For the past few weeks, Sua had been practically living with Siyeon. Who could blame her? Her day started with sugary love and ended with sugary love, sometimes ending with a passionate one. It was consistent and she could never get sick of it. Even any changes that Siyeon had implemented in the routines was heart-fluttering.

“Good morning↗️ my winter baby~ How are you doing today? Are you eating well? Your mommy makes very good food, do you know that?” Siyeon hovered her face above Sua’s belly, gazing at her skin so intensely as if her gaze would penetrate her skin. 

It was something Sua had called, ‘Baby talking.’ It was very entertaining and loving. Sua would sometimes be a little jealous at how much love Siyeon was showering Gahyeon with.

She only stopped the baby talking until she felt a kick against her hand, or sensed some sort of bulging pressure. She would then press gentle kisses all over her skin, kissing her good morning.

If they had dinner together, Siyeon would do the same,

First kicking off her shoes, draping her suit jacket over the chair and kneeling on the ground to come level with the baby. “Hello Gahyeonie~~ I’m back from work and miss you and your mom very much. She cooked tteokbokki today, my favourite! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.” Her heart eyes shined as she pressed kisses against her bump again. 

Siyeon had evolved into a person preparing for parenthood, and Sua didn’t expect it at all. She only fell harder and harder each day. From the beginning she had been considerate, but there was change in her motivation and mindset that was becoming more visible each day. 

On one of the many evenings they shared together, some important topics arose at the table.

“Eonnie,” Siyeon started, after swallowing a spoonful of her stew. 

Being with her for a while, Sua learned Siyeon addresses her as ‘eonnie’ if she had something informative, serious or important to say. All the other times, it would be ‘Bora’.

“Yes?’’

“What do you think of moving in with me?” Siyeon proposed.

Sua had expected this. She had thought of it when she found herself hanging her laundry in Siyeon’s laundry room. It showed how much of her things were moved here. 

“I like that.” Sua met Siyeon’s eyes confidently. “I basically have half my wardrobe here.” She joked. 

A chuckle escaped Siyeon. Her seriousness returned as she moved to sit next to Sua, taking her hands off her cutlery to hold her hands.

“Eonnie,” She looked deeply into her eyes, Sua could see her sincerity, “I need you to know that I want this, you, the baby, and will do everything I can to make it work. I want a future with you.” 

Her words weighed heavier in her heart than she imagined, throwing her back to the past.

She thought of the time Jun left without a word; not a word left about her, not a word left about her baby. 

She thought of the reaction she received from her parents; not a word of love to their oldest daughter, not a word of love to her baby, but leaving her at the door instead.

The people she needed the most abandoned her. 

She was stupid to hope that they were going to feel sorry and reach out to her after she left but not once did they contact her. 

Forget Jun, his selfish act of leaving spoke volumes.

She thought of her friends that helped her move to this town, to turn a new leaf and leave her traumatic past buried in her hometown.

But it never gets buried away. It haunts her. 

When she hears about Seulgi’s visit back to her hometown or Hongseok’s, she imagines how hers could have been. When she sees fathers at malls taking care of their babies, she thinks first of raising her baby alone, secondly thinking of Jun, if he had children now or what kind of father he could have been.

Such observations may go unnoticed by many, but can also crush many. Sua was one of those that was crushed. 

Maybe that’s why she was not confident of her relationship with Siyeon. Maybe she thought that she wasn’t fit for Siyeon. Maybe she was afraid that Siyeon wouldn’t really love her - words only mean so much. Actions may mean more, but she can’t recognise them if she herself didn’t believe in it. In them. 

These thoughts brewed unconsciously, coming up to the surface during important moments. 

Siyeon had been calmly staring at her for the past few minutes, wondering where Sua’s attention went. Her eyes had gazed past her, sadness suddenly swirling in them. She caressed her hands softly, wondering if she said something wrong. Unsure of what to do, she simply sat there. 

She brought herself back to the present when she felt Siyeon’s concerned squeeze of her hands. Touch was the only sense that could calm her now. 

She collapsed into Siyeon.

The latter held her gently against her, confused but reciprocated. She felt Sua’s shaky breaths against her, so she held her closer, rubbing her back in a soothing manner.

Sua willed herself to hold her tears back. The rushing memories were almost impossible for her to bear. She thought that she would always get over it, move on, but no one ever really moves on. 

She had to accept that. And appreciate any fortunate opportunities life offers. 

That was Siyeon to her. Months ago when they met, now, at the dining table as she held her dear and close, in the future, when she’s carrying their child and kissing her under the stars. 

Her future was Siyeon. 

“Bora?” Siyeon murmured when she felt Sua’s breathing return to normal. 

Sua straightened up, slightly groggy, but she had an answer. 

“I want a future with you too.”

The grin that stretched across Siyeon’s face was like none other, she could almost feel the tears spring to her eyes.

“You’re mine Bora, all mine.” She cradled her face in her hands preciously and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Sua grinned back up at her, the heaviness in her heart slowly lifting. 

:

Considering their situation now, it was possible for Sua to move in immediately, they would just have to decide on whether or not to give up the flat or rent it out. 

“I can cover our living expenses just fine,” Siyeon did the calculations on her laptop, an extensive list of bills and prices she had assembled over a variety of areas displayed across her screen. “However, the money from renting the flat out would be worth it to save up.” 

Sua nodded in agreement. “It won’t be much but over the years it will amount to something decent. We also need to start budgeting for Gahyeon…? She would need a lot of supplies and we’d have to think of her nursery school, kindergarten… ” She questioned if this big of a commitment was too soon for Siyeon. For both of them.

Siyeon kissed her furrowed brows assuringly. “Relax honey,” The pet name slipped out naturally, Sua reacted to it with a surprised grin, her cheeks red. “We got this.” Siyeon caressed her cheek lovingly.

“As for raising Gahyeon,” Siyeon cleared , “I admittedly am very nervous, as I have spent little time with children in my life. But the bigger concern is my work, I fear that I may not be home long enough to care for the two of you.’’ She pursed her lips.

“Will we be alright if I don’t work? I mean my maternity leave will be paid but I’m not sure I’ll go right back to work after giving birth; after all I’d be caring for the baby.’’

“According to the law, you will receive 90 days of paid leave, 45 days of which will be used after giving birth. I’d say we play by ear and if you need more time at home with Gahyeon or want to give up work, I’ll see what I can do to ensure our financial stability. It should be alright.” Siyeon typed on a blank document, noting things of concern and interest. “You are already working less now right?

“Yes. The cramps are no joke.”

“Do you know when you’re due? A rough estimation?” Siyeon asked.

Sua didn’t have to think about this one. “Early February.”

Siyeon’s eyes widened. She checked the calendar. “That’s…” She counted the months to go, “3 months away!” She turned to Sua in awe, slightly open.

“It seems so.” Sua patted her bump; hers didn’t grow as big as she thought it would, as she’s seen online.

Siyeon tried to contain her excitement, lightly pressing her face against the bump. “I can’t wait to meet you in three months Gahyeon!”

Sua giggled as it tickled, “I can’t wait to see her too~” She let out a yawn. 

It didn’t go unnoticed. “Should we sleep?” She saw the time was 10.35pm. “It is kinda late.”

Sua shook her head mid-yawn, leaning into Siyeon again. “I still want to talk about other stuff.” 

“What is it honey?” Siyeon snuggled her under her arm. “Are you thinking about you and me when the baby’s here?”

“How’d you know?” Sua feigned a horrified expression. “I like the private time we have together now.”

Siyeon shook her head. “We can always get a nanny, or maybe JiU and Yoohyheon would want to try.” She chuckled at the thought.

Sua laughed heartily, “That’s true, I think I’d like a postpartum helper. I’ve seen services like that. They help you cook, change diapers, and clean the house..” She trailed off as fatigue consumed her more.

“That sounds like a dream in three months' time. I’ll check it out for us.” Siyeon typed that in and saved the document, knowing they should both get some rest. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Sing.” She leaned against her shoulder as the latter carried her into the bedroom.

Siyeon tried to hide her quickened breathing with a quick smile. Just recently, she thought of going to the gym to be able to increase her physical strength, to help Sua when she needed it, and also to carry Gahyeon. She had never really properly developed her physical strength before. 

“Life would find a way for you to meet me and we’d be together no matter what.” Siyeon laid her down.

Sua stretched the pillow open, so that she could cuddle into Siyeon while using the pillow to support her.

Siyeon draped an arm over her waist, allowing Sua to rest her head on her shoulder. 

“We will be just fine.” She murmured as they both closed their eyes.

Sua interlaced their hands. “I believe so too.”

~