Before you even knew it, the month of June flew by. It was early July and the weather was perfect—hot but not humid quite yet, plenty of sun, and just enough breeze. 
            But despite its cheery weather, July was an unhappy month; actually, most of the warm months were unhappy, July and August. They were months of suffering—at least for you.
            They always had been, for the past two years.
            You tossed and turned late one night, and not because of the heat. 
            "I love the summer," he said, tilting his head back, lazing about in the sun like a cat. "Don't you?"
            "It's alright," you said with a smile. You didn't care either way, but you liked seeing him happy. You liked seeing him like this.
            He opened his eyes and turned to you with a dazzling smile. "I've been thinking…let's run away. Just you and me—the weather is perfect for running away. Nothing could go wrong."
            You his cheek with your hand, reaching further to gently comb his hair back, feeling him move his head to fit into your hand. "Our parents would kill us."
            He pouted, kissing your palm for a moment before grabbing you and pulling you into his arms.
            "You're awfully cuddly today," you remarked, secretly pleased.
            "Let's run away," he mumbled into your hair, ignoring your teasing. "Before you get too busy in college for me."
            "Is that what this is about?" you asked. "I would never, ever be too busy for you. You're the one that's going to be too busy for me, Mr. Bigshot Actor!"
            "Never," he replied. "I would never be too busy for you."
            You woke up, not sweating or screaming for once, but the dull ache in your heart remained the same.
            "Kibum…Kibum," you muttered shuffling around for your handphone. You dialed his number automatically.
            He didn't pick up. You rambled into his voicemail without even realizing what you were doing. "It's that time of year again, Bum. Oh, god, it hurts so much I feel like I'm going to die. Kibum—" your voice caught in your throat.
            You realized what you had done. Reality hit you hard—who knew what he was doing, where he was, whom he was with. It was way past midnight; he was probably sleeping or filming or spending his time with his friends…or with a girl.
            "S-sorry," you stuttered into the phone "I know it's late. I just…I didn't know who else to call. Sorry again," you added before hanging up.
            You threw your face into you pillow, feeling trapped and alone while the sounds of Song Qian sleeping soundly mocked you.

                                                                                                             ~*~

            "Morning," Hyukjae greeted you warmly, pressing a cup of coffee—made just the way you like it—into your hand. 
            "For me, again?" you said, surprised. "You have to stop giving me free coffee. Kyuhyun's mom is going to get mad!"
            "It's not free," Hyukjae said with a grin. "It's my treat. Especially since you look like you barely got any sleep."
            "Hyukjae—!"
            "No, no, no," he interrupted, shaking his hear resolutely. "There's nothing you can do. You're my girlfriend and I'm going to spoil you, even if it's only with coffee."
            The words unsettled you somehow, but you smiled at Hyukjae anyway. He honestly tried so hard. 
            Kyuhyun clucked in disapproval as he brushed past, schoolbooks in hand. "Out of all the people you could've had, you choose Hyukjae hyung."
            "Who else could I pick?" you shot back automatically. "You, with your over-inflated ego?"
            Kyuhyun just chuckled. He said over his shoulder as he left Kona, "Well played, _____, well played."
            You shook your head while Hyukjae chuckled. "Kyuhyun is a good kid."
            You looked at him in disbelief. "Seriously?"
            "He is," Hyukjae insisted. "Just...rude."
            You laughed. "Well, I have to get to class."
            "Thanks for stopping by. It was great seeing you," he flashed his gummy smile. He grabbed you suddenly and kissed your cheek over the counter. "You really do look tired. Sleep early tonight, okay? I'll call you."
            You bit your lip and smiled at him. He was so sweet; none of your boyfriends had ever been this sweet, not Henry, not even him. The thought of him clouded over your mind instantly, settling over your thoughts and raining down sadness over your heart. It was so hard dealing with everything this time o year. You turned away from Hyukjae quickly to hide your expression, but just when you were about to leave Jungsu's mother came scurrying up to you.

            "_____-ah, wait!"
            You turned around in surprise and bowed politely. 
            She smiled at you. She wasn't as warm as Kyuhyun's mom, didn't have as much aegyo as Sungmin's mom, but she was just as kind-hearted. She lowered her voice as she confided in you, "It was my son's 25th birthday last week. We didn't get to celebrate in time, but since Kona's doing well recently and since he's been working hard here, I wanted to give him a surprise. Will you come?"
            "Of course!" you said, upset over your thoughts about him but still trying hard to be polite to Jungsu’s mother. "What day?"
            "July 12," she said, clearly excited.
            Your heart clenched. "Sounds great," you managed to choke out.
            "Thank you," she said with a genuine smile. "You've been such a loyal customer for so long, and you've gotten so close with our boys and you've been so good to Kyuhyun—can you believe he's singing at Seoul National University now?—and you're dating our Hyukjae; you're practically family by now."
            "Oh no, Park sajangnim," you said, embarrassed. "I haven't done that much."
            "Call me ummeoni," she reprimanded gently. "And don't be silly; you've done all that and more for our little family. We'd be delighted to have you at Jungsu's birthday."
            "T-thank you," you mumbled, bowing again, touched.
            Hyukjae watched the entire thing from the corner of his eye, smiling to himself.

                                                                                                             ~*~

            Kibum zipped up his backpack, scanning his hotel room one last time to make sure he wasn't missing anything important.
            "You're really going, huh?" Yoona said sadly, watching him from her spot on the edge of Kibum's bed.
            "Just for the weekend, Yoona," he said with a small smile. "I need to go home and take care of some things. I'll be back to continue filming soon."
            "Still," she sighed. "The set won't be the same without you."
            "I'll be back soon," he promised, grabbing his bag as he dashed out the door. "I would never abandon the show."
            Yoona watched him go in silence, suppressing every word she wanted to say, every feeling she left unsettled.
            You don't even see me. You never see me anymore, not even when I'm sitting right in front of you.

                                                                                                           ~*~

            "So you won't come?" you asked, a little disappointed.
            "I can't," he said with a chuckle on the other side of the phone. "I wasn't invited."
            "I'm inviting you," you protested half-heartedly.
            "_____, it's really okay. Don't feel bad. They seem like great guys, but I'm not really close with them. Besides, we can hang out another day."
            "I'm sorry," you sighed. "I promise I'll find another day for us to hang out."
            "It's fine," he laughed benignly. "Really."
            "Alright. I'm hanging up first," you said. 
            "Bye, ____."
            "Bye, Siwon oppa."
            You stashed your handphone and grabbed a cart when you felt a hand on the small of your back. You turned and locked eyes with none other than Hyukjae.
            "Hey, you," he said pressing a kiss to your cheek. "You ready to get some groceries?"
            You laughed and said, "As ready as I'll ever be."
            He took the cart from you and let you lead the way to the baking aisle. Hyukjae had wanted to go on a date with you, but you wanted to bake something for Jungsu's party—which was tomorrow—so you both decided that your date would be spent baking together. He admired your form as you flitted down the aisle, picking out everything you would need for Jungsu's present. 
            "Do you like chocolate or vanilla?" you asked. 
            He smiled at your innocent question, watching your hair cascade down your back as you turned to face him. "Isn't this present for Jungsu, not me?"
            "Well, we could make something a little extra for you," you hinted playfully. 
            "In that case," he said, coming up to your side and kissing the top of your head. "I am a bit fond of strawberry."
            "Strawberry it is," you said, tossing more ingredients into the cart. Hyukjae disappeared for a moment while you double-checked your list, making sure you had everything you needed. He came back a moment later, carrying a dumpling sample on a toothpick and blowing gently on it to cool it. 
            "Say ah," he said holding it. He fed it to you and watched as you smiled. 
            "Yum!" 
            "Glad you liked it," he grinned. "Anyway, you ready to pay up?"
            At the register, Hyukjae insisted on paying for everything though you grabbed his arm to try and stop him. 
            "Hyukjae oppa, you can't actually pay for all this."
            "Why not?"
            "Because! It's too much!"
            "____," he said patiently. "This is our first date, so there’s no way I will let you pay for anything." Those words…something about them brought the list into your mind. Struck by how he seemed to fit every requirement on the list so far, you stepped back and let him pay.
            Still, you couldn’t help but watch somewhat helplessly as the cashier scanned every single item in the cart, raising the total price won by won. Hyukjae refused to let you remove anything either. You could only rail at him playfully for being so stubborn. 
            "My treat," Hyukjae repeated, smiling innocently as he drove you back to his apartment. 
            "Jerk," you mumbled, not really meaning it. Truth is, you were a bit keyed up at the thought of going to his apartment. It wasn't like you could bake at your own dorm, but you had never been in another guy's apartment besides Kibum's and his.
            When you finally arrived, Hyukjae held open the door for you, not allowing you to carry any of the groceries, either. 
            "You're spoiling me rotten," you chided him.
            "But it's so much fun," Hyukjae said brightly. He led you into his apartment, shutting the front door with his foot. "I know it's not much…but it's alright. I'll be able to afford better one day."
            He glanced at you, anxiously waiting for your reaction.
            "Do you have a bed?"
            "…Yeah."
            "Do you have a bathroom?"
            "It's a bit cramped, but yeah."
            "Can I bake here?"
            "I mean, my kitchen's pretty old, but it's possible."
            You smiled warmly at him. "Then it's good enough for me."
            Hyukjae felt like his heart would burst. How could one girl be so perfect?

                                                                                                             ~*~
 

            Kibum checked his phone again as he sat on the bus to Seoul. Sadly, no one was funding his trip back to Seoul, so he had to scrap up some of his own money and buy a series of bus tickets there and back. However, the director was understanding—it was that time of year again, so he could get away and see _____ and demand why you hadn't responded to his letter.
            What was that? A voicemail from _____? He listened to it immediately, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
            She didn't say a single thing about his letter or its contents. She just talked about him, then got flustered and hung up.
            Kibum was worried about you. He knew this was a difficult time for you, as equally if not more difficult than it was for him, but that was why he was coming home. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel his heart twist at the thought of reading your letter and ignoring him.
            But right now, he knew you needed him more than ever, and he was going to be there, even if he had to put his feelings, his dream, his job, Yoona— everything—on hold.

                                                                                                             ~*~

            "You look great," you smiled at Hyukjae, reaching over to smooth his shirt.
He shivered underneath your fingertips, relishing the feeling of your hands on his chest. You noticed and smiled softly to yourself. He liked you so much and you could tell and, honestly, though it was scary, it pleased and comforted you. You wondered if it would feel the same for you if he touched you like that.
            No need to wonder—Hyukjae slipped his arms around your waist and placed a quick kiss on your lips. "You look better than great."
            He stepped away, enjoying the blush that tainted your cheeks and grabbed your hand, saying excitedly, "Let's get going—I want to eat that cake!"
            You laughed, heart still unsteady from his little kiss, and intertwined your fingers with his. "You already ate the entire strawberry cake I made you!"
            "And I'm still hungry," he whined.
            "You're insatiable," you shook your head, shutting the lights to your dorm as you stepped out.
            Hyukjae stopped. "In more ways than one," he told you with a wink.
            "Yah!"
 

                                                                                                             ~*~
 

            It was dark by the time Kibum got to SNU. He checked his phone again, sighing when he saw how late it was. Securing his bag more tightly to his back, he headed straight for your dorm. If you weren't there, he would try his own apartment. Then Kona Beans. He would check every one of your favorite spots until he found you.
 

                                                                                                             ~*~
 

            Midnight struck at Kona Beans. Hyukjae leaned over to kiss the top of your drooping head, chuckling as you leaned into his chest. Jungsu was red-faced and clearly very drunk, having the time of his life belting out some old trot song as the other boys egged him on and secretly video-taped him.
            "That's just cruel," Hyukjae said quietly to you, grinning widely.
            "Mmm," you said, snuggling your head against the firm muscles of his chest. "Poor Jungsu oppa is not going to remember a single thing."
            "At least he'll have the videos to remind him."
            You laughed softly, and Hyukae kissed you again. You liked his kisses—they were soft and full of emotion and they made you tingle just a bit. 
            "I'm glad you're here," he murmured.
            "Of course," you replied. "They've become sort of like family these past few months. I'm happy to celebrate with them."
            "They are my family. My parents don't live in Seoul, so when I came here, hoping to become a dancer, Sungmin's mom took me in and invited me to work at the cafe she was opening up with Kyuhyun's and Jungsu's mothers. I've been at Kona ever since, trying to make my dreams come true."
            You looked up into his eyes, cupping his cheek in your hand. "You're an amazing dancer—anyone can see that. I know you can do it. One day, I need to take you to SNU's dance studios. I'm sure you could get a job there."
            Hyukjae barely heard a word you said, though he was delighted at the idea of dancing in Korea's best university. But at the moment he was too wrapped up in the feel of your hand on his face, your cheek pressed to his chest. He had liked you for so long, for nearly two years, and here you were—finally—and you were holding him on your own will, smiling at him with sincerity, encouraging him in his dreams.
            He really, really, really, couldn't ask for more.
 

                                                                                                             ~*~
 

            Feeling more tired and sore than ever, Kibum pressed his face against the closed door of Kona Beans, resting for just a moment. It was past midnight already, and he doubted he could ever find—wait, what was that?
            Though Kona was dark and closed, he could hear people talking behind the door, and something sounded like…trot music? Kibum tried the handle and was relieved when it turned willingly. 
            "____? You there?" 
            No answer. He hesitantly stepped in and was surprised to find the tables littered with food scraps and empty bottles of soju and other alcohol. A half-eaten cake was placed on the counter, reading,
            Saeng 
            Park Jung
            Well. That was all that was left of the icing. A birthday party? Was this why ____ and Ryeowook were not in their rooms? He stepped behind the counter.
            "Kibum-ah!" Ryeowook's familiar voice greeted him. One look at Ryeowook and Kibum could tell he was drunk. "Kibum-ah, you're home!"
"            Hey, Wook," Kibum greeted him with a smile. "Have you seen—"
            "W-what are you doing here?"
            That voice. Kibum knew that voice; that voice was burned into his memory; that voice echoed in his ears and beat against his heart. It was the voice he'd been longing to hear for a month. 
            "_____," he said, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of her: she was sitting next to some blonde-haired man, his arms wrapped around her waist. She was sitting up halfway, as if she had just been lying down and had sat up suddenly at the sight of him. The blonde narrowed his eyes at Kibum but didn't say anything, just watched. 
            Kibum didn't even care. All he could see were Hyukjae's arms around your waist and how clear it was that you had let them be there. Was this why you never answered his letters? The thought made everything inside him freeze—he didn't know what to do.
            "Are you drunk?" he choked out. That had to be it. There had to be some explanation as to why she would read his letter, ignore it and ignore him and let another man touch her. She was drunk. She had to be.
            "No," you said slowly. "Hyukjae oppa doesn't drink, so I said I wouldn't either."

            Kibum wondered momentarily if it was biologically possible to forget how to breathe.
            You got up and moved to him, not taking your eyes off his face. "Why are you here?"
            "You know why," he said, his expression still frozen. He was fighting very hard not to let the pain show on his face. 
            "We're late," you muttered. 
            "Better late than never," he said, recovering somewhat at the sadness he saw form in your eyes. "Let's go now."
            You glanced back at Hyukjae and that one look killed Kibum. "O-okay. Let me get my stuff."
            "Where are you going with her?" Hyukjae asked quietly as he moved to stand in front of Kibum, taking hold of his arm.
            Kibum looked down at Hyukjae’s hand. He replied, just as quietly, hoping you wouldn't notice this exchange, "Just trust me. She needs this."
            Hyukjae looked him squarely, looking tense. Finally, they both started at the sound of your voice calling for Kibum.
            "Bum? Are we leaving now?"
            Kibum quickly moved away from Hyukjae, responding to you, "Coming!"
            He left without a second look. Hyukjae stood there for a moment, feeling like he just lost something important, feeling like he didn't quite understand whatever was going on between you and Kibum.

                                                                                                             ~*~
 

            Kibum handed you a bus ticket and you rode in silence to your destination. He had no idea what to say and although you were used to his silence, you didn't quite know what to say, either. A part of you was expecting him to come, especially since it was that time of year, but when he had suddenly turned up so late at Jungsu's party, you were caught off-guard. You still weren't quite prepared for this. You weren't prepared for this journey and the destination and a million inexplicable emotions closed up your throat. 
            So you rode in silence.
            When you two finally arrived, you merely stood outside silently for a long time, staring, but not entering. You couldn't go in, not now when it was late and dark and not when you were both hurting so much. You were a coward, worse than a coward; you were every horrible name that you could be called. You didn’t deserve to be here.
            "We'll be back soon," Kibum promised after countless minutes of standing there in complete silence.
            You weren't quite sure whom he was talking to, but you nodded slowly, refusing to let the tears fall.
            Unnoticed by both of you, Hyukjae was sitting in his car nearby, wondering what the two of you were doing here, of all places. He drove away stealthily when you two turned to leave, heading home, his mind full of confusion.
 

                                                                                                             ~*~
 

            You and Kibum wentp back to the party, barely saying a word to each other. Hyukjae had already left, much to your disappointment. Jungsu was nearly passed out from the alcohol. He barely looked conscious, but Jongwoon, Kyuhyun, Sungmin, and Ryeowook looked more than ready for more. They were talking rowdily and jostling each other, not noticing you when you came in. You wondered briefly where Hyukjae could have gone, but Kibum's voice quickly interrupted your thoughts.
            "It's really late. I'll walk you back to your dorm, but can we talk tomorrow? I can't stay here long, but I really want to speak with you," Kibum said.
            You nodded, barely managing to see into his eyes with all the shadows crossing his face. "Tomorrow."

A/N: That was the fastest I've ever updated x) Anyway, I've made this story so obvious...has anyone figured out what's happening yet? Not yet? That's okay, it's going to super obvious in the next few chapters. I know the Kibum/Reader stuff is moving along very slowly, but please bear with me :DDD Enjoy for now, and please comment! I love all of you and all your encouraging comments!