credits to the owner of the pic :)


author's note:
this is the untold story of tiffany when she was in America, and she's recalling her last moments with taeyeon especially the time when they were having fun in the amusement park. If you're confused the just ask, I don't mind explaining this to you because it's been so long since the last time I've updated..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Untold Story

I had seen people crying
but I always stood straight and never moved.

I watched them in distance

I hide on my own shadow
I never wanted to go out
nor I want them to see me.

This glorious place where I believe I don’t belong to.
in this shell that not even once I felt I exist
I was a nobody ever since breath had came to me.
and I’ll die alone

I wish I hadn’t witnessed how this magnificent creature crumpled
I saw fire in everyone’s heart
a flame of lust and desire
the flesh hide it well but it burns through their souls

I heard them scream
both crying in pain and joy
I closed my eyes
and saw how evil eats their poor little candle of life

I clench my fist so hard, that I felt a never ending liquid oozing out
from my thin skin, it was red and it keeps on flowing
I taste something salty, I found my vision blurred

did I cry? I don’t know
but I felt helpless
What can a child do?
a mere kid who doesn’t even know
how to talk and how to walk

but With her eyes that let her see things
her ears to listen, her hands touch and her lungs to breathe
She was able to live

"so tae-tae what do you think about this? did you like what I wrote?" tiffany whispered
"I wish you were here, I wanna see you again. Tae-tae I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to leave you so sudden" tiffany kept muttering these words while crying. "I really miss you so much, I'll be back for you tae, I promise" She hugged herself while sitting all alone on her bed, with wires connected on her chest, hand and back.

"I remember how lonely it was, when I had to go through the therapy and stayed in the hospital while the machines keep on beeping. I didn't exactly planned to tell tae-tae where I am because I don' want to see her sad because of me. If the therapy and the surgery fails tae-tae won't be hurt so much and I want her to live a normal life, find someone who can be with her for a long time, not like me who's gonna be dead soon." tiffany kept on staring blankly ahead " I guess this is really my destiny, I love you tae and I don't want you to be unhappy because of me, Mom died during the surgery, the machines stopped beeping, it was so silent and it frightened me a lot when my mom dosen't move at all when she used to pat my head every morning." Her tears won't stop from falling.

"I don't want you to be me, after my mom died I felt like I'm nothing I don't want to see you live your life like that because of me. I love you so much, but it doesn't change the fact that I might not be able to survive or heal. I have the same destiny as my mom, that's what I heard the doctors say, I didn't usually stay outside that long, do you remember when you asked me to stay with you outside to camp? I said no, because the doctors don't let me play outdoor games or stay exposed outside. I'm a prisoner tae-tae as long as I have this heart disease I won't be able to stay with you that long. I let you play with me in the amusement park, honestly, I felt like I'm dying at that moment, my heart's like crazy but I had you with me that I kept on acting I was okay, though not really. I wasn't able to continue what I need to say to you at that time because I really can't hold on anymore. I passed out, I heard you call my dad when I woke up inside a car, you're telling him to go to Seoul hospital as you were sending me there. But I don't want you to know the truth, I even told you that I'm okay then I asked you to stop the car and begged you to buy me water because that's all I need."

"And you did, you wnt out of the car and hurriedly run to the market just to buy me water. Silly, I know you'll be angry at me if you'll discover I'm nowhere to be found. I hailed a cab to get away from you and went to my dad, I called him first to not tell you what's really happening to me. Fortunately, dad has send the doctors immediately and I was healed for quite some time. But my dad really wanted me to have the surgery. I went to your mom and that's when I found out you were involved in a car accident, you must have gone crazy when I left you alone in your car. I'm so sorry. I tried to talk to your mom but she slapped me so hard and tell me to stay away from you. I'm the reason why you're in a critical situation I almost killed myself when I found you unconsciously lying on bed, you reminded me of my mom, machines connected to your body."

Your mom kept on crying and when she saw me through the glass she immediately went outside and pushed me away. Mrs. kim threatened me but one statement had succesfully made me quit on you. "TAEYEON DOESN'T NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU, YOU ALMOST KILLED HER, LOOK WHAT YOU HAD DONE TO HER?! TAE NEEDS SOMEONE WHO CAN BE THERE FOR HER! SOMEONE WHO'S NOT GONNA LEAVE HER! I KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS ACTUALLY SEARCHING FOR YOU WHEN SHE WAS CRASHED BY A TRUCK! SHE CALLED ME TO HELP ME FIND YOU AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW SHE WAS IN THE NEWS! THAT SHE WAS HERE IN THE HOSPITAL, IN THIS KIND OF CRITICAL SITUATION! SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU! YOU ALMOST KILLED MY DAUGHTER! REMEMBER THIS, I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST TO MAKE YOU SUFFER!"

SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU! TAE NEEDS SOMEONE WHO CAN BE THERE FOR HER! SOMEONE WHO'S NOT GONNA LEAVE HER! "Those words that hit me real hard, I can't be with you, your mom was right. You're better off with someone else, som,eone who could live longer than me. I'm so sorry, until now it hurts so much, I didn't know it would happen. I hope you're okay now because if not I wouldn't really forgive myself."

"Then dad came to me, he told me that your family cancelled and rejected all those supposed to be projects of our companies together. Your mom broke the tie between our businesses. It made me feel so lost, your family hated me so much. Dad insisted that I should go on the operation and therapy in States, but how could I, knowing that you're still not waking up. Dad promised me that my operation will be successful that I can be with you but I cried because I know it wouldn't happen, not now when your whole family hates me and my father. But in the end, I still went here in America right after your family announces in public that the merging of our companies won't happen and I still don't know if you're alive or what, I really wanted to see you one last time. But my condition really , I can't even walk without being dizzy or anything. I know you won't be able to hear me say these things again that I decide to write my everyday life in america in my own diary, I hope someday your family will forgive me and for you to find someone who will make you happy and safe. I love you forever and ever"