Chapter 22

Tabi’s POV

After a long and exhausting day, finally I can be alone with myself, and hopefully won’t be bothered by thoughts of today’s events.  It was surprising how the things that happened to me recently did not really affect me as much as I thought it would.  Maybe I am still in state of shock, or maybe those things have not sunk in to me yet because they seemed to happen all at once.  But what surprised me the most was that the image of Dara crying on the stairs, the moment we shared today’s troubles, the way she comfortably asked for my advice, and the confused look on her face with everything that’s happening, kept replaying in my head.  Everything was basically about Dara.  Have I gone crazy?

She’s going to meet him tomorrow to give herself a closure.  That’s what she said.

I have had enough.  I didn’t know what to do to stop those thoughts from entering my head.  I felt like I was seriously going crazy, so I buried my head under my pillow and tried to scream as inaudibly as possible.  I felt so hot and it felt like I was going to explode, and I couldn’t make myself comfortable.  Suddenly, my phone beeped and I received a text from Bom.

“Call me.”

Why?  Why should I?   Even if I’d call, there was really nothing to talk about.  I sat up on the edge of my bed, thinking.  After a while, another message came.

“I know if I call you won’t pick up, so I’m texting you instead.  You may think there’s nothing to talk about, but I have so many things I have to say, Seunghyunah.  Let’s meet tomorrow.”

Bom noona was right.  I really don’t think there’s anything to talk about.  I was torn between meeting her and ignoring her til the end.  But I guess this wont ever end if I just keep ignoring this.  I guess this was how Dara felt when Jiyong texted her.  Should I also just meet Bom one last time to give myself a closure?   I thought maybe I can just meet her and listen to what she has to say.  I couldn’t really think straight so I decided to leave it for tomorrow and just call it a night.

I woke up and the weather was nice.  The sun was shining through my window.  I went downstairs and found Dara frying some eggs and toasting some bread.

“Oh, you’re up.”

She greeted me brightly.  I think that was the first time she ever did.

“Yeah, are you making breakfast?”

“Yup, come sit down.  The toast is almost finished.”

“For me too?”  I was half expecting it but I just had to ask.

She made breakfast for the two of u and she even served me the toast and eggs brightly.  It was strange, then I remembered she said last night that she is going to meet Jiyong today.  I couldn’t really care less but I asked just to start a conversation.  Really.

“Noona, are you really going to meet Jiyong today?”

“Uhm.”  She nodded.

“Aah.  Are you that excited that you even made breakfast?”

“Ya, why do you always link my good deeds to Jiyong?  Can’t I make breakfast if I want to?”

“Well.. it’s just..”

“And besides, I’m kind of thankful for last night.”

“What about it?”

“Well, I know it was hard for you to open up, but you did.  I feel trusted, and I felt like I could trust you too.”

“But can I really trust you?”

“YAH!”

After breakfast, I left for my classes while Dara stayed at home.  Bom texted me again, this time about the meeting place and time.  She said she wanted to meet for lunch but I was not available until 2pm so I replied to her for the first time in a long time.

“I have a class til 2pm.  We can meet after that.  Same place”

“Seunghyunah… thank you.  I’ll wait.”

After all my classes have finished, my heartbeat started to race.  As I was nearing our meeting place, my footsteps became slower and heavier.  What if I wasn’t ready for this yet?  What if things are slowly sinking in to me now?  My mind was filled with this kind of thoughts and I couldn’t see what was ahead of me.  I almost bumped unto a car.  It was Bom’s.  She’s already here.

When I went in, I saw Bom’s back from a distance.  Her head hung low, and I could tell she was nervous too.  My heartbeat started to race again as I slowly approached her table.  I grabbed a seat in front of her and she lifted her head to look at me.

“Seunghyunah, you came.”

Bom’s eyes were red and swollen.  Her face was pale, and thinner.  She looked sick.

“Noona.”

“I thought you weren’t really going to come.  I’m so happy.”

She held my hand and tears started to fill her eyes as she smiled at me.  It felt like something pierced through my heart, and I couldn’t look at her.

“What do you want to tell me?  Have I not heard everything yet?”

“Father told me you met him yesterday and that you know everything now.  You now know that we’re not real siblings.”

“So what if we’re not real siblings?  That doesn’t change anything.”

“But isn’t that what made you very angry?  That you liked me all your life and you found out that we’re siblings?  But where not, Seunghyunah.”

“It’s not even about that anymore, noona.  I’m way past that.  I realized that what’s made me even angrier is that everyone knew but no one told me.  I was kept in the dark by you and Teddy hyung, the people I trusted the most.  I would have been fine that you kept your relationship from me, but you kept the whole truth about my life to me.  And so what, if we’re not real siblings?  You’re going to marry Tedy hyung anyway.  I don’t want to have anything to do with the two of you anymore.”

“But Seunghyunah, I… I want you!  I need you.” 

Bom clutched my hand tighter and she started sobbing.  I was taken aback at her statement, that I withdrew my hand from her grip as I stood up.

“Noona, are you crazy?!”

“Seunghyunah”  Her tears kept flowing from her eyes and she started breathing heavily.

“What were you expecting to get after telling me all that nonsense?”

“I know you only came to meet me to get a closure, but I was still hoping til the end that that wasn’t the case.  Seunghyunah, I think I might really go crazy if you leave me now.”  She sobbed.

Closure.  Closure. When I heard the word closure, I suddenly remembered Dara.  Was she able to end things with Jiyong cleanly today?  Where were they meeting today?  What time were they meeting today?  What if she ends up crying again?  Aish, that babo ajumma!

 I dashed off to look for them without even knowing where to start.

“Seunghyunah!”  Bom called out but I couldn’t look back, I don’t know why.  Something else felt more urgent.

I tried calling Dara as I ran to the nearest bus stop.  I remembered Dara often goes to the café where Youngbae works so I decided to look there first.

2:35pm.  What time are they meeting?  Damn it!

I arrived at the café, but they weren’t there.  I searched in the other cafes nearby, hoping they were in one of them. 3:10pm.  I couldn’t find them.  I felt like giving up, when unexpectedly, I saw Dara from across the road.  She was crossing the pedestrian towards my direction.  She had her head bowed down and she was wiping her eyes with her handkerchief, and I knew from that instant that their meeting did not go well for her.  As soon as she walked by close to me, I grabbed her and held her in my arms.  I patted her back to comfort her while I let her cry on my shoulder.