In that moment it seemed that the world paused. My thoughts rambled together and lost sense. I just blinked at Taemin in front of me, that didn’t look away from my gaze.

I tried to clean up my thoughts like my mum once told me to do.

1.      Taemin was in love with me.

2.      Taemin was in love with me!

3.      Taemin was in love with ME!!!

“Y-you are?” I stuttered. My question was ridiculous. Of course he was if he said so.

“Do you really think I would joke about that?” Taemin asked me with raised brows. His normal happy I’m-so-super-doped attitude was gone. His mouth was a straight line, waiting for my reaction.

Automatically I scooted away from him. Taemin’s face looked so hurt. I didn’t mean to be rude, I just… I didn’t feel anything like that for Taemin.

He was my friend, maybe even best friend. But nothing more than that. I was with Onew.

Taemin swallowed and made a short nod. “I understand”, he said. He turned around and started to walk away from me.

My hand caught his sleeve. “Don’t leave, Taemin”, I begged him.

Taemin stopped walking. When he looked at me, his eyes were so dark. He looked angry. Angry at me, angry at himself.

“Why? Why shouldn’t I leave?” He asked me through gritted teeth. “There is no one for me here, so it’s probably best I disappear.”

Technically he was talking about leaving the cinema but I knew it reached deeper. He was hurt and couldn’t see how much we all cared about him.

“We all care about you, Taemin”, I said. Taemin snorted and rolled his eyes. “The annoying maknae who never understands anything. The only thing he can be used as is at dancing. Yeah, sure I’m loveable”, he sarcastically said.

“No Taemi you don’t-“

Taemin cut my words off. “Don’t get started Min. I know what you feel about me. I’m just your pathetic friend who hopelessly have fallen in love with one who considers me as garbage”, Taemin bitterly said. He looked at the ground. “Just like everybody else”, he quietly muttered.

I couldn’t stand seeing Taemin feeling so god damn sorry for himself. He was loved. He had the 4 greatest best friends imaginable. Jonghyun might ignore him sometimes, Onew stop paying attention to him, Key nagging at him and Minho… Well Minho was always there for Taemin. They all were. All his family were alive, he had talent, girls turned around in the streets just to look at him.

“I love you Taemin!” I shouted. Taemin abruptly looked up at me and widened his eyes. I quickly continued before he got the wrong meaning of my words.

“Shinee loves you! Your family loves you! Life loves you! You might feel like we’re all treating you like a baby. And we do. But it’s because you’re so god damn important to all of us. We are so terrified that you might hurt yourself, get your hands burned, that we would do anything to avoid it. If you can’t see that, you should open your eyes up.”

Taemin’s eyebrows only grew deeper in his face. The frown was undeletable.

“You don’t love me”, he whispered. “No one does. I might as well die.”

Suddenly I got so mad at Taemin. Who the hell was he to stand here, feeling sorry for himself when people around him loved him so much?

“Taemin”, I started , trying not to sound to mad at him. “People are starving. Kids are seeing their parents die. Women are losing their husbands to war. And you? You stand here, blubbering, because I won’t kiss you.”

I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice. I started to shout. “You should open your eyes, Taemin! People love you!”

Taemin shook his head. “Bullucks”, he said in British English.

I took a deep breath and tried to get myself under control. I couldn’t let the anger reach me. I should comfort Taemin in a situation like this. Not be yelling at him.

“Taemin please listen-“

I stopped my words and looked at Taemin’s raised middle figner pointing at me. “ you”, he said. “ all of you.”

With that he walked away from me. In the door he stopped. “Greet Shinee from me and say you to them too.”

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Sorry for not updating… I’ve been busy with my new fic so I forgot about this… Yeah, not okay -.- But I’ll try to update more often. :)