We are walking in the dark streets of our neighboring subdivision. Malayo layo din kasi yung pinanggalingan namin na birthday party.

 

Minjeong is following me like a kid. After the song and dance that she pulled a while ago, I don't know how to approach her so basically we ignore each other all throughout the party. 

 

Kinilig lang naman kasi ako ng slight.

 

She definitely knows kung saan siya lulugar at times like this. She never steps in my boundaries. Sobrang understanding and tahimik niya kahit pwede naman siya magtanong kung ano naging problema namin at kung bakit ako tumahimik bigla.

 

I stopped in my tracks and I faced her, "Winjeong, why don't you walk here sa tabi ko? Stop walking behind me." 

 

She stopped in an instant para hindi siya mabangga sa akin but it's too late. Nabangga niya na ako.

 

Ganito ba talaga siya nabangga niya din ako last time e. She was sulking like a kid sa likod kaya hindi niya mapansin pansin yung dinadaanan niya.

 

"Hala, sorry… hindi ko sinasadya." 

 

"Why are you acting all awkward? Diba dapat ako yun." 

 

"Hindi naman ako awkward e. Ano lang…"

 

"Ano?"

 

"Respectful hehe" Nagpeace sign pa siya at nageye smile sa'kin.

 

"Neknek mo respectful" I playfully hit her arm.

 

After our short banter, we just enjoyed the silence as we strolled on our way home. She keeps on glancing at me and my feet.

 

Medyo masakit na din kasi yung paa ko kaya napansin niya siguro na iika-ika ako maglakad. This black shoes is hurting me kanina pang umaga habang nagpapractice. 

 

Minjeong grabs my wrist to stop me from walking, "Masakit ba?" she kneeled in front of me.

 

Umiiling na lang ako kahit hindi niya na makita dahil nakayuko na siya harap ko.

 

Minsan matapang, minsan duwag. Minsan flirty, minsan hindi. I can't understand her.

 

Tinanggal niya yung slides na suot niya. Lagi kasi siya may dalang slides sa school kaya pag uwian nakikita ko siyang nakaslippers na lang.

 

Perks of being a volleyball player siguro. 

 

She removed my black shoes at pinasuot niya sa akin yung slides niya. Siya yung nagsuot ng black shoes ko tapos sobrang luwag naman sa kanya.

 

Tumayo na siya at binigyan ako ng ngiti, "Ayan para mas comfy ka na maglakad. Pwede mo naman ibalik sakin yan bukas." 

 

I was still silent.

 

"Baka gusto mo buhatin pa kita ha" She smirks at me. Ano akala mo sakin lampa?

 

Binatukan ko na siya ng malakas dahil napakaassuming niya.

 

Strong, independent woman ako.

 

After a few minutes, I realized na medyo malamig na ang simoy ng hangin. Hindi pa naman ber months bakit malamig na agad?

 

This kid beside me has been nudging me while we are walking. Minsan pa nga nagbabrush against each other yung fingers namin habang naglalakad.

 

I tried to reach her hands para matapos na yung problema. She gave me that doe-eyed expression nung hinawakan ko kamay niya. I interlocked our fingers while staring at her.

 

Ang lamig naman ng kamay nito. 

 

"Yuji tingnan mo oh" napatingin naman ako sa tinuro niya.

 

Yung moon.

We are staring at the moon for a long time. Narealize ko na kanina ko pa pala hawak yung kamay niya. I was about to release my hold pero mas lalo niya hinigpitan yung pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko.

 

"Ang ganda ng moon diba?" She was staring at the moon while I was analyzing her if alam niya ba meaning nung sinabi niya.

 

"Ha?" Kunware hindi ko narinig.

 

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it? Ayan english na para maintindihan mo." 

 

Minjeong wtf? You really don't know what that means?

 

"Oh, bakit ganyan mukha mo?" Nagtataka niya akong tiningnan tapos lumapit pa siya sa mukha para lang icheck ako.

 

"What the ?" 

 

So hindi niya nga talaga alam.

 

"That means I love you, Minjeong." 

 

"Luh, kakastart ko lang manligaw sayo love mo na ako agad. Edi I love you too, yuji hehe." 

 

"Ewan ko sayo" I immediately let her hands go and fasten my pace para maiwan na siya.

 

Nakakainis kasi bakit ang dali sa kanya magsabi ng ganon.

 

"Yuji! Wait for me!"

"Yu Jimin!"

"Yah! Karina!"

"SARANGHAE!!"

"SARANGHANDAGU!!!"

"SARANGHANDANIKKA!!"

"JINJA NEOMU NEOMU SARANGHAE!"

"Jimin!"

Nakuha pa akong asarin. Bahala ka sa buhay mo, Minjeong.

 

-

 

"Jimin, why are you late again?" sinalubong ako ni Lola pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko ng pinto.

 

"Busy po sa project" Matipid kong sagot at dali daling tumungo sa kwarto.

 

Project ko gumala.

 

"Hija, yung mama mo tumawag kanina. Gusto ka niya kausapin." pahabol ni Lola, "Tawagan mo siya mamaya."

 

"Opo." 

 

I swear if this is all about pagiging late ko umuwi, I will not hesitate to drop that call.

 

Binaba ko na ang mga gamit ko at dumiretso na sa bathroom para sana maligo-

 

Mama calling…

 

I'm contemplating if dapat ko na ba tong sagutin or later na lang. Akala ko pa naman mamaya pa talaga siya tatawag. After a few rings, I picked up the call.

 

"Jimin, how many times pa ba kita tatawagan bago mo sagutin yung phone mo?" She burst out angrily. Mababasag na eardrums ko dito.

 

I put the phone in a loudspeaker at nagsimula na lang akong magayos ng mga gamit ko sa kwarto.

 

"Jimin, are you there? Hello? Jimin? Yu Jimin?" 

 

Tinapunan ko lang ng tingin yung phone ko. I sighed and answered, "Hm"

 

"Sabi ng Lola mo late ka na umuuwi. Hindi kita pinalipat sa Laguna para maglakwatsa, Jimin. Pinaalis ka na nga ng magaling mong ama dahil sa mga kalokohan mo tapos dadalhin mo lang dito! Hindi ka ba talaga nadadala!"

 

"Your allowance! Ang bilis daw maubos ng allowance mo! I told you na tipirin mo yun matuto kang maghandle ng pera. Hindi ako nagtatae ng pera, Jimin." 

 

Blah blah blah paulit ulit

 

I lowered the volume para hindi ko na masyado marinig yung rants niya. 

 

Ever since I arrived here ganyan na siya, strict and bossy. Akala mo naman inuuwian ako.

 

"Jimin! Makinig ka sa akin wag kang bastos kinakausap pa kita! Baka nakamute na yang cellphone mo at hindi mo naman pinapakinggan yung sinasabi ko!"

 

Bastos pa din naman ako pag sumagot ako. Saan ako lulugar? Lol.

 

"Ma, may gagawin pa akong assignment pwede bang bukas na lang po tayo magusap? Bye po." Hindi ko na inantay yung reply niya at binaba ko na yung tawag.

 

I was about to turn my phone off para hindi na ako matawagan ni mama.

 

Ting!

 

New message from unknown.

 

Binuksan ko yung message at napaupo na lang ako sa nakita ko.

 

Putangina mo talaga.

 

-

 

Umabsent ako kahapon due to personal reasons and everything. Minabuti ko na din na hindi muna pansinin si Minjeong dahil wala ako sa mood.

 

"Rina." Napalingon ako sa likuran ko at nakita ko si Jaemin na may inaabot na water. Tinanggap ko naman to at ininom.

 

He sat beside me and watched the players of each team na nagtetraining ngayon. 

 

Wala ba tong sariling training?

 

"I was thinking about inviting you later. Pwede ba tayong kumain sa labas?" 

 

I'm not paying attention with Jaemin dahil nakikita ko sa di kalayuan na sobrang sama na ng tingin ni Minjeong.

 

Angry maltese.

 

"Rina?" Jaemin waved his hand in front of my face. "I am waiting for your reply."

 

"Ano yun?" I was confused kasi hindi ko naman talaga narinig yung sinabi.

 

"I'm asking kung pwede tayong kumain sa labas after school? Is that okay with you?" 

 

"Sure." 

 

Binalik ko uli yung tingin ko kay Minjeong. Training nila ngayong oras. Her attention was on us kaya hindi niya napansin yung bolang papunta sa kanya.

 

"Winter! Look out!"

"Minjeong!"

"Win!"

 

She was hit right on her face. Natumba pa siya at napahiga sa court. Nagkumpulan ang players sa court para asikasuhin siya.

 

Natawa naman ako sa mga sunod na pangyayari dahil her friends was rushing like crazy sa scene.

 

"Minjeonggggg! CPR! Sino marunong magcpr?!" Hysterical na sigaw ni Ryujin habang hawak hawak niya yung ulo ni Minjeong. I don't know if she is helping ba talaga kasi parang sinasabunutan niya pa yung tao.

 

"Aeri cpr mo si Minjeong!" Nakita ko naman si Yuna na niyuyugyog yung shoulders ni Aeri.

 

Aeri looks calm hindi siya nagpapanic unlike nung dalawa. Maya maya pa ay bigla siyang tumalikod at naglakad palayo.

 

"Hoy Yuna! Pabalikin mo si Aeri dito!"

"Hoy Aeri!"

"Hilain mo tanga! Nawawala sa wisyo yan pag nagpapanic!"

 

Everyone was laughing at the chaotic scene. Aeri was spacing out in the side while Yuna was bothering her. 

 

"Minjeongggg! Wag mo kaming iwan! Hindi ko kayang mawala ka! Min-"

 

Ryujin stopped babbling when she earned a slap from Minjeong. 

 

"Ang ingay ingay mo. Malayo to sa bituka gago!" 

 

As if on cue, tumulo yung dugo sa ilong ni Minjeong. Lumapit na kami ni Jaemin para tumulong pero lalo lang ata naging chaotic ang events.

 

"May dugo!" Ryujin was screaming out of her lungs while Minjeong was stopping the bleeding with her hands.

 

"Aeri, may dugo!" Muntik pang himatayin si Aeri sa sight ng blood.

"Call 911"

"Ambulansya!"

 

Everyone was laughing when they saw Yuna pushing a wheelbarrow out of nowhere while making ambulance siren sounds.

 

Binuhat ni Ryujin si Minjeong para ilagay dun sa wheelbarrow at tinulak na nila papuntang clinic. Sumunod naman sa kanya si Yuna na akay-akay si Aeri habang nagsa-siren sounds.

 

Kaya walang tumulong sa kanila e ang chaotic kasi. Sobrang unserious nung tatlo rumescue. Para tuloy kaming nanonood ng sit-com.

 

3 idiots. No, it's 4 idiots. Aeri lutang is included na.

 

-

 

"So ano gusto mong kainin, Rina?" 

 

Jaemin took me to the nearest restaurant. His family owns this resto, kaya he wanted to bring me here. He also said he wanted to introduce me to his father but I politely declined his offer.

 

I am not yet ready lalo na at hindi naman ako sure sa kanya. I'm just giving him a chance because he's nice. I don't want to commit to relationships pa naman. 

 

"Why don't you try my father's specialty?" He was showing me the menu. He is pointing at the beef yakiniku. 

 

Yung price nakakalula. Ang sakit sa mata.

 

"Or kung gusto mo let's order sukiyaki na large? magsukiyaki na lang tayo?" I looked at the dish that he was talking about and it is more expensive than the first one.

 

"Let's go with bento na lang, Jaemin." I awkwardly smiled.

 

I hate expensive things. I am into fashion but I don't like spending a large sum of money sa pagkain kung mas gusto ko naman yung kwek kwek sa tabi tabi.

 

-

 

[TW]: If you are sensitive to self harm, you can skip this part.

 

 

Hinatid ako ni Jaemin sa tapat ng bahay namin. He already knows where I live dahil nga sinasabay at hinahatid niya na ako dati before pa man kami nagsabay ni Minjeong.

 

"May boyfriend ka na?" Nagulat naman ako sa Tita ko.

 

"You're here? Himala." I was more surprised na umuwi siya dito dahil magkalive-in partner sila ng jowa niya.

 

She's in college na kaya she rarely stays here. Mas prefer niya sa condo ng jowa niya na si Ate Seulgi dahil mas malapit sa University nila.

 

"Come on, Jimin. Ngayon na nga lang ako umuwi susungitan mo pa ako." 

 

"Ate Irene, this is the normal me. You're masungit din kaya kwits lang." I rolled my eyes and she tried to poke it.

 

"Pero may boyfriend ka na? I thought nagmana ka sa akin."she sound so disappointed e hindi pa naman ako nagsasabi, "lagot ka sa mama mo niyan, sumbong kita kay Ate Tiffany ha!" 

 

Sipsip kay Mama. Porket magkapatid sila pagtutulungan ako.

 

"Can you please calm down? Hindi ko boyfriend yun. Manliligaw lang na wala pang balak sagutin. I tried to turn him down before but he was persistent, so I gave him a chance. Okay?" 

 

"Okay ang red flag mo ha paasa yern, so sino yung isang kasabay mo lagi maglakad, Jimin?" 

 

"Pati ba naman yun? Akala ko ba you're not living here bakit alam mo yun? Are you spying on me? Sinabihan ka ni mama no" 

 

"Nakita ko with my eyes. May mata kasi ako, Jimin." Tinuturo niya pa yung eyes niya.

 

"She's a friend." 

 

May binubulong bulong siya sa sarili niya na hindi ko marinig.

 

 

"Pasok na ako. Welcome back sayo." Paalam ko at pumasok na sa room.

 

"Thanks for the warm welcome! Sa sobrang warm nilalamig ako." Narinig kong sigaw ni Tita Irene.

 

I slumped down in my chair at napatulala na lang. My gaze went down on my wrists.

 

I was waiting for Minjeong to question me about this dahil ilang beses niya na nakita to. 

 

Medyo suicidal ako dati, by defining medyo siguro two times ako naglalaslas every after three days when I was staying pa in Cavite.

 

I was doing this para makaramdam ako ng pain. Physical pain. Sobrang numb ko na kasi after what I went through emotionally.

 

The more na mas malalim ang pagkakahiwa, the more pain ang mararamdaman ko.

 

I was busy tracing the lines on my wrist that is why I flinched when I heard my ringtone.

 

Ting!

 

A new message from Minju <3.

 

Minju: I heard na nanliligaw na pala sayo yung lagi mong kinekwento. That Minjeong girl.

 

Jimin: Paano mo naman nalaman?

 

Minju: She sent me some form of a resume and recommendation letter.

 

A what? Resume? Recommendation letter?

 

Minju sent an attachment.

 

Binuksan ko yung files. Baliw talaga to si Minjeong. Baliw na baliw sa'kin.

Facts.

 

Jimin: When pa niya sinend yan and why did she send you those? May job opening ka ba?

 

Minju: Medyo matagal na din siguro a week ago basta nasabi na daw niya sayo na manliligaw na siya kaya sinend niya sa akin dahil bestfriend mo lang naman ako, K.

 

Minju: May job opening sana for manliligaw mo pero parang gusto ko na iclose.

 

Jimin: Since when ka naman nagkaright para diktahan ang life ko, Minju?

 

Minju: Nung sinimulan mo siguro yung katangahan mo.

 

Anong katangahan sinasabi neto?

 

Jimin: Mas tanga ka, Ju.

 

Minju: Well, mas tanga ka. Akala mo ba hindi ko malalaman.

 

Jimin: Can you just spill it? Hindi ako manghuhula.

 

Minju: You are still in touch with Yujin. She is also saying na you are still together tapos nagpapaligaw ka? Hindi lang isa, Jimin. Dalawa pa. Tatlo pa nga sana if bet mo si Jeno e.

 

Jimin: Stop accusing me of things that I don't have any control over. Nanliligaw sila because they want to.

 

Minju: So aminado ka din na pinapaasa mo sila no? Come on, Jimin. Grow up. If you're family treats you like a , wag mo naman gawin sa ibang tao. Stop sending mixed signals. Kawawa si Minjeong.

 

Jimin: So are you telling me this kasi parang bet mo din agawin si Minjeong?

 

Minju: Are we seriously going to talk about this? First of all, I like Minjeong because of her sincerity. I like her para sayo and not for me. Akala ko ba tapos na tayo sa issue namin ni Yujin at napatawad mo na ako?

 

Jimin: I forgive but I don't forget.

 

Minju: I hope mali ako sayo.

 

Mali ka naman talaga.

 

Yes, that unknown message a few days ago was from Yujin.

 

Flashback

 

I was about to turn my phone off para hindi na ako matawagan ni mama.

 

Ting!

 

New message from unknown.

 

Binuksan ko yung message at napaupo na lang ako sa nakita ko.

 

Unknown: I love you, Jimin. I miss you.

 

Jimin: Who are you?

 

Unknown: Tinatanong mo pa e kilala mo naman ako.

 

Jimin: Yujin.

 

End of flashback

 

Tama naman ako sa part na nanliligaw lang sila. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako mali at bakit ako inakusahan ng cheating.

 

Jaemin? I was fascinated by his sincerity and perseverance to pursue me. I love how he treats me.

 

Minjeong? As I said before she was like a huckleberry that protects me from the rays of the sunshine. She makes me feel that "kabag thing" but I never acknowledge what I truly feel for her.

 

Mixed signals? I never showed interest with just anyone. Not unless they tried to make the first move. 

 

Yujin? Yujin is just being Yujin. After her cheating allegations with Minju and others, hindi ko alam kung saan siya nakakakuha ng kapal ng mukha. 

 

Okay, aaminin ko. We don't have any formal break up or closure man lang. Basta umalis na lang ako sa Cavite and just like that we're not talking anymore. So, I assumed na humanap na siya ng iba and wala ng kami.

 

For me, wala na talaga kami. 

 

-

 

Karina niyo red flag! Hindi daw nagshow ng interest pero may holding hands under the moonlight. Basher ako HAHSHAHAHA