Heart’s Longing

I said to myself that I will learn to love him

That he’s more than enough for me

Because he loved me like no other…

But…

Why does my eyes kept on looking for you?

Why does my lips kept on speaking your name?

Why does this heart only beats for you?

--

He took a deep breath, and then reached for the hand of the girl walking beside him. He looked at her, and shyly smiled. They’ve been together for a week now, and he can’t believe that he’s finally with the girl he likes the most. He felt like the luckiest guy on earth, having to walk side by side with this angel. She looked up at him, and let out a cheeky smile. “Ice cream?” she asked. He let out a laugh. As always, Ella would ask him to treat her for some ice cream. “You bet.” He said.

Lego and Ella sat on their usual spot at the ice cream parlor. Secretly, he would glance at Ella as she takes her time reading the menu. “Strawberry ice cream… definitely, it’s gonna be strawberry ice cream again.” He thought with a smile. Whenever they stop by for ice cream, even if Ella is tempted to taste all those wonderful ice cream flavors, she always ends up ordering her classic favorite. Then, the waitress came, and took their orders.  “Strawberry ice cream for me.” Ella said. Lego could only smile, for he got it right again. “And you, Lego?” she asked. “I’ll have choco mint this time.” He said.

After a while, their orders arrived. Lego watched as Ella excitedly dug in to her favorite ice cream. “Why strawberry?” he asked. Ella looked at him, puzzled at his question. “I know it’s a lame question…  but each time we come here to eat, you always order that flavor. So, why is strawberry your favorite?” he asked. “I like color pink.” She said as she put a spoonful in . Then, she giggled. “Actually, my favorite really is vanilla.”

“So why do you always order strawberry?”

“Chun likes strawberry ice cream. But he’s allergic to it… so whenever we eat ice cream, he always order strawberry for me just so he could have a little of it. I grew to like this flavor anyways.”

Lego felt his smile slowly disappearing from his face, and Ella failed to notice is. “So… Chun likes strawberry ice cream?” he asked in a  low voice. “He likes the fact that it’s pink.” She said with a giggle. Even if they’re together now, he felt that Chun is getting in his way to be much closer to Ella. He will always be that ghost that’s always between them. He felt a lump on his throat as he forced a smile on his lips. “I like strawberry ice cream too!” he said. Ella just smiled at him. “Want some?” she asked, offering her cup to him Lego nodded his head, and took a spoonful of it. “Delicioius.” He said as he tasted it. Ella just smiled and continued eating. He leaned back as he watched her with a heavy heart. Maybe winning Ella’s love would be a tough thing to do.

--

“I have an idea!” Tiffany told Ella the next day. Ella looked at her seatmate. “Why don’t we go on a double date this weekend? It would be fun!” she said. Ella just sighed, and shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know…” she said. Tiffany gave her a puzzled look. “Do you have a plan this weekend with Lego?”

“Not that I know of…”

“Then, it’s settled then! Let’s have a double date this weekend. We can watch a movie, or go to the amusement park, or shop! Hey… graduation ball is coming… we can take that opportunity to shop for something to wear!”  

Ella just listened as Tiffany excitedly made the plans for the weekend. She wanted to say no. She wanted to bail out, and lie about having a plan this weekend with Lego. She knew she couldn’t bear seeing Chun and Tiffany, for it would only break her heart even more. Since she got together with Lego, she did her best to avoid her best friend. She knew she’s already at the point of getting over him, and she knew that if she saw him again, she would fall for him over again, and all her efforts to forget her feelings for him would be wasted.

“What do you say, Ella? It would be fun! I can help you find a dress for the graduation ball!” Tiffany said. Ella looked at her again, and let out a faint smile. “I… I’ll think about it, all right?” she said. Tiffany nodded her head, and then went back to her seat.

--

Boston University.

Lego stared at the writing on the envelope he is holding. His hands were shaking as he held it. He knew he have always wanted to get into this university, but he’s scared to leave everything behind, especially Ella.

“Lego, anything wrong?” he heard someone asked. He immediately put the envelope in his back pocket, and turned around. He saw Chun walking up to him. “Nothing.” He said. Chun gave him a worried look. “Did my best friend fought with you?” he asked. Lego shook his head. “We’re perfectly fine…” he answered. Chun just smiled and nodded his head. “Anyway… the girls wanted to go out this weekend. Are you free?” Chun asked. Lego gave him a confused look. “I mean, Tiffany and Ella…”

“Ella haven’t mentioned anything to me yet…”

“Maybe she just forgot. They want us to go on a double dat. And accompany them to buy their dress for the graduation ball.”

Lego nodded his head. “I’m in, don’t worry.” He said. Chun let out a big smile. “Great! I can’t wait to see Ella on Saturday!” he said. “Hey, you know what? Mr. Tang wanted me to help him out with some quizzes. I’ll catch you later, all right?” Lego said. He waved goodbye at Chun, and ran to the faculty room. Little did he know, the letter fell from his pocket, and Chun noticed it. He took the letter from the floor, and looked at it. “Letter from Boston University?” Chun thought. He looked at the direction where Lego is going, and then he stared back at the letter. Curious, he opened it, and was surprised to read it’s content.

--

“Awww… look at that cute puppy!” Ella said as she looked from outside the window of the pet store. She and Lego were taking a stroll that afternoon after school, and they passed by the pet shop. “It’s really cute! Just like you.” Lego said. Ella giggled at him. “Sweet talker!” she said. She looked at the window again, and watched as the puppy plays by himself. “You know what, I used to have a dog…” she began. “She was a pug, and she’s really really cute. I call her Snowpuff. I think she was with me since I was in fifth grade…”

Lego looked at Ella, and saw the sad look on her face. “She was like my second best friend. Every morning, she would jump into my bed, and me till I wake up. When I come home from school, I would always play with her. She is very special to me… I thought I could keep her forever… but then one day, Snowpuff got sick. We took care of her, and even had her see the veterinarian… I thought she will get well after that, but then… a few days later… she died…” she said. Lego held her hand as she speaks. “For weeks, I kept on crying for her loss… until one day… I finally stopped.”

“Why?”

Ella smiled at him. “Because I realized that even if she’s gone, she will always be here in my heart. We have memories together. Maybe… maybe Snowpuff became my guardian dog angel…” she said. Lego couldn’t help but laugh at what she said. “And… I’m thankful that for a short period of time, Snowpuff made me happy. Her mission on earth here is over, and that’s why God took her from me.” She said. Lego smiled at her, and cupped her cheeks. “You’re a strong girl…” he said. She shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll get through it all without Chun’s help. He was the one who told me those things. He was by my side when I was grieving for her death… he helped me through it all…” she said.

Lego was taken aback by what she said. He could feel his heart breaking upon hearing her say his name again. “Did you know, Chun was the one who gave me Snowpuff for my 10^th birthday. She was like the third member of our gang. He was sad too when Snowpuff died… we both cried together when we found out that Snowpuff died.” She said. Lego just took a deep breath, and tried to smile.

He feels hurt that Ella would always unintentionally speak of something about Chun and their memories. He wanted to get all of her attention, but in the end, she would remember something about him. He couldn’t blame her, after all, they were best friends. But it’s her best friend that’s being a hindrance for him to be much closer to her, and make her love him. He doesn’t even know if he can make her forget her feelings for him, when all she talks about is Chun.

He was silent as they walked home. As they reached her gate, Ella turned to him, and smiled. “Thanks for a wonderful day, Lego.” She said. “I’ll see you tomorrow then...” he said. Ella nodded her head. He leaned down on her, and gave her a kiss on her forehead. “I love you…” he said. She just looked at him. She knew it’s easy to say those words, but she can’t tell him she loves him too, if it’s not what her heart feels. She knew she had been constantly hurting him by not replying, but she doesn’t want to lie to him. “Thank you.” She replied. Lego sighed, and nodded her head. He turned around, and walked away from her, feeling defeated, because for the nth time, he failed to hear those three words from Ella.

Meanwhile, Chun was standing outside his house, watching Ella and Lego together. Still, he couldn’t help but feel jealous whenever he sees them together. What hurts him the most is that as soon as she got together with Lego, she was starting to ignore him.  As soon as Lego left, he gathered up his courage, and walked up to her. “Ella…” he called. Ella stopped walking, and turned to face her. She felt her heart beating fast as he got nearer to her. “Hey… how are you?” he asked. She looked away from him, avoiding his eyes. “Why are you avoiding me, Ella? Was there something I’ve done? Was it because of the last time? If you must know… Lego and I talked and – “

“It’s not that, Chun.” Ella interrupted. “I’m… busy… lately… and…”

“Too busy to say hi to your best friend?”

Slowly, Ella looked up at him, and she could see the hurt look on his face. “You’ve been with Lego for more than a week now. You’ve been spending too much time with him…”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Tiff as well…”

“And when I try to get close to you, you avoid me…”

“I… I’m just busy.”

Chun looked into her eyes, and then held her hand. “I miss you…” he said. “I miss you so much… that it hurts…”