"Noona, why are you packing?" Seungri asked, standing by my door.

"You're awake? So early?"

"You're not going on a holiday without us, are you?!" he gasped.

"No, Seungri!" I laughed, "I'm moving."

"WHAT?!"

I guess that wasn't any better.

"Chill! It's not like I'm leaving the country. I found a really nice apartment. Don't worry." I smiled. Seungri just stood still, with an obvious look of disappointment.

"Is it because of Top hyung?"

Seungri was growing up fast. He wasn't the oblivious little boy I remembered him to be. I realized that when he asked me that night, what my relationship with Seunghyun was. 'A beautiful mess', he said. And although those were the most precious words I've heard from Seungri, I wasn't convinced anymore. How could something as beautiful as he claimed cause one person so much pain, while the other continued living blissfully? There was nothing about our relationship that was beautiful. Not anymore, at least. It was just messed up, period.

"No, Seungri. I just thought it's about time I became more independent." I explained, hoping he'd loosen up. But he didn't. Instead, he just got angrier.

"No, Haerin noona, I don't think that's what you want." he said sternly, "Being independent doesn't mean you have to keep everything you feel to yourself. And it definitely isn't about leaving your closest family behind. Your perception of independence is so wrong, noona. You think you're doing this for us, but you're just being selfish. You're leaving us behind like how you thought Top hyung left you. This isn't being independent. This is being a coward."

I flinched at his harsh words. All of a sudden I grew incredibly mad. Why should I let the maknae tell me how to live my life? He didn't understand what I was feeling. He didn't know half the things I went through. He didn't live half his life not realizing that all he had was revolved around someone else. Someone he eventually had to lose.

I pushed Seungri out of the way, only to be blocked by Taeyang at my doorway.

"Haerin..." he breathed with eyes of sympathy.

"Go away." I hissed, making my way around him.

"Haerin!" I heard him call out again. But as quickly as I could, I left the house and made my way down the street. I let my legs take me down that familiar road. I hung my head low as I tried my hardest to force Seungri's words out of my head. And before I knew it, I was at the opening of that alley that led to our special place once more. Something inside tugged at my heart, telling me to explore. So I did.

The last time I tried, it was pitch dark. I couldn't see or hear anything. But this time, like that day 7 years ago, it was the break of dawn. And I could see, hear, and feel the exact things I did the very first time Seunghyun took me through this alley. The air was slightly misty from the morning fog. And aside from the wind and the birds, there was only the sound of my footsteps. The brick walls that lined the alley still stood strong. The traces of weeds peeking out from each crack only deepened my wanderlust.

I quickened my pace, as if replaying that fateful day. I remembered vividly how Seunghyun held my hand, walking ahead as my hasty steps followed behind. As if forgetting my senses, I lost control of my legs. The only thing I heard was the sound of my footsteps getting louder and louder, faster and faster until I instinctively came to a halt. I looked down at my feet. An inch away from the tip of my toes were long, golden brown weeds, leaning against the direction of the wind, reaching out to my waist.

I let out a breath I had unknowingly held it. Looking into the distance, my eyes landed upon that tall, wide tree. It's branches spread out like it was welcoming me back, inviting me to come close. So I trailed the bare tracks leading towards that tree...like the first time.

Seunghyun lied. As I sat myself on the ground, I wondered...just how many times did Seunghyun lie in his lifetime? The innocent Seunghyun, the softhearted Seunghyun, the honest Seunghyun that felt guilty at the smallest wrongs he did...he lied. And looking back at all the times he clenched his jaw, took a determined breath and told a lie, I was always the reason behind. And perhaps over the years, while I was gone, he got better and better at it.

I reached for my cellphone and scrolled through my contact list until it landed on Seunghyun's name. My fingers traced the call button, dying to let the weight from my heart sink in, and completely vanish through one call. But I knew that wasn't possible. Because one call would lead to another, and another, and another... I dropped the phone, leaning my head back against the trunk of our tree.

After another two hours of thinking things out, I decided to return. I didn't want the guys to worry. But despite going back with a clearer mind, I still felt like I was leaving a big part of me behind.

I knocked on our front door, hoping someone other than Seungri would answer. But you know how life is...

"Noona!" he cried, pulling me into a hug, "I'm sorry, noona."

I didn't reply, stunned by his outburst. I felt his grip tighten.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, silly. I should be the one that's sorry." I said, pulling away. Seungri searched my eyes for an explanation.

"I'm sorry that after so much thinking, I'm still not changing my mind." I muttered, expecting Seungri to get angry at me again. But he didn't. Instead, he enveloped me in another hug.

"I just want you to be happy, Haerin noona." he whispered.

"I will be, Seungri. I have you guys." I smiled, patting his back.

I moved the next day. And the guys helped me with the stuff. Seunghyun wasn't free, and since he was the only one that had a car, we had no choice but to call a cab. My apartment wasn't that far, anyway. Not close by enough for them to come by as and when they liked, but it didn't take half a day to get there so I guess it isn't that bad.

"Where's Taeyang oppa?" I asked Jiyong, who had his head on my shoulder.

"He said he had something on." he mumbled. I raised a brow.

"Are you that tired, Ji?" I commented skeptically.

"Ya! You should be thankful I even helped! Stop trying to indicate that I'm lazy!" he shot back.

"I could have done it myself anyway." I grumbled.

"What are you saying? You're moving into your own apartment in an unfamiliar town. Of course I have to help."

I rolled my eyes, amazed at his complete change of attitude and tone.

After an hour's ride, we arrived at my apartment building. Daesung paid the driver while the rest of us unloaded the trunk.

"I'll help you, noona." Seungri said, snatching the bags out of my hand and flashing me a cute smile.

We got into the lift and immediately Jiyong dropped the bags and started admiring his hair in the mirror. As if on cue, the three of us rolled our eyes and looked away.

"I saw that." Jiyong snarled threateningly, still tidying his hair.

We arrived on the 13th storey and quickly exited the lift, in attempt to leave Jiyong behind. The corridors weren't wide, but it's not like I was going to hold parties and invite every person I knew so it didn't bother me. Jiyong, on the other hand, had a million complaints.

"How are you gonna live like this, Haerin-ah?! This is unacceptable!" he yelled, sending echos down the empty corridor.

I just kept silent.

"Are you sure it's safe?" Daesung asked, unusually quiet.

"Stop worrying, guys. I'll be fine!" I reassured, stopping outside a door.

"1302. This is it!" I beamed, sliding my key in. I glanced back at the three guys who had such anticipation written all over their faces. I twisted the key and slowly pushed the door open.

It wasn't anything extravagent. The walls were painted white, like any other basic apartment. There were two bedrooms, a bathroom and a little kitchen extended from the living room.

"Hmmmm..." Jiyong tilted his head as his drifted to the kitchen.

"What? You think it's too small?" I asked.

"Yeah...But you can't really cook anyway so it doesn't matter." he remarked, making his way to the bedrooms.

"YA!" I screeched.

Daesung and Seungri laughed, tailing behind Jiyong.

"The bedroom's nice though." Seungri exclaimed, hopping onto the bed before Jiyong did.

"Are you gonna invite us over soon? For a party?" Daesung chirped.

"Yeah, I guess so." I replied.

I wondered to myself if this 'party' would involve Seunghyun. And alcohol...