Sehun was in the bedroom he shared with Joon-myun. He was at his desk working on his assignments when he heard the door fling open and shut. Sehun looked up and saw an upset Joon-myun getting onto bed and covering himself with a blanket.

Sehun sighed. He knew Joon-myun was feeling miserable inside, but Joon-myun had almost no one in this family he could confide in or talk to about his problems.

Joon-myun could not talk to their Kyuhyun or Sungmin – no matter how much the older couple was willing to give Joon-myun a listening ear or helpful advice – Joon-myun wanted to be seen as being strong and able to take care of the family – he did not want to look weak in front of Kyuhyun and Sungmin.

Kyungsoo would always give Joon-myun a listening ear or encouraging word when he sees Joon-myun stressed up over work, but when the problem now is Kyungsoo himself – how can Joon-myun even speak to him?

Kai is out of the question. Joon-myun barely knows him, and probably even loathes him.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun – they’re too boisterous and happy-go-lucky for Joon-myun to even approach them.

As for himself, Sehun knew he was too young to interfere in Joon-myun’s affairs, but he wanted to do something for the older boy who cared for him and showed him kindness. Sehun did not love Joon-myun but he respected the older boy. He remembered Joon-myun offering him food when the older boy noticed Sehun shivering from hunger as he (Sehun) recounted his story to Joon-myun for the first time when he said he wanted a job in Heaven.

There was once or twice when Joon-myun bought Sehun’s favourite snacks just for Sehun to stash in the privacy of their rooms. And although Joon-myun prefers the room warm and toasty, he would sometimes let the room remain cool for Sehun’s sake as the latter prefers the cold.

Sehun wanted to do something for Joon-myun – something to help Joon-myun get over Kyungsoo, or at least expand his circle of friends. And Sehun suddenly remembered – Lu Han’s friend – maybe he and Lu Han could fix them up on a date or something.

Sehun reached for his phone and sent a text message to Lu Han.

How are you? Are you busy?

Sehun hummed a tune and tapped his fingers on his desk as he continued to eye his handphone.

But five minutes passed without getting a reply. And Sehun started to feel anxious. He started to fidget in his seat.

Why isn’t Lu Han responding? Is he busy? Doesn’t he like me?

Oh Sehun, why are you behaving like this? It’s not as though Lu Han means anything to you or you mean anything to him? Both of you have just barely known each other. I mean, you don’t even care that those other men you date reply your messages, so why are you so obsessed over one Lu Han?

Sehun pushed his handphone further aside and returned to his assignment, but he was unable to concentrate on his work as he would steal quick glances at the device hoping for it to vibrate or something.

When it finally vibrated a good 10 minutes later, an exasperated Sehun jumped from his seat and with his trembling hands, grabbed his handphone with excitement.

Hi Sehun. Sorry for taking so long to reply to your message. I was a little bit busy. It was great to receive your message. I’m fine. What about you? Busy with your assignments?

Sehun quickly text a reply to Lu Han.

I’m doing fine too. Working on my assignments at the moment. Would you like to go out next Sunday afternoon? I’ll try to get Joon-myun hyung along and you can bring the friend that likes Joon-myun along with you along. We’ll meet for a drink together and we can move off somewhere and leave those two by themselves for a while.

Lu Han’s reply came pretty fast.

Wow. That’s so abrupt. Is there anything wrong Sehun? Did something happen? Alright, I’ll ask Yixing about it. But it shouldn’t be a problem. J

Well, Joon-myun hyung is having a bit of difficult time right now. I would like to do something for him. Getting him to socialise a bit.

I understand. But would it end up hurting Yixing?

It wouldn’t. I promise.

Are you certain? Yixing is a nice person and he’s my close friend. I don’t want to see him getting hurt.

He won’t. Joon-myun hyung is a nice guy too. Even though he is going through a rough patch now, he’s still very much a nice guy.

I take your word. I’ll ask Yixing about it and I’ll let you know.

Sure. Thanks.

See you soon, Sehun.

See you too Lu Han, Sehun as he typed the message with a smile on his face.

……

“Kai, will you be free tomorrow afternoon?” Kyungsoo asked.

Jongin thought for a while. “I don’t have anything after school tomorrow. What do you want to do?”

“Would you be able to accompany somewhere? It might take a few hours of your time though. If you can’t, I understand.”

Jongin nodded. “I’ll be glad to accompany you.

Kyungsoo smiled gratefully at Jongin. “Thanks. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you at three tomorrow outside your school.”

“Ok.”

……

“Kyungsoo hyung! Kyungsoo hyung!” Jongin shouted as his waved his hands excitedly while running towards the older boy who was loitering outside Jongin’s school gate.

“Did I make you wait for long?” Jongin asked while trying to catch his breath. “It’s the teacher’s fault. She was nagging at us.”

“No worries, Kai. You don’t have to apologise,” Kyungsoo said.

“Why did you bring flowers? Are those lilies?” Jongin asked all wide-eyed as he noticed a small bouquet of white lilies in Kyungsoo’s hand.”

Kyungsoo nodded. “I need the flowers later.”

“When do we use lilies? I know this. I just can’t remember,” Jongin muttered to himself. “Don’t tell me…” 

“Kai, why are you talking to yourself?”

“Hyung, what’s with those lilies? Are you planning on doing something stupid?” Jongin gushed out.

Kyungsoo forced a smile. “No, I’m not. Don’t worry. Haven’t I promised appa, umma, and you that I won’t do anything rash and stupid? Have you eaten? If not, let’s grab something to eat first.”

Jongin nodded.

……

“Hyung, why are we here?” Jongin asked, even though he was able to figure the reason as they began to walk into the columbaria.  

“To visit Jino,” Kyungsoo replied calmly.

“Uh…” Jongin replied.

Even though it was a bright and sunny afternoon, Jongin shuddered as he walked next to Kyungsoo in the open-air columbaria. The place was quiet with only a living soul or two in sight. Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand for assurance as his imagination started to run wild.

Will a ghost pop out suddenly? It’s daylight. Ghosts are scared of light, aren’t they?

And just then Jongin remembered a television serial which he had seen when he was younger – Mianhada, Saranghanda/MiSa [I’m Sorry, I Love You] whereby the lead female character committed suicide at the grave of the man she loved. Jongin turned to look at Kyungsoo who seemed to look peaceful and in a good mood. Jongin started to worry.

Is Kyungsoo hyung thinking of committing suicide in front of Jino’s niche by drinking poison? No way, he’s going to do that, right? Should I call Joon-myun hyung? Maybe not. He would get into a fit. Perhaps I should call appa or umma instead.

“Hyung,” Jongin blurted out. “Are you sure you’re not doing anything stupid?”

Just then Kyungsoo stopped in his tracks and said dryly, “We’re here.”

“Hyung, answer me. Are you planning on doing anything stupid?” Jongin pleaded anxiously.

“If I plan to, would I even tell you? I wouldn’t want you to stop me,” Kyungsoo replied collectedly.

Feeling alarmed and paranoid at Kyungsoo’s somewhat composed response, Jongin hurriedly broke free of his grasp on Kyungsoo’s hand, and suddenly hugged Kyungsoo from behind; his arms wrapping round Kyungsoo’s waist causing the older boy to widen his eyes in shock.

“K…Ka…Kai…” Kyungsoo spluttered. “What are you doing?”

But Jongin’s grip on Kyungsoo only tightened.

“I’m not going to let you do it!” Jongin exclaimed.

“Do what?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Commit suicide by taking poison. I won’t let you die. I’m not going watch you die. If you’re going to die, I will follow you. I will follow you even to hell to bring you back. I’m not going to lose you. I won’t let myself lose you,” Jongin asserted as his eyes started to get wet.

“Kai, I’m not going to kill myself,” Kyungsoo assured. “Where did you get this idea from?”

“You were…going to take poison just like the female protagonist in Mianhada, Saranghanda did…”

“Kai, I’m not. I’ve thought it over. Dying is not what he wants from me. So you can relax.”

“Really?” Jongin questioned as he relaxed his grip a little.

“Really,” Kyungsoo replied.

Feeling confident by Kyungsoo’s assurance, Jongin let go Kyungsoo, stepping forward to stand next to Kyungsoo.

“Kai, this is Jino,” Kyungsoo said as he pointed to Jino’s niche.

Jongin studied the small photo that adored the niche. It was that of a smiley, pleasant looking teenager who seemed a little shy.

Kyungsoo placed the small bouquet of flowers on the niche as he removed a previous bouquet of flowers that were drying out which was probably placed a few days earlier by Jino’s family.

“Jino, this is Kai,” Kyungsoo muttered as he touched Jino’s photo tenderly and lovingly.

“I’m sorry for visiting you so late this year,” Kyungsoo said emotionally as a tear rolled down his eyes. Sensing Kyungsoo’s sadness, Jongin extended his hand to take hold of Kyungsoo’s hand.

“Jino-ah, I’m sorry. I was wrong. I know I apologise for causing your death every time I visit, but this time round, I’m really sorry for not cherishing what you had done for me. I’m sorry for wanting to seek death. I’m sorry for twisting you into a hideous monster out to exact vengeance on me because of my own guilt. I know you loved me to give your life up for me, yet I…”

Kyungsoo began to choke under his emotions and tears.

“I lived like this…”

“I’m sorry for the quarrel we had before you died. I’m sorry for not apologising to you while you were still alive. Those words I said, I don’t mean it.”

“He knows,” Jongin comforted Kyungsoo.

“Jino-ah, I’m going to live my life well. I promise you. I’ll walk out of this darkness,” Kyungsoo pledged.

“I’m sure Jino would be happy and relieved to hear that. And Jino-ssi, please rest assured that I’ll help Kyungsoo hyung, so please watch over and him and protect him so that he doesn’t do something stupid again,” Jongin said.  

“Jino-ah, I love you. But I guess I need to start letting go. I’ll have you always in my memories. Will you forgive me if I have to let go of you?”

And as though Jino heard and in response Kyungsoo’s words, a gentle breeze kissed Kyungsoo and Jongin on their skin as Kyungsoo shed tears of happiness and relief after a while.

……

“There’s still one more place I want to go,” Kyungsoo said as he bought a watermelon from a fruit shop.

“Where?”

“I want to visit Jino’s mother,” Kyungsoo said.

……

Jino’s mother welcomed the two boys into the apartment with a smile. Kyungsoo introduced Jongin as a friend. The older lady was hospitable and brought out some drinks and snacks for the two teenagers.

“Kyungsoo-ah, it’s so nice of you to visit me. I appreciate it very much. How are you getting along?” Mrs Cho asked.

“I’m fine. I’ve been going through a rough patch, but I believe that it will be sorted out in time to come,” Kyungsoo replied politely. “What about you?”

Mrs Cho managed to squeeze a smile, but both boys knew that she was hurting deep inside. “I guess time will heal all wounds. But there’s still this little void after his passing that it’s hard to fill.”

Kyungsoo nodded in agreement.

“But I’m slowly learning to let go. And Kyungsoo-ah, you should start letting go,” Mrs Cho advised.

“I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For causing your son’s death. If it wasn’t for me…he wouldn’t have…I took him away from you…”

“I know. He wanted to save you, But Kyungsoo-ah, I don’t blame you. Not anymore. I might have initially, but now I don’t. I lost a son. You’ve lost a friend. We’ve both lost someone dear to us. We’re all equally hurt, but I know that you’re probably hurting more because of the guilt you weighed on yourself for his death,” Mrs Cho said empathetically.

“Don’t you hate me? How can you forgive me?” Kyungsoo asked.

“What good would it do for you or me? It would lead only to misery,” Mrs Cho replied.  

“I might feel better if you blame me,” Kyungsoo said.

“Don’t be silly, my child. Jinho wouldn’t have wanted me to do that. The fact he gave up his life for you showed how important you were to him. It’s not easy to do that…to risk your life for someone else…not even for someone you care about. I might not be able to do that if I were him. It was his choice. I can’t blame anyone for that,” she said as a tear started to trickle down her cheek. “Jinho is a brave child. He’s a hero. I’m proud of him.”

Mrs Cho broke into a smile.

“But…but…you don’t know everything…” Kyungsoo sobbed. “I didn’t listen to him. I insisted on going into the sea. I…why don’t you scream and shout at me? Why aren’t you cursing at me? Why don’t you hate me? Why are you being so nice?”

“My child, because one life has already been lost. I don’t want another life to be lost. You’re not a bad boy. You had no bad intention in wanting this to happen. So you should free yourself from your guilt and live. If you feel sorry towards me, then live well. That’s what you can do for Jinho and me. So that his life won’t be wasted in vain. You can visit me every now and then. You can bring a friend or friends along like today,” Mrs Cho said gently as she patted Kyungsoo’s back. 

“I…I…I don’t know what to say,” Kyungsoo stuttered.

“Just say you’ll forgive yourself and live well,” Mrs Cho smiled.

“That’s right, Kyungsoo hyung. You should listen to ahjumeoni,” Jongin encouraged.

“Thank you, thank you,” Kyungsoo cried.

……

That night, Kyungsoo took his medicine before he slept with Jongin snuggled in bed next to him. And he had a good and peaceful rest until morning.   

And Jino was in his dreams. Jino was singing as he walked off the stage towards Kyungsoo who stood in the crowd and enjoying the music.

And when Jino finished his song, he smiled at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo felt himself smiling back at Jino.

“Yes, that’s right, Kyungsoo-ah. That’s right. Remember me this way.” 

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Hope you guys enjoyed the KaiSoo moments in this chapter. I hope you think that they were cute together, especially for Kai, who was hugging Kyungsoo and fearing Kyungsoo would do something silly. 

And I did watch that show which Kai watched. The last scene did show the female protagonist commit suicide. 

Sorry that the HunHan moments in this chapter is a bit little...and more of like a message kind of exchange. I still hope you like it though.

Meanwhile please do continue to leave your comments for me. They make be happy. More subscribers are also appreciated.

Anyway I'm glad we all survived 21 Dec 2012 as of now. And I wish everyone a Merry Christmas in advance. 

Do check out  and comment on my other fan fics if you have not already done so.

My other fan fics

KyuMin: Almost a love story

KyuMin: 60 Days 

It's You (너라고) Neorago (a YeWook fan-fic)