Title: Of Love and Wedding Ceremonies

Rating: G

 WC: 1,735

A/N: Just going through Hyukjae’s quandary when it comes to love.

                Nothing good really happens whenever he have dinners with his parents, if it’s not about work that they’ll be talking, it’ll be about how he should already find a wife and start his life. His mother’s the one that’s really eager about this, she would talk endless about how she’ll plan his wedding and his future; she even already said how many grand children she would love and all that stuff. So basically, Hyukjae’s mom wants him to get married faster and have a kid already so she will have someone to play with. Okay, that’s really easy; he could just get any girl out there and get them pregnant and offer the kid to his mom. That would do the trick.

But no, Hyukjae’s dream of having a family isn’t like that. He wants to have his off spring from a person he loves and not to some random girl that hits with him. That one, is the hardest part though because, Hyukjae still have his doubts when it comes to love and money. Those two couldn’t be tied so easily, with how he sees their generation now, most people would choose the second option. Greediness would be Hyukjae’s forever enemy.

So even before the dessert is served, he excused himself and drove fast to Heechul’s club. He had enough for a day.

“Someone’s grumpy,” the club’s owner sung in the air. They were on their private booth waiting for the others to arrive. “Tell me, what did your mom do this time?”

He growled lowly under his breath and sent daggers at the innocent table.

“It never gets old does it?” He sighed and appreciated how Heechul’s staying quite mannered tonight. It’s rare to see him care about the others because everything is about him. “Why don’t you find someone then?”

“If that’s too easy hyung, I could’ve been married ages ago,” he looked at the older and noticed how he’s smiling at him. “You know how my past relationships have been.”

“Well, that was before, Hyukjae. Present day is actually right in front of you, I could say that you’ve already seen it, it’s just that you won’t give it another chance,” he patted his shoulder and stood up. “But if you still won’t take it, I won’t mind helping you, or yet I would gladly take it for myself,” he winked and walked off, leaving him alone in the booth.

“He’s the third person that left me today,” he mumbled and detached his eyes from Heechul’s back.

As the night went on, his friends slowly showed up, starting off with Sungmin and ending with Yesung. Their usual setting went on as they gossip about each other and played jokes in between the intervals, however, their happiness didn’t affect Hyukjae even an ounce. More than having problems with the company like how Gyuri thought he would be, his future worries him to the core. And that would be, thanks to the person that gave birth to him.

Hyukjae’s actually happy with the life he has as of now, he has friends that never forgets about him (even though they annoy him), and a stable job that fends for his needs. And even with the lack of romance in his life, Hyukjae doesn’t see any problem with rushing things and getting on in a married life. But somehow, whenever his mom opens the topic, a small voice inside his head tells him that he should really need to start moving on with his life and think more about his future than his social life.

Amongst his friends, the one that is ahead of them is Shindong. The guy had it easy; he met his fiance during high school and dated when they bumped into each other on their second year in college. Since then, Shindong has been committed to only one person and as a result, they’re weeks away from the wedding day. Yesung’s also in a long time relationship with Seungyeon, the girl they also met during college.

It was what Hyukjae’s most jealous of.

Those kinds of relationship are what Hyukjae’s finding for. Someone that he had known long enough to trust and be sure enough to spend the rest of his life with, cliché, yeah he knows it. But he’s not to be blamed; his mother had made him watch all those dramas and well, from experience.

His past relationships lasted for about five months to two and a half year, and none of the girls seemed to be like the one. Though his first one (and the longest one) felt like it, Hyukjae couldn’t forget how he was almost fooled by someone he thought he could marry. She was beautiful, smart, and was easily liked by his friends. They were almost sure that they’ll be attending a wedding ceremony, if only the girl didn’t confessed that she only dated him because she knew who he was the day before he asked for her hand. And even though Hyukjae wants nothing but for the girl to vanish in this world, he had forgiven her for her honesty and his admiration for her didn’t lessen any bit. He’s still willing to see her after that, but the girl decided that she’s too unforgivable to be with him. Thus, Hyukjae didn’t take his next relationships as serious as he was with the first one.

Extra precautions never hurt, right?

“By the way Siwon, does Gyuri do wedding photos?” Shindong asked as their talk sailed on to his upcoming wedding.

“I’m not too sure, but the girl would do anything if you asked her kindly and seeing how she grew fond of you, I bet she’ll be thrilled to,” the model smiled.

“That’s great!” he beamed and Hyukjae thought that if he still stayed there while they talk about Shindong’s wedding day, he would loose it. So with the lame excuse of “Had a long day”, he saluted everyone and walked out of the club with a stinging jealousy around his chest.

He walked inside his dark flat never bothering to open any single means of light and only referring to the glowing light of the moon coming from his windows. He threw himself at the leather couch and stared at the dark ceiling with his left arm hovering over his forehead. His day just turned so bad. Why would his mom need to call him for dinner anyways? And do they really need to talk about Shindong’s wedding? Everyone knew how he felt towards it, and yet they still rubbed it on his face.

Hyukjae knew that everytime he does that, leaving everyone while they talk about such thing, he’s being rude. But he can’t help it, because each time, the wound would open up along with the thoughts of ‘what ifs’ running wild across his mind and then, he’ll blame himself for not going after her. For him, there’s no other love out there. He had let it go and he won’t find someone as honest as she was. He won’t be able to love someone so easily and be loved back as Hyukjae himself.

The world is just not fair.

At least to him, that is, because after all, he’s proud of his friend for finally settling down. In fact, Hyukjae’s quite excited about it too, how Shindong would managed a married life, but he just don’t know how to show it without feeling envious over the guy. And even though he’s reluctant at first, he made sure to attend the ceremony with a smile on his lips and stand by Shindong’s side as one of his best man.

And now that Gyuri’s name had been brought, Hyukjae couldn’t help but wonder if they would invite the photographer. Though he’s sure that they will, he still wishes for her to come. Kyuhyun has been right about his little crush with her, and even though he never plans on admitting to it, he’s positive that the other guys had already seen the hole. If not, why would they make fun of him in front of her? His friends are childish but when it comes down to girls, they have the most sensitive instinct, especially the maknae.

And if what Heechul was talking about earlier, being Gyuri as the girl for him, then the older would be wrong this time. Yes, Hyukjae would admit that he’s attracted to the girl, but no, not in a way that it would blossom to a wonderful relationship. There’s no such thing as love at first sight, people were only confused between infatuation and love that it sometimes leads to misunderstanding and hurting. Hyukjae know better than that.

It takes time to know that what you really felt for the other is what they call love. It doesn’t just pops out of nowhere and hits you bad to fall so easily. That was just some fairytales written in those children books. Books that Hyukjae never had the chance to read but knows all about, cover to cover.

Though, he would lie if he didn’t think that Gyuri might be the princess in those stories because she looks just like one, but nonetheless, he’s not her Prince Charming. Maybe if the writer of the story forgets about the armors and white horse, and replaced them with a cup of coffee and silent rain, then Hyukjae might think of applying for the role. Taking everything slowly is what he likes the best. Getting to know her first would be wonderful rather than saving her from a villian and the next thing that happens is happily ever after.

He just doesn’t see that as thrilling as finding out who she really is.

But he bet that he’ll have another chance of having a cup of coffee with her. What happened earlier was just out of luck, and aside from the lack of communication between them, Hyukjae isn’t taking the lead any further. It would be fun to get close to her but Hyukjae wouldn’t risk any chance of hurting his friend’s friend, and Gyuri looks kind enough to be one of his past times. Hurting someone as beautiful as her would be a mistake. He’ll just let Kyuhyun have her or Heechul, in that matter.

That is, if this ‘little crush’ of him fades away easily and silently and would never bother to grow and knock inside his heart.