At home one evening

“~~~~~ I have some time off this weekend if you want us to go “female” clothes shopping.” Eli oppa said using air quotes for the word female.

“No thanks” you said with even looking away from the T.V.

“Why not? You can’t keep go to school looking like a boy.”

You finally turned around facing him. He saw how you were glaring at him.

“Bumblebee you dare to glare at your oppa like that!! You’re becoming very rude and disobedient now. This whole high school thing was a mistake. Maybe you would do better at your old school.”

“Oppa, why are you being so mean to me?” you started pouting. You looked almost genuinely sad.

“Eli, why are you bothering my little sister? Don’t have anything else to do that terrorizing teenage girls?”

“Sung Kyu, oppa do you think I dress too much like a boy to school?” you were in full aegyo action.

“How could anyone look at a face like yours and think you’re a boy.” He pinched your cheeks. “”Aigoo, my cute little dongsaeng!” he exclaimed.

“Cute is for boys and pretty is for girls. So you’re saying my little sister looks like cute boy?” Chunji walked into the room.

Sung Kyu smacked him in the head playfully, while you glared at him. “I’m just joking. Our little bumblebee is really beautiful on the inside and…. Wait my phone is ringing” he ran out of the room.

“I didn’t hear anything” you said. They all looked around at you because you did seem to understand the prank Chunji had just played.

When Chunji came back, he said inside beauty was more important than anything else. It didn’t matter how pretty a girl maybe, if she was nasty on the inside no one will love her.

“My dongsaeng as all the right qualities inside and…..coming Heechul hyung!!” Chunji ran out of the room again.

“I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t know Heechul oppa was here”.

“He’s not. He’s still at the office.” Eli and Sung Kyu shook their heads at you.

Feeling a bit frustrated, by your oppas you went into Insoo oppa’s room. He was not home as yet. You sat on the couch facing the window. You look through the window at the beautiful night sky. Your room did not have a beautiful view as his. His room was painted in a calm colour of blue that made you feel calm and peaceful on the inside. The bed table light was on. You stayed there until you curled up against one of his pillow and went to dream world.

When Insoo came home which was normally late. We check to see if everyone one was in to lock up the house. He visited all his hyungs room first and then his dongsaengs. He went to your room and saw it empty. He knew the only other place you might be.

Insoo opened his room door and saw his dongsaeng curled up on the couch sleeping, under the light of the night table. He knew something was bothering his dongsaeng, which was only reason for you to be here.

He brought a blanket and cover you up and kissed you cheek. “Sleep well Bumblebee, whatever is worrying you tell Hyung Jun oppa all about tomorrow. Rest well, high school is just the beginning of life”

Insoo showered got dressed and went to bed.

“Good night my beautiful dongsaeng”

“Goodnight my calm Insoo oppa” you said subconsciously in your sleep.

Insoo was shocked. Then he realized you were not actually awake, so he relaxed and went to sleep.

In the morning you decide to skateboard to school since you were early.

“It’s time for you to stop using that board to get to school” said Eli oppa

“Wae?”

“No wonder people will think you’re a boy.”

You tired of Eli oppa on your back about this I look like a boy problem. You place two fingers in your mouth and blew, but nothing came out. How did the hyungs make whistling look so easy.

“Ahhhhh!!” you screamed on top of your voice.  

  All your oppas ran downstairs to where you were. Insoo was obvious frighten out of his sleep, Sung Kyu dropped the dish with his breakfast running, Kibum was half dressed for school, Chunji had a towel wrapped around his waist. Heechul ran with all his work papers and Hyung Jun ran down stairs with shock in his eyes.

“I didn’t know how to whistle” you said lamely. All your brothers glared at you. It was the first time they have ever heard you scream so they were sacred something bad had happen to you.

“Sorry oppas, but I need to ask you all something.”

“You couldn’t wait until this evening?” asked Kibum.

“No, because Heechul oppa, Junnie oppa and Insoo oppa comes home too late.”

“Ok bee what’s the problem? You have all your oppas attention now.”

“Oppas do I look like a boy?” you asked

“~~~~~ is this the real reason for me to jump out of the bathroom.”

“I just broke a dish in the kitchen running like crazy ~~~~ and that’s your question?”

“I was tired and I was sleeping ~~~~”

“I threw my important documents aside running to see if you were fine ~~~~~”

It seems like all your oppas were ganging up on you. They couldn’t understand the problem you were having.  You were a fish out of water when it came to talking to guys when you were seen as a girl. The guy you have crush on thinks you are a guy. Guys are asking you for advice that they will never tell their girlfriends. You have to hide your gender from your guy friends. You have use the male bathroom, run extra laps, shower with guys and your new friends will feel like you betrayed them or you have been lying to them to get closer to guys.

All these thoughts ran through your head. The tears started to fall freely from your eyes not caring. Chunji and Hyung Jun were the first to run to your side.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you, what oppa can do to make it better? Does it hurt somewhere” worrisome Hyung asked.

You nodded and pointed to your heart. You have been attending your new school now for 3 weeks and you have become close with your friends and you saw that your secret could destroy your friendship. It also made the situation of liking Jinyoung more complicated.

Insoo quietly walked back to his room and went back to bed. He hated to see you in pain and he knew there was nothing he could do to help you.

All your others were around, soothing you with words for you to calm down. They took you to the sitting room and asked what the problem was. You explained everything to them except the whole you liking Jinyoung. You knew your oppas would not approve of that.

“~~~~~ you have to tell them the truth”

“How can I they will hate me?”

“True friends won’t.”

“When they start seeing as a girl I’m going to be nervous talking to them. Remember how it was with Kevin?”

“Yeah, you stutter a lot and say a lot of foolish statements that didn’t make sense. Your hands would get all sweat and gross and….”

“Thanks Kibum of reminding of those awful memories”

“You’re welcome sis. Anytime”

“Can’t you see your sister is sad, be a little bit nicer to her for a second?”

“I can do that. I’m really sorry sis about everything you have been going through” he patted your back. All your brothers were shock at his maturity.

“And I give you 5 seconds, times up. ~~~~~ I need to get to school so I’m leaving first.”

“It was good while it lasted.” Said Heechul

“You have to tell them or they will be mad at you if someone else tells them.

“Ok oppas I will; when the time is right.”