13) If you lose him and you feel like part of you died, get him back and marry him, because that means you’ve found someone you truly love.

            You walked into the club, surrounded by your friends, the heavy bass pumping the air. 
            "Where are we?" you yelled over the sound of liberated musicians and drunken partying.
            "I don't know," Ryeowook yelled back. "The music department seniors were the ones who planned it all for everyone in the showcase…and a few friends."
            You widened your eyes. There were definitely more than a few friends crowding the club. People were all squeezed together, either on the dance floor or by the bar.
            "Come on, let's dance!" Hyoyeon called, dragging as many people as she could with her.
            "You going?" Kibum asked, still yelling. 

            You grinned at him, ready to party. “Let’s go!”

            In a big group of friends, you started moving to the beat. Damn, it’s been so long since you had fun and danced like this. You didn’t want to think about the last time you were at a club.

            Hyoyeon and Yuri, who both studied dance at SNU, moved to the center of the circle and started to show off what they learned, earning loud cheers and appraising—although somewhat y—looks from the boys.

            “Hey, meet our friend, Lee Hyukjae,” Jungsu shouted, seemingly pulling the boy from thin air. “He’s a fantastic dancer.”

            You recognized him right away—he had been popping up everywhere in your life. So, blonde-haired Kona clerk with the gummy smile had a name. Lee Hyukjae. He smiled bashfully, but when he started to move, he radiated confidence and charisma.

            “Damn,” Hyoyeon said appreciatively.

            A larger crowd formed around the dancing Hyukjae. The SNU dance instructor from the showcase pushed his way through and challenged Hyukjae with a taunt, “Dance battle?”

            “Dance battle!” the others shouted demandingly.

            “Shindong oppa is really the best,” Hyoyeon said, motioning to the man from the showcase opening act, still moving to the beat. “I wonder how he’ll hold up against the new guy?”

            The sweat poured off their faces as they moved, one after the other. Shindong would pop and lock, and Hyukjae would counter with more smoothe moves. It was impossible to tell who would win. When they both couldn’t breathe anymore, they laughed and shook hands, congratulating each other on a job well done. The crowd dispersed after the entertainment ended.           

            “Unni, let’s dance,” Yuri insisted, starting to get bored.           

            “Uh, no thanks,” you said, backing away with a nervous laugh.

            “Forget her!” Kyuhyun said, dragging Yuri and Hyoyeon further onto the dance floor to dance with him and the other Kona boys.

            Hyukjae, who had just chugged down an entire water bottle, started heading in your direction, but Kibum reached you first.

            “Come on,” he said. “You should let loose for once.”
            "In a sec," you told him. "I need a drink first. I haven't done this in so long. I need to relax."
            "What?" Kibum yelled, not catching everything you said over the loud song that was playing.
            "Just go!" you yelled at him, giving him a solid push in the direction the others left in. He glanced back at you, but you seemed alright, and it's not as if the two of you could've talked amidst all this noise anyway. He squeezed past all the bodies, searching for his friends. Hyukjae lost sight of you as you waded through the throngs of people, and he sighed. He followed after Kibum, moving in the opposite direction.
            You didn’t notice Hyukjae as you moved towards the bar. Your thoughts were too occupied by other matters: as the people around you danced the night away, you couldn't help but recall the last time you had been in a club. He had been dancing in the middle of the dance floor, women all around him.
            "Yah!" you screeched, dragging him off the dance floor. "What are you doing?!"
            "Having fun!" He rolled his eyes, yanking his arm out of your grip. "I suppose you don't know what that means."
            "Are you freaking kidding me right now?"
            "What is your problem?!"
            "All those girls out there, touching you like that! That's my problem."
            "It doesn't mean anything," he said, sounding pissed.
            "It means something to me," you said, tears pricking your eyes. 
            He sighed. "You're overreacting!"
            "No," you spat out at him, fiercely rubbing your eyes. "You know what I'm beginning to think doesn’t mean anything? Us."
            "_____—"
            You left the club before he could say anything to get you to forgive him. You forgave him too easily, and this time you didn't want to.

            You haven't been in a club since then, convinced they were filled with boyfriend-stealing, cheaply-dressed .
            Your head hurt from the memory, and you wanted to be sick. Everything was too much to handle…maybe if you could just see Henry, kiss him one more time, everything would feel all right again. Blindly stumbling, you finally made it to the bar, practically collapsing on top of it. "Just give me something strong," you gasped. "Anything."
            "Whoa, there," you heard an amused voice say right in your ear, his alcohol-smelling breath brushing across your face.
            "Personal space, please?!"
            "No can do," the stranger said. "Otherwise, how are you supposed to hear me speak?"
            You glared at the poor guy. He was good-looking, no doubt, and he seemed to know it. His eye-smile could almost rival Miyoung's. But you didn't need this right now; you wanted to have fun with your friends and boyfriend, not some drunk stranger.
            "Kim Youngwoon," he introduced himself.
            "I didn't ask," you deadpanned. 
            "Come on," he coaxed. "Can you please at least look at me?"
            You sighed taking a big gulp of whatever it was the bartender had placed in front of you. Turning towards him, you tried to keep your face expressionless, but you were met with surprise when you took a second look at the guy. He didn't seem as old as you thought he had been, and he had a genuinely interested look on his face, not one filled with drunken lust. 
            "I'm _____," you surrendered. 
            Youngwoon put his hand on your shoulder, your skin gently with his thumb. "You seem upset. Are you okay?"
            You glanced at his hand. "Please don't—"
            "Hey, man, that's my girlfriend you're touching," a tight voice said.
            You turned to see him striding towards you to. "Henry!" You were relieved to see him. You'd barely seen him all night, but at least now he was coming to your rescue.

            “Seriously?” Youngwoon asked you skeptically. “This guy? He’s gotta be like, sixteen or something.”

            “My age is none of your business,” Henry spat at him. You’d never seen Henry angry before, and you were a little disturbed by this side of him. He continued, “And she is my girlfriend, so how about you step off?”

            Youngwoon just laughed. But he backed away, flashing you a quick smile before heading off to the dance floor.

            “What the hell, _____?” Henry glared at you.

            “Excuse me?” You were surprised by his anger.

            “Were you just planning on flirting with him all night?”

            “You don’t know what you’re talking about! He came up to me!”

            Henry snorted derisively. “And I suppose you actually were going to tell him to leave.”

            You glared back at him, irritated with how irrational he was being. “Why can’t you believe me? I was just talking to him!”

            “He was touching you! I’m a guy, too! I know when guys are hitting on someone!”

            “Fine! I’m sorry I didn’t tell him to get lost sooner. But I wasn’t planning on doing anything with him. I wasn’t feeling well and he was just being nice,” you said, the pounding bass of the music and all the shouting starting to get to you.

            “So now you’re defending him?” Henry asked in complete disbelief.

            “What are you talking about?”

            “That guy!” Henry seethed. “You’ll defend him, but when he comes up to me, treating me like some kid, you don’t say a single word?”

            You gaped at him. “Are you freaking kidding me right now?” The familiar words reverberated in your head. You swallowed and tried to control your tears. “I thought you were doing fine, handling it on your own.”           

            “_____, don’t cry,” Henry said, feeling horribly guilty at making you tear up. He stepped closer to you, touching your face gently. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry I was yelling at you. I just got…jealous, I guess.”

            You closed your eyes and tried to smile. “It’s okay. I know you’re my boyfriend, Henry, and I like it that way. I would never cheat on you.”

            “That’s good. I almost believed Amber for a second there,” Henry confessed, grinning a bit.

            “Wait, what?” you asked, stepping away from Henry.

            Henry frowned, realizing his mistake. “It’s nothing.”

            “No, what was that you said about Eunyoung—Amber, whoever she is?”           

            Henry ran a hand through his hair. “It’s really nothing. She might’ve mentioned once that you were in love with someone else, but I know that’s all just bull now.”

            You gasped. “And you believed her?!”

            “No, no!” Henry insisted. “I just got a little insecure. And when I saw you with that guy…I don’t know! I guess I snapped.”

            You were about to say something to him, but you were interrupted by Kibum, who had come over to your side suddenly. “Are you okay, _____?”

            “We’re fine,” Henry said, annoyed at the interruption.

            “Kibum-ah, you should go,” you said quietly, noticing Henry’s tension.           

            “Henry, what’s going on?” Eunyoung also appeared by Henry’s side.

            “None of your business.” It was your turn to snap.

            “Don’t talk to her like that,” Henry said, his jaw tightening.

            Kibum’s eyes narrowed. “And don’t you talk to _____ like that.”

            You sighed wearily, knowing where this was going. “Henry, let’s just go. We should speak about this in private.”

            Henry didn’t move, his eyes glued to Kibum. “Fine. But before we go, I need to ask you one thing: are you in love with Kim Kibum?”

            You were stunned by the question. You knew Henry had been jealous, but to this extent? He was going to fight you about it?

            “What…?”

            “You heard me.”

             A triumphant smiled tugged at Eunyoung’s lips, but Kibum only had eyes for you. His heart raced, running a million miles per hour towards you and your answer.

            You noticed neither of them. You looked Henry straight in the eye and claimed, “Never! He’s like my brother and always has been—always will be! Henry, you know this! You know how I feel about him, and how I feel about you.”

            Henry relaxed, but Eunyoung was confused. She knew what she heard that day, when you had been talking to Kibum in your dorm room. Then who were you in love with? It wasn’t Kibum, and it definitely wasn’t Henry, so who?

            Kibum, on the other hand, felt his heart stutter and crash. No one noticed past his poker face, but inside all he could think was, She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me.

            Henry smiled, trusting your words and feeling reassured. Amber had been wrong. He made a motion to grab your hand and time slowed down for Eunyoung.

            It was now or never. They say fights make couples stronger, and Eunyoung just couldn’t stand that. She had loved Henry Lau from the minute they had become friends, and she couldn’t stand to see him with someone who had no place in her heart for him. She had to act; she had to stop him from making a fool of himself; she had to make him hers.

            “Henry, wait!” she cried as he reached out to you.

            He turned around and said, “Yeah?”

            You watched her, almost curious, waiting for her next move.

            “Henry, I’m in love with you,” she confessed.

            You sighed deeply, feeling more tired than you’d felt in a long time. You had known this was coming. You tried to ignore it, you wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but you had known all along. You had known.

            “W-what?” Henry said, suddenly letting go of your hand.

            Eunyoung said in a rush, “For as long as I’ve known you, I’ve been in love with you. I can’t stand to see you with her. I can’t stand it anymore, Henry, I’m the one that loves you!”

            “Amber,” he whispered, seeming utterly lost, looking like a child in his confusion. He recalled the first time he had seen you, and how beautiful you looked and how something in your eyes drew him to you. Something about you made him want to care about you. And as he looked at you now, he could see that look in your eyes again, that look that had appeared so often while he had been dating you, that he could do nothing about, no matter how many times he played his violin for you, no matter what dates he took you on. “_____...”

            “Henry, please,” Eunyoung begged softly.

            Henry didn’t look at her, only at you. He remembered how often you were with Kibum, how tightly you clung to him, how happy you looked when you were with him. No matter what Henry did when he was with you, you never noticed. It had always been Kim Kibum you turned to. And he had been fine with it, because no matter how jealous he got, he knew how much you could care about a best friend.

            A best friend…he finally turned his gaze to Amber. He saw the sincerity in her eyes, and something inside him clicked. He knew how much he could care about a best friend.

            “_____,” he said you name again, his tone different. Everyone heard it, and inside, Eunyoung rejoiced. But you just looked away, and Kibum could only watch as those telltale signs of sadness crossed your demeanor again.

            “_____, I’m sorry,” Henry said, genuinely looking it.

            “Don’t. I…we…not enough. We were never enough,” you murmured, tracing his face with your hand one last time. You weren’t sure whether to forgive him or hate him, forgive Eunyoung or hate her, forgive yourself or hate yourself. Your heart was a mess of emotions right now, but you couldn’t help but notice that something felt right about letting him walk away. Maybe “right” wasn’t the proper term, but it felt..okay, almost, because you’ve felt heartbreak a thousand times worse. Something told you that no matter how much you had liked him for the past few months, it was the right thing to let him leave with Eunyoung, not you.

            “I’m sorry,” Henry said finally, turning to leave, motioning for Eunyoung to follow. You didn’t watch them go, but Kibum did. They didn’t touch, but Kibum could clearly see the difference in their manner towards each other. Kibum knew that things would be different for them, but for the better. He took one look at your blank face and knew it wouldn’t be the same for you.

            He wondered if the same thing that had happened to Henry—that is, having your best friend fall in love with him—would one day happen to him. He opened his mouth to speak, but when he saw the look on your face, he knew that now was not the time. It had been right for Eunyoung, but it was all wrong for him. He didn’t know when would be the right time.

            He’s like my brother and always has been—always will be! The words echoed in his mind and heart, and he sighed deeply, inwardly.

            “Let’s just go back too your room, _____,” he said to you, feeling worse than disappointed. He took your arm in his and lead you away, out of the club.

            You simply nodded, too devoid of emotion to respond properly. Or maybe you were too full of emotions…at this point, you couldn’t tell the difference.

            13) If you lose him and you feel like part of you died, get him back and marry him, because that means you’ve found someone you truly love. Henry, rule thirteen…failed.

A/N: Hopefully this Author's Note wasn't too important either...cause it's been deleted now XD anyway...continue reading ^o^