“Baekhyun hyung, have some food,” Sehun urged as he set down a bowl of porridge on the desk in Baekhyun’s room. “Kyungsoo hyung prepared this for you earlier. Have at least a few bites. You need the energy.”

However Baekhyun was lying in bed under the covers as he stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Hyung, I beg of you, please eat something,” Sehun pleaded.

“Sehun, just leave me alone,” Baekhyun uttered weakly.

“But hyung…” Sehun protested.

“You don’t have to come in and check on me every half an hour or so. I won’t do anything foolish,” Baekhyun muttered.

Sehun sighed. “I leave the food here. If you feel hungry, you could always eat.”

……

As Sehun settled down in the sofa in the living room, he took out his sketch book and began to draw an image of Chanyeol strumming the guitar. He then continued with just a simple sketch of Chanyeol with his creepy smile.

The house was quiet and empty. The club was closed for the evening as the rest of the boys were at the wake while he stayed at home to watch over Baekhyun. Sehun felt lonely. He wanted to talk to someone. He wanted someone to help him make sense of Chanyeol's death He reached for his handphone and scrolled down his contacts, but he just didn’t know whom to talk to until he came to that familiar name.

Lu Han.

He was tempted to send a message to Lu Han. He tapped on the message button and tapped on the keys to type a few words. But after a few words, he would just erase them, and started typing the message all over again. He repeated this for a few times until he gave up and chucked his handphone aside. He got up, went into his bedroom, opened the box which Lu Han had filled with his kisses. 

This would be his source of comfort for now as he remembered the words Lu Han said. 

Meanwhile Kyuhyun and Sungmin were at the funeral parlour receiving the mourners who came to the wake. They were all dressed in black, and together with Joon-myun, they represented Chanyeol’s family and would bow in return in appreciation.

Kyungsoo and Jongin meanwhile talked to the mourners and spent time with them with Jongin like a loyal puppy never leaving Kyungsoo’s side in fear that Kyungsoo might suffer a relapse of his depression. Jongin was sad about Chanyeol’s passing, but he was more worried about Kyungsoo’s wellbeing. That mattered to him above anything.

……

In a zombie like state, Baekhyun finally rose from bed, got himself washed up, and changed into the suit, and arranged his hair neatly. He slowly applied eyeliner as Chanyeol had always complimented that he (Baekhyun) looks good with eyeliner on. He wanted to appear perfect for Chanyeol. He had not cried since returning from the hospital two days ago. He just holed himself in his room under his covers, refusing to eat anything only drinking water. He slept through the day and night. He avoided going to Chanyeol’s wake at the funeral parlour. By not going, he would not have to confront the reality that Chanyeol was dead.

The ride to the funeral parlour was quiet. No one said a word. No one was crying either. Everyone looked gloomy and morose. When they got there, Sungmin told the other boys to stay back for a while to allow Baekhyun a short private time with Chanyeol.

Wreaths lined the entrance of the parlour room. Baekhyun took off his shoes as he stepped into the room. White chrysanthemums as well as a white and black ribbon adorned Chanyeol’s portrait – a picture of him smiling brightly just like the “happy virus” persona he was. White chrysanthemums also took up quite a bit of the altar space.

Facing Chanyeol’s picture, Baekhyun offered one full bow and got into a crouched position, facing the floor. He held this position for a while, before getting up and repeating the step again. He then got up and did a bow from the waist two and a half times. When Baekhyun was done, be approached the altar and brushed his fingers on Chanyeol’s photo, finally breaking down and weeping in silence.

“I hate you Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun cursed. “I wish I had never met you. If you had never met me, you would not have died. You bastard. How could you do this to me? How could you leave me like this? I hate you! You’re a liar. You broke your promise! I hate you!” 

Tears and mucus started to flow, smudging his eyeliner in the process as he fell to his knees and gasped. “I’m sorry Channie. I didn’t mean what I said. I’m sorry for not reciprocating your love soon enough. If only I understood how much I love you earlier, I wouldn’t have waited this long to be with you. I wronged you Channie. I don’t hate you. I love you. I love you so much. I don’t want to say goodbye to you.” 

“I know you always liked to hear me sing,” Baekhyun said. “Let me sing for you this one last time.”

And Baekhyun launched into the songs which he dedicated to Chanyeol at the concert. Baekhyun’s voice was wobbly and hoarse. He paused several times as he choked on his sobs but he finally completed all the songs.

Sungmin entered the room, walked towards Baekhyun and comforted him. One by one the other boys filed into the room including the other mourners who have come to give Chanyeol one final send off. It included a teary-eyed and distraught Kris. He had closed the bakery for the day. There was a notice posted on the shop’s door saying that the bakery was closed as one of its employees had met with an unfortunate incident. Chanyeol’s co-workers at the bakery also came to see him off. The older boys Kikwang, Hyunseung, Himchan, Sunggyu, Woohyun and the staff at Heaven all came. Chanyeol’s friends and schoolmates also arrived. Even Yixing came to say his final goodbye to Chanyeol on hearing the devastating news.

It was time for Chanyeol’s final journey to the crematorium. Baekhyun clutched Chanyeol’s photo as he led the procession. The pallbearers were Sunggyu, Jongin, Himchan, Eunhyuk, Joon-myun and Sehun. However, on the way out, they were stopped by a woman and three thickset looking men with tattoos.

“Stop!” she commanded. “I’m not letting you take Chanyeol anywhere!”

“If you take one more step, I’ll call the police!” she threatened.

The crowd murmured to themselves in surprise wondering who this middle-aged woman was. Baekhyun who was in a trance-like state continued to walk on but was roughed up by one of her minions causing Chanyeol’s photo to drop onto the ground. This woke Baekhyun up from his stupor as he growled, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Baekhyun bent down to pick the fallen photo up but was restrained by one of the men. “How dare you all disrupt my Channie’s funeral?”

The woman stepped forward, bent down and gave Baekhyun a slap against his face. “How dare you? You’re gay bastard.”

With his cheek smarting red, Baekhyun looked up and glared hatefully at the woman. “Who are you?”

Sungmin and Kris quickly rushed to Baekhyun’s side. Sungmin threw a punch at the man as he warned, “Lay off my son!”

Kris tried to get the man off Baekhyun. This caused the other two men joined in the fray, but this caused team Heaven such as Kyungsoo, Woohyun, Hyunseung, Kikwang as well as some of the employees to participate in the scuffle.

“I’m Chanyeol’s mother,” Mrs Park told Baekhyun coolly. “Return my son to me. His body belongs to me. I’m his parent. I have the legal right to claim his body.”

She then tried to reach for Chanyeol’s portrait but Kyuhyun managed to stealthily worm his way and grab Chanyeol’s photo.

“You!” Mrs Park thundered. “They lawyer that made my son turn against me!”

“Long term no see, madam. I see that you’re finally out of prison. Did you enjoy your time in there? How’s Pastor Choi doing? Please send him my regards,” Kyuhyun taunted. 

“You devil! I’m going to make sure you pay for your sins. I’m going to call the police. I’m going to have you charged in court. I’ll make sure you would never practise law ever again!” Mrs Park bristled.

She whipped out her handphone but Kyuhyun remained unfazed as he challenged her, “So what crime are you going to report me for?”

“I’m going to have you up for murder, child abuse and child abduction. You took my son away from me and let him lead a gay life. That’s abuse,” she snarled. “I’m Park Chanyeol’s mother. I have every right to take him away. And I swear I would not anyone of you know where his resting place is. I would not let anyone of you see him again.”

Kyuhyun guffawed. “Who was the one that let Chanyeol get abused by the pastor? It wasn’t me. It was you. And don’t forget, you had disowned Chanyeol. Chanyeol had also testified that he wasn’t willing to return to you and he was placed under my care. So what recourse do you have? You don’t have any right to claim Chanyeol’s body. You’re no longer his mother.”

“If the police knows…” she threatened.

“Stop it!” Baekhyun yelled. “Stop it everyone! He’s not going anywhere. He’s my boyfriend. He’s my family. He’s part of the Heaven family.”

Choking back on his tears and emotion, he pleaded, “Can’t you all let my Channie rest in peace? He’s had a hard life. His mother couldn’t accept that he’s gay. He was sent to a church camp where he was beaten up. And when he came to Heaven, he fell in love with me, but I look such a long time to reciprocate his love, causing him many upsets in the process. And his life just ended so suddenly and cruelly. He wanted to protect me and got killed instead.”

Mrs Park then slapped Baekhyun on his cheek again. “You gay bastard! How dare you taint my son’s name? How dare you turn him into a sinner? You should die instead! You should go to hell! Give my son back to me! You killer! You killed my son! If he didn’t come to Heaven, he wouldn’t have died! Everyone, you be the judge! This bastard here killed my son!”

Kyuhyun was about to intervene when Baekhyun looked up with a death glare at Mrs Park, “If could give my life to have him alive, I would. But do you know something ahjumma? You’re wrong,” he said coolly. “He died because of me. But I didn’t kill Chanyeol. You’re the one who killed Chanyeol. You’re the real murderer.”

“You drove him away by your actions. You couldn’t accept him. You made him undergo traumatic torture. You drove him to Heaven. If you truly loved him and accepted him for who he is, would he end up in Heaven today? Would he end up being killed because of me? No. We wouldn’t have met. And I wish we didn’t meet as long as it means he can still be alive today,” Baekhyun accused. “You’re the killer! You’re the one who stabbed him with the knife and twisted the knife in his heart. Do you know the nightmares he had because of what he had undergone? You murdered his spirit. Your murdered him with your hands when you refused to accept him for who he is. And right now, you come to disrupt his funeral. What kind of mother are you? If you have any sense of decency in you, please be kind to this dead son of yours. Let us finish this funeral in peace. You’re free to attend if you want to as you were his mother, but we won’t force you too.”

This caused Mrs Park to tremble and stumble. She fell onto the ground. Seizing the chance, Kyuhyun quickly instructed everyone to hurry up. They hurried on with the funeral leaving the stunned Mrs Park on the ground, beating her chest, and wailing Chanyeol’s name with regret.

Chanyeol’s classmates shared their fond memories of him during the eulogy. They remembered him as someone who likes to bring joy and laughter to others.

And then it was Joon-myun’s turn to say a few words.

Choking on his tears, Joon-myun stuttered, “We may not have been blood brothers, but Chanyeol, you’re my brother. We may not have been the closest and I might have found you too loud for my liking…and sometimes too slack with your work at Heaven and had reprimanded you about it…but you would always take it good-naturedly.”

Joon-myun began to falter, “Thank you Chanyeol for suggesting that we go out for brunch two weeks ago. We had a great outing despite…I know we mean a lot to you. I know you care a lot for this family in Heaven and you want us to get along with and love one another…I will do that…I’m sorry if I haven’t protected you enough. I’m sorry if I never told you that I love you, dear brother. Rest in peace, Chanyeol. ”

The next person to speak was Baekhyun. He was a picture of calm and steel when he took the microphone.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m not prepared. Channie, I just want to thank you for coming into my life. We’ve had lots of fun and laughter together. I’ll miss you.”

Baekhyun’s voice began to crackle and his tears began to fall. “The house, the room just feels so empty and lifeless without you around.”

“If you have anyone in your life which you have yet to say ‘I love you’ to, please do so. It could be your parents, your siblings, your friends, your lover, or someone you have been in love for a long time but you have not realised your feelings towards the person, or have not had the guts to confess,” Baekhyun continued. “I’m sorry for taking so long to respond to your love. That’s my biggest regret.”

“Yet Channie, you have been very patient with me. You love me so much and have been so generous as to risk your life and losing it for me. Besides thanking you, there’s nothing more I can do for you right now. You’re an optimist. You like to look on the bright side of things as far as possible. Thus I know you wouldn’t want me to sad for my entire life. But please allow me to be sad for a while more. After that, because of you, I’ll try to live well, so that your sacrifice won’t be in vain. I love you Channie.”

Next, it was Kyuhyun to say a few words.

Kyuhyun took a deep breath, paused and then spoke with trembling hands. “The first thought that came to my mind when I learnt about Chanyeol’s death and how it happened was ‘It’s not fair’.”

“I’m sure many of us here today think this way. We are probably asking ourselves ‘Why do bad things happen to good people?’”

“I may have worked on many cases of bad things happening to good people. Yet I’m none the wiser.”

“I first met Chanyeol when he was battered and bruised – not just physically but emotionally. He was abused by a pastor and abetted by his mother. He was abused by the people whom he was supposed to trust. He was rejected by the people whom he was supposed to trust.”

“He was frightened. He had nightmares. He cried in his sleep. But he had help. And he managed to overcome the ordeal.”

“And I admire his strength in wanting to get well which he did. He wanted to put the past behind him. He wanted to be happy. Thus, he created this ‘happy virus’ persona. He wanted to be happy. He wanted the people around him to be happy. I’m sure each one of you here can recall instances of him spreading the joy in your lives. He never failed to enliven the mood in Heaven with his infectious laughter though it could get quite noisy at times.”

With tears b in his eyes, Kyuhyun continued, “He was such a good person. He had so much to live for. He was just cast in a PV for Girls Generation. He might have had his chance in the entertainment industry. So why did such a senseless act of violence befall on him? Why did someone perpetuate such an evil on him? Why did such a bad thing happen to him?”

“Like I’ve said, I’m none the wiser. But what I do know is that Chanyeol would want each and every person gathered here together to be happy. He did not bear any ill will with to the people who subjected him to the torment in church, so I’m sure he wouldn’t feel the same way towards his attackers. The long arm of the law will catch up with them, and will mete out a fair and just punishment towards them.”

“So let us not be sad. Let us be happy. Let us be infected by his virus. Let us celebrate Chanyeol’s life. That’s the best way we can honour him and remember him by.”

The mourners stood up and trying their best to hold back their tears, applauded for Chanyeol.

It was finally time for the cremation. The mourners each took their turn to place a flower on his coffin. Baekhyun by now was a sobbing mess as he touched the casket, calling Chanyeol’s name.

The door to the burner opened and the casket was slowly transported into burner. Kyuhyun and Sungmin restrained Baekhyun as he kicked about calling Chanyeol to open his eyes and get out from the coffin.

The rest of the crowd broke down in tears at the realisation that this was the end for Chanyeol. He would never return to them alive and whole as the sounds of wailing filled the entire room.

“Channie! Channie! Get up and run! The fire is coming for you. Hurry!” Baekhyun yelled.

The door was then shut and the coffin finally disappeared from everybody’s sight. The outpouring of sorrow reached its while Baekhyun fainted from his grief and exhaustion.

Outside the cremation hall, a drizzle started to form. A solitary figure of a woman with a tear-stained face peered nervously and regretfully into the hall to get a glimpse of the proceedings.

She fell to the ground when she saw the door to the burner close.

It was Mrs Park. And she knew that her son wasn’t going to come back to her.

And then it struck her that seeing the crowd gathered, she felt a sense of pride knowing that gay or not gay, her son was a good person, and he had lived his short life well. 

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I know some of you guys were left disappointed, angry and sad over Chanyeol’s death in the last chapter. And no, I would not resurrect him because this would be more absurd than killing him.

But I hope I compensated for what happened in the previous chapter with this chapter in the sense. I know I can’t bring Chanyeol back to life but I hope you guys like this chapter, and see what Chanyeol’s death has achieved. Did anyone expect his mother to make another appearance?

Well, at least Mrs Park had one shot at redemption. I hope you guys would notice how Baekhyun’s character has changed a little through this chapter.

Thanks to everyone who believed in me and still stuck to this story. Thanks for the comments even though sometimes we may not see eye to eye in the comments.

Please continue to show your love and support to the story with your comments and subscriptions. 

The next chapter would be a happier one I hope, before it descends into angst again.

Five to six chapters left. 

Do check out  and comment on my other fan fics if you have not already done so.

My other fan fics

KyuMin: Almost a love story

KyuMin: 60 Days 

It's You (너라고) Neorago (a YeWook fan-fic)