I woke up slowly, the white light stinging my eyes.
Scanning my surroundings, I quickly noticed that I was in the hospital.
I breathed out in despair, so I'm not dead.
I guess my sister found me. Honestly I'm not really happy to be alive, I really wanted to join my mother.
My room was empty, no one was there, I was alone again.
Maybe twenty minutes passed before a man in a white coat walked into the room. 
The man I assumed to be a doctor spoke up:
-Good morning Mr. Kang, you are finally awake.
-Good morning, I have been asleep for a long time?
-Yes, you were rushed here four days ago and have been unconscious ever since.
-Oh, who notified the emergency services? I was quite curious to know if it was my sister who saved me.
-It was a young man who called, said the doctor.
-Oh a young man? I asked surprised.
-Yes, they have been coming every day since, hoping that you would wake up. Your sister came too, I think.
I nodded my head.
Maybe Seonghwa finally listened to my voice mail and called for help.
-Speaking of your sister, she is in the waiting room, do you want her to come in? 
-Yes, I would like that.
With that, the doctor his heels and reappeared some time later with my sister.
She rushed to my bedside.
-Oh my god Yeosang! You scared me so much! I thought we would lose you too.
She sobbed at the edge of my bed and I was surprised to feel an ounce of guilt.
-When I told appa he was devastated, he wanted to come see you but you know he went with his brother to Japan and I didn't want him to make the whole trip back stressed out, so I assured him that you were fine and that I was going to stay with you the whole time.
-I didn't know that Appa had gone to Japan.
-Oh I didn't tell you? Sorry it must have slipped my mind.
Once again I was forgotten.
-I really didn't think you were going to try to kill yourself or I would have stayed with you.
She lowered her head, probably feeling sad or guilty.
-Noona it's not your fault, you can never really predict what's going to happen.
She didn't seem to be listening to me, and then she spoke up again:
-I was really surprised to get a call from Seonghwa you know? 
Suddenly I was really interested in what she was saying.
-He called me in a total panic saying that he couldn't reach you and that he was a bit worried, I thought that you were probably still asleep and that there was nothing to worry about but then I found out with shock, firstly the door of my apartment was totally smashed and secondly I learned that you had attempted suicide. Technically it's more the other way around, I found out about the suicide attempt before the door but it looked better in my head.
My sister is a real chatterbox, once she starts talking, she doesn't stop.
-And guess who broke my door? It was San of course! But I don't blame him, after all he saved your life with his boyfriend.
-San? It was San who found me?
-Yes it was, I told Seonghwa that you stayed at my place, they must have asked San and the other one to go check on you.
-Are you talking about Wooyoung? 
-Yes of course I'm talking about him, he came several times but I always refused to let him into your room, he looked like a poor beaten dog but he deserved it after all.
-Do you know that this bastard made you throw up, it's totally disgusting! He stuck his muddy fingers in your royal mouth, it disgusts me.
-Yeah but I think it saved me.
She looked me up and down, slightly disgusted.
-I heard you woke up at some point in the bathroom, do you remember that? 
-No, I didn't.
-Yes you did, you were high on sleeping pills. 
She giggled softly, I think it's her way of releasing her stress, she talks a lot and makes the situation lighter by making it laughable.
Half an hour passed before my sister had to leave to join her boyfriend apparently, luckily she told appa that she would be with me the whole time.
So I found myself alone again in my room looking at the ceiling.
Tired as much mentally as physically I decided to sleep, even if this time I knew I was going to wake up.

***

-Hush!
-Be quiet, you'll wake him up!
-Wooyoung where is the chicken?
-I gave it to Mingi.
-You know very well that Mingi sulks because he's not happy to be here.
-It's not my fault he's acting like a child.
-I don't think you have to say anything about it.
-No, we're not starting a new argument.
-I told you hyung that I didn't want him to come with us! He'll ruin the surprise.
-Well great, thanks, I'm really enjoying it.
-I hope you take it badly, Yeosang won't be happy to see him.
-I wonder how he hasn't woken up yet, you're screaming all over the room.
-Maybe it's because the sleeping pills are still working.
-Well Mingi it's either you sulk all the time or you get out.
-It's okay, I didn't say anything.
-You're such a bad joke we don't need it.
-I was just trying to lighten the mood.
-Come on Mingi shut up, you'll lighten the mood at home.
-Stop it, we don't want to know what you are going to do at home.
-Like San and Wooyoung.
-What does that mean? We're not doing anything? 
-Of course, make us believe that you are looking at each other.
-Well, stop! We still haven't found the chicken.
Finally after deciding that I had enjoyed this very interesting conversation enough, I opened my eyes and fell face to face with the seven boys all around my bed.
Seonghwa was leaning against my bed and holding my hand.
Mingi, Yunho, San and Wooyoung seemed to be arguing and poor Hongjoong was trying to stop them while looking for something, probably the chicken.
Jongho was standing near the door, clearly annoyed by the situation, but above all he was looking very coldly at Wooyoung.
Normally I would have been annoyed to see all of them, but at this moment I was so exhausted that I didn't really care.
I noticed the chicken package on a table in the corner of the room.
I weakly raised my arm to point to the chicken and said:
-I think the chicken is over there.
At my words, they all turned to the chicken.
Hongjoong huffed.
-How stupid we are, who put it there?
His gaze went to Wooyoung, but he raised his arms innocently.
-It was me, said a deep voice.
-And you couldn't tell us, Mingi?
-I forgot I'd put it there.
Everyone looked at him, bewildered.
Honestly, the scene was quite comical.
Hongjoong turned to me.
-I'm really sorry the surprise is ruined, he said.
-Talk about a surprise, said Mingi.
-Even more so with Wooyoung, Jongho added.
-But it's not true that you really have a problem with me! Wooyoung shouted.
-Yes, I do have a problem with you and you know very well why, Jongho answered.
-And you also know very well why I did it.
-For me you have no excuse and yours is really not valid.
-Yes, I know, okay? I feel bad too, but what's done is done.
-But that doesn't mean that the consequences disappear, he could very well have died! 
Everyone froze at his words and I lowered my head, yes I really would have preferred to die.
-Why don't we change the subject? Seonghwa asked gently, clearly seeing my discomfort.
-How are you doing Yeosang? Hongjoong asked me.
-I'm fine, I said softly.
-You don't really look fine, Seonghwa said beside me.
-He tried to kill himself, Hyung, how can he be okay? 
-You shut up now Jongho or you get out, Hongjoong scolded.
I lowered my head, actually I'm rather uncomfortable because Wooyoung is there and I can't really look him in the eye. 
Thinking about him makes me want to cry.
I didn't even realize it but a tear ran down my cheek.
-Oh no Yeosangie please don't cry.
Seonghwa wiped the tear from my face with his hand.
-Is it Jongho who makes you feel uncomfortable? 
I hid my head in my hands and shook it gently.
-Jagiya, you have to tell us what's wrong, please.
I took my head out of my hands and looked at my two hyungs in front of me.
Gathering my courage, I said:
-I want Wooyoung to go away.
The room was suddenly very quiet.
I saw Jongho holding back from saying something and then Wooyoung left the room with his head down.
At that moment I felt really bad, I didn't want to hurt him but I was so angry at him.
Finally I said:
-I am really sorry.
-What are you sorry for Yeosang.
I raised my head, surprised to see Yunho in front of me, waiting for my answer.
-I didn't want to make him sad.
-Wooyoung? 
I nodded my head.
-You know Yeosang, you're really too good, Wooyoung did something despicable that you really didn't deserve. Jongho is quite right, he has no excuses, he should never have done that and yet he did it and look where you are now. Wooyoung was the straw that broke the camel's back and made you want to kill yourself. We were all shocked when we heard what he did and yet, you today, who are in the hospital because you wanted to take your life, you are sad and sorry for hurting Wooyoung, it should be him who should be apologizing and not you. We were all very mean to you and if you knew how much we felt, we should never have done this to you and yet I'm sure that if we apologized to you right now, you would accept our apology and not even try to get back at us. So yes you tried to create a reputation of being untouchable, the big KYS is mean and doesn't care about others, but deep inside this cold rapper, I know that the Yeosang we know so well is still there and I also know that this Yeosang is looking forward to the return of his friends because he feels so lonely. You would even be ready to become friends with Mingi and Wooyoung again without a second thought. But we, from now on, promise you that we will never let you down again, you can take as much time as you want but you can be sure that we will always be there no matter what happens, said Yunho, with tears in his eyes.
It took me maybe ten seconds to understand his words and I burst into tears, how could he know, does everyone really read me like an open book?
Yunho took me in his arms and held me tightly, I let myself melt in this embrace that I had missed so much.
Then I realized that everyone was crying.
Seonghwa and Hongjoong were holding hands and looking at us, tears streaming down their faces.
Jongho lowered his head, probably not wanting to be seen crying.
San was looking out the window, clearly trying to hide the tears and sobs that were shaking his body.
I was very surprised to see Mingi crying softly too. I thought he hated me and Yuhno's words would not have touched him.
In Yunho's arms comfortably, I let myself sleep, soothed by his comforting embrace.