(A/N: The surgery and all the medical facts are COMPLETELY made up. I don’t know a sausage about surgery so just to avoid misunderstandings.. :-))

Min returned to live with me and Shinee. As Min said herself, Hae-Won was a mess. Hae-Won was so nervous of the ending result. Instead of showing it, she nagged on Min. More than she used to. Min had nicely told Hae-Won that she was staying at our place, and surprisingly Hae-Won approved. Since our conversation in their garden, where Hae-Won told me she was disappointed in me and told me I wasn’t a good guy, it actually seemed like she had decided I was a good guy anyway.

The reason to Hae-Won’s many worries except for the result was the recent details we received from the sergeants. The annoying man just “forgot” to tell us that the surgery would last from 8 to 10 hours. For that long Min would be in a general anesthesia.  There was a tiny but still existing risk that she would not wake up again because it was for so long.

As the days passed by, I could feel that Min was getting more and more nervous herself. At first it was just small signs there showed that she wasn’t as tough about the surgery as she claimed. I could find her searching on Google about how many people didn’t wake up from general anesthesia and the other side effects of it.

Later on she got more and more frustrated. Every time someone brought up the topic she would disappear from the real world and a deep frown would form on her face. Sometimes when I returned from my schedule I would find her just walking back on forth in her apartment with a worried facial expression on her face.

When I tried to talk to her about why she was so worried she went completely silent and refused to talk with me. If I made Jonghyun ask her she denied that she was scared and continued to act tough. If Minho went to talk to her, she pretended she was asleep. If Taemin asked her, she would distract him by saying something funny or threating him banana milk. If Key asked her, she pulled on the same scene as on me. Even his best umma-tricks didn’t work on her.

Even after several failed attempts to make her speak about her feeling, I still didn’t give up. It was very important to me that she knew she could tell me anything. I didn’t want to end up like those old couples there have nothing to talk about when their kids leave them because they never opened up to each other. Besides she needed to talk with somebody about the surgery, she wasn’t supposed to carry all of the weight herself.

In another attempt I knocked on the door to my own room where Min seemed to hide from us. It was late night and Min was almost sleeping on my bed. I smiled at how cute she looked when she was relaxing.

“Min?” I asked her and wiped a little hair lock away from her face. “Hm?” She mumbled and turned her head to me. “Were you sleeping?” I asked her. Min shook her head. “I can’t”, she mumbled.

“Why not?” I asked her even though I knew the answer, she was thinking about the surgery. But maybe if I did it the unknowing way she would talk to me.

Instead of opening up, Min shrug her shoulders. I sighed. Min “looked” at me in confusion. “Why are you sighing?” She asked as she had no idea about how frustrating it was that my girlfriend wouldn’t open up to me.

Instead of answering her question I laid down beside her on my bed. “Min, tell me what’s going on in your mind. It’s killing me that you won’t talk to me about it”, I said.

Min was silent for a long while. But her head was still in my direction so I knew she wasn’t escaping my question this time.

 “You will be there for the surgery, right?” She asked me.

*Of course I will.* That’s what I wanted to say but instead the words stuck inside me. My throat turned into a knot.

“Please?” Her voice was begging and childish and close to cracking. 

I finally managed to get words out of my knotted throat. “I’ll be there right till you sleep”, I answered.

“I’m going to sleep?” Min asked.

“Yes just like now. And when you wake up again you will be able to see. You can see the Christmas snow, the looming flowers, the sunset and--“ I never got to continue before Min interrupted.

“And you!” She said happily with the thought. I nodded and smiled. I pressed her body against mine. We laid like that for a moment. Her breathing was calm and heavy. For a moment I thought she was asleep. But she wasn't.

“What happens when you die?” She whispered as she was ashamed she even thinking about it.

Her words cut in me like a knife. I couldn’t answer. It’s like in that exact moment I realized that there’s a chance Min might die. Be gone forever. I had been so busy figuring out how to get Min tell her thoughts to me, that I had forgot to realize the reality myself.

“Do you think it’s like The Sleeping Beauty?” Min asked as she was just a little girl with naïve dreams. Maybe in this moment it was important for her to still have naïve dreams.

There was no sight of tears in Min’s voice. It was only me there felt like each word she said pierced my heart.

“I don’t know what happens when you die. But it’s not like The Sleeping Beauty, there slept for hundred years because she woke up again. Like when you’re getting a surgery. You wake up again”, I said and decided to make my answer a little milder.

“I won’t die”, Min said as her words would decide the future. I didn’t contradict her. Instead I wrapped my arms around her and felt her heartbeat against my chest. When her breathing became calm again, I bent down and kissed her lips goodnight. Min closed her eyes and soon she was in wonderland.

“I’m going to sleep?” Her voice echoed in my head.

My feet ran towards the bathroom. My knuckles got white around the WC board. I flushed and flushed until it seemed that all my stomach was on the bottom of the toilet. But the voice didn’t disappear.

There wasn't more to throw up, my heart beat and my body hurted.

“There’s a risk that she won’t wake up again.”

I covered my ears, I wanted the voice to go away, but it kept on going. Everything turned into a chaos of voices. In pure panic I let out a high frustrated scream.

“Onew what’s going on?” Minho’s voice asked me.

I tried to gather all of my saliva to make it possible for me to say something. My mouth were dry as a desert.

Minho saw me on the floor infront of the toilet and the rushed to me. He bent down beside me.

“Onew, what happened?”

I didn’t answer. I couldn't.

“Onew, you need to say something," Minho's deep voice begged me.

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Incase you’re wondering, yes Onew was throwing up. Ew. I feel bad for making him do that :-/ Whaa! :’(

Thank you for reading. I love you! <3

here's someting Onew never will puke over! ;-D