"Hyung," Kibum said as soon as Han Geng answered on the other end of the phone call. "I just finished my first ever script-reading."
            "Hello to you, too," he replied with a chuckle. "So how was it?"
            "Really fun," Kibum said.
            "Only ‘really fun’?" Han Geng asked skeptically. "This is your first time and it was only 'really fun'? No excitement, nerves, frustrations?"
            "Not really," Kibum lied through his teeth. "It was…nice."
            "Then who was your favorite sunbae to work with?" Han Geng challenged.
            "Eh? My favorite…?" Kibum thought for a moment. "Oh, well, uh, there's this ahjussi I really liked. He played my father and…"
            "And?" Han Geng prompted. "What's his name?"
            "Eh?"
            "It's not a hard question, Kibum," Han Geng said patiently. 
            "Fine, hyung! You win. I don’t know his name. I didn't greet him properly," Kibum confessed, throwing himself onto his hotel bed, still in all his dirty clothes.
            "Kibum," Han Geng scolded. "You remember what I told you, don't you? You need to be very polite and respectful. The last thing we need is for everyone to think that you're an arrogant rookie when we both know you're the complete opposite."
            "I know, hyung. I'm sorry. I was just distracted," Kibum accidentally let his weakness slip.
            "_____ again?"
            "No, Yoona," Kibum said with a sigh.
            "Yoona? Who's Yoona?" Han Geng asked, sounding confused.
            "My ex-girlfriend and new costar," Kibum informed him bluntly.
            "Ah," Han Geng said. "I can see how this can be a problem. But you can't let it bother you. You can't have anything distract you, and besides, she's your ex. What's important now is your debut, quite possibly the most important project you'll ever do. First impressions are everything in an unforgiving business like show business."
            "Then I might have screwed up already, hyung," Kibum confessed guiltily.
            "Kim Kibum!" Han Geng snapped, sounding angry for the first time in the entire phone call. "Stop fooling around and start acting more like a professional. You must put work above everything else right now."
            Work above everything else…above everyone else? "Yeah, hyung. I'm just…sorting things out."
            "Then sort it out fast," Han Geng said imperatively. "You have a lot of people believing in you. Me, the school, your classmates, your coworkers, even _____. Don't disappoint us, Kibum."
            "I won't, hyung," Kibum promised. "Look, I better go and sleep now. We begin rehearsals and filming tomorrow. I'll call you again."
            "Good," Han Geng said, softening his tone. "Sleep well, Kibum-ah."
            "Night, hyung."
            Kibum tossed his phone carelessly on his bed, not caring where it landed. He rubbed at both his eyes with his hands. I just want to sleep…
            Get up, Kim Kibum. What will happen to your skin if you don't take care of it? It'll get dirty, then the dirt will clog your pores, then you'll get acne, and what kind of actor has bad skin? No one will hire you.
            Kibum dragged himself into a technically upright position and forced his body to the sink. As he splashed water on his face, he thought, What kind of actor has bad skin? 
            As he lathered up his face soap, he thought, What kind of actor lets his personal life affect his work?
            No one hires actors like that, Kibum told himself as he rinsed the soap from his face. 
            Han Geng hyung is right, Kibum looked up into his reflection, watching the drops of water slide off his face. You need to figure everything else out. Work before everything else, before anyone else.
 

                                                                                           ~*~
 

            "Good morning," Siwon said brightly to the groggy Song Qian, who had opened the door to their dorm room without thinking.
            "Good morning," she mumbled, not checking to see who was at the door through her closed eyes.
            "Is _____ here?" he asked politely, resisting the urge to push open the door and check himself.
            "_____?" Song Qian tilting her head up half-heartedly to see who the hell came to their room this early, scratching her unwashed hair with one hand and her with the other. "Who's asking?"
            "Uh, Siwon," he said, sounding mildly amused at her half-awake state.
            Song Qian screamed and slammed the door in his face. 
            "What...argh! Aaaggg! Wae…mwo…Choi Siwon…ani…yoooo!" was all poor Siwon could hear from his side of the door. He folded his hands and stepped back, biting his lip to hold back a laugh.
            A moment later, your sleepy bedhead popped out and said sheepishly, "I think you surprised her."
            "I…think so too."
            "What is Choi Siwon doing asking for you here? Yah, _____, you better answer me!" Song Qian's yells could be heard from outside.
            You glanced back nervously then back to Siwon. "Um, give me twenty minutes to get dressed. I would invite you in…but I don't think Qiannie is quite ready for that."
            "I don't think so either. I'll just, uh, meet you outside," he offered, jerking his thumb towards the exit, slowly scooting away.
            "YAH! _____!" Song Qian's scream almost seemed to echo this time.
            "Good idea," you said with a grin. Your head popped back inside and the door shut behind it. Siwon stood there for a moment, bemused, muffling a laugh.
            Twenty minutes later, you managed to calm down Song Qian with a promise to explain everything later and another promise to let her dress you this morning. You met Siwon outside, looking fresh and awake and not at all as if you had nearly been murdered by your roommate.
            "You ready now?" Siwon asked.
            "Yup!" you said with a laugh.
            "You sure?" he teased.
            You lightly smacked his arm. He grinned, his dimples looking absolutely adorable. "I brought you Kona coffee," he said, handing you a cup.
            "What? It's not even 9AM right now! How'd you manage to go all the way there?" you wondered, completely surprised.
            "I like to wake up early," he said with a shrug. "Lots to do and not enough time to do it!"
            "Agreed," you nodded with a laugh. "I feel like I'm going to die with this semester's workload, and we've barely started. Thanks for the coffee, by the way. That was really sweet of you."
            "No problem. But what is it you're studying that's got you so busy?"
            You glanced at him. His gaze was so genuinely interested. You usually didn't feel comfortable sharing your dreams with just anyone, but something about Siwon made you want to tell him. "Well…I'm studying English really hard, and atmospheric science. And I'm in a speech class, too."
            Siwon kept his pace slow, leading the two of you as you strolled leisurely around the campus. You noticed Siwon liked taking walks a lot, and you had to admit that you didn't mind them so much, either. "So tell me," he said. "'cause I can't figure it out. What does taking English, atmospheric science, and speech all lead too?"
            "I want to be an anchor," you said with a blush. "I'm not sure what will be thrown my way, whether I deal with international news, or become a weather reporter, or something completely different like an entertainment news anchor, so I want to be prepared for all of it."
            You avoided his gaze. "It's a weird dream, right? Not many people want that. And you probably wouldn't ever guess that someone like me would ever be good at speaking."
            Siwon stopped walking, forcing you to stop as well. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Actually, I think you'd make a great news anchor. You've got confidence, poise, your voice is nice to listen to…and you're beautiful."
            You turned to face him slowly. You had been all those things, once. Could he really see all that in the pathetic person you turned to yourself into?
            "You really think that?" your voice sounding small.
            "Of course!" He clapped his hands once. "How about you give me a sneak preview of your skills now?"
            "Right now?" you gasped. "Here?"
            "Why not? You'll have to do it in front of the whole nation soon enough."
            "I…I—"
            "Improvise a weather report," he persuaded with that lovely smile of his. "It'll be fun."
            "…Fine." you took a deep breath, pushing Siwon's dimples out of your mind and recalling everything you had learned in speech class: posture, smile, deep breath—”Good morning, Korea, and here is today's weather. It seems like the sky is very clear this morning, and the lack of clouds indicate clear weather for the rest of the day." You gracefully gestured to the cloudless sky above you.             "So be sure to dress in cool clothing, call your friends, and head out for a day of fun!"
            Siwon laughed at how perfect you sounded. He wasn't expecting you to sound so realistic.
            "Why are you laughing?" you pouted, embarrassed.
            "That was so good," he said, delighted. "You sounded just like a professional."
            "Really?" you said, sounding even more delighted than Siwon.
            "Really! Can you do another? Anything?" he asked hopefully.
            You were excited. It's been a while since you had practiced your speaking in front of someone. It's been even longer since you actually felt so happy doing it. 
            "Okay," you agreed readily. "Um…oh! I know!" You gently pushed against Siwon's chest, moving him to stand behind you. You stood with your back to him, pretending to hold a mic as you spoke to an imaginary camera.
            "Breaking news," you told the imaginary camera seriously. "It seems a rare species of horse has been found in Seoul, though what it is doing here and how it got here is still unknown. It's gender and age are unknown, but it seems to respond well to the name 'Siwon'—"
            "Yah," Siwon protested, his turn to pout. He moved out of the "camera frame", causing you to turn to him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. 
            "Okay, okay, a different kind of news report," you said, pushing him back to his original position. You brushed your hair from your face and got back to news anchor mode, holding an invisible mic to your mouth again. 
            "And today, I have with me the world-famous actor, Choi Siwon! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Korea's heartthrob is here for an exclusive interview. So tell me, Siwon-ssi, what brings you to Seoul?" You moved the invisible mic to Siwon's mouth.
            Siwon tried his hardest not to laugh as he answered, "I promised my friend an interview for her news channel, so here I am! It's great to be here."
            You held the mic close to you again. "Well, Seoul and I are both grateful to have you. What's it like, seeing your face plastered all over the city?"
            "It's overwhelming," Siwon said, grinning widely at you. "I'm flattered."
            "You're too humble!" you said, putting on your best prying news anchor voice. "You know how handsome you are, don't you?"
            "Oh, no," he said, not laughing anymore, waving his hands in protest. "I'm not that handsome."
            "Then how do you explain fangirls like a certain young lady named Song Qian? Do you secretly enjoy all the attention? Is this all some sort of plot? Now, tell me, Siwon-ssi, do you plan on conquering the world by first winning the undying loyalty of every single woman?"
            Siwon burst out laughing, bending over as his body was wracked with laughter. You turned to the fake camera and concluded, "It seems like that is indeed his evil plot. He is definitely hiding something behind that devilishly handsome face. Ladies, you have been warned—"
            In an attempt to get you to stop embarrassing him, he shoved you like you had been shoving him, but he didn't know his own strength. You ended up in a face plant with your high in the air.
            "Oh, crap, _____, I didn't mean it! Are you okay?!" Siwon panicked, all the laughter gone from his face. He fell to his knees next to you and rolled you over to check for injuries…only to see you laughing harder than ever. 
            "You almost gave me a heart attack!" Siwon shouted, too flustered to do anything but flop on the ground next to you, his heart still racing.
            "Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry but that was so great," you said between gasps for air. Siwon cracked a smile and made the mistake of making eye contact with you. In a flash you two were laughing all over again, barely able to breathe, rolling around the ground, tears streaming from both your eyes.
            "Can't—breathe—" Siwon gasped.
            Your whole body shook with laughter at his red face. 
            People walked by looking at the two of you like you were worse than crazy, but neither of you cared, especially you. You hadn't laughed so hard in so long, and nothing—no dark thoughts, no bitterness—crossed your mind except giddy happiness and breathless excitement. And Siwon's bright smile.
 

                                                                                          ~*~
 

            Kibum got to the set early this morning, for the specific purpose of helping the staff set up.
            "No, no," one of the staff members putting together the set said. "If you injure yourself putting this set together, all our hard work will be wasted anyway."
            "We're just setting up a small cottage," Kibum pointed out politely. "Let me help arrange the furniture, at least."
            Eventually, probably due to Kibum's persistence and dazzling smile, the staff members agreed to let him help set up. 
            "Don't strain yourself," the head of the set crew warned. "We can't have you looking tired or injured."
            "That's what makeup's for," Kibum said cheerfully, quickly moving to grab a basket of props from someone.
            Kibum spent his entire morning helping the staff, even though they kept him from the more strenuous tasks, but he was happy to help, even with the smallest things like getting coffee. He was especially satisfied to discover everything that happened on the set of drama behind-the-scenes, which he told Jay, the PD, when he questioned him about it later.
            "As a rookie, I wanted to learn everything I could," Kibum said simply.
            "It's not your job," Jay said matter-of-factly. "But luckily, you didn't seem to offend them. They were mostly surprised in your 'genuine interest in their jobs, as the boss of the set tech workers told me. I hope you'll show as much enthusiasm for your own job."
            Kibum nodded. "Of course. I don't want to disappoint on my very first project."
            That made Jay smile. "They told me you'd be perfect for this production. I really hope they're right."
            Before Kibum could answer, Jay shooed him away into the hands of the stylists, who needed to take his measurements for all of his costumes.

                                                                                            ~*~
 

            Can you come to Kona now? I want to see you *^^*
            You looked down at the text message and smiled to yourself. You quickly threw all your work in your bag and brought it to Kona Beans—not that you were able to focus much. Instead, you found yourself distracted as you watched Hyukjae bustle around behind the cafe, never tiring of smiling, keeping his polite tone and language even when talking to unnecessarily rude strangers, looking up from his work every now and then to check if you were still there. 
            Granted, he wasn't as good-looking as Siwon, nor did he hold half his charm and poise. But something about him—whether it was that gummy smile, his oddly slim body, or even his platinum blonde hair—exuded appeal, made people overlook his flaws and see all his attractive points. 
            You were lost in thought when Kyuhyun sat down next to you, Ryeowook in tow.
            "What's up, _____-ah?"
            You looked at him, slightly dazed from the sudden pull away from your thoughts. "Oh, nothing. Work, the usual."
            Kyuhyun smirked. "Doesn't look like work. Looks more like you were stalking Hyukjae hyung."
            You blushed. "I was doing school work, I swear!"
            Kyuhyun looked like he was about to tear apart your defenses with nothing but a few words when Ryeowook interrupted.
            He glanced between you and Hyukjae and asked, "Do you like Hyukjae hyung, _____?"
            "He's…interesting," you said eventually, struggling to find the right words. 
Kyuhyun joked, "Yeah, but being interesting doesn't make up for being not as handsome as me."
            "Who are you talking about?" Hyukjae asked, appearing at their side suddenly. "Jungsu hyung? Yeah, it's too for Jim bad he's not as good-looking as me."
            You giggled, and Hyukjae looked immensely satisfied with himself while Kyuhyun looked like he was searching for the best opportunity to kick his hyung.
Hyukjae sat on Kyuhyun, blocking his view of you as he asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit? I'm almost done and my shift ends in a little less than an hour. Afterwards, we can do whatever you want."
            "Sounds good," you smiled at him.
            Ryeowook watched everything silently. What about Kibum?
            Kyuhyun's mother came to their table with her hands on her hips. "It's great to see you here again, ____. Hope you're enjoying everything," she said warmly to you before turning on her son and scolding, "Did you come here just to play? If not, get in the storage room and help me do the inventory. Yah, Lee Hyukjae, you better not be sitting around when there is a whole line of customers waiting. Ryeowook-ah, if you could please come with me, I have something to discuss with you," she handed out commands more powerfully than any army general ever could. She walked away after giving you one final smile which you returned, amused. The three boys followed her like baby chickens waddling after their mother. Hyukjae threw you a wink, causing you to blush. Ryeowook glanced back at your blushing face, a worried expression etched onto his face as he worried about his roommate.
            Little did Ryeowook now that not even a minute after he had left did you check your phone for messages.
            Still nothing from Kibum, you sighed.

                                                                                            ~*~

            Kibum stepped into the makeup room after their rehearsal, getting ready to film his first scene. On his way in, he encountered Yoona, who was on her way out, looking stunning.
            "Oh, hi, Yoona," Kibum said shortly, maneuvering to get past her.
            She grabbed his arm quickly before realizing what she was doing. She withdrew her hand slowly as she said, "Kibum oppa, I'm really looking forward to filming with you today."
            He looked at her. She really was extraordinarily beautiful. After a moment, he nodded once then brushed past her and sat in one of the makeup chairs. She left the room quickly, before Kibum could steal a glance at expression. He bit his lip, completely absorbed in his thoughts as the makeup artists began fussing over his face.
            "You have such nice skin," she complimented as she began to brush BB cream across his cheeks with her fingertips.
            "Thank you," Kibum said, smiling politely, trying to seem like his thoughts weren't elsewhere. "I try to make your job easier." He fell into his own private contemplation again, not hearing the stylists murmur to each other about how captivating his smile was, how mysteriously polite and charming his personality was.
            He was soon rushed to the set, his character's cottage in the Gwangju countryside. It was a scene from the first episode, where Yoona's character came to his humble home and began insulting his lifestyle. His own character was supposed to just ignore her rudeness and move on with his chores.
Soon, all the staff was gathered, Jay ordered filming to begin, and film slate was clapped shut. Kibum told himself, Do well. _____ is expecting that much from you. She probably texted you already, wishing you good luck. He relaxed at the thought of talking to you and soon enough he was able to focus and immerse himself into the scene.
            Yoona—or rather, Park Sunyoung—strutted into the cottage, immediately dropping all her bags onto the floor and whining, "Why didn't you help me carry my things? God, that was such a long walk. I can't believe I had to take a bus. And what the hell is this?" Sunyoung wrinkled her nose, beginning to move around the room. "Is this where you keep your animals?"
            She's good, Kibum conceded. But he was just as good, if not better. He said in Hyunmin's low, gravelly satoori, "This is my grandmother's house. Your room is over there," He pointed to a door with scratched paint and loose hinges. Without another word, he continued his work in the kitchen, setting up lunch for his grandmother. 
            "That's disgusting. Is this even a house? And what are you wearing? I've seen homeless people on the streets of Seoul look better than you," Sunyoung snapped. She stood there, tapping her foot expectantly. When Hyunmin didn't even turn around, she eventually huffed, "Aren't you going to take my bags?"
            He passed by her on his way to his grandmother's room. He paused, his face an inch from hers, looking at her in a way no one else had. His voice still quiet and low, he repeated steadily, "Your room is over there."
            He exited the set, leaving her there to splutter in shock. 
            "And cut!" Jay called. "Great! We'll do the scene again from a different angle. Yoona-ssi, Kibum-ssi, we'll take five minutes to set up the cameras. Do what you want, but be ready in five."
            "Ne," they both answered in unison. Kibum, who had stepped back onto the set glanced at Yoona when they spoke at the same time. As everyone hurried to set up around them, Yoona smiled hesitantly at him. 
            "I'm really excited to be working with you, oppa."
            Kibum watched the crew for a moment. "Weird, isn't it? How we're both here after so many years."
            "Weird isn't the right word," Yoona protested, sounding more and more like the high school girl he had once known. 
            "Maybe," he replied shortly.
            Yoona moved so that she was looking right into his eyes. "Oppa, you've always been such a great actor. You are the person who inspired me. I have the part of the brat instead of the good girl and our characters are enemies, but I really want us to be good friends again."
            "We can't be friends like we were," he told her, not breaking eye contact with her, letting his words sink in. After saying that, he smiled, just a tiny bit. "But I guess we can try."
            Yoona looked ecstatic, but Kibum was more reserved. _____ was the girl for him and Yoona was nothing but a faded memory. He would prove it.
 

                                                                                            ~*~
 

            Ryeowook came scurrying back to you soon enough, looking more happy than usual.
            "_____-ah! Guess what, guess what!"
            You pursed your lips. "Hmmm…did you—"
            "Oh my god, YOU'RE SO SLOW AT GUESSING. I'll just tell you," he interrupted excitedly. "Kyuhyun's mom wants to try something new here at Kona for her customers—she asked me to sing with Kyuhyun on Friday nights here!"
            "Ryeowook, that's so great!" You jumped up, dropping your phone on the table. "I can't wait to—"
            "But that's not all," Kyuhyun interrupted you. "Jongwoon hyung wants me to take lessons from him at SNU!"
            "Wow, Kyuhyunnie, congratul—"
            "Yeah I just passed the message from Jongwoon hyung!" Ryeowook interrupted you again. "He's not allowed to officially enroll at SNU, but Jongwoon sunbaenim still wants to teach him. He said something about 'natural talent', blah blah blah."
            "No, both you and Kyuhyun sing ver—"
            "Hey, _____!" Kyuhyun interrupted you, again.
            "What?" you said through your teeth. "Can I speak or are you two going to interrupt me for the nine hundredth time?"
            "Just teasing you," Kyuhyun said, sticking out his tongue.
            "They're so rude," Hyukjae remarked, coming from nowhere up to your side, freshly changed out of his Kona apron.
            "No kidding," you said, rolling your eyes.
            Hyukjae smiled widely, showing off his gums. "I say we ditch them and hang out, just the two of us."
            "I say that's a great idea," you grinned back, gathering up all your things. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook tried to protest but Hyukjae just slapped them on the and shooed them away.
            "Listen to your hyung when he says go away," he scolded them playfully. They rolled their eyes but walked away without too much protest.
            "At least we have each other, right, Ryeowook-ah?"
            Ryeowook snorted. "You? Pfft. No, I have Miyoung and you have no one!"
            "Yah!"
            Hyukjae watched them leave fondly, but you didn't even notice. You checked your phone quickly while Hyukjae was still distracted.
            Still no messages from Kim Kibum. You felt hurt, worse than hurt. Shouldn't he call, text, anything? Was he really too busy?
            "Ready?" Hyukjae's voice interrupted your thoughts.
            You turned to him, holding your phone behind your back, smiling at him automatically. "I'm ready when you are!" You spoke cheerfully, but in your hand you were painfully aware of the heavy silence that only served to remind you how Kibum forgot about you.

                                                                                           ~*~
 

            Not even a single text. No “good luck”, no “hello”, no “I miss you”, nothing. Kibum threw his phone at the wall. He gave up. Maybe you had read his letter and burnt it, thrown it away, fed it to the birds, used it to wipe your —he didn't know. Maybe you hated him. Maybe you didn't care and maybe you were having too much fun with Choi Siwon.
            As he got into bed that night, worrying about you and his letter, he recalled one particular moment…
            "I will never forgive you," Han Geng screamed at you, looking near insane. "I hate you. I hate you! Don't come near me again!"
            Kibum forced himself between Han Geng and your silently crying self. "Hyung, stop! Can't you see that…can't you see how much you're hurting her?"
            "I don't care," Han Geng spit. "Make sure she never comes near me again, Kim Kibum. If I see her again, I don't know what I'll do."
            Kibum shook his doubts away. Han Geng said he would give _____ the letter. He promised. Then why hadn't _____ answered him yet?

A/N: I had finished this a while ago, but I never put it up because it was so long that it took forever to edit XD I just want to say thanks to my readers who have commented so faithfully. You guys are the only reason why I don't abandon this story completely. Because of those three or so readers, this update was longer than usual and I was actually able to write it. So thank you guys<3 To the others, please comment and subscribe! It makes my day more than you can imagine ^o^ OH and I made a poster lolololol. It's ugly as hell though since my Photoshop skills got very rusty. So if anyone knows any good poster-makers..... :DDDD