I Need You

Your hug
Your touch
Your smile
Your tears
Your breath
Your look
Everything about you...
I can't keep my heart from being silent...

--

“I miss you so much that it hurts.”

He walked up to her, and gave her a hug. As he touched her body, a lump was formed on . The tears involuntarily fell from her eyes. “All I wanted is to find time with my best friend... and... and you can't give that to me. Why does he have to take you away from me? Why did you have to forget me, Ella?” he asked. She opened to speak, but she felt too weak to even answer. 

She wanted to say that she didn't forget him. 
He was the one who forgot. 
She wanted to say that she didn't let him take her away from him. 
She let her feelings take herself away from her best friend. 
She wanted to say that she wanted to take back the lost time with him.
He was to busy to even find time for her.
She wanted to say that she miss him too, and it hurts more than he feels.
But it will only give way to what her heart truly feels. 

Chun released her, and she immediately turned her back on him, so that he won't see the tear in her eyes. And she successfully hid those tears from him. “This is not a good time to be mushy, Chun. Finals are coming soon, and I'm really busy right now.” she said in a stern voice. His shoulder slumped upon hearing how emotionless she is towards him now. Before, when they have not seen each other even for a day, she would run up to him, give him a bear hug, and tell him how much she missed him. Now, the Ella before her seems not to care about him anymore. “Ella...” he said in a low voice.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, and faced him again. This time, her face seemed serious, as if masking how she truly feels. “Aren't you supposed to be working on your grades as well? How can you get in to that university and take the same major as me? You know that the standards at St. Thomas University is so high, especially at the Architecture department. I think you're slacking off.” she said. “Can you for once stop obsessing about college, Ella? We have to talk. We haven't talked for ages.” Chun said in a frustrated tone. “All I can see is that you're spending way too much time with Tiffany and not working on your grades, Chun. I'm not like you. Even though I am dating Lego, it doesn't mean that I'm forgetting my studies.”
“Stop taking about it, Ella. Please...”
“I'm busy. You should be too. Why am I the only one who cares about this whole ?”
“Ella...”
“Oh, maybe you realized you didn't want to be an architect anymore. It's OK, I understand. Sp, are you gonna take the same major as Tiff now?”
“Ella...”
“Yeah, or maybe you decided not to go that university anymore, huh?”
“Ella! I said stop it!”

He pulled Ella to him, his forehead leaning to hers. His finger silenced her lips. “Didn't you just realize what I just said?” he asked in a low, hurt tone. “I missed you... I missed my best friend... I missed spending after school hours with her. I missed having long talks with her about our day in school... about our dreams, about our crazy thoughts. I wanted to ask her, ' how are you doing?' 'how are you and Lego' 'is Lego treating you good?' 'if he hurt you or make you cry, I will definitely break his neck'. I want to tell her, 'hey, remember that dream house you sketched a few years back? Promise me I'll be the one who'll build it' or 'hey, I saw the cotton candy man a while ago at the park, and I remember how you looked like when you choked on the cotton candy we bought from him back in 3rd grade'.”

She looked into Chun's eyes, and she could see his pain. She felt guilty, because she caused that pain to him. “I... I just want us to talk... that's all. I feel that since you and Lego have been together, you have been neglecting me, not wanting to spend time with me. All I'm asking is just a minute of your time...” he said. She wanted to hug him tight, and say sorry for avoiding him. 

“You and Tiffany had a fight, didn't you?” she asked. Chun was surprised at her question, too surprised that he let her go. “What made you think that we fought?” he asked in an angry tone. “Because you need me.”
“I have always needed you!”
“Yeah, you do. When you have problems, I'm the one who always fix it. That's my role in your life, right?”
“Do you really think of me that way? Do you think I always come to you whenever I wanted something from you? How can you think lowly of me?”
“Because all my life, it has always been like that, Chun!”

He stared at her sadly as he brushed his hair with his fingers. “You're right... I've always depended too much on you... especially whenever I have problems. Don't worry, I'll fix this on my own, do that you won't have to worry about me anymore...” he said. Weakly, Chun turned his back on her, and walked away. She could only watch sadly as he walked away. She pushed him away again and she knew it was wrong. She wanted to follow him and apologize, but she can't bring herself to. “I'm so sorry, Chun...” she said softly. “I'm so sorry...”

--

Lego stood at the center of the empty hall. He clutched his back as he looked at his watch, waiting for someone to come. Then, he heard footsteps. He looked by the door, and he saw Chun walking up to me. “What do you want to talk about, that we have to talk here, and not at the classroom?”Lego asked as soon as Chun got near him. Chun took an envelope from his back pocket, and handed it to him. “You dropped this.” he said. Lego looked at the envelope, and was shocked to see that it was hi acceptance letter from Boston University. “Congratulations for passing. So, you're going to stufy there?” Chun asked. Lego sighed, and snatched the letter from his hand. “You read this?” he asked angrily. “I was curious.”

He put the letter inside his bag, and attempted to leave, but Chun stopped him by holding his arm. “Does Ella know?” Chun asked worriedly. “This isn't something that I have to tell her right away.” Lego said. Chun glared at him. “My best friend is your girlfriend...” Chun hissed at him. Lego glared back at him. “That's the point. You are just Ella's best friend. I am her boyfriend, and I will tell her things when I want to tell her too, at the right time, at the right moment. This isn't something that you can interfere with.” Lego said in a matter-of-fact tone. “If it's something that will break Ella's heart, then I have every right to interfere.”  Chun replied in a firm tone. Lego could only give him a smirk. “Why do you care? If I hurt her or not... it's none of your business... if I stay and be with her, or leave her and study abroad, you don't give a damn.” Lego said.

Chun tightened his grip on him, glaring angrily at his friend. “Ella has the right to know what your decision is.”
“Why do you care? You have already abandoned her, right?”
Chun was taken aback by what he said. “I never abandoned my best friend.” he said, turning away from Lego. “Did you know that she love vanilla ice cream?” Lego said. This time, Chun faced him with a puzzled look on his face. “It's her favorite, right? But she still orders strawberry ice cream. Why? Because of you. Because she knew you would want to have a taste of it, even if you're allergic to it.” Lego said. Slowly, Chun let go of his arm. “She still thinks snowpuff from time to time. She's the dog you gave her right? Have you seen the sad look on her face whenever you wait outside the school gate for Tiffany? When she comes for you and the two of you leave without even waving goodbye to her? Have you seen how frustrated she is trying to answer her math assignment without anyone's help? You never knew a thing about your best friend anymore, Chun. You know why? Because you were too blinded by Tiffany that you barely noticed her existence.” Lego said. 

He felt guilty after hearing what Lego said. He's right, he have taken Ella for granted. “And do you know why she chose me? Because I was giving her the attention she needed from you. So don't tell me that I'll be hurting Ella if I leave. Don't assume that if I leave, Ella will cry her heart out. Believe me, she's stronger that you think think she is. And she'll understand if I will tell her that I have to leave...” Lego added. He gave Chun one last glarem and then left him to ponder about all the things he said. 

--

Saturday came.

Ella and Lego walked inside the cafe, and found Tiffany and Chun together. “Finally! You guys are here!” Tiffany said. She jumped out of her chair, and gave Ella a hug. Ella just smiled faintly at her. “So, shall we go now? Movie starts in 30 minutes!” Tiffany said excitedly. Ella just nodded her head.  They followed Chun and Tiffanny outside then they entered the mall. Ella sighed as they tailed the two. “Why did we agree to go with them?” she asked in an irritated tone. Lego just looked at her, and sighed. Then, he forced a smile on his face. “Hey, this is gonna be fun, baby. We haven't actualy went out on a real date, and a double date with Chun and Tiffany could be fun.” Lego said. “I'm not comfortable around them... it's like they are so caught up with their own little world, as if no one ever exists.” she commented. “Or is it because you're jealous of Tiffany?” Lego asked.

Ella paused, and looked at Lego. “You don't have to deny it Ella. You still love Chun. It's not easy to forget your love for him in a span of two weeks.” Lego said. She looked away from him, feeling guilty because of what he said. “I'm trying my best to stay away from him.”
“Sometimes avoiding the one you love just to forget your feelings for him does not help at all. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“I don't love him anymore.”
“Then can you tell me that you love me?”

Ella looked at him again. She stared at him for a long time. As she was about to open to say something, Tiffany called them. “Ella, Lego! Come on, we've got the tickets!” Tiffany said. Lego could only sigh in frustration. “Let's not talk about this first, Ella. Can we enjoy this date first? I know you're not comfortable being with them, but this is also our date...” he said. “I'm sorry...” she said as she lowered her head. Lego lifter her chin, and smiled at her. “Forgiven. Come on, let's go, all right?” he said. Ella smiled at him, and nodded her head. 

They decided to buy some popcorn before getting inside the cinema. “One cheddar cheese flavored popcorn please!” Both Chun and Ella said at the same time. They looked at each other, then Ella became awkward and looked away from him.  “Ca you put in an extra butter and flavor on the other popcorn?” Chun said. Upon hearing that, Ella looked at him, and glared at him. She hated him for knowing what she liked with her popcorn. “Here you go.” the attendant said. They both reached for their money, and as Ella was about to pay for it, Chun gave the attendant the money. “This is for the two popcorn.” he said. “I didn't ask you to pay for my popcorn.” Ella said in an annoyed tone. “Well, you're welcome.” he said. She snatched the popcorn, and stomped her way inside the cinema. Chun could only shake his head as he watched her best friend get annoyed with him.  

After watching the movie, they went to the department store to buy their dresses for the graduation ball. Tiffany took a black haltered gown from the rack, and tried it on. While waiting for Tiffany, Chun was looking around. He noticed that Ella was having a hard time finding a dress for herself. Then, at the corner of his eye, he saw a pink off-shoulder dress for her. He took it, and then walked up to her. 

“Try this one.” 

Ella looked at the two guys beside her, who was handing her a dress. On her left is Lego, who is handing her a peach tube dress, and on her right is Chun, who have a pink off-shoulder dress on his hand. Ella chose to ignore Chun, and took Lego's dress. “Thanks, baby!” she said. She walked towards the fitting room, and left the two alone. “Nice choice, by the way.” Lego said. Chun glared at him. “That dress is too revealing for her. Ella never wear those kind of dress!” Chun said. Lego just smirked at him. “Then, shall we wait till she's in that dress?” Lego said. 

Minutes have passed, and Tiffany came out of the fitting room to show them how she looked like in her gown. “What do you say, hon?” she asked as she twirled around. Chun gave her a satisfied smile. “You look great on that gown.” he said. Tiffany smiled at him. “Thanks baby! Where's Ella?” she asked. “She's inside, trying out a dress.”  Lego said. 

After a while, Ella got out of the fitting room. “How do I look?” she asked. Chun looked her way,  and in an instant, he was mesmerized with the way his best friend looked. “You look great! You... you look so y!” Lego commented. Upon hearing that, Chun looked angirly at Lego. He felt that he is now respecting Ella with his comment. “Go and get another dress. It's too revealing for you.” Chun ordered. Ella ignored him. “I'm going to get this one then.” she said. “Ella! You can't do that! It's too revealing for you!” Chun said angrily. Ella acted as if she didn't heard him, and went back to the fitting room to change. 

There was an awkward silence between the two for a long time after that. “What's wrong?” Tiffany aksed. “My girlfriend seems not to be in the mood.” Lego answered. Chun could only glare at him. “It's your fault. You shouldn't have given her that dress.” Chun said. It was Ella's turn to glare at him. “Who gave you the right to blame my boyfriend for every action I'm doing?” she asked him. Chun looked angrily at him. “I can't understand you. Why are you acting as if you're not enjoying our company?” 
“I certainly enjoy Tiffany and Lego's company, thank you very much.”
“You're acting as if I don't exist!”
“Oh, you do exist? Am I ignoring you?”
“You've been like that since we bought popcorn! What the hell is wrong with you? Is it wrong now to tell the popcorn guy how you want your popcorn to be?”
“Did I give you the permission to?”

Tiffany's eyes shifted from Chun to Ella and back as they snap back at each other. “Are you fighting?” she asked. “No!” the two of them shouted angrily at her. This shocked Tiffany the most. Ella glared at him upon seeing her reaction. “What?” she asked. “Who told you to shout at my girlfriend?”
“Oh, am I the only one who shouted at Tiffany like that?”
“Chun, Ella, stop it. You're acting like kids!” Lego said.
“I don't understand you anymore, Ella...” Chun said.
“Who told you to understand me, anyways?” Ella said. 
“I don't find a reason for you to act this way towards me, Ella...” Chun said. 

Ella folded her arms, and took a deep breath. “If you have a problem with me, then just tell me, will you?” Chun said. Ella gave him one last glare. Then, she stood up from her seat and walked out to the street. “Chun! Why are you like that to Ella!” Tiffany said angrily. Chun couldn't answer her. “I'm going after her.” Lego said. As lego was about to stand up, Chun got out of his seat, and decided to follow her. Lego could only watch sadly as Chun chase her best friend. 

“Ella! Ella!” Chun shouted at her. Ella is still pissed off at him. She did not head his call, and continued on her way. “Ella Chen! Stop walking, will you!” Chun shouted at her. “Go away!” Ella shouted back at him. She made another step, and was about to cross the the street, when a car sped her way. She almost got hit by it, but Chun was quick and pulled her back to the safe side of the street. Soon, she found herself in his arms. She looked up at him, and she saw him staring at her with tenderness and concern. His gaze could only melt her heart, but she knew she have to keep her anger for Chun still, so that he will stay away from her. “What are you thinking, crossing the street like that? What if that car hit you? Do you know what would happen to you if you got hit by that car?!” Chun said in a worried tone. Ella pushed Chun away from her with all her might. “Stop caring for me, all right?!” Ella shouted at him. Chun was surprised at what she said. “I don't need you, Chun! Not anymore. I don't need you to protect me, or to tell me what the hell to do with my life. I don't need you, period. Stop acting like you're my big brother, and just go on with your life!” she shouted again. 

She turned her back on her, and folded her arms. She wished that what she said or did would be enough for Chun to leave her alone. Then suddenly, she felt his arms wrap around her. “I do... I need you...” he whispered to her. With that, she felt herself stiffen. Her body seems to have melted when he touched her. “If you leave this world, then what about me? I don't know why you're mad at me, but even if you hate me forever, I... I could never leave you like this... I would still need you even if you don't need me anymore...” he said. She turned to face him. She bit her lips as she noticed the tear in his eyes. Then, Chun pulled her into a hug.