Life went on.

If it weren't for Kibum, life might've stopped right there for you, but Kibum was your shoulder to lean on, your shield to protect you from the world, and though he returned to filming soon, you found other ways to keep going--because of Kibum. Most of all, you visited Heechul's grave more often, at least once or twice a week.

Most people would find it very unhealthy for a living person to spend so much time among the dead, but for you, it was the start of a healing process. You had spent two long painful years in silent grief, and now you found you could face your sorrow and regrets, starting by talking to Heechul.

You kneeled near his headstone, running your hand absentmindedly over the grass that had sprouted above his grave. "Chullie, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for treating you like that. I wish we could've had a second chance…"

You looked up at the sky, not seeing the clouds that drifted across your vision. Instead, you could almost see his face, his cheeky smile. You couldn't imagine his voice though—couldn't imagine his voice telling you that he forgave you, because you couldn't imagine being forgivable.

"Maybe one day," you whispered, placing a kiss on your hand then brushing your fingers across the spot where his name was engraved. You got up and brushed yourself off and walked away, your hand in your purse, your fingers settling against the worn pages of his letter that was tucked deep in your bag, like it always was.

And when you weren't at Heechul's grave, or on the phone with Kibum, you were with Hyukjae, watching him in his dance rehearsals. He made you happier than nearly any other man had, even when you had to watch him dance with the likes of Kwon Boa.

And boy, did Boa try her best to come between you two. Every dirty trick in the book was played on Hyukjae.

"Hyukjae-yah, do you think I'm moving my hips right?"

"Hyukjae, do you think my outfit's too tight for dancing?"

"Are you busy tonight, Hyukjae, or can we practice together?"

Right in front of you, all day every day. If it weren't for Hyukjae's reassurances, you would've exploded, or worse--made her explode.

As he walked you back to your dorm after rehearsals, he would tell you, "You know I really, really like you, right?"

You would smile at him and lace your fingers between his, "I know."

"I really like you a lot. I like talking with you, I like dancing for you, I like when we sit down for coffee and try every item on the menu…and I reallly like kissing you."

He would over, stopping you in your tracks and place a soft kiss on your lips, on your cheek, on your forehead, then sneak a sly kiss on your neck.

Sometimes you would push him away, and ask with a crease furrowing your eyebrows, "What about Kwon Boa?"

"Kwon who?"

You would slap his arm playfully, "The one who nearly had you drooling when you met!"

"Oh, her?" Hyukjae would wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you extra close. "It was a slight moment of being star-struck. When you get to know her, she isn't that great. Did you see how weird she was acting today?"

And you would laugh and lean against him, continuing your peaceful walk home with him, joking and poking fun at the way Boa would desperately throw herself at Hyukjae—and Hyukjae would join in just as eagerly.

Hyukjae was a comfort. He was warm and romantic and silly and y all at once, and it made you forget. It wasn't the same as talking to Kibum—other people just couldn't understand what it felt like to lose Heechul—but he tried his best to do what he could, and he was always willing to let you cry after a particularly painful visit to Heechul's grave.

Sometimes, you would pull out Heechul's letter and list and read his words—which you memorized long ago—and wonder if Hyukjae was the kind of guy Heechul would want for you. More than once, you considered taking Hyukjae to visit Heechul's grave with you, but in the end you always backed out of asking him. It was still a sore spot, your biggest regret and the saddest moment in life and you weren't quite ready to share it. Somehow, it didn't feel right bringing Hyukjae there.

~*~

Meanwhile, Kibum's drama was skyrocketing to amazing heights of popularity. For a drama that starred a rookie actor, the ratings were very high. Sure, Yoona's fans drew up quite a majority of the audience, but many of the comments on the drama's forum centered around the talented and handsome lead actor, Kim Kibum.

He's so cute…where did he come from and where can I find one?

Kim Kibum is going to be more popular than Won Bin one day~

His character is my favorite ^^

I hope he goes on some varieties soon!!

Kibum didn't spend much time reading the feedback; he was just pleased that the overall reaction to his performance was so positive.

"Hyung, did you really watch last night's episode?"

Han Geng smiled on the other side of the line. "Of course I did! I always do."

"What'd you think?" Kibum asked, fighting to keep the anxiety out of his voice. Han Geng was practically his older brother now, and he was especially important to Kibum since he had been Heechul's absolute best friend. He never told Han Geng, but his opinion mattered more to him than anyone else's—except for maybe _____'s.

"Absolutely fantastic," Han Geng affirmed. "I taught you well, didn't I?"

Kibum rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop feeling pleased. "Yeah, right, it was all you," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Geng laughed, leaning back into his chair, holding his phone close. "In all seriousness, I'm so proud of you, Kibum. I know Heechul would be too. He would probably be personally offended that you've gotten so good at acting."

Kibum smiled, remembering how competitive his older brother would get. "Yeah, he would've."

Han Geng was smiling back in his office at SNU as well, but his smile was a lot more sad. He rested his gaze on a framed picture sitting at his desk. Heechul had his arms around Han Geng's neck, as if he were trying to strangle him, but both their smiles were wide, laughs echoing on their faces. Kibum had taken their picture when they had graduated from college together. Han Geng, much like _____, struggled with Heechul's death.

"I have to go now, Kibum-ah," he said.

"Alright. I'll call you later, hyung."

They hung up, and Geng picked up the picture and packed it into his suitcase, giving his old friend one last sad smile.