“Hyukkie…” I shake my head quickly. “Please don’t do this to me” my voice breaks and I felt silent tears escaping my eyes, but I made no attempt to wipe them away. I was surprised that I didn’t cling onto him and beg for him to not leave me, but I knew Kai was important to him, so I couldn’t change anything.

          Hyukkie stares at me with sad eyes, “Don’t,” he approaches me, cups my cheeks and wipes away my tears, “I just need…time” he says softly, his voice was breaking as well.  I wipe away his own tears with my thumbs and slowly shake my head.

          Time? He needs time? “For what?” I ask while wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close to me. Now that he was mine, I was determined to not let him go, ever.  

          He takes my hands into his and pecks them lightly “Until Kai fully recovers…” he whispers and looks at me “He will need therapy as well and I need to be there for him, Donghae” he says softly. “…Would you wait for me?” he asks gently as he my cheek lightly.  

          I chew on my lower lip and exhale deeply; I drop my gaze and stare at our feet. I close my eyes, allowing the hot tears to fall down my cheeks. I reluctantly nod my head without looking at him because I wanted to say no…I wanted to tell him that Kai shouldn’t be the reason we would break up, but I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t ruin his one chance to mending things with his broken cousin.

          He pulls me into a warm hug and I wrap my arms around his waist and cry into his chest, I mumble out words about how much I loved him and how I didn’t want to let him go, and he rubbed my back and tried to calm me down by whispering into my ear how much he loved me.

          I believed him.

          I really did.

          He hugs me tightly and cries with me, but his cries were silent compared to mine, I was breaking in his arms.

           I pull away and he wipes my tears, “C-Can I write you something?” I figured that, that would be an easier way to explain how I feel since my cries muffled out all of my words.

          He sniffles and nods slowly, “I should go back to the hospital” he says softly. “But…” he was hesitant. I look at him with big eyes and sniffle. “But what?” I ask.

          “I’ll let you know how he’s doing…” he says simply. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t care how he was doing, all that I cared about was that he would fully recover so that Hyukkie and I could be together again, but I was afraid to say something that would insult his cousin, so I kept my mouth shut and only nodded.

          “Will I see you soon?” I ask.

          He looks at me and cracks a smile, “I am your neighbor…don’t you see me every day?” he half jokes and I smile a bit and nod.

          Hyukkie left to the hospital and I went home and sat on the couch- I was still crying my eyes out from what had happened earlier, but I was mostly mad at Kai. Why did the idiot have to get hurt?! Why did he have to like me, of all people?! I couldn’t help but feel this way, but then a part of me really did wish he would recover and get over me on his own through  therapy.

          I exhale deeply and my parents walk into the living room and sit beside me on t he couch.

          “Your Uncle’s court was today…” my mom says softly. “Apparently he attempted to a young boy…” she was hesitant, “So he will be behind bars for a while…I didn’t hear for how long.” She looks down and sniffles, “I’m sure it was a misunderstanding though” she nods.

          My daddy places his hand on mine, “Is that why you’re crying? Or was it Hyukjae’s cousin?” he asks.

          I sniffle and shake my head, “It’s a long story…but I think I already have to tell you something else” I whisper and look down at my lap, “I don’t know how to say this…but…” I chew on my lower lip. “Before I do, let me just apologize now for not telling you this before. I know I should have…” I exhale a bit and part my lips.

          “DongHae…just say it” my mother squeezes my shoulder gently.

          “Ok…” I close my eyes, unable to see their expression. “Do you remember when Uncle HyunBin used to live here with us?” They whispered a reply, afraid to know where I was going with this. “I was nine…when it first happened…” I whispered. “He would tell me that he wanted to play…games” I hesitated. “Somehow I ended up undressed…and then that’s when he..” I broke down then, I sniffle and began to silently cry.

          “DongHae…you’re scaring me” my mommy says softly as she rubs my shoulder, “Please…don’t tell me that he…hurt you…”

          “Did he hit you?!” My dad asks suddenly.

          I shake my head and wipe my eyes, “He me” I whisper softly. “I’m sorry” I add quickly when they both broke down on me; my mother started crying heavily while my dad looked ready to go murder him, but he stayed put and just held me tightly while I cried on his shoulder.

          “I didn’t know” I whisper. “I didn’t understand what was happening at the time…”

          “I know baby, I know” he whispers and pecks my head, “We wont ever let him hurt you again” he says softly.      

          My mom leans on me and cries out apologies to me, but I shake my head and tell her it wasn’t her fault. “We have to make sure he stays in jail now…” She says softly.

          I sniffle and hug them both tightly as they cried in my arms. I felt like I was consoling them more than anything, but I didn’t mind. I go up to my room while they discuss what they should do about Uncle Hyunbin. I go inside and smile at Abby, “Hi sweetie” I say happily. I climb on my bed and hug her gently; I peck her head multiple times, “I missed you” I say honestly.

          She my fingers happily and I smile at her, “What will happen with you now that your daddy and I are temporarily separated?” I pout sadly at the thought. I lean down on my pillow and think about what I should write to him, how I should explain to him everything I feel.

          After some time of thinking, I grab paper and a pen and sit up comfortably on my bed. I lean on the headboard and stare at the paper and begin to write down as neatly as I could manage.

** **

          “Aw what a cute dog!”

          I was walking down the steps with Abby in my arms when my mother saw her for the first time. I completely forgot to present her to my parents, but I’ve had so much in my mind. I smile at my mom then at Abby, “Shes my baby” I say happily.

          “Ohhh, is she?” She grins and pets her gently, “Is she ok?” she asks while eying the cloth around her back.

          I nod, “She’s getting better…little by little” I half smile and walk