I lay in my bed that night, thinking about the path I've taken. All the things I've chased and all the things I let slip through my fingers. I always thought I was independent. The choices I've made in life all revolved around what I wanted, and what I thought was best for myself. But now that I think of it, that really wasn't the case.

 

Seunghyun and I met when I was 13, and him 15. Because we were neighbors and both preferred heading home straight after school, running into each other was inevitable. From strangers, we became acquaintances. And from acquaintances, we became friends... Best friends. That was where I drew the line.

 

I flipped through the little scrapbook I made 7 years ago, before I left. In every page, there was a picture of a random object or place. It was a log of all the things Seunghyun and I have done together. On one page was a photo of a stapler, from the time I got my finger pierced by a stapler bullet. I unknowingly smiled to myself as I remembered how upset Seunghyun was at the inanimate object. He threw it away after that, but I took a picture so I'll always remember our little moments. I wasn't sure why i wanted so badly never to forget. Because right now, I just feel so stupid remembering.

 

Hwayoung... I wondered what kind of a girl she was. She must have been the one to change Seunghyun. She must have picked him up from rock bottom, where I left him, filled him up with confidence and taught him how to love. She must be wonderful. I smiled, too tired to even lift my hands to wipe the tears that unknowingly flowed. It wasn't long before the pillow under my head was soaked. I cussed under my breath upon realizing it.

 

All of a sudden, there was a light knock. My eyes darted towards the door.

 

"Haerin?" Jiyong's voice was heard. I didn't know if responding was a good idea, since my nose was clogged from the crying and my voice would probably give it away. So I held my breath and waited for him to leave.

 

"Haerin, sleep well." I heard him say before the sound of his footsteps faded more and more into the distance. Before I know it, I slipped into slumber.

 

I was woken the next morning when I heard a familiar song playing outside my door.

 

"Gudemanur argesso ne sumi da handedo

'Cause you are the one~"

 

Perfect Man by Shinhwa. I smiled to myself.

 

 

-

 

 

"CHOI SEUNGHYUN GET YOUR OUT OF BED NOW!" I yelled, shaking him violently was he groaned in frustration.

 

"We're gonna be late for school!!!!!" I screamed. Seunghyun eyes widened as soon as he saw the time. I stepped back as he jumped out of bed and made a dash for the toilet.

 

"I'll wait for you downstairs. Hurry, alright?!" I shouted so he'd hear me above the sound of the running water. After ten minutes, Seunghyun was dressed and ready for school. I watched him in awe as he made his way down the stairs.

 

"You're good." I praised, surprised by how tidy his uniform was. Not to mention his neatly gelled hair. All that done in ten minutes.

 

"You're not bad yourself, Rin. What a way to start someone's day." He sarcastically remarked.

 

"I had no choice, we were running late..." I pouted, taken aback by Seunghyun's words.

 

"Still, you could have been gentler. I thought there was an earthquake. I almost died there." he exaggerated.

 

"Arrasso, mian. How do you suggest I wake you next time then?" I asked, still pouting slightly. He laughed and his chin with his thumb and index finger as he thought of an idea.

 

"You could play a song by my ear or something. You have your mp3, don't you?"

 

I nodded.

 

"Can I just scream in your ear instead?" I asked cheekily.

 

"You can try, but I don't know what might happen..." Seunghyun replied, as if taunting me to take the challenge. I gave him a glare.

 

"Arrasso, MP3." I snapped, admitting defeat.

 

 

-

 

 

"Good morning, Haerin Cutie!" Seunghyun greeted brightly, turning the music off. My eyes fell to his hands, one holding on to his phone while the other to a mini speaker. It was as if he had so thoughtfully prepared for this morning call.

 

"Don't do that again. It annoys me." I coldly said, sending him a glare. I quickly made my way to the bathroom, afraid to see his reaction. And as soon as the bathroom door closed behind me, I crumbled.

 

 

-

 

 

"Rin, you're going out? What about our Saturday routine?" Seunghyun asked, stood by my bed watching me search the place frantically for everything I needed.

 

"Minhyuk's waiting for me, Seunghyun-ah, be good and not get in the way, ok?" I cooed.

 

"What about me?" he said, raising his voice slightly.

 

"I don't know Seunghyun, I'm sure you'll find something to do!" I halfheartedly replied, still focusing on getting ready for my unofficial date.

 

"That's not the point, Rin! Why must it be a Saturday?! Saturday is our day!!" he flared up, standing in the way of the door.

 

"Stop it, Choi Seunghyun!" I hollered, "I have a life so stop trying to control me! It's annoying!"

 

His face fell. I pushed him aside, leaving him completely crushed by my words.

 

 

-

 

 

"Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write...

Kind of turn themselves into knives

And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction

But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear

'Cause here we are, here we are..."

 

 

I stood still, holding my breath as I listened to the melancholic voice lifelessly sing along to the words that painted his mind. The mind that no one knew. Without my knowing, a tear escaped my stubborn eyes, falling onto the piece of paper I held on tightly to in my right hand. I rolled that piece of paper up and placed it neatly at the foot of the door leading to the balcony, where Seunghyun sat.

 

'Seunghyun ah, I'm so sorry. I decided to ditch the date. I'm spending my Saturday with my favouritest person in the world! That's if he doesn't already hate me to bits. I'll be at home! Please come find me...

 

Love,

The world's biggest pabo! (one that's ten times bigger than Choi Seunghyun)'

 

 

Now signed with a tear.