“Really? Lee Hayi won the Best Rookie award?” Bom asked as she fixed her stud earring. Minzy, Dara and Youngbae all listened as Chaerin told them the news. “Yeah! She was amazing!” The female leader said as she fixed her things on her bag.

 

The others didn’t have the chance to watch the performance but Chaerin passed by the auditorium when she was on her way back after getting some vitamin water and fortunately heard the news. “That adds to our wins then.” Dara said before she sat beside Youngbae who was going to drive the girls to The Joker.

 

For the past four days of the competition, YG has indeed gathered speed and snatched titles all over the place. Best Dance Crew, Female Group, Male Group, Duo, Trio, Female artist, Male artist, etc.

 

“I’ll just go get my sneakers from the locker room.” Chaerin said before leaving.

 

“What do you think?” Bom asked their maknae since Dara was quite busy playing with Youngbae. The youngest raised her brow as her unnie spun around to show her outfit. As usual, she was wearing a really short dress which quite don’t match with Minji and Dara’s hip hop clothes at the moment.

 

“You look pretty, unnie.” Minji said as she smiled. Bom sighed and said, “I know. But I was not talking about the dress—the earrings, maknae?” she looked at her unnie’s ears and noticed that they were a different pair. Her left ear had a Chrome Hearts stud earring while the right one had a dangling cross. “It’s nice and don’t really look awkward or anything… Aigoo, you should ask Chaerin-unnie. I’m not the fashion critic here.” Minji said as she awkwardly scratched her head.

 

Bom just childishly stomped her heels and turned to face the mirror, and unfortunately saw the vase where the red carnations still stood proudly. Bom frowned.

 

It had been two days ever since Chaerin put it there – in their studio. Not that she had any wrong thoughts about the flowers or Chaerin, but something was quite off. “Youngbae,” Bom called and she didn’t even continue her words until he stopped playing with Dara and replied.

 

“Where is Jiyong?” She asked him and saw the other girls look at each other. “To think of it, I haven’t really seen him yesterday. At least not for long.” Dara seconded.

 

“Yeah, and he didn’t even visit our practice today too. Jiyong-oppa only shows up when it’s time to go home.” Minji added.

 

Youngbae didn’t really know what to say and that was shame enough. He was supposed to be the one to know his whereabouts because he was Jiyong’s best man. But he has his own guess, “I think he’s with Sohee right now.”

 

Bom frowned to this and was clearly not happy with what she heard. Something was going on, and Chaerin didn’t even look perturbed. Something about those red carnations definitely smelled fishy.

 

“I don’t understand Jiyongie at all!” Dara said as she slumped. “He’s been all sweet and caring with Chaerin for so long that I thought he has special feelings for her, but then with Sohee around he disappeared like a puff of smoke.”

 

Exactly. Bom thought as Dara voiced her own words. “Ever since the red carnations too, Jiyong-oppa became a little bit distant. But, Youngbae-oppa, unnie,” Minji called and all three looked at her. “Ahn Sohee was Jiyong-oppa’s girlfriend for almost two years, what made the broke up?”

 

It was an innocent question of course. But what really happened was quite a blur and only Youngbae knew. The girls looked at him and waited for an explanation.

 

“Well,” He sighed. “Jiyong courted her for half a year and when they got into the relationship, he was really happy. Even when they entered the first year of their relationship you could see that he was madly in love with Sohee. But then something happened within the second year that things began going down.”

 

Youngbae remembered the times where he saw Jiyong fell out and he found it wrong. “Sohee was his, as you girls call it, his first love. I too don’t know what really happened but Jiyong fell out of love. As I know, first loves don’t really fade that fast but you could have seen him… The Jiyong that Sohee loved was suddenly gone in a snap, as if he never fell in love with her.

 

“He forgot their dates, forgot that he had to take her home, forgot to call or text her but he never called it quits and that was the wrong part. He was still in a relationship but never did say that they should end it up until Sohee finally had the chance to finish things up when the Wonder Girls were called to train abroad. So, what makes Jiyong spend this much time to his ex is a question and we might never find the answer to this.”

 

Youngbae looked down to avoid the gaze that the three members gave him. “If he’s only spending time with her because he misses her then that’s fine, but if he’s falling in love all over again…”

 

“ it!” The three looked at Bom who just stomped so hard and swore. “He can’t be falling in and out of love that fast because he’s making everybody confused! What does he think of my Chaerinnie? A play thing he could have when he’s bored and just throw away when he’s favorite toy comes back fixed?”

 

Dara and Minji frowned because their eldest was right.

 

If he’s really after their leader’s heart then he better get things done. Just then, before Dara could swear too and say something Chaerin went back in with a pair of Adidas sneakers. “Um, guys – I think I’d stay in here for a while. I remembered I’d need to finish the choreography the twins asked me about so, yeah, I can’t come to The Joker.” She said with a smile as she unpacked her bag.

 

“What do you mean Rinnie?” Dara asked as Youngbae took the liberty to take the girls’ bags to avoid further inspection. “Yeah, Chae. Aren’t you tired?” Bom asked as she shrugged off her worried tone.

 

“Unnie, let’s just go and party! I’ll talk to the twins tomorrow, okay?” Minji added.

 

Chaerin offered a grin which said all the things she needed to say. The girls knew this. When she grins like that it meant she won’t be swayed no matter what. She will finish the choreography now, period.

 

Bom put a hand on her shoulder, “Okay then, Chaerin-ah be strong okay! Don’t stay up too late and call us when you need help.” The other girls knew that there was another meaning to what Bom said.

 

Chaerin, be strong. Don’t stay up too late waiting and thinking about him. Call us when you need to.

 

But of course, she doesn’t need to know this.

 

Each of them gave their leader a tight squeeze then said their goodbye’s. She even watched them through their studio’s window and waved her final goodbye before giving a worried sigh.

 

The girls are worried. She thought before looking at the red carnations. She had heard their conversations. She had heard how Jiyong fell out of love as fast as he could say that he loves the girl. She wondered all over again if she could afford to bet her not-so-fixed heart to a guy who seem to be as untamed as the wind.

 

But if she won’t gamble away, what will she do to those unreleased feelings?

 

“I shall just wait and see.” Chaerin put on the music and started to dance all over again.

 

She’ll just have to deal with it all over again.

 

Just like how she killed the feelings she thought she had for Jay Park.

 

**

 

Jiyong sighed as he watched the waiters go to and fro, taking orders. It started raining. Did Chaerin go home already? He thought as he fought the urge to grab his phone and dial the number he knew by heart. Or he could just ask Youngbae.

 

He grabbed his phone but hesitated. Youngbae will be interrogated by the women, He thought, it’s safer for him not to know.

 

He sighed again and kept his phone.

 

“If you’re worried about her then you should just go to her you know.” A woman’s voice snapped him back to reality and he realized, again, that he was with Ahn Sohee. He just smirked and played it right. “What do you mean, Sohee?”

 

He continued smirking as he played his finger on the rim of his tea cup. Sohee only looked at him and shook her head. “You know, I should get some credits here.”

 

She smiled when she turned her eyes back to the streets and left Jiyong wondering. If he was playing dumb then he was stupid.

 

“I was your girlfriend two years ago you know, and even with that fact gone, I’m still your friend. I know you, Kwon Jiyong. You’re worried about that girl.” She looked at him and saw that his playful aura was gone. “Lee Chaerin.”

 

When she said the name, she found that his finger stopped playing with the rim. He wasn’t used to people mentioning his feelings towards Chaerin, but to hear it from his ex girlfriend, then he was getting more and more obvious.

 

And it wasn’t good.

 

“You told me that Teddy-oppa put her on your hands, so shouldn’t you be looking for her right now? The weather looked like it won’t stop raining soon.” Sohee said as she observed the drops of rain on her window side.

 

Truth to be told, he was really worried. Youngbae texted him earlier that Chaerin didn’t go with them to the club, so she’s alone at school.

 

Red Carnations…

 

Oh, he has a big idea who sent her the flowers and seeing her smile like that didn’t make it better. She told him that Jay Park hurt her, but why did she smile like that then? Hurting people just don’t smile like that when the person who hurt you sent them flowers that was supposed to mean admiration.

 

So what? Is she liking Jay Park all over again?

 

Jiyong knew he can’t face her with that kind of attitude. She had been all bright these past days when he was busy accommodating Ahn Sohee and her group. He’s angry that she doesn’t even look that she missed him. The flowers made her happy… She even displayed it to where everybody could see it.

 

He’ll just snap at her if he’s feeling all green with jealousy. And that’s another reason why he can’t see her. Kwon Jiyong was jealous. He was jealous and he didn’t even have the right to feel that.

 

He looked at Sohee and saw her still looking at the rain outside the café. Did I ever feel jealous before? No. He never felt jealous with a guy who would come around Sohee because he knew she would be harmless. And he was never intimidated.

 

But Lee Chaerin and Jay Park was another topic. Chaerin, especially when she summons CL, is very harmful and could break his heart if she so choose. Jay, was friends with her in a level he would never hope in reaching so he could tell that in more ways than one, he was intimidated.

 

He remembered how he became cold to Sohee as they enter their second year of relationship. It was the time when he came back from New York. The time when he met the broken Lee Chaerin.

 

He just smirked sadly and thought how she captured his heart with tears streaming down her face. Therefore, he should never be surprised if she could kill him with just a smile.

 

See how dangerous Lee Chaerin is, Kwon Jiyong? His inner G-Dragon persona asked of him and he couldn’t further agree. He sighed and said, “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

 

Sohee smiled and said, “Only if you promise to look for her. A girl shouldn’t suffer this kind of weather you know.” Jiyong just smiled and nodded. If only you knew how much of a girl she could be, you’d be surprised.

 

He led her out of the café when they bumped into a group of guys. Three guys actually, all drenched to the bones as if waiting for the moment to arrive where G-Dragon and the girl steps out of the café.

 

It was a man’s instinct to protect a woman, so Jiyong stepped in front of Sohee and asked the guys of what they want. The guy in front, Jiyong recognized him as Block-B’s B-Bomb said “You’ve been invited by our leader for a battle.”

 

Jiyong, no, G-Dragon smirked in delight with the announcement and couldn’t wait to say yes. But before he could say anything, the second guy, Taeil added, “He’ll be waiting at The Joker tonight.” The maknae, P.O as he was called also said, “Bring your group because Zico will be doing it the traditional way.” And with a smirk, the three Block-B members went away.

 

G-Dragon wanted to smirk and follow them to get the competition done. However, he had to refuse. He can’t go, not because he was afraid of the other leader but because he promised Chaerin that he won’t go to the battle in case Zico sends the proper invite. It was also because he wanted to avoid the chain of scandals and controversies that were to follow and besides, he would still win.

 

Because fact is, Zico is good. But if he wanted to beat G-Dragon, then he needs to be more than excellent to even pass.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re coming?” Sohee asked him, worried of what he might think of doing. Of course she knew. She knew that when G-Dragon was challenged, things get burn.

 

And that burn lasted for weeks.

 

**

 

The music stopped and her tired body hit the floor like a log falling. Her breathing was deep and slow and sweat covered every inch of her body.

 

She looked at the clock and noticed it was well past nine, it’s too early. Yes, it was too early to go back home and, for her, it was too late to join the others at the club. She slowly sat herself up as her breathing slowed down. “It’s no use.” She said. It was no use of tiring herself to death when her thoughts won’t clear because of what she heard.

 

Sohee was his first love…

 

But if he’s falling in love all over again…

 

Chaerin sighed and brushed her fringe off her forehead, then met her own gaze on the mirror.

 

CL was looking back at her, and the female rapper doesn’t look amused on how Chaerin looked. The girl was becoming weak and vulnerable to those feelings. You can’t be weak, Lee Chaerin. CL whispered. Those feelings will eat you up one day.

 

Of course, her alter ego was right. Her emotions are too strong that when kept in just one point in time, it could damage her beyond repair. And she had learned her lesson not to become that damaged.

 

Because she had worked her off to be back and more – if she will fall again, then the humiliation and fault was on her.

 

Her eyes fell on the red carnations. What are you up to, Jay? She remembered how scared and confused she was when she saw him again. It was actually weird how mixed her emotions that certain night but then when she received his flowers, there was a sudden hint of joy and hope in her chest that she can’t explain.

 

What those feelings were for, she had no idea but she knew happiness when she felt it. The smile and the blush were genuine enough that she didn’t even notice Jiyong moving away.

 

The flowers made her happy for quite some time that she forgot about Jiyong. It wasn’t a conscious act for her to do nor was it triggered of any jealousy intent but she just did. It’s not that the blame was all on her, he did forget about her too.

 

The past is haunting the both of you…

 

And it all took a single bouquet of red carnations.

 

She heard the door open but didn’t dare to look back. Instead, she waited for the person to enter so she could see his reflection on the mirror.

 

“Oh, sorry – I didn’t know that this studio was being used.” A male voice echoed through the walls which made her eyes wide in surprise and turn her head towards the newcomer.

 

There in the door frame was Jay Park with the same shocked expression that she has. The tension was almost blinding, the silence – deafening.

 

It was until minutes later that he dared to break it. “Um, I’m sorry for disturbing. I’ll just…” He tore his gaze and attempted to leave. “I’ll just go.”

 

“No!” She was up on her feet in a snap when she found him walking out. He turned and she hurried to get her things. “I’ll leave. I, I’ve been using this studio for a while now and I need to be getting home.” She tried to brush off the nervous-school-girl act but she can’t.

 

She was still wiping her sweat when she moved passed him and he allowed her to leave.

 

Jay watched her walk away from him and sighed that he let a chance go all over again. Then his eyes noticed the red carnations…

 

She kept them…

 

Chaerin’s stride turned into a sudden run, her thoughts finally blank except to the idea that she needed to get away as fast as possible. Her heart was suddenly caught up in a grip that she was starting to be confused again.

 

It was a chance to finally talk to him, but then nervousness caught up to her and she chickened out.

 

She could finally see the door when she heard him call her name. She slowed down and only stopped when she was already outside – to her alas though, it was raining hard.

 

Was destiny playing on her that much that they stopped her from further running away? She only sighed as she felt his presence beside her and silently calmed her wild beating heart.

 

Alright, whatever you do – don’t start the conversation. CL whispered again and Chaerin followed her command. Her hands where trembling while she clutched on the strap of her big bag. She only hears the continuous rain dropping on the ground and their breathing.

 

If only it was a whole level quieter, she could have heard her heart beating ferociously as well.

 

But she only heard him sigh and before she knew it, a jacket was dropped on her.

 

Then he walked back inside, leaving her with yet confused thoughts for her to figure out.

 

He used to do this. She thought. Jay used to do this.

 

When they go home late before and would have to run under the rain, Jay would always give her his cap or his jacket at least to protect her from the rain and from the strong winds.

 

It was confusing how he still could do the same habit even if they parted with such misunderstanding and hurting dialogue. It was confusing how she could feel his care even with only the jacket. She wanted to cry because the tightness was beginning to hurt.

 

She let go of the strap and held unto his jacket before having the courage to finally run under the rain that would hide her tears away.

 

If it was happiness, or confusion – she would never know.

 

But one thought was on her mind, does he still care then?

 

 

A/N: I promised that I won’t update BFTS for a while until I finish Secondhand Love, but since it is my first year anniversary here in AFF, I would be making an exemption so here it is :) What do you think? Will the past haunt our leaders then? Who will they choose? What is Jay Park doing?

 

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