‏‭dinner was quiet, both eating silently and munching at the pepperoni pizza which Minseok ordered. Luhan was extremely quiet, just looking down at his food, feeling embarrassed to look up and face Minseok. 

‏‭“You can stop now” 

‏‭Luhan flinched when he heard Minseok speaks. he looked up and saw him scowling at him “Stop what?” he asked with low volume. 

‏‭“Am I scaring you?” he asked “You didn’t even raise your head up since what...” Minseok looked at the wall watch “fifteen minutes, oh, Count the time it took for the food to arrive.. that’s forty minutes” he said and scoffed “I’m not going to eat you”. 

‏‭“Sorry... I’ve been a pain in the ... I.. I really don’t want to upset you” Luhan felt so nervous with Minseok gaze on him. he stuttered and again felt shame “I’m usually not like this” he stated the fact which everyone knew already “I... It’s just... you” again he stuttered and looked away from Minseok’s gaze.

‏‭“So, it’s my fault now” 

‏‭Luhan looked up with worry. did he offend Minseok? “No, no... it’s not like that” he said in rush “It’s.. It’s just.. I..” he felt like shrinking. how he’s in front of Minseok and talking to him face to face, having the same food in his own house... who would believe it? 

‏‭Luhan felt like it’s a dream, but he knew it wasn’t and what worst... the more time he spends with Minseok, even with the other treating him dryly, he’s still feeling the same or more... that’s what’s scaring him, that he’s starting to feel more.... 
‏‭ 
‏‭Luhan looked straight into Minseok’s eyes, he felt like his eyes starting to tear... “I think I should go” he suddenly said and got up from the dining table and headed to the outside door in fast steps. 

‏‭he felt like his world is turning upside down, he couldn’t express how he’s feeling or what he’s feeling. In the past, he knew what it was... He loved Kim Minseok the artist, he was a real fanboy but now everything turning real. 

‏‭Being a fan, We know that there are limits. that this love we have for our idols would not be real, it will not come true and still, we’ll move on in our lives and find the person with who we’ll live the rest of our lives. 

‏‭But now... Minseok is real and Luhan doesn’t know how to make himself feel less or to love him less or to expect less.... Luhan finding himself wanting more and it’s unfair to Minseok. he shouldn’t and wouldn’t force himself on anyone and he wouldn’t love the person he loves so dearly to feel annoyed or bad at his behavior.

‏‭Luhan unlocked the door and walked out of the house, no more thoughts and no more disturbing Minseok.... Maybe it should be, No more Minseok to him too... 

‏‭He walked, feeling his steps going faster and faster... the night was cold but he didn’t feel it. He felt nothing except for his aching broken heart. he walked and walked.... until he felt relaxed, his heart beating slowed and when he came back to his conscious he looked around... 

‏‭The houses were all strange, it was too dark and too quiet out there, then he realized ‘oh I’m lost ... Luhan scoffed  “Seriously...” he laughed at himself “I’m so stupid, what am I doing...” he said to himself and then took a deep breath before deciding to walk around to find someone to help him.. if ever he found anyone, the area looked like only a few are living there. 

‏‭“It’s fine,” He said, thinking that he deserves this and maybe he needed it. he needed this situation to happen to get his mind out of Minseok... 

‏‭he walked, searching for a source of light or a living. someone should pass by any time or a lead for the main road. he walked and walked but it didn’t seem like there’s any and what is more strange, he doesn’t remember which way was Minseok’s house.... would he dare to go back? 

‏‭‘no way'

‏‭He had nothing on him. he had no idea where are his wallet and mobile, no hand watch to check what time it was, maybe more than thirty minutes passed of walking or maybe more? 

‏‭Luhan started to feel tired and cold, he started to feel regret next.. he shouldn't let his emotions take over him. he should’ve set a limit. to make his brain cell work for one’s in front of Minseok, at least one’s ... 

‏‭“I’m tired..” he let out an exhale and decided to set on the sidewalk. a car passed by so fast that he couldn’t get a chance to wave at for help. he decided to take some rest and then move again or maybe just stay here, if a car passed then another would... right... 

‏‭“ahhh...” he folded his arms around himself and pulled his legs up to his chest. feeling the cold creeping inside his bones, spring nights were as it’s winter. so cold and he had shorts on and a sweater which did nothing to warm him. except Minseok’s beautiful smell invading his senses...

‏‭“Excuse me, do you need help” 

‏‭Luhan thought he heard a familiar voice, he pulled his head up from his knees and looked up. When he looked up he saw a shocked face looking down at him.

‏‭“Lu.. Luhan...what.. what are you doing here” 

‏‭“Junmyun... Hyung” Luhan stuttered and smiled. 

‏‭“Why are you here,” Worried, Junmyun asked