerin?" that owner of that soulful voice repeated itself.

"Kim Jonghyun?" I uncertainly mumbled. His face lit up with a smile as he made his way over and seated himself beside me.

"I thought you left for the states!"

"I did. But I'm back again." I politely stated, still pretty amazed by the fact that he actually remembered me.

"Ahhh...I see." he laughed, "Didn't think I'd ever see you again."

I nodded, laughing along.

"So are you still with that guy...what was his name? Seunghyun?" he asked, tilting his head as he tried to remember.

"Choi Seunghyun." I said, " We were never together."

A shocked expression flashed pass his face.

"Really?! Everyone assumed you guys were a couple. You were a junior but you were the only one he ever laughs with."

Yes, I was. There was no one else but me then. But I guess he grew up.

"He's getting married soon, actually." I informed him, causing him even more shock than before.

"Really?!" he exclaimed, "I never thought a guy like him would get married so young!"

I laughed, actually agreeing with that statement.

After a bit more catching up, Jonghyun alighted, leaving me back to my pondering. I needed some time away from Seunghyun, from Hwayoung, and even from the guys. I needed time away from anything that reminded me of Seunghyun, which was difficult, considering everything I did led me back to an incident we shared. It was difficult when I was away...it was definitely going to be difficult now that everything is happening right infront of me.

After a few more stops, I decided to alight. And as soon as I got off the bus, I got a call. From Hwayoung.

"Yeoboseyo?"

"Haerin... Are you doing anything today?" she asked.

"No. What's the matter?"

Something didn't feel right.

"Oh nothing...Just wondering. Where are you?"

I looked around me for a sign and told her exactly where I was and how I unknowingly ended up here. She laughed, saying she could pick me up. And for some reason, I didn't decline. So I sat myself down at the bus stop and waited. After twenty minutes or so, a cab pulled up before me. And I automatically smiled when I saw Hwayoung's cheerful waves through the window.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I got in.

"Back to my place." she grinned, "Top's there."

"Eh?" I breathed, sitting up in shock.

"What's wrong?" she turned to me with a worried expression. I just shook my head, giving her a reassuring smile.

"He was the one who told me to call you, actually. He was afraid you'd get lost." she stated so casually, it worried me. I sighed quietly in exasperation, frustrated by how outrageous this was getting. As if sensing my vexation, Hwayoung added,

"He's just worried, Haerin. I heard you couldn't get home once. I guess that's why." she smiled. For some reason, her words didn't feel like an explanation for me. It felt more like reassurance for her own insecurities. That only made me feel worse.

Eventually, we arrived at her place. And as she had said before, Seunghyun was there. As soon as I entered the front door, I was greeted by his fretful eyes. He was still troubled over what happened last night, I could tell.

"Top!" Hwayoung greeted with a wide smile, giving him a hug, even if they were apart for barely an hour. I stood there awkwardly, watching them soak eachother in their love.

"Have you eaten?" Seunghyun asked, still with that uptight expression. I hesitated, unsure if being honest would make me a burdensome guest. Before I could answer, Seunghyun turned away, making his way to the kitchen. I glanced over at Hwayoung, noticing the slight envy in her eyes.

"He seems to know you really well, Haerin." she mumbled, forcing a smile.

"He's always like that, unnie. Not just to me, but everyone around him." I quickly replied, afraid to cause any misunderstanding. She just nodded. I could tell she wasn't convinced. I shook it off, assuming it was just the doubts of a woman about to get married. I guess it's like they say...'cold feet'.

"How's the wedding preparations coming along?" I spoke, breaking the slightly awkward atmosphere.

"It's going well. We're letting our parents handle most of the planning for the ceremony....Oh!" she suddenly exclaimed, "Your invitation is with Top. Has he handed it to you yet?"

"No..."

"He must have forgotten." she giggled, shaking her head as she rambled on about how forgetful Seunghyun was. In her eyes, was blissfulness. It was the blissfulness of a woman in love. As she spoke of the shortcomings of the man she was about to marry, I could tell how she found every single one of them adorable...even if they were going to annoy the hell out of her in the future, she'd still love it. I guess that's love.

Seunghyun returned from the kitchen, placing before me a plate with a sandwich he personally made.

"No tomatoes." He assured, "Don't worry."

I smiled inwardly, touched by his thoughtfulness. Yet I couldn't help but feel annoyed by the way he was behaving infront of his wife-to-be. It angered me, because he was making it harder for me to distant myself and forget the whole affair.

"Haerin, we took some photos for our album that day. Would you like to see them?" Hwayoung suggested so enthusiastically, I couldn't reject.

"It isn't complete. We'll be going back tomorrow for the second half of the photoshoot. But you can have a look first." she excitedly announced as she ran inside
to get the album.

I looked up to find Seunghyun looking at me with apologetic eyes.

"Stop it." I muttered, looking away. Seunghyun frowned, looking down as he played with his fingers.

"Here!" Hwayoung squealed, skipping out with the album hugged closely to her chest.

As we flipped through the pages, all I saw were happy faces. And as Hwayoung pointed out certain pictures, telling me the occurrences of that day, I laugh along. I wished I was more sincere. But sad to say, I wasn't. When my eyes skimmed through the first few pages, I actually smiled to myself. I felt like I was looking at a happy couple I didn't know. And yet from the way they looked into eachother's eyes, I could tell they were so deeply in love. But the more I looked, the more I wished I was in her position. And the more it hurt me to continue smiling.

Hwayoung was beautiful. In the pictures, with her makeup and hair done, she looked like an angel. But at that moment, as she so eagerly chattered non-stop about each picture, she was even more stunning. Because she was herself... She didn't have to search for an angle where she looked most perfect, or do her hair to look like she was attending a royal ball. All she had to do was to smile, with a bare face and with her hair flowing down her shoulders untidyly. I could see so clearly why Seunghyun loved this woman. And as these thoughts passed my mind, reality started sinking in much easier than before. And so did the pain.

"We should be going home now." Seunghyun spoke, "You should rest, Hwayoung. Prepare for tomorrow."

When Hwayoung heard that we had to leave, her sweet hazel eyes gave her disappointment away. But as she heard his sweet concern, she brightened up and nodded gleefully. She was childlike, and easy to please. Because anything Seunghyun said was like honey to her ears.

As soon as we were out of Hwayoung's place, I let out a sigh.

"I didn't drive today. Should we take the bus? Or should be hail a cab?" Seunghyun quietly asked, as if he had done something wrong and was waiting for my scolding. And honestly, his Rin would have done just that.

'What?! Why didn't you drive, pabo? Aish!'

But things have taken yet another turn. And so I gave him a soft smile.

"The cab fare would be expensive. We should take the bus."

With cautious eyes, he nodded and followed behind me as I walked towards the bus stop.


-


"Seunghyun! I made you sandwiches!" I proudly said, holding up my lunchbox.

"Really? I made you sandwiches too!" he exclaimed with a wide smile.

"Quick, try it!" he urged, opening his lunchbox and handing it out to me. I gladly took out one sandwich and bit into it, only to receive the shock of my life. There were tomatoes in his sandwich! I hated tomatoes! And while I groaned in anger, trying hard to swallow everything without tasting it, Seunghyun was laughing his head off.

"YA! YOU ! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" I yelled as soon as the food went down my throat. Seunghyun continued laughing, backing off slightly in case I hit him.

"Eat the sandwich I made for you." I calmly demanded.

"No way! I know they're carrots in there." he smugly said, walking off for class.

"CHOI SEUNGHYUN!" I screamed in resentment.


-


Throughout the bus ride, not one word was spoken. I looked out the window at all the people passing by, while Seunghyun fidgeted with his hands, looking around awkwardly. Not wanting Seunghyun to feel uncomfortable around me, I spoke.

"Top oppa, what time is your wedding photoshoot tomorrow?" I asked casually. But as soon as that endearment escaped my lips, a look of pain flashed pass Seunghyun's eyes.

"Rin..." he muttered.

"Oppa, if you keep addressing me so intimately, what would Hwayoung unnie think? You know, women get really insecure just before their wedding." I said with the most natural smile I could put up.

Seunghyun stared into my eyes, as if trying his hardest to spot a moment of falter. But not for a second did I let my guard down.


"Oppa, you should really pay more attention to Hwayoung unnie. She may seem really happy all the time, but I'm sure when you're not there with her, her mind runs wild and she starts doubting herself..."

"Will you stop talking like that?!" he hissed, annoyed by my sunny disposition.

"Like what, oppa?"

"Stop calling me oppa!" he roared. I blinked, surprised by his outburst on public transport.

"But that's what you told me to address you by..." I softly said, "It's our stop. We have to get down now."

Seunghyun stood up, furiously making his way down the line and off the bus. I quickly followed after, afraid he might do something stupid. But all he did was walk. And as I struggled to keep up with his big steps, he didn't look back once. But I soon got really breathless.

"Oppa..." I panted. And as soon as he heard me, he halted to a stop. I could see the worry in his eyes when he realized how he had been tiring me out with his anger. He turned back, approaching me slowly with guilt written all over his face.

"Let's go." he muttered as he waited by my side for me to catch my breath. I smiled to myself when we started walking, much slower this time. Almost as if we were taking a stroll. Almost like the way we walked home from school everyday in the past. Just almost...

"Top oppa, what's love?"

He looked down at me, slightly taken aback. And from the look in his eyes, I knew he remembered when he first asked me this exact question.


"I'm not sure, Haerin. All I know is that love hurts..." he said,


"I found that out on one of those Saturdays..."