14

Right before I close my eyes,

The only thing that's on my mind,

Been dreamin' that you feel it too,

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you.

Wonder, Shawn Mendes

Kwon Yujin held her breath.

She was concentrating on the ball, shutting out all the shouts and cheers around her. She saw the ball coming towards her direction, getting closer by the second. She focused the energy on her leg’s muscles and then jumped, so high as if she was flying in the air. Her eyes locked on the ball, and her arm just instinctively moved, spiking the ball.

SLAM!

The ball was spiked into the opponent’s side, and it bounced at least 15 meters in the air afterwards. Her teammates roared with cheers, and Yujin punched a fist in the air, proud. She scored another point for her group that evening, and it’s her second consecutive point.

The whistle blown, and the they ended the game with the victory on Yujin’s team.

It’s another routine practice, the last one before they’re entering the inter-college tournament. The first match will be in two days, and they’re aiming for a win. They’re more confident this year, since they have a few promising freshman on the team. Especially Yujin. The coach already picked her as the starting player for the first match.

Yujin sat down on the bench, to cool herself before heading back. She grabbed the water to drink. She reached into her bag to check her phone. There’s not much to check anyways, just more of her sister nagging texts that she didn’t bother to open, and also notifications on her studying group chats. She could see that Nako was spamming on their high school friends group chat, probably annoying the heck out of Hitomi again. That friend of theirs is in the different college now, in the different state. The usual bickering again, boring.

She sighed and opened Instagram.

It’s not stalking, she said to herself, as she opened Minju’s Instagram account. She’s just checking how she’s been doing. Her ex hasn’t posted anything for the past few days, she wondered if she has a new post today.

There wasn’t any new post, but there’s a new story.

She was excited as she clicked on it. She gasped.

Minju’s Instagram story was a video of a volleyball game. It was her last spike caught on camera. The tall girl turned around, looking at the second floor where the angle might have been filmed.

She saw a girl waving at her. Long black hair, in a white sweater and that beautiful smile.

She gulped, and froze in disbelief.

It was Minju.

**

“You were so cool, Yujin-ah!” Minju gushed.

Yujin kept mum as she was packing up her stuff into her bag. She had just changed into her sweatpants and varsity jacket, and now she’s ready to go home. She tried to ignore the fact that Minju was there. The older girl suddenly came to the club’s room, waiting for her outside the door. Her other teammates let her in, since she said she’s there for Yujin.

“The way you spiked the ball was so cool, I thought I was watching a scene from a movie or something, it was unreal,” Minju added with admiration.

One of her teammates chimed in, “I know right? Yujin is so talented, she’s our new ace!”

“Since Yujin joined the team, we have so many students came to watch our practice, she’s so popular. They’d be crushed if they knew Yujin already have a girlfriend,” said another senior player.

Yujin’s face turned red and she glared at her teammates, “Stop saying nonsense, unnie. I’m going.”

She quickly left the room without saying anything else, and Minju followed her from behind.

“Ooh, is Kwon being shy?” said the team’s captain loud, purposely teasing her.

Though she heard that, Yujin quickened her steps.

She walked for a good five minutes, heading towards the campus’s bus stop without even looking back. She knew Minju was following her closely behind, trying to catch up to her, but she won’t slow down.

Suddenly she stopped walking.

Minju wasn’t aware of that and she ended up bumping on her back.

“Ahhh!” she shrieked.

Yujin turned around and looked at the older but shorter girl. The latter was looking at her nervously.

“You were walking too fast, so-

“Unnie, why are you following me?” she asked, in an annoyed tone.

Minju bit her lip, “I-I wanted to talk to you.”

Yujin sighed, “What’s there to talk about?”

“There’s… a lot to talk about, Yujin-ah,” she replied, calm.

She had anticipated this kind of reaction from her, her passive-aggressiveness.

The younger girl scoffed, “I’m sure you have someone else to talk to, why don’t you go to them instead?”

Minju shook her head, “No, I have to talk to you, and you only.”

Yujin looked at her and their gazes met, for a second Minju thought she saw her cheeks turning red. But the younger girl immediately shook her head and cleared .

“W-What is it about?” she said, looking away.

Minju smiled, “Hmm, can we go somewhere and talk? Please?”

**

They sat at a bench in the park.

It was evening and there weren’t many people there. Maybe because the weather getting colder these days.

Yujin kept mum and stared at the ground. She let Minju does all the talking. The older girl talked about the weather, about the game she just watched, and the cute dogs that passes by. Yujin didn’t say much, just nodding to whatever she said.

“What do you want to talk to me about, unnie?” Yujin suddenly asked.

They looked at each other.

“Stop beating around the bush and get to it. I’m tired and I wanna go back to my room and sleep.”

Minju gulped.

“Okay then. I won’t stall anymore.”

She took a deep breath, “Yujin-ah.”

“I apologize for hurting you that day.”

Yujin gulped.

The older girl continued, “Truth is, I was confused. I didn’t know what I was feeling. I didn’t know it myself. I don’t know what I was feeling for you, or her.”

Minju looked down.

“But now, I know. I’m sure of it.”

She looked up and met the younger girl’s eyes, “Yujin-ah, can you… accept me again?”

Yujin looked at her, speechless. The look in Minju’s eyes tells her that she was sincere this time. Minju was longing for her. And guess what? She’s longing for her too.

Deep in her heart, she wanted to wrap her arms around her and pull her close. She wanted to kiss her lips again, because to her, that’s the best feeling in the world. She wanted to tell her that she was never angry at her, she had forgiven her long ago, and that her feelings for her had never once changed.

Tell her that she’s her first love, and her last love.

Maybe she’s young, but she knows that for sure.

But she didn’t.

Her heart and her mind wanted different things.

The words that came out of was,

“W-What do you take me for?”

Minju looked at her, shocked.

She continued, “Do you think that I’m just… a loyal dog who will always wait for you like a fool?”

“Do you think you can come and go as you please?”

“Yujin-ah…”

“I’m not a dog, I’m-

She paused. Tears were welling in her eyes, and so does hers. She stood up and grabbed her bag. She slings the bag around her shoulders and wiped her eyes with her hands.

“I’m a human being with feelings too, you know,” she continued.

Minju stood up and looked at her helplessly.

“I never thought of you that way-

Yujin cuts in, “I gotta go. I have an important match in two days and I have no time for this. I need to focus and win.”

“So yeah, bye.”