The moment you witness your love kissing someone is the moment you will lose yourself.

It was one cloudy day here in States. She broke up with me exactly one month ago. Sabi niya lang, she will follow her dad. Sino ba ako para sabihing wag niya sundin yung daddy niya diba? I thought I can do it alone. I thought I can survive a day na hindi siya isipin, akala ko kaya ko. Every day pinaparealize ng apartment ko kung paano nawala yung 3 years na pinaghirapan ko. Yung mga pangarap na binuo namin, or binuo ko, ako lang. It was a child’s play lang pala all along.

Bear please, we both know that this, whatever we have hindi ito yung pangmatagalan. A mistake.

No wonder why everyone I love leaves.

Pain. All I can feel is pain. Hindi pangmatagalan. Ganun ba talaga ako? Hindi pang matagalan.

Alam mong whatever we have is mawawala lang din yan soon. Now is the time for me to have a normal family.

Normal family? Abnormal ba yung kaya ko lang maoffer? I was on my knees begging for her not to leave but she did it anyway. Joy came after Sunmi left me pero I pushed her away. I pushed everyone away. Syempre I still keep my tabs on my former lover, unfortunately. When I discovered that she moved here, I immediately follow and here I am, witnessing her with her date. Watching her laugh at him, kiss him and hold him. It was me before, or ako lang yung nag-iisip nun. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako dinala ng mga paa ko pero the next thing I know is that I woke up in someone else’s apartment. Hindi ko na ginising yung girl sa tabi ko, I immediately went back to my hotel and booked a flight pabalik ng Europe.

Days passed. Ginawa ko naman lahat. I did everthing na alam ko to ease the pain. Sinubsob ko yung time ko sa trabaho to at least forget her but every night when silence will visit me, I will still be haunted by how happy she was when I saw her sa States. I should be happy too right? Atleast nahanap niya na yung gusto niya, that what matters.

"Mind if I join you?" I didn't bother to look at the person who ask me. The hell I care?

"I didn't know na you are forgetful pala." I am not sure if ako padin yung kausap niya.

"I got annoyed when I didn't saw you first thing in the morning sa apartment ko last week."

"Miss? Ako ba kausap mo?"

"You forgot me na?"

"Please I am not here to flirt."

"Exact words from our last meeting. Would you mind if I join you again?"

"What do you want ba?"

"You. You gave me a very unforgettable night. It took me a while para mahanap ka andito ka lang pala."

“What’s in it for me?”

“Whatever you want.”

Then everyday, I keep on waking up sa apartment niya. It was a good thing kasi naiiwasan ko yung apartment ko. I don't want to be there it as it has all the memories I have with Sunmi.

"Why are you so good at this?! Uhmmm."

"Shhhhh."

"Can I ask for your name now?"

"Told you already, no need to know each other. You distract me in life, and I give you what you want."

"Oh God, you are so good at this."

"Why doing this?"

"I told you already, cause you are unforgettable."

"Honey, you want to try this? Choose."

"You are asking me to try ecstasy, and heroin? This is illegal. I know I am not that good but I don't do drugs."

"Yes, illegal but you said you want to forget her, right? I can still hear you saying her name between our love making. I am not distracting you enough."

"I am good plus I don't want to go to jail."

"My dad is working in the embassy, trust me with this."

"You have more? I need more."

"Hey, that's it for today. You already consumed the other drugs I bought for the month. You'll be overdosed soon."

"Come on! Last please?"

"Okay fine as long as you give me a better performance later in bed?"

“Seulgi, your workmates are asking where are you? We went na sa apartment mo and wala ka saan ka ba?”

“Joy, malaki na ako please stop acting as if you are my mom.”

“Where are you?”

“Hey Honey, come on end that call. It’s disturbing us.”

“Who’s that?! Seulgi I can hear her. Where are you!”

It was one night, that girl was not available, and I am alone in my apartment. I know, I saw her transact with this hooded man near the alley in the bar we used to go.

“Hey you.”

“Me? What?”

“I know you give supplies to that pretty girl. The one every Wednesday.”

“Oh, that girl. What do you want?”

“I am here cause, she wants me to pick it to you.”

“Nope, I only transact every Wednesday to her.”

“Tell me how much you want.”

“I know what you’re doing man.”

“I can give you money.”

“If you can double it, then it will be our little secret.”

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